belated thankfulness

wow, i just got on my blog to re-read about my thanksgiving.
i couldn't find anything.
didn't i blog about it??
didn't i upload pictures for that purpose?
didn't i sit here and type out how i'm a grateful person and love my family and how i don't really like turkey that much?
and then i realized-- i never posted anything about thanksgiving.
no thankful post.
not a word about turkey.
or gravy.
or spending time with family.
not word about pilgrims. or indians.
not a single lick of gratitude to be found anywhere.
what?
are you kidding me?
i can be so...............ungrateful, huh?
so, before i go on and tell you how extremely excited i am for the holidays, and how much fun i am having visiting my family in their new abode in southern California, and before i tell you about my first 5k that i ran, and before i ramble off on some rant or tangent or some explanation why i think Ellie is so cute, i will now attempt to give a belated shout-out to thanksgiving with my top 11 reasons to be thankful this year (because i just couldn't squeeze em in to 10 reasons)...

ddrrruummmrrollll:

11. i am thankful for friends. i am thankful for memories we've made with friends this last year. i am thankful for the friendships we have that have stood the test of time and distance as we've moved so far away from most of them. i am thankful for little texts and emails and phone calls that boost me up more than anyone of them could ever even know. i am thankful for old friendships and new friendships. i am grateful to have girls to talk to about this crazy journey called motherhood and life- and i'm grateful to have couples to watch our favorite shows with, go out to dinner with, and just laugh with. and so, since most all of you are my friends, i am grateful for you.

10. i am so thankful that M has a job. what a crazy world we are living in right now. i thank the heavens every day that M can provide for our little family. we truly are blessed.

9. i am so thankful for my family. i'm so thankful they let me barge on their lives so frequently...whether it's to their house or on the phone or through texts or emails...they are always there. it reminds me of our family song "You've Got a Friend," by James Taylor (or Carol King, take your pick) (and yes, we are that cheesy family that has a theme song...but i know you're secretly thinking, hm, i want a family song):

"When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring , summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend."

i'm thankful i've got a friend in my family. yesterday. tomorrow. every day. forever.

8. i am so thankful for M's family. for giving up every nook and cranny of their lovely house to US, our messes, our junk, and our overwhelming presence. for being so generous with their time and resources in helping us get our first home. for being patient with us. for listening to us and talking with us. for being my friends. and most of all, for loving our little Ellie so much. it warms my heart to see how much they love her...and how much she lights up and loves them in return.

7. i'm thankful for Sesame Street. seriously. Elmo is the best babysitter in the whole wide world! (now don't get me wrong here.. i'm always there...don't go submitting my name for Child Protective Services or anything like that.....) but really, i don't know how you moms who don't let your kids watch tv do it. how do you shower? how do you make dinner? how do you fly on airplanes? Ellie is an ABSOLUTE ANGEL on airplanes, thanks to Sesame Street. oh Sesame Street, how i am forever indebted to you.

6. i am thankful for laughter. and for the chances we are given to laugh each day. for example: today, i was going on this breath-taking run along the coast here in Dana Point, CA...well, i took my parents' Golden Retriever, Lucy, with me. everything was going just fine until all of a sudden, Lucy stopped in the middle of this paved walkway...which doubled as a golf-cart path for the nearby ritzy golf course...and pooped. you heard me: POOPED. well, everywhere there were signs saying "CLEAN UP DOG WASTE." but i hadn't brought a plastic bag. i wasn't anticipating cleaning up dog poop on my run. i mean, i have a toddler- i clean enough poop as it is. i don't need, nor do i want dog poop in my life. but there it was- staring at me. i had to do something. so, i looked at it one last time- real long, and real good- cursing just a little bit in my brain, and decided to kick it. yes, i kicked the warm poop to the side of the road with my lovely running shoes. ICK. what's a girl to do?

5. i'm thankful for music. music dictates the whisperings of my little hum-drum heart. current faves:
john mayer's new cd "battle studies" (even though i'm remaining impartial to the phrase: "who says you can't get stoned..." what the?)
david archuleta's christmas cd (A-MAZ-ING.......i  l-o-v-e it)
dashboard confessional's new cd "Alter the Ending" (brings me back to my high school and early college days)
and pretty much any and all other Christmas music....brings goosebumps to my arms and tears to my eyes.

4. i'm thankful for my religion- my beliefs- my Heavenly Father. i'm so grateful to know who i am, and where i am going. i am so grateful for prayer, which gives me so much hope in such a hopeless world....and helps me to not feel alone when i start feeling lonely.

3. i am thankful for my health. it seems like i take it for granted so often. but i am grateful at this time of my life with a busy toddler and a fast-paced world that somehow i am able to keep up...and not be out of breath all the time...or wait, maybe i am out of breath all the time?

2. i am thankful for food. i love food. so much. i've loved learning how to cook lots of yummy foods this year- and i've loved finding new yummy places to eat since we've moved to Northern Cal. i really really hope that heaven has some sort of food. because i think i might be really disappointed if there isn't any. like, i may ask for an earth-guest-pass to come and eat food once a week if there isn't any in heaven. i love it that much.

1. i am thankful for my own little family- for M- who is the perfect person for me...who somehow puts up with all my irrational, overly emotional rantings and crazinesses...and who i know adores me and loves me...and who i love and appreciate more than words can express. and for Ellie, my sweet little almost-18-month old little Ellie who has brought more joy, tears, personality, stubbornness, and love to our home than i ever could've imagined.

and so, i am thankful.
my cup runneth over....

ok, now that i have my thankful closure--

December, you can come now...
with all of your holidayness...
holly,
silver bells,
sleighs,
stars,
mangers,
stockings,
shopping,
baking,
cinnamon,
family togetherness,
evergreen,
sparkles,
mistletoe,
peppermint,
and so much more...

bring on the holidays!

xoxo

normal...kinda-sorta...

{this photo is over a year old of our little family...but i love how you can see the love on our faces...well, other than Ellie's face...she's at that age where she's captivated by the fact that she can move those wiggly things attached to her hands called "fingers"... but on M&M's faces...oh sweet love.}

i'm feeling a little more normal now that my better half has returned from the desert of Arizona (at least for a week).
i don't know what happens to me when M travels...
for the first couple days all is hunky dory.
i'm glad to miss him and have a little break-- not in a mean way-- just in a "sometimes he drives me nuts" sorta way.
but then after those first couple of days- i get all whacked out.
my independent self goes out the window.
i forget who i am.
i become all helpless and weepy.
i start going in stores like BevMo thinking they're BigLots and i can't sleep at night..and when i do, i start having terrible nightmares of him having affairs with really hot, tall, blonde, sexy women somewhere in some Casino in Arizona (do they even have Casinos in Arizona? regardless- it's a dream). but then, i wake up, and i'm all mad at him. as if he really did something.
and then i start listening to sad, sappy love songs that make me feel all lonely and even more helpless.
so i put on movies like Pride & Prejudice to imagine my M as Mr. Darcy.

oh gosh, i'm that pathetic girl.
the one i always scoffed at. made fun of. swore i'd never in a million years be.
that's me.
sigh.

but now he's back.
and i'm back.
and i am swearing to myself that i won't be that ridiculously irrational next time he leaves.
which is on Monday.
holy cow--the thought of him leaving is already stressing me out again.
how do you wives do it who have hubby's that travel all the time? don't you hate it? i do. but i'm sure you got that from this strange rant of a post.

and so, the point of it all: i'm so thankful for Thanksgiving this week (how cliche!). i consider holidays little gifts nowadays- ones that i look forward to opening for weeks in advance to recharge my emotional batteries. i hope you can recharge yours, too.

happy thanksgiving week to you!
xoxo

an autopilot post.

i realized something strange was going on in Sacrament meeting on Sunday.
after wrestling a little with Ellie...and convincing her that the bread we brought from home was just as good as the bread in the tray, and that the drinks we had were sufficient to quench her thirst...even more sufficient, in fact, than the thimble-sized cups of water they administer...we were taking a little bit of a breather as she played with Grandma sitting on the bench with us. (side note: having a Grandma is the best in Sacrament meeting. for us + for Ellie.)

so, back to our breather..
i look over to M.
and was a little disturbed.
i shockingly whispered, "what the heck are you doing?"
he looked down at his hands that were poking and massaging the bum of Ellie's undressed baby (for some reason, Ellie refuses to keep her babies clothed. i think she is saying to us: you see, us babies are far happier naked. take a hint, M-O-M).
nervously, M chuckled.
and said, "i didn't even realize i was doing that..i swear."
and we laughed.
and he put it down.
i think he was facing a bad case of the auto-pilots.

then, yesterday, i was so excited to notice a BigLots! on the corner here. i have a couple items on my Christmas list (insert WHOA here-- Christmas shopping already??) that i thought i might find at BigLots!, but i had to get home, so i decided i'd go back out later. later came around so i grabbed my BigLots! list, my cute little baby E, and we hit the road. so we were driving along, and i was thinking about Christmas gifts, which led me to think about Christmas recipes, which led me to think of dinner recipes, which led me to think about what i was going to make for dinner. all of a sudden, i noticed the sign behind me. i'd passed it! so i went back.
i then started thinking about Gregory House. (another side note: does anyone watch House? i really love that show). so was thinking about House which led me to think about how happy i was that he had changed and how i wished that Cutty would see his new good heart soon.
dang, where am i?
where is that place?
you guessed it. i passed it again.

well, third time's the charm right?
wrong.
i was thinking about a lot of stuff that i don't even remember while entertaining Ellie and missed it all over again.

so, after three times of missing the blasted entrance, i finally got in the parking lot, parked he car, and grabbed the kid and put her on my hip. we walked towards BigLots! and opened the door.
i felt confused.

there was no random electronic section.
there was not a random toy section.
there was no random aisles or candy.
there were, however, several assortments of kitchen items.... mostly wine glasses and bottle openers.
i then noticed that this place had lots of wine.
lots and lots of wine.
and rum.
and beer.
and probably vodka.
(those are pretty much all of the alcoholic beverages i know. yes, i'm an ignorant, non-drinker-type)
i took a double-take to the sign, and finally realized it said BEVMO!   not   BIGLOTS!
crap.
autopilot, i tell you.

even later,
i pulled out from my stash a pack of peanut m&m's.
(yes i have a stash. it may or not be located in a drawer under my bed. no, M does not know about this stash. no, i do not intend on him finding out about this stash. enough said.)
i began researching coupons.
not reading blogs.
not shopping.
researching COUPONS.
(yes, my interests are becoming a little bleak).
well, 3 seconds after i opened the bag, i reached in for a few more to pop in my lil mouth and much to my dismay....

the package was empty.
what?
someone stole my m&m's!
Ellie, are you eating my m&m's?
wait..Ellie is sleeping.
M, are you eating my m&m's?
wait, he's in Arizona.

or....maybe, just maybe...
i kept poppin' them and poppin' them in my mouth, without even realizing it, until they were all gone.
which means i didn't even get to enjoy them.
because i was eating them brainlessly.
autopilot-edly.
bummer-dee-dummer-edly.

i don't really know what else to say.
other than i often find myself in auto pilot mode these days...
for no explicable reason.
it's pretty easy to live brainlessly, i guess.


oh yeah, and i really want some more peanut m&m's.

xoxo

a stew post

what's a stew post, you ask?
funny, M just asked the same thing.
here's our convo 2.5 seconds ago:

m: you bloggin?
me: mmm hmmm
m: what are you bloggin' about?
me: stew.
m: who's stew?
me: not the person...
m: the food?
me: mmm, not really the food either.
m: hmm. that's random.

and it is. kinda random. let me elaborate:

you know how stew is usually the meal you make when you don't know what else to make...and you have lots of random ingredients that would otherwise go unused so you throw them all together in one giant pot and hope the flavors fuse together ok to make something slightly tasty (whoa...longest run-on sentence ever)??

well, tonight this post is going to be like that. a stew post, if you will. because...i have lots to say...lots of random thoughts. some that go together, most that don't....so i'm just gonna throw them out there, stir 'em up real good, and hope that the flavor is slightly tasty to keep you dipping that spoon back in and slurping it up.

ingredient #1:
Ellie is big. she's a full-blown toddler now- yelling during sacrament meeting, dumping out snacks at target, laughing just because everyone else is laughing, dancing all day every day, saying tons of new words a mile a minute, and even singing "twinkle twinkle." my favorite new thing that she does is come up to me when she sees me putting some piece of clothing on, like a sweater, and she comes, fans it out, and says "cuuuuuuuttteee!" what a girly girl she is. she melts my heart.

ingredient #2:
did you know there are only 44 days till Christmas?? 44! i'm so excited to actually be THOUGHTFUL about our gift-giving this year. usually i'm so busy with school or this thing or that other thing that i don't get to be as thoughtful with the gifts i give as i would like to be. but i'm not so busy these days anymore (whoa, i'm finally coming clean). so! i've been thinking about gift-giving....and geesh. please tell me, does anyone else struggle with getting gifts for dads & hubby's as much as i do?? HELP.

ingredient #3
i've been kinda bummed out lately. you see- we just found out we aren't going to be able to move into our house until January. there are lots of frivolous details on the why's and how-comes that i won't expound upon...and i guess i've just been super bummed out because i reeeaaalllyyy wanted to decorate and set up our new place for Christmas. silly, i know. what's the big deal? it's just a couple more months of waiting. but, even though i'm bummed about it, i truly feel blessed to have M's parents, who so generously are allowing us to take over every nook and cranny of their once-clean house. i don't know what we would do without them!

ingredient #4
i'm doing the ultimate "mom" thing these days...
i'm getting into COUPONING. ahhhh. what a scary word. i actually went and bought a binder today to help me get them all organized. i'm really excited. anyway, i just had to tell you guys about this website that i've been using a ton lately. it's called hip2save.com. it is AWESOME. she is amazing- and posts all sorts of deals on her blog. she even posts how-to videos and stuff. i've found some truly amazing deals the last little bit (for example, i bought the Blue-Ray Up and Monster's Inc today for $14.00 total....thats like $7.00 a DVD!). anyway, i know that i shouldn't be so excited about cutting paper, but i am. do you have any great couponing sites you'd like to share? let me know.

ingredient #5
i am so grateful for television. i know i am super shallow to admit this, but i don't really care. i love having something fun to look forward to watching. the Office has been HILARIOUS this season- last week's episode made me laugh out loud at moments. and Glee- wow. i have the songs on repeat on my iPod. then there's SYTYCD-- i already have my faves. and my current fave: House. this has been my favorite season of House so far. i love this rennovated version of Gregory House.

ingredient #6
has anyone noticed how google has been doing sesame street icon stuff all week? i love google. they're so original. and creative. makes me wish i was more creative. and original.

ingredient #7
i just walked away from putting Ellie down for a nap. as i was walking to the door, she stood up, looked at me and said "yuv you." i cried.

ingredient #8
i finally received my teaching certificate in the mail. i cried again.

ingredient #9
Ellie goes into nursery in four Sundays. i will cry every Sunday until then...and then i will probably cry again...but those tears may or not be tears of joy. those of you with kids understand :)

ingredient #10
it's been 2 weeks since a young man in my family's neighborhood committed suicide.
2 friends of ours have recently been diagnosed with cancer.
i feel like i keep having reminders lately how invincible we may feel...yet how temporary, and precious this life is. each day is a gift. it truly is. having a healthy body is a gift. waking up to a new day is a gift. sure, crappy things happen. gas might get sprayed in your face. or you may have to move away from your family, friends, loved ones, and your home. or maybe you got in a fight with your spouse. or maybe you aren't your ideal weight. but then these more serious tragedies happen around you- and you realize- i'm being so frivolous. finding joy in today is essential- because i don't know (nordoes anyone else, for that matter) how many today's i have left...and i'm determined to leave this earthly place with joy & love in my heart. and for people to know that i was joyful and loving, too.

ingredient #11
this past weekend was Stake Conference here.
did you know that members in Northern California are lucky enough to have their stake conference on the Temple Grounds? isn't that a-maz-ing?? it was so neat to be on the Temple Grounds for a Sunday meeting like Stake Conference. nothing brings peace like the Temple.

and so, on that peaceful note, i will end my stew post.
it was a random stew.
sometimes they end up that way.
thanks for listening, and slurping up my randomicity today.
oh, and one last ingredient, for good flavor....
i love you, blogging world.


xoxo

my internal clock is outta whack.

this is the only explanation i have for the whackiness i feel at this moment.

it all started when i decided to wear white shorts today.
let's start first with the "white" part.
yes, i know you're not supposed to wear white after labor day.
but i coupled it with a purple top and a brown sweater...doesn't that make it fallish enough?
second part to address:
i was wearing SHORTS today. sounds groovy right?
well, it is. and i know i shouldn't complain about this wonderful weather i'm having. in fact, i'm not complaining about it. i love it. but i think my internal weather clock is all messed up with this perpetually-nice-weather-junk. every morning i put on some jeans and a shirt and a sweater...a very fallish combination in my opinion....only to be dripping in sweat by noon and wishing i had decided on a better clothing ensemble 4 hours earlier. my face is one giant zit from all this sweat (gross, i know). i feel all weird that the Holidays are coming because the weather hasn't even felt a glimmer of "crisp" outside. how can you eat "apple crisp cobbler" if it's not "crisp" outside? i don't want to think about eating warm apple pie in 80 degree weather.
and now with this fall back (even though it's not even fall here yet with all this 80 degree weather stuff) stuff, i'm starting my day bright and early at 4:00 am...because that's what you do when you are out of whack. you wake up even earlier than you would've before you fell back...and all of a sudden become the early bird who is not only getting the worm, but the whole worm farm.

anyway.

so my day started with some not-so-good karma as i headed out with my white shorts/brown sweater combo.....to my first stop: gas station. well, as many of you moms know, getting gas isn't just a leisurly activity anymore, where you think about your family, what you are going to get done that day, and what you think you might give Harold and Bertha for Christmas. no, no, no. it is now a multi-tasking-one-man-band event for your little tots. you see, you have to keep those kids entertained who are strapped down to the now-stopped-vehicle so that you dont' have to suffer long stares and embarrassment from other people hearing the yelps, whines, and screams of your bored child. and so, i was busy doing some entertaining when i heard the gas knozzle "click," letting me know that it was done. so i finished "wheels on the bus" gave Ellie one more "tickle" and one last "goochie goo" and went straight for the handle.

i've always been a little over-zealous.

you see, the click must have been from my neighbor's knozzle...because mine was still going...full force. SPLAASSSH. SPRRRAAAYYY. GASSSPP. (and maybe a four letter word...maybe). yeah, i got soaked in gasoline. smelly, icky, gasoline.

i mean, really, i wasn't expecting the whole "never been kissed" scenario to actually happen just because i wore some white shorts. give. me. a. break.

so, i nervously looked around to see if anyone noticed (or if anyone DIDN'T notice is more like it), and hopped into my once-clean-car....and then was almost suffocated by the intoxicating smell as i debated whether or not to go home and change...you see, getting out the door is a feat in itself...we were now out the door, almost to our destination....did i really smell that bad? oh well. it's only an hour. who cares.

so stinky-gasoline-marci takes Ellie into Target to do some post-Halloween shopping and grocery shopping. Ellie wasn't too pleased with the experience. i'm sure she was having trouble breathing with all that gasoline she was inhaling. poor thing. so i hurried as quickly as i could with some of my little red-lined treasures...and went to the cashier. by this moment, Ellie was d-o-n-e. how did i know that, you ask?
well, i think the lollipop Ellie chucked at the cashier's face, which then landed behind the cash register, was a pretty good indication of her done-ness.
to top it off: my wallet was left on the drivers seat of the car after my gasoline incident, instead of being in its designated spot in the diaper bag. "um, sir, can you suspend my order, after you wipe that stickiness off your face, while i go get my wallet, p-p-please?"

yeah. not the best string of events.

luckily, i came home, plopped the kid in her crib for a nap and some alone time,  and regained composure by gawking over the sexiness of Jude Law in the Holiday while eating a whole jar of Trader Joe's Salsa and a bag of chips all by myself (second time this month).

when Ellie woke up, i was recharged and rejuvenated (thanks Jude) and decided to make us a little comfort food for dinner: spaghetti. well, as i tried to slurp my noodles as politely as possible, i looked over at Ellie, who was not politely eating her food, but rather smashing it with her fingers, throwing it on her lap, and simultaneously inhaling it through her mouth and nose....and all with a big smile on her face.

the thought came to me then...like a pile of bricks whacking me on my outta-whack-head: i need to be more like Ellie and enjoy the mess...because sometimes, the mess is the best part.

xoxo

happppy haalloowween...

...from our Neverland to yours...

...and from the cutest little Tinkerbell ever!

xoxo

three simple confessions

{brought to you today by youtube}

1. i'm secretly ticked off at the world series tonight for delaying glee. i know, what kind of American am i? isn't baseball as American as it gets? and yes, i know Glee can be.........naughty. but it's sorta my guilty pleasure.....cuz i'm in LOVE with the music. i watch the music videos over and over again on our DVR while i'm cleaning, making dinner, or just hangin' out around the house. the day they come out with a soundtrack, i'm sold. my most favorite song lately is "somebody to love."



2. i love sesame street. i feel like i can finally consider myself a true stay-at-home mom now that i've found my inner love for this show. i guess i just love how they appeal to parents with celebrities and little parodies of shows. my most favorite one lately is "preschool musical." check it out.



3. i think i laugh the hardest when other people fall or hurt themselves. i know i should show sympathy. but i don't. maybe it's because i'm super clumsy? (let's be honest, gravity is NOT my friend). anyway, i think i've watched this grape-stomping video at least a hundred times...and i laugh harder and harder every time i hear that poor lady groan. oh man, i'm so glad that wasn't me. then again, i bet that lady is glad she didn't fall down the stairs in front of everyone in a quiet church...



more confessions to come soon...
sooner than these ones did, i promise :)

xoxo

a lot.

hi.
i'm finally blogging again. it's a multi-tasking-type-of-a-blog-post.
you see, i'm in the bathroom while Ellie busily splishes and splashes with her crazy-bath-antics and i'm making myself write something, anything, from my phone. i've wanted to write about so many things lately-- but i seem to have been in a funk of sorts. not sure the exact cause of the funkiness- but there has been a lot going on the last few weeks:
a lot of emotions.
a lot of excitement.
a lot of grumpiness (of which i will graciously spare the details).
a lot of lonely moments now that M is officially a working man.
a lot of fun moments deciding paint colors and backyard landscaping and favorite baseboards.
a lot of stressful moments making all of theses house decisions with a crazy 16 month old who firmly believes the world is her stage...and therefore acts out randomly and in the most inconvenient ways possible.
a lot of anxious moments wondering how all this house stuff will come together.



a lot of visits to see the "puntins" (pumpkins) in various locations throughout Utah and northern California.
a lot of costume planning (you know me and my Chapman-family-costume-ensembles....you just wait for our reveal this year. it's gonna be epic).
a lot of missing family and friends.
a lot of chasing a crazy child in every direction imaginable.
a lot of wishing i was better at putting myself out there to be kind and make new friends.
a lot of phone conversations to make up for my lack of friend-making-skills.
and a lot of unsolicited (and solicited) love, snuggles, hugs and kisses from Ellie (and mr. M, of course) to help me feel that what President Gordon B Hinckley once said is very true:
it will all work out.

and so i wrote a lot about a lot of nothing.
and will now promise to write something with substance tomorrow.
or maybe the next day.

xoxo

a collection of collages and letters

dear Utah,
i already miss your mountainous presence.
i don't know when i'll see you again--but you have a stamp-print on my heart.
i'm proud to say: i'm a Utahn, through and through.

dear Gardner's Village,
thank you for allowing me to be the craziest version of myself.
thank you for encouraging women to let down and release our inner-witches.
thank you for playing crazy music, having adorable shops, and good-clean-fun.
one suggestion for your suggestion box:
have a sign marking your poop-infested rivers in dark places.
i never want to unknowingly trudge through one of those again.
p.s. you owe me a new pair of shoes.
p.s.s. i can't wait to see you again next year.
p.s.s.s. thank you friends and family who came and found me at witches night out. it made the night so sweet and sugary to see you, all witched out. caaacckllleee cacccklleee.

dear discovery gateway,
thank you for letting us discover you.
ellie loved playing in your beehive.
she chased after every bouncy ball in that hive for over and hour.
and would've stayed there all day- but my attention span couldn't handle that.
thank you for having cool magnets, animation kits, a giant doll-house, a fun grocery store, a fun horse to ride, a helicopter, and baby strollers for toddlers to push all around the place. i will never have the amount of toys sufficient to make our house as cool as yours.

dear childhood house,
i apologize for carving my initials in that secret place.
i also apologize for spilling nail-polish in several visible places on your carpet.
more importantly, i wanted to thank you for watching over me as i became the person i am today.
thank you for being a good listener...but not a gossiper...about all the conversations you heard me have.
thank you for never telling my secrets from the doorstep or the love-couch.
thank you for being the place that held so many dinners, so many fights, so many prayers, so much music, and so much love.
you will always be MY house.
and i'll always remember you.

dear family,
how do i live without you?
i can't.
you'll always have a piece of me.
thanks for being so fun.
and so funny.
and such good listeners.
and laughers.
i can't wait to see you again.

dear halloween,
Ellie and I are so excited for you to come. we dress up all the time. we eat candy all the time. we talk about pumpkins all the time. we wear black and orange all the time. we dress up as witches together. we can't wait for our costumes to make their debuts. thanks for being so festive and fun.

dear cute, new, humble house,
please hurry up and get ready for us to move in. i can't wait to see you. and love you. and make you our first home.

xoxoxo,
Marci

cackle cackle

remember this from last year??

well, my friends.
the time has come once again to get your witch on!
i love witches night out at Gardner Village.
and you should too.

so!

drop your plans tonight--
grab a sitter (or tell your hubby he's on duty for once)...
drag along your favorite estrogen-filled witch(es)..
and come enjoy the cackling, the broomsticking, the dancing, the cauldrons, and the inevitable crazy fun!
i'd love to see all of you, my favorite people, celebrating your inner witch.
because let's be honest-- it's in all of us, waiting to be unleashed and discovered.

hope to see you there,
and your little dog too!!!
(there had to be at least one witch cliche in this post..)

p.s. only X chromosomes allowed.
just thought i should mention that.

p.s.s. let me know if/when you are going....so that i can look for you. i'm serious. it would make my day to see you!

xoxo

puntins.

i'm alive.
and very well, thank you.
because i love october.
do you love october as much as i love october?
i love the smells.
the coolness.
the perpetual birthday celebrations that go on in our crazy family.
witches (and witches night out!).
pumpkins.
cute leggings.
the colors.
the sky.
fall.

i'm also very well because i'm home...enjoying all my favorite october things...and much, much more, including (but not limited to):

 enjoying the freezing cold utah air.
(yes, i'm already a california weather wimp).
enduring yucky colds.
eating yummy food.
laughing lots of laughs.
shopping lots and lots.
talking till our voice-boxes are mute and our ears are fried.
drinking a jamba a day.
saying more goodbyes.
wiping lots of tears (and snotty noses).
and lovin' all the "puntins" (ellie's cute way of saying "pumpkins").

feels oh-so-good to be home,
one. last. time.

xoxo

i'm sick.

homesick that is.
i love conference- but man, it made me miss home like something fierce this time around.
i wanted to wrap my arms around those big utah mountains.
i wanted to reach up to the sky and feel the storm that everyone was facebook-status-updating about every five seconds.
i wanted to be cozy by the fire.
i missed home.
and not just my utah home.
but my heavenly home.
my heavenly home that is full of love- the kind of love that so many of those brilliant spiritual men talked about. the kind of love that helps me see good in everyone around me. the kind of love that helps me be more expressive about it. the kind of love that helps me serve others without wanting anything in return. the kind of love that makes me forget about myself and my insignificant problems. the kind of love that is Godly love.
homesick, i tell you.
homesick.

i've had the following song on replay for the last few hours.
it's my fave.
for lots and lots of reasons.
some heavenly.
some earthly.
maybe i'll tell you those reasons someday.
just maybe.



listening to sappy love songs about rainbows and dreams is what we girls do when our hubby's are out of town and missing their moms. and dads. and brother(s). and sister(s). and dog lucy. and aunts. and uncles. and friends. am i right? or am i right?

lucky for me, i get to wrap my arms around those utah mountains....
tomorrow!!

i'm comin' home (michael buble style)!
i'm comin' home to snatch the doorknob from my bedroom that i told you about a while back...and to say goodbye to my house. i'm comin' home to celebrate our birthdays (my mom's, my sister-in-law's, and mine). i'm comin' home to go to witches night out. i'm comin' home to shop. i'm comin' home to eat. i'm comin' home to fill up my crazy cuban canteen.
because while i'm so happy here and love it...
i'm a mama's girl.
and a mama's girl needs her mama.
and a mama needs her mama's girl.
(and i need my dad and sisters and brother too, but you know what i mean).

point to this random ranting:
there may be a slight blogging hiatus.
or a large one.
depends on how much fun i'm having... :)

xoxo

an early b-day celebration in my new favorite city

i think M was feelin' bad a couple months ago when he realized that he'd be outta town for my birthday for a work training. if i'm being onest, i wanted to put him in the dog house....though i realize it is the first of many things he'll probably be missing in our lifetime together.

but ladies and gentlemen, he's outta the dog house with this wonderful San Francisco outing he planned for us last night. check this out....
on the itinerary:

• g+g chapman get Ellie for the afternoon (so we'd be baby free!) (thanks g+g!!)
  

• a ride on the train (bart) into San Francisco

• the final Giants game of the season ( i ♥ baseball games...you can't get more American than that..unless you add peanuts and hot dogs, that is)

• a walk exploring and shopping in the city (discovering Union Square and Market Street)

• an early dinner at Osha, a very yummy Thai restaurant

• a frantic run trying to find Ghirardelli square...only to realize my iPhone directed us to a Ghirardelli shop instead of the square..........which led us to riding the bus (aka the Muni) all around town until we finally found it and had the moooosssttt delicious butterscotch, caramel, hot fudge sundae EVER (which i most definitely paid for later-- i'm lactose intolerant, remember?)

• a taxi ride with a classic cabbie to take us to our final GRAND destination...........

• the grand finale:

             front-row balcony seats to see Wicked in Orpheum theater (which was uh--maz-ing! even more amazing than i had remembered it being when i saw it 5 years ago).

it just doesn't get better than a date in a city, eating sunflower seeds while watching homeruns go into the bay, eating yummy food, slurping a delicious sundae, and seeing a fun show...all with the company man of my dreams. thanks my Mr. for a perfectly splendid day in my new favorite city. i could get used to this "two weeks of birthday celebrations" thang.

xoxo

p.s. am i convincing any of you to come and visit me yet???
yes, i still need friends.
i'm told it takes time.
but i never was the patient type :)

getting reacquainted

i think i may need to reintroduce you to this little person:

meet Elizabeth.

we call her Ellie around here.

you see, with all of this house hunting (which ended TODAY!...yes, we bought a house...details coming soon), moving, site-seeing, stressing, relaxing, and playing, i've neglected updating you on my little Ellie's life the last few weeks.

well, let me get you two reacquainted...because my blog is a lot cooler with her in it.

Ellie is a long + lean 15 month old, who looovvvves elmo. she kisses elmo. she hugs elmo. she lets elmo have some of her drink. she loves watching elmo on the big t.v. she loves to dance when elmo sings. elmo is her one and only true love.

Ellie also loves making animal sounds. she would look at pictures of animals all day long, telling you every animal sound to go along with it. i found this iPhone app that allows her to push on the animal and it makes the sound. it's cute for the first 20 seconds...but you see, she wants to do it for like 20 hours straight. she'll see my phone and say "anmal" for animal...meaning, "mom, pull out the animal sounds now, wouldya?" sometimes, i do...and then i fall asleep because there's only so much a mama can take.

Ellie also loves real life animals. as soon as we go outside, she says "tat" (for cat) and looks everywhere for the kitty named Twinkle that lives here. the thing is, Twinkle is kinda mean. she doesn't really like to be petted or touched for that matter. but Ellie chases her anyway, and incessantly tries to give her kisses.

Ellie loves to eat gogurt more than anything else. she'd eat a gogurt every 10 minutes if i'd let her. she also loves cheese and crackers...still loves to chomp on edamame, peaches, corn, and goldfish crackers...and drinks about a gallon of apple juice each day. we are convinced her little belly is full apple juice.

Ellie has turned into a little monkey...climbing all over everything and getting into anything and everything in sight. her latest favorite places to climb into or onto include: the kitchen table, one of the fancy chairs in g+g's fancy room, the stairs (which i hate), and the kitchen cabinet. she's such a cute little squirt, she can squeeze her little diaper bum all the way into this little teenie cupboard. it's pretty cute...for like 5 seconds until she realizes she's stuck and slightly claustrophobic. funny monkey ellie.

Ellie surprises me with how girly she is. she loves to wear her necklaces, loves putting on sunglasses, loves holding my lipglosses, and loves shoes. we were at a really cute lil jewelry store today that also had shoes.....and of course, she starts pulling out all these sexy heels and tries to put them on her feet. how does she know this stuff so young?

(the pic's below were taken on our shopping trip today with my phone...sorry about the poor quality, but i thought they were too cute not to share).

Ellie loves books. but you already knew that. she most recently loves elmo books. but you probably could've guessed that too.

Ellie most recently likes to color and draw. i love how she can just scribble her heart out on my phone. i love how i can then save them...i've always been excited to hang my kids' art work on my fridge. i guess for now, my blog is my pseudo-fridge for ellie's artwork:

Ellie is a petite little thing...just yesterday, she graduated from a size 3 diaper to a size 4....she'd been in a 3 since she was 6 months! crazy thing. i'm in love with her cute lil shape...which is not so much a baby shape anymore...but a toddling little girl shape. still, she's got her little curves...like right above the knees....ooo i just love to tickle and squeeze those knees....and still wanna bbq her and eat her up. mmmmm delicious.

After a full day, Ellie needs her beauty sleep....a beautiful 12 hours of sleep. you see, while she is extra fun, extra sweet, and extra adorable...she also is extra exhausting. i never knew what it would be like to chase a little person around all day. i guess it's way better than i imagined it would be...but also way more tiring. so around 8 pm every night, she conks out like a light bulb....and i do too.

if you haven't met lil Ellie, you need to. she's feisty, funny, cute, smart, curious, lovely, and spunky.

basically, she's your typical toddler :)

a typical toddler who is very, very loved by her mama and dada.

 

xoxo

things with alotta hype

oh hi,
it's me.

i'd like to introduce you to my new addiction:

meet dorothy (the newest way to lose my brain, become lost to the real world, and any interaction with humans...and still be completely a.o.k. because she is just that cool):

{and yes, i'm also addicted to playing with the photobooth feature on my computer. sorry about that}

and so it was that i caved into the technology hoopala and hype.
i got an iPhone (happy early birthday to me!)...and i named her Dorothy.

quite frankly, i don't get what all you haters are talking about.
this thing is a-mazing.
incredible.
incredibly addicting.
and just plain cool.

and i secretly want to disappear and play with it all day long.

and sometimes i do.

so what apps can't i live without? i know i've asked this here once and on facebook...so i'm sorry if my multiple questioning is getting annoying...but i'd really like to know. i want to get the most out of this 4 inch machine.

one that someone recommended to me is Twitter. now, i have a twitter account. but i don't really get what the hype is about twitter. i don't really get how it would be useful to me. like, why would i want to know what ryan seacrest is doing or where he is? i mean, he's cool and all, and i'm the first to admit and confess that american idol is one of my favorite shows...but do i really want to know what he's eating for dinner?
enlighten me on this twitter fad, please.

while i'm on the subject of hyping things up, there's been alotta hype about trader joe's. i've been in trader joe's once like a bazillion years ago...and don't remember anything about it. i mean, it kinda sounds like a souped up cow-boy gear store that also has fishing poles, saran wrap, and mustard. people keep telling me, "you're so lucky to live close to a trader joe's. i love that place." but then they scurry off and forget to tell me what's so great about it. so, tell me about this trader joe's phenomenon. what makes it so darn special? what's all the hype??

and now, i'd like to make a whole lotta hype about his gal: Dari, who has an Etsy headband shop here. she just held a giveaway on her blog...and i guess what goes around comes around because yours truly WON! i never win anything (i know, i know, how cliche) so i feel very, extremely, hyped-up-excited. i love all of her adorable lil headbands. i'm deciding between this one:

this one:

and this one:

i need help choosing.
what are your thoughts?
i'm leaning towards the first one...
or maybe one of the others listed in her shop here...
i stink at committing to choosing consumer products..unless it's the iPhone.

and we've come full circle.

soooo, i think i've shared enough hype with you for one day

i look forward to your knowledge and wisdom, as always.

xoxo

the walnut festival

went to the walnut festival this weekend.

been hearing about it for quite some time now. basically, it's a really cute (and outrageously expensive) carnival that makes its way to walnut creek, ca every september, every year. people around here pride themselves on the walnut festival.

i'm not gonna lie: i was expecting walnuts. you know- walnut tasting, maybe some walnut syrups, walnut cupcakes, walnut cookies. but as luck would have it: there weren't any walnuts at the walnut festival. not a single one. just carni's (a term i just learned this weekend), cotton candy, carousels, balloons, and expensive games for cheap prizes.

oh, and don't you forget the fun.
the festival was lots and lots of fun!

ellie especially loved the red balloon she got for free at one of the booths.
i guess we could've just gotten a red balloon at the nearby drug-store.
but that wouldn't have given us half as cute of pictures.
and, i'm obsessed with cute pictures.
but you already knew that :)

hope you're enjoying your weekend!

xoxo

giftcard giveaway winners

i've been so excited to announce my winners for my giveaway, i can hardly stand it.
i have to give you a "thumbs up" (hence the picture) for all of your awesome comments and for choosing to follow me! you're the best.
my one regret is that i can't give something to all of you, my readers, my followers, my friends.
if i had my own show (like ellen's or oprah's) called "marci" i would have all of you be my live studio audience- and i'd give you all giftcards, dvd's, cd's, and make-up. yes, lots and lots of make-up.
but unfortunately i don't have my own show.
and so winners had to be picked.
thank goodness for random.org-
so that i didn't have to be the picker. (picking is so un-lady like, anyway).

drumroll please:
announcing my giftcard giveaway winners!!!

1. Nat
2. Lovers
3. Jons and Celeste Leigh
4. Amy
5. Kade & Jess
6. Tiffany Johnson
7. Amber
8. Andi and Scott
9. Anne
10. Lisa Johnson
11. Hilary
12. Lovers
13. Anne
14. Mat and Brooke
15. Lea Tame
16. Michelle
17. Candace
18. Nat
19. Joni and Rico Adams
20. Under the Oaks
21. Rachel
22. Amy
23. Kade & Jess
24. The Oldham's
25. Miss Morgan
26. Andi and Scott
27. Mat and Brooke
28. Jaci
29. Jenna
30. Amy
31. Stephanie
32. Jaci
33. Heidi
34. The Oldham's
35. Kade & Jess
36. Rachel
37. Andi and Scott
38. Hilary
39. Jenni
40. Elysia
41. Amber
42. Heidi
43. The Peterson's
44. Jaci
45. Stephanie
46. Ju and Brack
47. Clay and Jenna
48. Elysia
49. Danielle
50. The Oldham's
51. Ed and Kelli
52. Under the Oaks
53. The Peterson's
54. Lali Johnson
55. Clay and Jenna
56. Kristi
57. Ju and Brack
58. Lali Johnson
59. Tiffany Johnson
60. Miss Morgan
61. Stephanie
62. Lovers
63. Jen
64. Miss Morgan
65. Jen
66. Nat
67. Amber
68. Tiffany Johnson
69. Jons and Celeste Leigh
70. Becca
71. Jarom and Amber
72. Mat and Brooke
73. Clay and Jenna
74. Jons and Celeste Leigh
75. Michelle
76. Rachel
77. Ed and Kelli
78. Becca
79. Danielle
80. Linda
81. Anne
82. Lisa Johnson
83. Candace
84. Lisa Johnson
85. Ed and Kelli
86. Danielle
87. Lali Johnson
88. Lea Tame
89. Jenni
90. Jarom and Amber
91. Alesa
92. Jen
93. Hilary
94. Becca
95. Ju and Brack
96. Joni and Rico Adams
97. Elysia
98. Under the Oaks
99. Jarom and Amber
100. Jenni
101. Joni and Rico Adams
102. Alesa

i wanted to show you the whole list so that you would know that ALL of your comments were accounted for, and that it was completely random!
so, this means that Nat- you are the winner of the Coldstone Giftcard
Lovers, you are the winner of the Barnes & Noble Giftcard
and Jons & Celeste Leigh- you are the winner of the Nordstrom giftcard!

i will be emailing you all today- and would appreciate it if you got back to me by Sunday with your address so i can mail you your goods. if you don't get back to me before then, i will announce an alternate winner.

to everyone else, i love you.
does that make you feel uncomfortable and awkward to hear those three words from me?
well, sorry if it does.
but i do.
i love you, my little blogging world.

i promise to do another giveaway soon. i love giveaways. and i always want to win one myself.
if you have some stuff you'd like me to giveaway (tee hee) let me know...i'd be happy to take it off your hands. :) if not, no worries- i have some ideas up my sleeve. get excited.

again, thanks for reading. sending you all a kiss hug kiss hug!

xoxo

thursday thinkings and thoughts

{me with my thinking cap on}

yes, i'd like to introduce yet another segment on my blog.
you see, i have lots of thoughts and thinkings.
some things are things i may need advice on. because i know we all have expertise and opinions on differing things. and i'd like to get some of that expertise. so i'm gonna ask for it.
some things are just things that i wonder, am i the only one who has ever thunk this? (for example: do you ever want to say thunk instead of thought? i like the word thunk so much...even though it's not even a real word).
and other things...are just thinkings and thoughts that have no rhyme or reason.
i'd like to share some of these thinkings and thoughts with you.

i've been thinking a lot about my lil monkey ellie. you see, she's growing at an exponential rate- and learning even faster. i think about her all the time...and i know i scrutinize every little teensie weensie thing that she does or doesn't do. i try not to. but i do. one thing i worry about is the way she interacts with other kids. usually, they'll approach her- and she'll wack them in the face like "can't you see my bubble? you're intruding. popping the bubble. step away." which leads me to another worry: she wacks people, including me, when she's mad. i wouldn't be so shocked by it if it wasn't in context the way it usually is.
for example:
"ellie, we can't watch elmo right now."
WACK across the face.
"ellie, it's time to get out of the bath."
hysterical WACKS flying in the air to not get out of the tub.
and don't even get me started on the tantrums...yes, rolling on the floor. whimpering. whining when she doesn't get something she wants.
i thought these things weren't supposed to start till they were two? am i justified in worrying? or am i being over-protective, paranoid, and annoying?

i've also been thinking about how much i want to be casted on "what not to wear" or "how do i look" or some other TLC show like that so that i can feel justified in getting rid of all of my teen-bopper clothing in exchange for a stunning new wardrobe. i think about wanting new clothes more than any girl should. maybe you could vote me on one of those shows? or maybe you could just buy me a new wardrobe and save myself (and you for knowing me) some embarrassment. i'm fine with either.

i think about the utah mountains a lot. i'm imagining them all covered in fall right this minute. i'm imagining the crisp apple air. you see, it's not fall here yet. (don't let the whole "first day of fall thing" confuse you). it's still like a bazillion degrees (despite the coldness we found ourselves shivering in at the beach yesterday) and so, i miss fall, my favorite season, and i am aching to see a red or orange leaf somewhere. instead, there are dead mustard hills which i'm told look lovely when they're green. funny the things you miss when you don't have them around anymore.

i've been thinking about the following comment a lot recently, since i've received it multiple times:
"wow, your hair is so long."
is this a compliment? or? what if it is followed up with the following comment:
"i could never in a million years keep my hair that long."
maybe i'm overanalyzing this question (i know, what a SHOCKER, that i would overanalyze something)-- but do you think there is a subtle (or not-so-subtle) hint in there saying something like, "look lady, your locks are looking a little straggly and mangy...you could really use a cut)?

i think i might want an i-phone for my birthday. am i thinking i want one just because it's the trendy thing to do? do you have one? maybe you could sell me on it. what are your favorite apps? or what makes this worth...or a waste of my money??

i think about getting a deal a lot. i mean who doesn't love getting a good deal?? i have some sites i've recently found and am wondering-- do you have any sites you could share with me that would help me get a deal? with coupon codes, etc??

i think i'm really excited about my giveaway, which ends tonight! don't forget to enter here. i think i want to keep the giftcards for myself! but i think i'd better not, since i already promised them to you.

and i think...i think that's enough thinkings and thoughts for one day.

xoxo

ellie sees the beach for the first time

in my mind, i thought it would include sandcastles, swim-suits, warm sand, and maybe even a sunburn.

in reality, it included fog, wind, sweatshirts (though i forgot ellie's so she got to wear mine...a hilarious sight all on its own) and sand in all the wrong places.

funny how life does that, huh? lets our brains make something out to be waaay different than it really is.

but even though the reality resembled nothing that my mind had imagined, it was an incredibly fun and memorable day...and i wouldn't have changed it. not one bit.

we just hope for ellie's sake (since she insists upon going in the icy water) that next time the sun doesn't decide to hibernate as soon as we get there.

needless to say:
we love the beach.
and we can't wait to go back for more!

oh yes, and don't forget...THURSDAY is the LAST DAY to enter my giveaway. for more deets, go here.
xoxo

sweet assurance

sharing things of a spiritual nature, things that pertain to the soul, can sometimes be...uncomfortable.
like putting on an itchy wool sweater on your bare lil skin.
or like walking up and talking to somebody that you don't know in a new setting...and in a big group (a situation i am finding myself in often these days).

i was talking to my mom about this years ago, and she explained something to me that completely made sense. she said,
"spirituality is initmacy. that's why some people are apprehensive to share spiritual things with just anybody. spiritual matters are intimate."

i've thought about that a lot in my life.
and i've come to realize that it's true.
the people i'm closest with, that know my true self, know my spiritual self. and it's easy to be spiritually intimate.
people i don't know so much....it isn't as easy.

this last weekend, i was privileged enough to attend a women's conference out here in Nor Cal called "Time Out For Women." i had never been before... in fact, i had never heard of such a thing. as far as i was concerned, it was a place where all the naughty moms went to get the justice they deserved for putting their naughty toddlers in time out.

luckily i was wrong.

it was a spiritual feast. a feast to fill my starving soul....and to be honest, i didn't even realize that i was hungry. life does that sometimes. gets your soul all depleated of energy and nutrients...without you even knowing it.

well, i've been trying to figure out a way to convey the immense power and rejuvenation i felt from this conference to you... and i've had a hard time getting my feelings out.

and i think that it's maybe because of what i told you before...that spirituality is intimacy. and i haven't really figured out a way to be intimately spiritual on my public lil blog without being preachy, dramatic, and (my least favorite) insincere.

however.

i keep feeling impressed to share some of my feelings.

::hot tears trickle down face::

because there are simply things that i can't stop feeling. things i can't not remember. and things i can't not share.

so.

here i go.
we arrived to the meeting.
i felt hopeful that i would be uplifted.
i knew that i'd probably feel the spirit.
but.
i was worried the meeting might feel a little...long. after all, it was scheduled from 6:30 to 9:30...three hours. on a friday night. whoa.
still, i was feelin' pretty optimistic.
you see i was there with my mother-in-law and some cute ladies from my new ward.
we were staying in a cute, fancy shmancy hotel that night.
there were lots of delicious treats we had brought...including homemade snickers (a recipe i definitely need to share. positively divine, sinful, and delicious in every way. remind me!)
so i knew regardless it would be a fun night.

well, sister Wendy Watson Nelson, Elder Nelson's new wife, spoke first.
and almost the first thing she said (next to a couple of jokes and a brief introduction) was this:
"what's the one question you need answered tonight?"
she then explained that someone many years ago advised her to always go to General Conference or another spiritual meeting with a question. He promised her that she would get an answer to that question every single time. so she did.
and yes.
it worked.
{of course}.
she then gave the following admonition:
"do the same. think of a question that is weighing your mind down tonight. write it down.
if you can't think of one tonight, take my thirty day experiment. take a question, one question that you need answered, with you to the scriptures each day. they will tell you all things what ye should do."

this hit me.
it worked for Wendy Watson Nelson.
it had worked for me before.
so maybe i should write down a question.

i thought really hard about my life.
i thought about what things may be weighing me down.
one stood out above all.

"where does the Lord want me and my family right now?"

a little background: hubby M and i have been looking for weeks and weeks for a place to call our own. we found this beautiful house just down the street. oh yeah, but it was like 2 million dollars.
yeah, everything here is mega expensive.
or mega ghetto.
or mega-not-what-we're-looking-for-in-some-way.
ugh.
so we've been a bit discouraged.
and i've been wondering,
"does our house even exist?"
"will i ever get to sit on my beautiful black chair or use my lovely aprons again?"
"am i going to be a moochy-daughter-in-law for the rest of my life?"
"where the heck are we supposed to be??"
so you can understand the importance of the answer to this question to me.

fast forward a couple of hours, a bathroom break, some fantastic violin playing, and onto Sister Sheri Dew's talk.
she is an amazing person.
but more than that, she is one of my favorite things: REAL.
well, at one point of her talk, somewhere near the end portion, she randomly said:

"i feel impressed to tell you something. search the scriptures D&C 138 & Abraham 3. read about the noble and great ones. then get on your knees and ask our Heavenly Father if the noble and great ones refer to you. a little hint: it does. we are here now because we are supposed to be here now. you are here now because you are supposed to be here now. for reasons we don't undersatnd, we have been chosen to be here now. do not doubt where you are, for you are where you should be."

i looked around the room.
"is anyone else squirming in their seat right now?," i thought.
i wanted to stand up and say,
"hey, Sheri, did you read what i wrote on my paper?
are you cheating?
how did you know i had asked about where me + hubby should be right now?"
but i knew better than to do something silly and embarrassing like that.
i knew she didn't cheat.
i knew that Heavenly Father was doing just what Wendy Watson Nelson said He would do: answering my question.

the place me + hubby M are supposed to be right now is: right here.
i don't know why.
i don't know for how long.
but i do know without a shadow of a doubt:
we are where we are supposed to be.

it was such a peaceful moment for me.
it was yet another moment that i felt humbled that Heavenly Father is aware of me. and my little, but large (in my eyes) needs.
it was yet another moment that i was strenghtened in the truths that i know.
the most important being:

i know there is a Heavenly Father.
a greater being.
a God.
and i know i am a daughter of that Heavenly Father.
and i know that He can, and does, speak to me.
and most importantly,
i know that He knows and loves me.

the theme of the conference was "Sweet Assurance: the certainty that comes when you know life's truths." there were many other amazing moments of this conference. i wish i could share all of them with you. but instead, i just chose a little snippit...one that i just had to share, maybe selfishly (so that i won't forget), to say that i do receive sweet assurance when i remember life's truths.

and so, i have now become spiritually intimate with all of you.
i've shared a little piece of my soul.
please don't go smash that little piece of soul in someone's face like a piece of banana cream pie.
that just wouldn't be nice.

::sheepish lil grin::

xoxo

*oh yes, and don't forget to enter my giveaway here! you have till Thursday at 12:00 am PST to enter! xoxo*

my way of saying THANKS.

ok.

this may seem a tad-bit unoriginal.
but i kept racking and racking my brain for what i would want if i won a giveaway.
would i want someone else's favorite book?
or CD?
or their favorite lip gloss?
or an elmo dvd??

well.
let's be honest.
we'd all happily take anything that is free.
suddenly, when it's free, it has so much more appeal than when it wasn't free.
but--
i reeeaaallyy wanted to thank YOU.

{you can be defined any or all of the following:

my followers.

my readers.

my internet bff's.

my blogging peeps.}

so, my brain told me that the best way to appeal to the differing interests of all of YOU would be to get a couple of giftcards from some of my favorite places so that YOU can pick some things that YOU would like.

so, without further adieu, i present:

my fabulous friday giftcard giveaway extravaganza

one $10 giftcard to Cold Stone (because i am a lactose-intolerant ice-cream-aholic who has tried to replace my salivation for ice cream with frozen yogurt as often as possible but desperately desires nothing more than a scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream every day of my existence).

one $10 giftcard to Barnes & Noble (because all i want to do these days is lock myself in my room and read the minutes, hours, and days away).

and last but not least:

one $10 giftcard to Nordstrom (this is my mecca....where i could drop thousands on anything from make-up to jewelry to my personal favorite: shoes).

i hope you're as excited about this giveaway as i am!

how to enter?
for one entry*: leave a comment with your name and email address.
for a second entry*: become a follower! then leave a comment with your name, email address, and let me know that you're following me.
for a third entry*: leave a comment with your name, email address, and tell me: what's your favorite thing to do on a friday night??


*note* please leave SEPARATE comments for multiple entries. thanks!

the fine print:
there will be three winners: one for each giftcard.
these winners will be selected by random.org
you have until Thursday September 24 at 12:00am PST to enter.
the winners will be announced Friday September 25th!

good luck-
happy commenting,
and, again,
thanks for reading!

xoxo

why can't i keep some electronic device working for longer than two seconds?

i broke my second computer in four months.
ahem.
let's clarify:
ellie broke my second computer in four months.
ahem.
let me clarify once again:
i let ellie touch my computer, who then came and whacked my screen all the way to a flat position...when it should lock in place, thus ripping the screws out of the bottom and disconnecting my keyboard from my computer screen.

i sent it in today to get fixed.

i'm not totally convinced that mailing a computer to some random individual in wisconsin is going to repair my computer issues without incurring a few more problems on it's shipping voyage. i mean, really. it just doesn't seem too logical.

but anyway.

i'm feeling a little...lost...without my lil computer world right by my side at any given moment in the day. in fact, i just sneaked off right after dinner to "put ellie to bed" (takes five minutes) and am now using hubby M's computer while he doesn't need it..i feel like the young teenager i once was who only got a limited amount of internet time...and so i would sneak down after everyone would be asleep and dial-up that 50 lb beast so that i could chat to my cool friends just a little longer. i'm starting to realize, my computer/internet addiction may be more severe than i thought.

and so i may just have to get to know all the nearby internet cafes, their best drinks, and nearby libraries for the next the next two weeks while it gets fixed.
 you heard me.
two weeks.

send your good technology karma my way.
because i need it.
boy do i need it.

xoxo

our new city

 fish 'n chips, seals that resemble old men loafing around, ice cream cones, quaint shops, big red bridges, one small (but painfully embarrassing) tantrum, beautiful coastlines, charming streets, and lots of salty sweetness = our most perfect trip today into San Francisco.

we ♥ our new city.

and i think you should ♥ our new city too.
come visit us (me) sometime.

xoxo

since the for-sale sign is up...

and since my mom left a comment on my blog mentioning it...
i think now i'm probably safe to say it.

my parents are moving.

when?
where?
why?
my thoughts?

let me address these questions in a sequential order.

when:
Nov. 1st...though my dad is already traveling there and working there a lot.

where is there:
Orange County, CA

why:
they feel like its the right thing to do.
and some big hauncho at KPMG asked them to.

my thoughts:
aside from wanting to lock myself in my room while listening to some really sad song that reminds me of building snowmen or a high school doorstep scene or all the birthdays and christmases we (my family) shared in that house...i'm ok.

but let me ask this: why is it that we become so attached to something like a house?
why is it that you want to take off a door-knob and a leaf from the backyard for safe-keeping? are there really memories locked in that doorknob and leaf?

i don't really know.

but one thing is for sure:
i will always be a Fairfield Falcon.
i will always have been a member of the Summerhaze Ward.
i will always be Sister Coombs' piano student.
i will always be a Davis Dart (and a true dart at that *wink wink*)
i will always love Jake's Over the Top's milkshakes (mmm, love the grasshopper one).
i will always think of the Country Road as our road...where we took many walks, ran many runs, and talked many talks.
i will always think of those big warm mountains as my mountains.
and i will always look on my childhood at 193 South with the fondest, sweetest memories.

can you believe the Hartleys won't be in Utah anymore?
i can't.

i really can't.

xoxo

my current read

there are few books that capture me the way this one has.
(so much that it deserves its own post).

it's like a new warm sheet that tangles itself all over you...and you can't find your way out...and you secretly don't want to.
it's like drinking the first sip of a diet-coke...that is all carbonation-y, and it makes your eyes water...but you know how good it is so you keep drinking and drinking and drinking until you only have one sip left...and you gulp that sip, and are so sad that it's gone.
it's like an ice-cream cone in july...that starts dripping down your arm, and onto your foot...and you can't keep up with it or lick it fast enough because it is drizzling away so quickly.

it captures you. when you least expect it. and it doesn't let you go. 

and once it's captured you,
be prepared.
you'll cry.
you'll want to stop reading.
but you won't be able to.
and you'll cry some more.
and you'll be provoked to be better.
and you won't be the same.
and you won't want to be the same.

buy it.

if you don't, maybe you'll win it in my giveaway (did you notice my followers are to 50?? that happened much quicker than expected....you guys are so cool. COMING SOON: giveaway details {ooo la la}).

oh, and a word of caution: when you start reading it, be sure to have a box of tissues at hand.
maybe two boxes.

ok, to be safe, buy three.

xoxo

it's this smile...

that makes each

and every day...

a good one.

do you have a smile that makes your day good?

if not, maybe yours will make someone else's good.

and that's good too.

reealllllyyy good.

good.

xoxo

editor's picks: volume I

since i'm the editor in chief of this blog, i decided it was about time for me to organize a new column: editor's picks.

maybe for my sake.
maybe for your sake.
maybe just for venting's sake.

but for whoever's sake, i'm going to selfishly divulge a few of my favorite things as often as i want. because it's a sunday afternoon, and this is my blog. and i can do that sort of thing.

{and, when my followers list gets to 50, i will randomly select items from my favorites lists to be in my goodie bag. because i'm just that nice. want to know more? click here. want to become a follower? click over there -----> want to know why? because it's the cool thing to do}

1. austenland

light read. cute read. read it a month ago and i'm still thinking about it. makes you wish you would find yourself walking and talking like elizabeth bennet did. and makes you feel like that silly, romantically motivated girl that you know is deep down inside all of us women. (bonus: there is a modern mr. darcy involved. now we're talking, huh?)

2. edamame

i talk about edamame a lot. it looks a lot like peas in a pod. but tastes way better (especially if you coat it in kosher salt like we do). and let me tell you, it's a life-saver. i feel like i'm tastily and healthily tricking ellie into eating a protein/veggie-like substance. ellie loves it, i love it, mike loves it. and costco sells it in a huge bag of 12 individually wrapped packages for less than seven bucks. totally worth it if you ask me.

3. john frieda's "root awakening" shampoo and conditioner

now, these are a little more expensive than your suave or pantene-pro-v products....but well worth it. my hair is soft, shiny, and not-so-frizzy. and a bonus: your scalp tingles a little when you use it. oooo. love it. my mom recommended it to me....and as most of her recommendations, it did not disappoint. i alternate this product with Aveda products...(Aveda is super expensive...and is a favorite for another day) and am lovin' the results. give one, or both, a try.

4. elmo

i'm lovin' this alternative to baby einstein. i just can't help feeling robbed when i think that i willingly paid 15 bucks for a 30 minute dvd... multiple times. but ellie loved it, and i can't say i wasn't grateful for the several 30 minute chunks of freedom it gave me for the first year of ellie's life. but i feel THRILLED to have graduated to such a cute, educational, adorable segment such as sesame street. i love that its a non-profit, too! which means, for 10 bucks, i get 60 minutes of cuteness, and i know its proceeds are going straight back into sesame street or helping out under-privileged kids (instead of going into some lady's pocket that i don't know). yes, zoe can drive me crazy...and big bird can be a bit femmy, but i love that little red monster to death. and i'm thinkin' you should too.

5. hoop earrings

now this may seem like a weird one. but i didn't really jump on the "large hoop earring" bandwagon until about.....a year ago. and now, they're all i wanna wear. they dress up any t-shirt + jeans combo....make you feel flirty and young....and distract attention from that frumpy hair-do or smeared make-up (often the results of being a mama). no, they don't have to be as big as your face. and no, they shouldn't be smaller than your ear. try 'em. you'll love 'em too.(and let's be honest here: as much as i love the anthro option, my wallet (and mike's, too) would much prefer forever21's prices. just sayin').

{forever21.com:  $5.80}

{anthropologie.com: $48}

6. hearts

while i'm on the jewelry thing: i thought i'd add this one. now, hearts are sort of a family thing...but i love them. maybe it's because of my maiden name...or maybe its because i still have that little girl in my that loves to romanticize about carving me & the mr.'s initials in a big oak tree with a heart around it. one can't be sure. but one thing is for sure: i love hearts. i own several necklaces with hearts on them, and love the simple femininity they add to any outfit. for your info: an inexpensive find...and a not-so-expensive find (though more expensive than inexpensive...if that makes sense).

{forever21.com: $6.80}

 

 {anthropologie.com: $24}

7. chanel lip gloss

 

{chanel.com $27}

there are few make-up items that i spend more than $5 bucks at the grocery store. my lip gloss is one of them. yes, it's $27 bucks. you heard me. TWENTY SEVEN. but i love it. it doesn't fall off your lips like other ones do. and it doesn't run out in 5 minutes (even though i have a hard time not wanting to put it on every single day which makes it go a little quicker than normal). and it has shimmer and sparkle. i absolutely love this lip gloss...and will keep on buyin' it 'till M tells me its either the diapers or the gloss. and then, i may still have to think twice about it....

hope you enjoyed this weeks' editor's picks!
next week, i'll feature my cheaper picks...since these all seem to be on the pricey side...
maybe i'm just lusting after what i want but really can't have right now??
one can't be sure.

xoxo

as close to admitting i like football as possible.

beer commercials.
men dressed in poofy costumes that chase after each other and some oddly shaped ball.
fanatical fans, half naked, fully painted, and emotionally charged watching these poofily-dressed-men.
e.s.p.n. anchors to analyze it all.

football is back.

which means my husband is in football hibernation mode (definition: he will secure his little body on the same spot on the couch every single Th-S (that's just college games)) to be sure NOT to miss a single minute of any obscure team of poofy costume dudes). maybe he'll move to pee. or eat a low-maintenance meal such as a hot dog (ick). other than that, he is glued. feet kicked up. phone at hand (to text his buddies/brothers/dad about the cool play he just saw).

what does this mean for me? well, for starters: there had better not be anything else that i wanna watch Th-S...because i will lose the remote control battle. every. single. time.

all the way till december (when the bowls are finally flushed and over).

and while it all is a little much for me (i mean, really, we're watching Sports Center which is showing highlights from all the games we already watched today...all the same plays, all the same interviews..... is this really necessary?), i have a little confession: i secretly like it, too.

go cougars!

xoox

my memory of it all.

crazy that it was eight years ago today that i was sitting in mr. gibbs' history class...probably yawning while listening to him sing yet another 80's rock band song that he woke up with in his head that morning....(what a nut)....
when ms. coburn from down the hall swung open the door, panting while wheeling a t.v. in our room as she exclaimed, "have you heard??"

we loved coburn, but she could be kinda wacky, so we all just rolled our eyes, giggled a bit, and probably texted some witty (and probably rude- high schoolers are cruel) remark to one of our friends (even though it wouldn't have been me because i wasn't cool enough to get a cell phone till college...but that's another story and rant for another day) while she frantically looked for an outlet to plug that retro t.v. into.

static filled the screen.
i closed my eyes.
"7:30 is toooo early for school to start," i complained to myself.

i kinda shudder when i think of how empty and frivolous that complaint was that morning.
finally the static was gone.
and the image of a plane crashing filled the screen.
over.
and.
over.
and.
over again.
"is that new york city? our new york city?" i thought to myself.

and it was.
and it has never been the same.
we have never been the same.
and we never will be the same.
we will never forget that day.
ever.

my friend ashley posted this video on her blog a few weeks ago. it's a little long...but touching...and it suits today. gives me hope. maybe it will give you some, too.



God bless the U.S.A.
xoxo

maybe a giveaway?

so, almost exactly a year ago, i did my first blog giveaway.
i loved doing it.
so much, that i did another one.
and now, i haven't done one since.

what's up with that, you ask??

well, giving stuff away for free is a lot easier when you have money :)
no, but really, it does take effort.
it takes thought.
it takes planning.
and i just haven't thought or planned much in the last few months when it comes to my blog.

selfish, i know.

well, today, i was reading my friend joni's blog here. you see, she's doing a giveaway when her followers list gets up to 50.
i thought that was so cool.

you see, i get a lot of people reading my blog.
not really sure why... i mean, i just ramble off about frozen yogurt and how much i love sugar, and how cute little toddling one-year-olds are...and my crazy obsessions with t.v. and random other confessions that i probably shouldn't be telling the cyber-world. but i do. and you keep comin' back. and so i keep on bloggin'.

i could be a little more humble and say that i only blog to journal....and that i don't care about comments or followers or stuff like that.
but saying that just wouldn't be true.
because i like the comments. and i like knowing that people are following me.

again, selfish, i know.

but i like feeling warm fuzzies each time i read what one of you has to say. and i like how i feel knowing that another one of you is following my silly, sometimes pathetic, but completely worthwhile existence. makes me feel loved. and makes me wanna give back to you. hence, the giveaway idea.

SO.

here's what i'm thinkin':
i'm going to run with joni's idea....
you see that little button over there ------------------>
the one that says "FOLLOW" ??
well, click on it.
c'mon you know you want to.
cuz here's the deal:

if my followers go up to 50, i'll do a giveaway on my blog.
and every time my followers go up another 50, i'll do another one.
and another one.
why, you ask?
because i want to reward you for being here.
kind of how a puppy-owner rewards her puppy for doing a cool trick with a yummy bone.

except, i'm not talkin' a pansy-puppy-dog-bone-treat-giveaway...
no no my friends.
i'm thinkin that i'm going to start a segment called "marci's favorites" (inspired by my friend Oprah's favorites) and i'll giveaway a little goodie-bag that includes some of those favorite items.
sound fun?
i think so.
i hope you think so too.
but i can't get givin' until i know you're there.
so, go on, follow me. :)
let me know your thoughts!
until then, i'll be excitedly planning your giveaway goodie bag.

xoxo

a little shopping advice, please:

looking to buy one of these:


and/or one of these:


thoughts from my blogging peeps? features...where's the best place to buy, etc etc??

also looking to buy some new:


(thanks to {B} )
unfortunately, those ones are $500 bucks.
i know, right?
i'm looking for the road less traveled........and a little less expensive than that (ok, a LOT less expensive than that. and yes, i'm a fan of the knee height. and no, they don't have to be brown. i like black too.). ideas? best place to shop shoes (aka best deals/selection)?

oh, and while i'm at it, i don't own any skinny jeans. i'd love some. do you have any faves? i'm diggin' elvis' style.....though i'm not really sure i could pull off that high of a waist....but i'm up for any/all suggestions.


(can you tell someone has a birthday coming up?? cough cough)

xoxo

let my t.v. shallowness return

tonight, i'm filled with glee.

because my shows are back.


have i been counting down?
maybe.
are you judging me?
probably.
will that make me any less excited to snuggle up while my lil foot naturally curls to a point and restlessly shakes to the beat of SYTYCD and glee?
absolutely not.

don't call between 8-11 pacific time.
(yeah, prime-time here is my bedtime. how am i going to deal? three letters, my friends: D.V.R.)
how did we ever live before technology??

xoxo

mani/pedi combo

{imagine hot pink on those nails instead of the awesome bright orange ones you're seeing....weird how cameras and screens can distort color....}

i think there are few things that make you feel more relaxed and more girly than the mani-pedi combo. yesterday, mother-in-law, Lynne treated me, my sister-in-law Carrie, and my niece Annabelle to go out for this relaxing-girly combo and some lunch. man, my little hands & feet were in heaven. i have to admit...i'm coming to terms with how wonderful it feels to be girly. i used to laugh at girls who wanted pedi's and loved to wear pink, and had cute high heels and purses. my favorite color was blue and i liked my jansport back pack and that was it. but let's be honest....getting your nails done in hot pink makes you feel so legally blonde, you could just bend and snap. l-o-v-i-n' it. and because it was so fun and cute and made me feel so girly, i had to come home and paint little El's toes too.

{it's much harder to get a picture of a crazy baby's feet than you'd think}

i just can't wait till i can bring little ellie with me on all these fun, girly things.

thank you Lynne, Carrie & Annabelle, for such a fun day!


we can't wait for you Massachussets Chapmans to move here so we can do these girly things more often.

and to my sisters and mama:
missed you like crazy. can't wait to enjoy some girly days in October when we come! just 26 more days...but who's counting???

xoxo

ellie's updated blog. finally!

after much toil and labor, i finally convinced this little cutie patootie to update her blog.


you can check it out by clicking HERE.
she'd really appreciate it...since i know she put lots of time and effort into it. :)
*oh and i should mention...i made it private about a year ago. if you didn't make it on the invite train, and want to take a peek, leave your email!*

xoxo

some M happy-isms

{this picture is pretty irrelevant to my post. but i never posted a uhaul picture (look at that thing packed to the brim)...and this post is about M....and he's in it....so there you go}

two miraculous things happened this week:

1. M golfed an 85. he beat his dad (which is a serious accomplishment...a goal he thought he wouldn't achieve until he was at least 65 and retired and could finally spend the money on the hobby, and his dad would have some sort of arthritis or ailment that would make him unable to play to his full capacity). needless to say, this was a big deal.

2. our cougs defeated the sooners. BYU won a big game. they didn't choke.

i think that M can die a happy man.
and i think i'm going to hear about these two miracles for a looonnnngggg time.
and i wish i was more excited about that.
just sayin'.

xoxo

just the kind of conversation goin' on in our house these days

"i think of you as much as dorothy [elmo's pet fish] thinks of elmo." - M

for those of you who haven't seen elmo's world....dorothy, elmo's goldfish, thinks of elmo a lot....she imagines him doing all sorts of things: being a dog, a cat, rapunzel, a rap singer, a famous tango dancer, among many others. so pretty much, this was M's round-about-way of telling me i'm pretty stinkin' hot and that he can't get me out of his brain.

4+ years, and we've still got it.

xoxo

the eye of the tiger

went to the oakland zoo today.
we had a b.l.a.s.t.

ellie was a little freaked out by how close the tiger kept getting to us. she had reason to be a little freaked since tigers in northern california have been known to kill...


still, we loved it so much that we became season pass holders. in fact, i bought a pass that allows me to bring any other person with me on any day. so, if you're in the bay area and would like to see some animals locked up in cages for free, give me a ring. i'd be happy to hook you up.

not convinced? they even have a cute little petting zoo. i think that was ellie's favorite. she loved saying "baaaa" and petting the lil lambies.


see, now i know you're dying to come visit me and the oakland animals.
*is it obvious that i need some friends?*

xoxo

you wouldn't believe it unless you saw it with your own eyes.

genius, huh?
she gets it from her mama.

:)

love/hate with running.

i love those new balance commercials- you know, the ones where they talk about having a love/hate relationship with running.

i love the one about the morning. it says:

the morning is jealous of your relationship with running. the bed whispers, "don't leave. what do you see in running anyway?" but somewhere in the back of your mind is the thought of the perfect mile politely telling the bed to shut up.

i feel that way about running a lot. they say it gets easier after the first couple of weeks.
and while the actual act of running does get easier and easier, the getting out of bed part causes huge mental battles with myself every. single. morning.

i have conversations with myself like this:

"i think i'm too sore. yes, that's it. i'm sore. i absolutely can't run this morning."
"i have a side-ache already. i know that if i start running, it's just going to get worse. better stay in the cozy covers. bummer."
"it won't matter if i stay in my bed just one morning."

but then, i debate with these follow-up retorts:
"running helps move that lactic acid around. it will only feel worse if you stay under these blasted covers."
"get up. brush your teeth. drink some water. and fight through the pain. pain makes you strong. how strong? too strong."
"it will matter if you stay in bed this one morning...because then, you won't go tomorrow, or the next day, and all of a sudden, you'll start looking like you have twinkies stuffed in all the wrong places."

does anyone else have these debates with his/herself?

and you know what, usually, i'm having debates/making deals with myself the whole time i'm running. like "run to the end of this street, and then you can walk." or "if you make it all the way with no walking, you'll get some frozen yogurt AND some gummie bears today." yeah, i'm pathetic.

i should admit.... its not always easy. in fact, this morning = brutal. half-way through my run, my ipod died. and then, i had to listen to the annoying cadence of my huffing and puffing and pitter-pattering. can you say annoying??? and then i tried to distract myself with my crazy thoughts.............yeah, not good. my brain is a scary place, people (hence, my crazy blog).

but even though it's not easy, it's worth it.
because i feel happier since i started.
i feel less guilty when i indulge (frequently) and have a snickers or a handful of gummie bears.
i feel healthy (even though i have a theory that my thighs and butt are actually expanding....but that could just be a result of those extra snickers and gummie bears that i feel justified in eating...one can't be sure).
and i feel good about myself every time i make it back to my house in the morning.

what a great, tiresome, way to start a day.

run run run as fast as you can!
i'll continue loving to hate...and hating to love running :)

not grown up yet...

i remember being little...and all i wanted to be was "grown up."
in fact, i'll admit that i still wish i looked a few years older....so that when i walk down the streets here, i don't feel like people are looking at me so strangely with the kid on my hip, peanut butter smeared on my shirt, and a nice wad of mousy, frizzy hair stuck in a knot on top of my head. it's like they're looking at me with these eyes that are saying "those are the consequences of teen pregnancy, sister."

and all i can think is: i'll love it when i'm older.
or at least that's what everyone tells me.

anyway, now as a mommy, i see my baby girl...who shouldn't be concerned with being grown up....who shouldn't even know what that means....but definitely does. examples:

she looks up to big kids...and tries to run like them. and dance like them. and laugh like them. it's so cute.

today she exploded out of her diaper....like she used to when she was like 2 weeks old...up the front, back, and down her leg. AND THEN continued to be mad that i had the nerve to clean her up and change her diaper. how could i be so rude? since i enjoy changing poopy, gooey diapers. ick.

she loves to put on a shower-cap in the bath. it's like she's saying, "mom does it. why can't i?" (yes, i wear a shower-cap sometimes. don't you?)


she finds my shoes....which she adoringly refers to as "choos." she loves to find my sexy heels and put them on and try to walk through the house. she gets really mad when she can't do it. so sometimes, M helps her. what a nice daddy.


she loves necklaces and calls them "pitties" for "pretty's." you can usually catch her walking around the house wearing "pitties" at any given moment throughout the day. she wants to make sure everyone has "pitties" too. in fact, just yesterday, she dressed up her elmo in her "pitties."

she doesn't like me to help her eat her food. AT ALL. in fact, if i start trying to spoon-feed her she'll yell "NOOOOOO!" i'm like, whoa there bessy. and then i'll give her the spoon. most will end up on her leg or on her tray. but she is very proud to be a self-feeder, through and through.

but, in spite of these grown-up-isms, she's not a grown up yet.
thank goodness.
she shows glimmers of her child-like innocence...of her lack of total independence...of her sweet purity...of her goodness every day. examples:

when she holds on to daddy's big index finger and walks around with him everywhere. it's just like i imagined it would be. so precious and sweet.

when she walks around the house saying "elmo" all day long....and i finally put some sesame street on...and she gives elmo a huge kiss, as soon as he appears on the screen.


when she is pleased to look at a book- and say the animal noises, over and over again (adults can't stand that kind of repetition :) )


when she jumps around and runs around her cute lil crib....its probably her favorite place in the whole wide world, with her cute raggidy lil pig. only a lil toddler could get away with (and look so cute) doing that.


and when she will come up to us, unprovoked, and give us the sweetest kiss (lip smack and all), and throw her little arms around my neck, as if to say, "can i keep you?."

and all i want to say back is:

i'm yours forever.
can i keep you back?

xoxo