so i'm just sitting here listening to the Beatles "all you need is love" and online shopping and thinking about my day...which was filled with a whole lotta.....nothin, but a whole lotta love.
i think if i looked up what January's are for in some almanac somewhere (because people tottttallly use almanacs these days), it'd have some big explanation about resolutions and goals and motivation and self improvement. oh, and getting sick.
have your kids been sick too?
ugh, all three have dropped like flies with the most random sicknesses over the last week. Jack: double ear infection/cough/cold/100% irritableness. Alice: crazy coughing, turned into wheezing, turned into several breathing treatments on the nebulizer, turned into freaking mama out a bit, turned into more weird hack coughing. Ellie: cough cough cough, fever like her body was covered in fire, eventual double ear infection. = lots of pink medicine at our house = lots of ibuprofen = lots of sleepless nights = lots of Zombie mom going on = lots of Sesame Street + Jake & the Neverland Pirates.
ahhhhhHH!
guys! WHAT THE CRAP!?
anyway. last night we took Ellie to the Urgent Care. there's this new really awesome Urgent Care center by us. but when we walked in, Ellie grabbed onto my arm really tight, looked up at me with her worried eyes and said, "is this a hospital?" poor thing has a real fear of hospitals. i don't blame her. i don't especially love them myself. i assured her it wasn't - but the longer we were in there, the more and more this place resembled every hospital she's ever been in. she kept laying her head on my shoulder and i could tell she was getting increasingly nervous. finally, her name got called and we headed back to our room to wait some more. i looked over at Ellie, and my heart broke for her a little bit. i wished i could take her fear away - but it's pretty hard to erase experiences like she's had. i had a little prayer in my heart that she'd be ok and be comforted. finally, we got that little knock - and we got the best surprise ever: my good friend Candice was our pediatrician! Ellie knows Candice really well, as she has a daughter Ellie's age and we did Joy School with her. seriously, what are the chances?? immediately, the concern was wiped from her face, and she looked so calm. i felt like it was a little gift - an answer to this worried mama's prayer and her worried child's fear. what a simple way to feel God's love for me and my little family. God is so good.
and for the record: i highly recommend visiting a doctor friend when your kid is sick. it's such a pleasant experience compared the inevitable awkwardness that usually ensues with a random stranger doctor.
so today we stayed home and did nothing. and when i say nothing, i literally mean that i was in my sweats till 12:30 (when i decided to change into work-out clothes to make myself feel better), the girls were in random dress-ups all day, and we did not leave the house. not once. such a rarity for a weekday around here! the girls ran around giggling and making up random games all day, read books to Jack, and let him destroy all the little forts they built. Jack basically got into trouble all day long, including climbing the bathtub and nose-diving straight in, resulting in a pretty good shiner on his shnoz (and some pretty hefty tears). both girls came running to his side and kissed the heck out of those little cheeks, and then we all laid on the floor together and read our new Chatbook that came in the mail and just loved on each other. and then since we all were basically morning-wear anyway, we had breakfast for dinner, drank our pink cocktails, and everyone happily went to bed.
seriously. happily. in bed. with a lot of i love you's even.
my mom and her sisters have this thing where they always ask each other "are you winning?" when they are catching up. basically it's code for "are you above water? are you surviving? or is the enemy creeping in???" i love that phrase, and i ask myself it a lot, "am i winning?"
and so even though everyone has taken turns being as sick as can be in the last few weeks, and even though my to-do list is even longer than it was when i woke up this morning, my lil sweeties went to bed happy and full of love. so tonight i feel like i'm winning. and it feels good.
how were the beatles so smart?
all you really need is love. (ok, and the pink stuff).
Monday March 11, i'll be induced, if Max doesn't come on his own before then. i'll be 37 weeks. it's truly a miracle to have made it this far! my doctors are always shocked to see me at another appointment. in fact, one doc said to me yesterday, "i just have to admit, i was not expecting to still be seeing you here! what the heck!?" amen, brotha. but even though i'm soooooo uncomfortable, and soooooo achy-pained, and soooooo over-boiling with fluid, i really really really hope he makes it till Monday so that i can be induced. the idea of having Max in a very controlled, very calculated/planned/during-the-day environment sounds so appealing to me, especially with all of his special needs. not to mention, it'd be better for him.
you see, he isn't growing very well. in my recent appointments, he is measuring in the less than 10th percentile...which isn't good for all the potential surgeries he will likely need when he is born. still, my fluid levels are through the roof, causing all the techs to come in throughout my appointments and say, "how high is she today?" "have we passed 50 cm's yet?", "isn't that the highest we've seen? you poor thing....."(the highest i've measured is 50 cm's of fluid.... and just to give you an idea: the normal range is somewhere between 5-15 cm of fluid at this stage of pregnancy....high fluid is anything above 24 cm. so i'm measuring like four times the average amount, and twice the "that's too high" mark. yeah, i'm basically an over-inflated water bed....ready to pop). normally they'd induce me right now because of all of this fluid -- because there are other risks with the potential force of my water breaking on its own....and yet, Max needs to grow -- so it's a catch - 22. regardless of all of that info, somehow, my cervix is hardly dilating, my water obviously hasn't broken, and my belly just magically continues to expand. it's incredible, really. a miracle, in my mind. and truth-be-told, i don't mind being the fluid freak. it's kind of cool to be remembered, i guess. not that anyone could forget this big ole belly anyway.
sidenote, why do people lose all filters when talking to pregnant women? like all of a sudden, it's just ok to say whatever comes to your head to them? case in point: this random guy in Costco came up to me last week and said, "oh man honey, you look like a balloon ready to pop right this minute!" and i kind of pity-laughed and said, "yeah, i'm pretty big. luckily at the end of this thing!" and he said, "you'd better hope you're at the end of this thing..." and disgustedly added, "whoa."
like really. in what universe would that ever be appropriate to say to somebody?? did he think i'd feel good after that conversation? don't get me wrong, i was totally fine. in fact, i can totally laugh about it because the fact is, it's true. even my dr. said to me this week when he went to measure my tummy (which is measuring past full-term, even though i'm technically 36 weeks), "whoa, this belly is really starting to freak me out." yeah, tell me something i don't know! i have to look at it every day, and carry it around 24/7! good thing i adore my OB, and that he can't do any wrong in my eyes. because i'm pretty sure if M said that to me, i woulda punched him in the face. (now, that's not really fair, is it?)
wow. i'm rambling.
in spite of my hugeness, there've been lots of little happies that have lifted my spirits this week and last that i want to be able to remember and treasure from this unique moment in my life/our lives:
:: the most beautiful quilt you ever saw.
isn't that amazing!? beautiful!? incredible!? a wonderful friend of mine came and brought this to me this week, and it hasn't left my side. she, with the help of some of my sweetest friends, got together and hand stitched this beautiful quilt for me. here's a little snapshot one of my friends sent me of some of them working on it (makes me tear up to see this photo):
along the edges some of my favorite quotes are embroidered, as well as a large embroidered quote in the middle.it's hard to photograph -- but these are the quotes:
It's better to look up Pray more, worry less live your life on purpose Strength will find you sooner than you ever thought it would Breathe it all in, LOVE it all out, dear self, today you will shine Keep trying, be believing, be happy. don't get discouraged. Things will work out. - Gordon B. Hinckley Turn your face toward the sun, and the shadows fall behind you
and in the middle: Do not fear for I am with you
it is one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me -- and i truly feel arms wrapped around me when i snuggle under it. how do you even begin to thank people for things like this? again, i'm so humbled and overwhelmed by the love and kindness and goodness that has been so generously poured over me and my family these last few months. it has meant more than i could ever express with words.
:: my girls love each other, and it makes me so happy. i think siblings are one of the greatest gifts we can give our children -- and especially in this moment, when i just can't do much, i'm so grateful they have each other to giggle together, to pester each other, to run around in circles together, to dance, and to hug one another.
:: little people hula-hooping is prettyawesome / hilarious!
:: conversations with four-year-olds are pretty awesome, too.
leading up to buying some new hula-hoops for the girls last week, i had a pretty hilarious conversation with Ellie. randomly one afternoon, she came to my side and begged me, "mama, pleeeeeease, can we go buy some hula hoops? pretty pretty pleeeeeease??"
it was random and so sweet, but i explained, "Ellie, hula hoops are so fun, but we can't just go buy something just because we want it."
she asked, "but why mama?"
i told her, "because, i don't have endless amounts of money! just because i want something doesn't mean i have money to buy it."
confidently she replied, "daddy can! daddy has loads of money!"
i was dying. "how do you know he has loads of money?"
and she emphatically put her hands on her hips and said, "Because! He goes to work EVERYDAY!!!"
oh man. kids these days.
:: these adorable sunnies -- i had gotten some for Christmas that malfunctioned, so i just went last week and exchanged them for these ones. how i love them...and the little hint of neon!
:: Alice in sunnies -- (sippin on my diet coke...oh, McD $1 diet cokes, how i love thee) i mean, how can i talk about sunnies and not talk about Alice these days? in fact, she wore some sunnies to church on Sunday...and woudln't take them off in Sacrament meeting. i would ask her to take them off, she'd obey, and 3 seconds later, i'd look down and she'd have them on again. yes, she wears the pants in this relationship (please tell me most two-year-olds do...). but some battles are just too hard to fight, you know?
:: thin mints. need i say more? oh yes, i do. frozen thin mints. there we go.
:: little ballerina buns + tutu bums. i just can't get enough. i can't! Ellie and Alice LOVE having ballet together- i've never seen Alice light up so much about something, and that makes me so happy. they are just the girliest, most graceful little things when they have their ballet outfits on....and it never ceases to melt me into a big pile-o-goo.
:: Alice giving mama + daddy check-ups. (still a household fave). i caught some exerpts on video and had to share:
::these darling bow earrings, gifted to me by some friends on a much-needed-girls' night out (i wear them every day! the most cherished earrings i own) to get some of my favorite pregnancy craving: thai food. mmm, have you ever had mangoes-red-curry? AH. heaven, people! in fact, i think i may have to go get some again this week.... it's just that good.
:: sunny days + swinging+ sittin' in the grass. these little girls love to swing! (and i love to watch them swing, while my big ole self lays on a blanket on the grass) they have gotten to swing lots and lots lately with all the beautiful sunshine we've enjoyed over the last couple of weeks.
:: this funny lil bum.
:: lil dates with my lil loves. Ellie had a couple of birthday parties last weekend -- and so i took Alice out for a little one-on-one date. we got frozen yogurt, got her nails painted, and picked her out a new nightgown (oh, and took lots of pictures, of course! i'm a freak! i admit it!). she was in heaven! and so was i. one-on-one time with each kid is so precious, isn't it?
:: little girls in denim jackets, and dinner dates with friends. featuring our favorite baby girl in the world, Vivian. oh, and husbands who just get each other.
::Elder L. Tom Perry,of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles is coming to speak to my Stake in a special Stake Conference this weekend! this makes me so happy! i hope hope hope so much that we'll get the chance to hear him. what a special experience to get to hear an apostle speak in such a small setting. and since M's dad is in the Stake Presidency, we may even get to meet him/eat lunch with him. i've never personally talked to an apostle before! it makes me giddy/so excited to think about.
{image via lds.org}
::this adorable lil face, that i'll get to see in person in less than a week!it's surreal, to say the least, but makes me so so happy, too.
lots of happies. lots and lots and lots to be grateful for.
it all makes me think of/sing:
"count your many blessings; angels will attend, help and comfort give you to your journey's end."
thank you for being my angels! big hugs and love your way today and always.
today i woke up with the sun shining through my window. i love that. so so so much. it's like taking a happy pill at the start of my day.
i love the sunshine because it means we aren't going to be cooped in all day. usually that means going on a walk or a run -- these days it means sitting on a bench or a chair to watch the girls walk/run around....or in today's case, blow bubbles. i love sunshine because it usually means it's bubble-blowing-weather.
side note: Ellie is the bubble blowing master....and Alice...not so much. she basically spits at the bubble stick the whole time. pretty hilarious.
i love the sunshine because it means that the girls can get out and burn off some energy. they love to ride bikes together -- Alice actually even just pedaled on her trike for the first time! go Alice! she stinks at it, though, and still prefers me to push her. lucky me.
for Christmas i think i mentioned that we found a play-structure for mega cheap off craigslist (i LOVE when that happens). so we got it all set up for the kids before we left town...and are just now getting some good use out of it. i love the sunny days that i can just send them out to play on it -- and man, they love that thing! they love the swings and the slide -- and they mostly play really well together on it. i love love love that play structure.
i love the sunshine because it means that i get to feel totally justified in wearing my sunnies + sandals. and i LOVE wearing sunnies + sandals.
and i love this little pillow M and i bought this weekend which brings a little ray of sunshine inside my lil casa every time i look at it.
love love love that good ole mr. Sunshine.
come back for more loves tomorrow? love-ly.
and don't forget to let me know if you're doing love week so i can link up with you! here are some more places you can feel the love:
