snapshots of my brain this morning

wow, i left that moody post up for a long time, didn't i?
i don't know about you, but it left a bad taste in my mouth to see that again.
kind of like garlic. or onions. ick.
you see, my brain asked for some time off. said it wouldn't work another minute. said that it wouldn't take no for an answer.
so i gave the feisty thing the PTO she deserved.
well, she came back, with a sun tan, and lots and lots of thoughts she said that she bought at a local flea market somewhere in timbuktu.
she wanted me to share some of them with you today, (said it was part of "unpacking"..) and so here i am.
snapshots from my brain:

1. someone hit on me at the gym today. let me preface this by saying: i don't think i have ever been hit on in my entire life- pre-married or married. i know that's not really something to be proud of or to admit, but it's the truth. so, i don't know how to handle being hit on. it makes me...squirm. and let me also add this: hitting on someone at the gym is so odd to me. for several reasons- just to name a few:
a. it is butt-early. which means i probably still have wrinkles and/or handprints on my face and i definitely have bed-head.
b. i'm in my grubbies. and when i say that, i mean: i have an oversized gray BYU Football t-shirt on, faded blue stretchy pants that i've had since 10th grade, mismatched socks underneath those faded pants (it was early when i got dressed), and some very worn out sneakers that should've been replaced several months ago.
c. my talking mechanisms aren't working yet (back to point a- it's butt early). this means if someone says something to me, i most likely give an awkward smile and nod and walk away because i can't get my brain to send something to my mouth to say quick enough.
d. once the work-out gets going, i'm drenched in sweat. seriously. i never used to sweat before i moved to California. but that's not the case here. i may as well have just walked out of the pool when i step off the tredmill or the bike.
d. my only redeeming quality is that i have minty-fresh breath...having just brushed my teeth less than 10 minutes before.

so back to the "being hit on" story. i walk in. the dude who usually swipes my card is there. he laughs for a minute and says, "sooo, when are we going to the movies?" i stop. i stare. i return the laugh. i say something dumb that i can't remember (refer to point C)...but which i know resembled more "yes" than "no." and laugh and walk away. situation avoided? unfortunately, not the case. my whole sweaty workout goes by, and an hour later, drenched in that sweat i told you about in point D, and i head for the door. there is Michael Little (yes that's his name...and yes, he looks like he's maybe 20) gearing up some new remark: "i'm serious you know." and my stupid brain (refer once again to point C) nervously sends a chuckle to my mouth and the remark: "i can't. i'm busy." and i walk out the door. why didn't i just tell the dude i was married? why couldn't my brain send my mouth that phrase? because now i've created yet another awkward moment in the future where i have to divulge that i am in fact married, that i have been for almost 5 years, and that yes, i'm 24- my hubby robbed the cradle. uggghhhh. i need help. i would ask for help or advice for future experiences, but i'm sensible enough to know this was a one time occurrence. maybe i should ask: what should've i said? but then again, that will just make me feel worse. oh Michael Little. you little squirt.

2. i found an unmistakable white hair on the top of my head yesterday. i'm still upset by it. why do i look 20 and yet have things like white hairs on my head? this doesn't make sense to me or my brain.

3. we are moving stuff over to our house now. (insert HOORAY here). i'm ecstatic! mostly because this means that our house is done and we don't have to work on it (aka M & his dad don't have to work on it) incessantly anymore. what a relief. i have the elaborate plan of doing a week-long blog feature on our house and what we have been doing (and why it all has taken so long). i'm just a little hesitant to do so...well, because i don't want people to be like, "THAT'S ALL? THAT'S WHAT'S TAKEN YOU SO LONG?" because quite frankly, that would devastate our little spirits. one thing i've learned with do-it-yourself projects is this: things take at least 5x's longer than you think they will. oh, and 5x's as much money. but then the result is also 5x's more rewarding.

4. i know i already mentioned the book "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society." but i mentioned it before i actually finished it. and now i have. and so now i have to mention it one more time: please treat yourself to this book. it will not disappoint, i can assure you of that.

5. everyone in our house is on a diet. i am not. rebellion? maybe. to be honest, i'm a very mean, temperamental sort of person when i'm on a diet. that's one reason i exercise- so i can eat what i want. i like food way too much. and probably base too much of my happiness upon it. but, i have to admit, i felt a little guilty yesterday when i whipped out my chips and dip during the super bowl and ate them all by myself. but really, isn't it just a little un-American to not eat chips and dip during the super bowl? i have to say, i'm very proud of everyone in my house. and feel a little ashamed of my splurgings. but not ashamed enough to get rid of my stash of gummie bears or mother's cookies.

6. i'm very stressed out by the idea of decorating. no one told me it was so hard. and i'm realizing i dont' even know what my style is. country? eh. vintage? i do love old, unique things. modern? heck no. European? i think i could do that. i don't even know where to start. oh, and did i mention i like expensive things? things i can't afford, like this:

Priscilla Shower Curtain

anthropologie.com

$69...ON SALE. no joke.

man, i know this is fun to most of you...and it is to me too, but i think i'm overthinking it. you think?

7. Michael Buble's version of "The Christmas Song" just came up on my iPod. i'm not changing it. i miss Christmas already. it went by too fast.

8. Valentine's Day is on Sunday. while i secretly wish that this was just a holiday to celebrate how wonderful us women are, i know i need to roll up my sleeves and get to work on finding something special for M. what do you get for men to show them how much you love them, again? i know it should just come to me and it should be "from my heart"...but...i'm baffled this year.

9. while on the subject of M, being an accountant's wife is much harder than i anticipated it would be. and that's saying a lot- because i grew up with an Accountant dad. but being a wife of an accountant and a daughter to one are two entirely different things. i can finally empathize a little better with my mama...and understand just a tinge of her heartache through busy season. 70 + hr workweeks are a nightmare (that being said, i do consider myself a very independent person...and i'm sure i'll get used to it. i guess you could just say that i'm still in a little bit of "busy season shock." i can't imagine what M must be feeling) (and yes, we do feel blessed to have a job in this crazy economy. things could be much worse, i know).

10. on the subject of busy season, with M getting home between 9&10 on a good night, i find myself either hanging out with the in-laws or home alone. so, much of my evening free time is spent vegged out in front of the tube...that and looking for tolerable shower-curtains online. some t.v. thoughts (because my brain just can't resist the temptation to gossip about t.v. characters)
a. LOST: i'm more confused than i was before, if that's possible. spoiler alert- don't read ahead if you haven't watched this season- i hate that Juliette is really dead. are they seriously going to keep this love-triangle between jack, sawyer and kate going? and really, what is this dual-existence they have going on? and if that's the case, why did Juliette say that "it worked?" like i said before, CONFUSED. side note: i'm very depressed that this is the last season...and i'm not quite convinced they are going to answer all my questions by the end of it. sigh.
b. American Idol: i'm so relieved that the auditions are over. while very funny (i still laugh thinking of the lady jumping up and down in the bathroom and telling herself that she's awesome...i may or may not have mimicked her while in the ladie's room once or twice), they are so awkward and make me so uncomfortable. are people really that unaware of themselves? really. anyway, i can't wait for the good stuff to finally get goin' now (aka ELLEN!).
c. the Bachelor: i'm more than a little bit embarrassed to admit that i watch this drama. but i do. and once i watch one episode, i'm sucked in for good. those of you who watch understand. those of you who don't...well, go ahead, roll your eyes, and skip down to the next point. my main opinion of this season is this: why can't everyone just drop the whole Vienna thing and worry about their own relationship with Jake? seriously. LET. IT. GO. side note: i definitely like the Bachelorette way better than the Bachelor- way less drama.
d. 24: stress stress stress. that's really all i can say. oh, and one more thing: do you feel like you know Jack Bauer really well? because i do. but then i thought about it: how well can you really know a person by only spending 7 days with them? just saying.
e. the Office: i'm just grateful that once a week i get to see Michael make a fool of himself the way he does. because it really makes me laugh. hard.
f. Being Erica: this is a new addition to my list. my friend RaeAnn from school told me about this show- and i love it. yes, there are a few inappropriate parts.(it's a television show). but i love Erica Strange. i relate to her. i feel attached to her- like she's my sister..or bff...or maybe even a version of myself. check it out on Hulu- it's a young show, only in it's second season. but you may just be surprised and like it as much as i do.
{ok, that's enough on television. seriously. look at all of that time i spend in front of the tube. wow. ridiculous}.

11. i miss my family terribly. it could be because it's bleak and cold and gloomy, and they always seem to bring sunshine and warmth. it could also be because it feels like it's been forever since i last saw them...especially my siblings. distance and miles can be such a wedge, can't they?

12. i know you've probably noticed that i haven't written a single word about Ellie. what kind of a mother am i? well, my brain has dozens...heck hundreds of thoughts about her every day and night. one is this: this morning, i asked her what she wanted for breakfast. she told me a waffle. so i busily went to making her a waffle (i buy whole grain ones...as if that cancels out all the sugar that's in the syrup). i cut it perfectly along the lines, making very neat little squares for her to pop in her mouth. then, i went about making myself my own breakfast- the usual: a bowl of life cereal with bananas cut up and Silk poured lightly over the top (i'm lactose-intolerant, not anti-milk. there's a BIG difference). then i sit down next to Ellie. she stares at me...and after about 5 minutes of this stare down, she says, "more cereal?" i look at her plate of perfectly-squared, untouched waffles...and think, you can't be serious. so i give her one bite of my cereal...two bites, three bites, until she's commandeered the whole bowl and spoon. now, you think this is just because she wanted cereal, don't you? no no, you see, this exact same scenario happened yesterday...when she had an identical bowl of cereal to mine sitting right in front of her. why does she insist on eating my food? and, on a semi-related note, why do toddlers have to be so gosh-darn picky?

13. nursery has turned into a nightmare. i really don't feel like elaborating. so i won't. i'll just say this: i realllllyyy ache to go to relief society (and somewhat understand the title these days......i think it's to give mothers some much needed relief each and every Sunday. can't wait to partake in it).

{this is a picture of Ellie chasing the poor cat Twinkle, whom she refers to as "twinkle star." we do this every day, multiple times a day.}

14. i'm making Ellie sound like a tyrant. but i guess that's what almost-2 year-olds are. but they are also sweeter than sugar. just yesterday, she combed my hair, chased me around the house all day, giggling the whole time, and stared up at me with those big brown eyes while i sang her to sleep as she caressed my face with her soft little fingers. being a mom is hard. but it is so sugary sweet, too.

and that's where i'll leave my brain-snapshots for today.
glad to have you back to work, little brain.

xoxo

moody soul scribblings.

what's going on with me today?
glad you asked:

and i think that pretty much sums it up.

xoxo

the do's and don'ts of being home alone.

well, this last week, i unfortunately weathered the storm, all by my lonesome (quite literally actually, as every morning i woke up to hearing rain fall from my window…pretty romantic…in a lonely sorta way). you see, M’s parents were enjoying a wonderful excursion to Mexico—and M tried to enjoy (as much as you can enjoy work and stuff) a work-ful excursion to Arizona…which left me and E alone in this big house.

sounds cool to you, huh? well it is, for the first 10 minutes…heck even the first day or two. you get to do things your own way, you get to cook whatever the heck you want (or not even cook at all) to your own little heart’s content, you can walk around in your undies (something i haven’t done in a LONG time),  and you can go to bed whenever the heck you want. but then after those first couple of days you realize: you’re not sure exactly what your own way is anymore, you kind of like cooking for someone else…especially since going through all the hassle for just yourself just isn’t as cool, you feel somewhat embarrassed about the whole undies thing, and you feel so creeped out in the night time that neither staying up late nor going to bed early remedies the situation. sigh.  still, M has gone out of town quite a bit lately- so i thought i’d share some of my do’s and don’ts  of being home alone.

(side note: some of my do’s are things that i do, but aren’t things you necessarily should do. does that even make sense? is there a difference? i’d argue it does …and there is).

Do:

get a good book to read while the Mr. is away. reading is such a good way to get lost in another world and forget about your own loneliness. thanks to my all-star friend Bec, i picked up this lovely find this last week:

and yes, i think you should read it. it’s a beautiful book.

Don't:

read creepy news stories in the newspaper or on the net. they will make you paranoid. and they will make you think you are hearing things in your house while you are reading them.

Do:

get into a new t.v. show…or rewatch an old one you love, and then play those bad-boys to drown out the silence. this last week, i rewatched a season of Gilmore Girls, recorded and watched several episodes of Clean House (so that i could fast-forward to the good parts- like knowing how much mula they made at the garage sale and seeing the reveal of the house), and watched several other HGTV shows and DIY shows. (these were all in addition to my regularly scheduled shows. wow, i’m shallow).

Don’t:

watch 24. that would be stupid. just flipping through the channels and hearing the sound of the timer beeping gave me the willies. i love watching Jack…but man he gives me nightmares.

Do:

run up the stairs…as fast as you can…every.single.time. seriously. it’ll make you feel better. oh, and be sure to check over your shoulder once or twice to make sure nobody’s there. that’ll make you feel better too.

Don’t:

turn out all the lights. unless you want to really be creeped out.

Do:

check friends’ blogs and facebook each day. it will make you remember that you do have friends out there somewhere. (or if you are lucky enough to live nearby friends, you could get together with them too. i’m still working on taking friendships to that next level of “hanging out” out here….it takes time. Sigh.). or calling them works too. thanks to my friends/family out there who call/text me, even if i don’t always respond (having a toddler who thinks my phone is her phone really makes the whole “talking on the phone” thing quite difficult).

Don’t:

blog about being home alone until you aren’t home alone anymore. maybe i’m becoming too cynical, but think of all the creepers out there. as much as i was tempted to update my facebook status to say “feeling lonely and loserish without the hubs and my fam tonight” i kept thinking of some wack job reading that status and then finding me and taking me to Europe like in that movie Taken.

Do:

treat yourself to treats. but not until the night time. it's like a little reward for making it through one more day all alone. i personally tried a couple new recipes (ones that i either wanted to try but not worry about it not turning out or whether or not someone else would like it...or maybe it was that i just didn't want to have to share with anybody) and also took E out for some girls' nights frozen yogurt time. she loved that. and i won't lie, i loved it too.

Don't:

worry about the extra calories. seriously- just throw those resolutions out the window. and give yourself a break. you deserve it. you've been with the kid alone all day...or maybe you've just braved the storm all alone all day. you're awesome for that.

Do:

dress up in your old Prom gown and pretend that you are attending the Golden Globes.

Don't:

show anyone a picture of that dressing up...because that would be embarrassing and awkward.

ok, now i'm getting embarrassed about my do's and don'ts. so i'll stop.
but you get the idea. 

xoxo

a dream come true: Disneyland.

confession: all my life, i've dreamed of the day that i could take my own kid to Disneyland for the first time.
confession 2: i may have been more excited for this Disneyland excursion than i was for Christmas this year (gasp!). crazy, i know...but true.

and you know, everyone kept telling me, "no no, you shouldn't take your little toddler to Disneyland- they won't enjoy it- and they won't even remember it...and it will be a nightmare..and what will you do about a nap? and expect lots of lots of meltdowns."
to all of those everyones, i say, you. were. totally. wrong.

i thought meeting Elmo was the best day of her life.
but that was until she went to Disneyland.
she LOVED it! we all loved it.

Ellie was awe-struck, amazed, giddy, happy, funny, ecstatic, and pretty much just in heaven. i've never seen her like that. so entertained, so engaged, so overjoyed around every corner.
sure, there were "moments." but c'mon, she's an 18-month old. and the moments were few compared to the happy ones. and also, the "moments" usually were associated with waiting in line and then experiencing rides that she was entirely uninterested in or freaked out by (aka, Peter Pan's Flight- which i totally talked up because she loves Tink...but came to realize that Tink is only in it once for like 2 seconds and she's like 6 inches....my bad)- which, can you blame her?

Ellie's favorite parts of the day:
-the Winnie the Pooh ride, which she did with Gammy, and meeting Winnie the Pooh (she loovvveeed the characters)
-the It's A Small World ride- which they've re-done into this Holiday ride...it was SO cute, the music didn't get stuck in my head- and Ellie kept saying "again, again again?" after we got off.
-The Celebrate/Dance Party Parade. we were front & center for this parade- and Ellie LOVED this! the characters all came and danced right in front of her, which she was totally stoked about. she even got to dance with them, too (which mostly consisted of me dancing and trying to coax her into dancing). she was also amazed that Mickey & Minnie gave her high-fives. "woooowwww," she said. so cute.
-giving Tinkerbell a hug. she was a little freaked out by Terrence (from the Tink 2 movie), but then once we walked away, she kept asking for him. i think the fact that these characters weren't in a big suit made them a little more real, and therefore a little more intimidating for her...but man, she was amazed to see Tinkerbell, in the flesh. she LOVES Tink.
-eating a big bag of cotton candy at the end of the day. in fact, she fell asleep on my shoulder walking to the car, and when i was buckling her in her carseat, she opened her eyes, and in a groggy lil voice said, "moore caandy?" and then went right back to snoozin. made me laugh.
-enjoying the whole day with her Gammy & Pops. she loovvveed having them there.

my favorite parts of the day:
-watching every little expression that came across Ellie's face with each new thing we did.
-having Gammy & Pops there to enjoy it all with us...and to watch Ellie so mr. M and i could go on a few rides together. sa-weet!
-the Monte Cristo sandwich at a little cafe in New Orleans.....deeeelliiisssh
-enjoying a whole day, stress free, with the hubs!
-seeing Ellie keep the Minnie Mouse ears on for most of the day. so cute!
-having Ellie crash on my shoulder at the end of the day. it was the perfect, sweetest finish.

all in all, it was the most lovely day- my favorite of our trip, and i think Ellie (& M's) too. i guess you could say it was a dream come true.

xoxo

sea world & "cha-moo"

has anyone been to Sea World recently and seen the Shamu show, Believe? well, let me tell you two little secrets about it:
1. it's awesome.
2. it's slightly weird because they have you do this weird chant thing where you put your arms in the air, one at a time and chant "Shamu, Shamu" to get him to splash everybody.
2a. and even though i kinda feel like i'm in some weird cult when i do the shamu chant, i secretly really like it and it gives me chills. and i reaaally realllly loved how the rest of the day, Ellie kept saying "chaaa-moooo, chaaaa-mooo!"

we had a fabulous time at Sea World.

{and as if touching Star Fish and blowing kisses to penguin, and watching Shamu do jumps and tricks and laughing at the silly Seals and seeing the dolphins do their adorable tricks and being freaked out by the crazy shark tunnel wasn't all good enough, meeting Elmo was really the crowning moment to the day...but i already told you about that here}.

xoxo

our coastal solace

oh hi again. it's me. a renewed, vacationed me. one that looks a little less stressed and tired and a little more rested and beachy. kinda like this:

we're back from our little escapade to visit my parents in Southern California...we snatched up some ridiculously cheap airfare about a month ago to visit them (since M hadn't seen them since before we moved)- and the timing couldn't have been more perfect-- we needed a reason to escape our snow-ball project of a house and really rest up before M started into busy season...(which is now in full force, as he won't be coming home tonight until 10:00 pm...let the widowhood begin).

for journaling's sake (and for the day that i decide to print this sucker out) i'm going to do a couple of different posts from our trip. ok? ok.

one of our favorite parts of being down there (aside from lots of laughs from my funny parents, yummy food, and silly moments of wrong turns funny conversations) was enjoying the beautiful coastline just minutes from their home. every morning, we enjoyed a run on the coast- and can i just say, i love running on the beach.


is there anything that feels better? perfect temperature, beautiful surroundings, yummy smells, lovely sounds. ah. i heart the beach. anyway, the first night, M and i walked down and enjoyed the sunset- and we knew that Ellie would love it. so we went back the next night and took her...

...of course she was ticked when it got dark and she couldn't see her shovel anymore and realized that we were leaving...

...so we went back again before we left and let her play some more. man, she looovvveees the beach. the rest of the time, she kept saying to me, "sand? sand? sand?," as if to say, "mama, take me to the sand. i've got some serious digging to do."

now, all is never hunky dory when it comes to beach trips. and let's get real, this is ME we're talking about, so of course random stuff always happens. well, when i took Ellie down to play the second time, i pulled out some goldfish crackers about 20 minutes into playing, like any good mom would do. all of a sudden, a flock of seagulls surrounded me. well, it wasn't like i was going to share some with them, so i hid the crackers underneath my legs. a few minutes later, i pulled them out again and popped a couple in my mouth- and offered some to Ellie. now, she was in the opposite direction of one of the birds...and so naturally, i looked toward her, away from the bird. well, that nasty sucker came and nipped the bag right out of my hand! i literally screamed out loud and grabbed the fallen bag from the floor and the closest thing i could find, a small hand towel- and that thing came right back for more. it was not scared of little ole me one bit- but it shoulda been- because i started swinging that hand-towel like a banchee- and i hit the bird- 2, maybe 3 times. i looked down at my arm, and i had two large scratches. SERIOUSLY. TWO!! they are still kinda there, and i admit that i'm a little concerned that i might have rabies or something. now, you'd thing the dang bird woulda gotten a clue- but he didn't. he still lurked right there, waiting for me to mess up again and look away. what did he think i was? a ding dong? my eyes were right on that thing- and i kept saying to him, "it's a crying shame for you we're not in Utah- because there i couldn't do THIS!" and i'd throw sand on it. maybe it was a little harsh. but he ruined some perfectly good fish. plus, i could technically blame it on the rabies. just sayin.

{the rabies-infested-goldfish-stealing seagull}

and thus ends our excursion(s) to the beach.

xoxo

the best day of ellie's life.

guess who Ellie got to meet today?

you guessed it! ELMO! in the FLESH! 

and how did the Ellie-Elmo encounter go, you ask? well.... i'll let you take a look and decide for yourself:

she was as smitten as any love-struck girl ever gets.
pretty much the cutest thing ever.
needless to say, we are having a fabulous time enjoying some much needed R&R in Southern California with my family. more to come on our quirky-turkey adventures soon.

xoxo

dear 2009,

{us Chapmans getting ready to ring in the new year- M's mom had this really cute idea for all of us to decorate our own party hats. even Ellie had a little head-band to decorate! i'm totally gonna have this be a family tradition because it was so fun}.

what a year, what a year. i feel like i blinked and you disappeared. (or maybe it was that i fell asleep and woke up realizing that the ball had dropped and everyone drank their bubbly without me...that's what i get for being a morning person...aka NOT a night person). wow. i get sad thinking of telling you good bye. because, well, because you were a good year to me and my family. a year of hope, a year of crazy changes, a year of good-byes, a year of hellos, a year of friendships and relationships, and a year of stress, happiness, and joy. and to add to all of that, you were the last year to the decade of my youth. yes, i may be gripping to hold on to that decade of my youth a bit longer...but i promise i'll give it up soon. maybe after i reminisce just a little bit with you and thank you for lots and lots of things.

you gave me many gifts this year- one of them being a new job at a new school. together we met the cutest little five-year olds with the cutest parents in the cutest little community. i hope to never forget them and the things they taught me about love, life, snacks, learning, reading, friendship, humor, shapes, math, and trust. you tried to teach me how to balance being a mommy and a teacher- even though i stunk at it pretty bad. you also helped me forge relationships and friendships with the neatest ladies in the world- co-workers who i learned so much from, gained inspiration and guidance from, and consider dear friends. you showed me that next to my religion and my calling as a mom,being a teacher brings me the most fulfillment and joy.

while i loved my experience as a teacher, you helped me celebrate early retirement. wow was i glad to be done balancing being a young mom and a teacher...for now. you gave me the gift of being able to be a stay-at-home mom for the first time in my life- how will i ever repay you? i've never been so happy doing anything in my entire life.

oh man, and remember all of our car drama this year? break-downs on the free-way wth engine problems, flat tires, spin-outs on the snowy high-way... but somehow you provided me with safety. thank you for keeping me and my family safe.

you gave me new t.v. shows to love and reinforced my love for old ones. i grew to become incomplete without my weekly fill of Kris Allen's breathtaking renditions of any song he sang, House's sarcasm, Kate, Sawyer, Jack, John, Ben & Juliette (& everyone in between)'s drama and mysteries, awe-inspiring dance routines, Pam & Jim's romance and Michael's lack-thereof, and finally, Glee music that stays in my head till the following week when i get new songs to stick in my head. and while i know that i probably could and should be putting my energy into something with a little more substance-- i didn't. and i won't. because i like t.v. a lot. thank you for bringing me some great seasons of tv, 2009.

you helped me forge and strengthen wonderful friendships and relationships- some already existing, and some new. some in real-life, and some in this fantasy world i call the blogosphere. in times when i could've felt lonely and isolated, you put people in my path to help me feel validated and loved.

you also were with me to survive my first year of motherhood. it was stinky, messy, tantrumy, fun, exciting, slobbery, funny, joyful, stressful, expensive, multitask-ful, tiresome, rewarding, frustrating, fulfilling, and lovely in each of its outstanding emotions. you taught me that motherhood is it's own journey...on which i have only taken 2 baby steps, and includes ups, downs, curves, spins, and lots of hugs and kisses. you taught me to love being a mom. thank you for that.

you watched us close the chapter of BYU-- one that seemed would never end-- one that we were so sad to close-- and still are sad that is over. you helped M finish strong in his studies and gave us many wonderful memories at basketball games and football games and on-campus festivities. you gave us pride in knowing that we will always be Cougars at heart even though we had to move away. rise and shout, rah rah, rah rah rah!!

you were right by me when i fell down the stairs in sacrament meeting. and almost cursed. i think you may have laughed a little. i won't hold it against you.

we celebrated 4 years of marriage together. you made me remember why i chose M-- because he was the kindest person i had ever met, and still is the kindest man on the face of the earth. man, i'm lucky. thanks for helping me remember how lucky i truly am.

we felt our families grow even closer together-- as we celebrated all sorts of occasions together including birthdays, fourth of july festivities, Easters, births, homecomings, farewells, graduations, concerts, Halloween parties, family dinners, outings, and everything in between. you gave me the overwhelming sense of belonging and meaning with each new memory that was made with my family and M's family. you helped me gain greater love and appreciation for the people in life who matter most: family.

you gave us the most wonderful summer to date- with trips and vacations- a community garden to tend to- and excursions to the local water park and the library. you let us work on our tans and gave us reason to be lazy and free. really, you gave us the greatest gift of all: time to spend together. thank you for giving us time.

and then it was time for us to move. and you were there. you were there with every frame i took off the walls of that little apartment we had lived in for 3 years. you were there with every box that was intricately packed. you watched us throw together about 10 "random" boxes at 4:00 am when we just wanted the packing to be over...and then you saw the hot tears roll down when i saw that place all empty and bare...the place that had once been full of messes and crumbs...yummy dinners and funny friends....and lots of love and laughter. you were there through all the goodbyes. and even though my heart pulled me back and wanted me to stay, you helped me be strong and move forward.

so then we came here. to beautiful Northern California. we experienced overwhelming love and support in every corner from M's family. they feed us, they shelter us, they introduce us to people to help us feel a part of a new community. they showed true excitement we were here- which made the move and transition much easier. together we definitely have invaded their space- with toys, crumbs, messes, laughter, sesame street, extended bath-times, laundry, and much much more. and yet, we definitely have become greater friends and created new wonderful memories. you helped us be happy in our new surroundings.

with that said, you helped M start his career here in NorCal.
which was scary.
and made life seem more...real.
and while we miss the time together...we are sooo grateful for the security that comes with having a job in this crazy time of economic hardship (including the paychecks).

in the mean time, you watched over my family as they moved from my childhood house. there were lots and lots of tears. how do you say goodbye to memories, and so many people, and your favorite tree, and your bedroom floor that you spilled countless jars of nail-polish on, and your closet that is still adorned with the stickers of Ben Affleck in it, and the window that you used to look out and pray from...and then secretly wish on the stars and the moon for all those embarrassing things that i'd never in a million years admit to...? you can't. and you were ok with that. you let us cry...and helped us find comfort in knowing that that will always and forever be my childhood home- the house to my memories and childhood dreams.

and then you were with us when we found our first house.
and it's been...busy ever since. turning and old run-down house into a home isn't as easy as it sounds.
and even though you didn't help us see it finished, you gave us that house. we are grateful to you for that- and hope that your sister, 2010, can help us get it done!

and, while all that i said is nice and fluffy and made you really special and unique...
it all seems frivolous unless i add our sweet Ellie to the mix.

you'll always be the one that she discovered the world with for the first time. you were there when she said her first words, when she drank her first sippy of apple juice and became an addict, when she took her first step and became an instant pro, when she gave us her first kisses and said her first "love you," when she learned how to wave, and clap- you were there when she ate her first cake (and all was down-hill from there in the sugar department). you were with us when she experienced Elmo for the first time, and saw the animals at the zoo. you gave her confidence, spunk, stubborness, and her sweet personality that is simply addicting and fills your soul in ways you didn't even know was possible. you helped her transition from the Baby world to the toddler world- and boy is it wonderful. and when all is said and done, it is because of Ellie that my belief in all things spiritual has increased, my gratitude for my own Parents has been strengthened, and my knowledge of my Heavenly Father and my Savior's presences in my life has become immovable.

and so, 2009, you are irreplaceable. i'll always remember you- the year of change. thank you for hangin' in there with us..and for letting us hang out with you. i miss you already, my dear friend! and will love you forever,

xoxo,
Marce

christmas collages

ok, ok, mom...i'm now posting about Christmas.
sorry i've been such a turtle about this. but really, it's been a little bit busy.

Christmas was lovely in every way this year (minus missing my family, of course, and also minus the several cuts on my hands from opening all the plastic and cardboard boxes..man, those things are dangerous.).

it started out with Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa Chapman's house...aka "The Zoo" (she literally has animal figurines and stuffed animals adorned all throughout her house. Ellie loves that place....while i am constantly freaked out she's gonna break something the whole time we're there)....

Twas the night before Christmas
at Grandma Chapman's house...
Every creature was living there
Even a mouse.

Ellie was so excited
for wherever she looked
she found a new animal
and then she was hooked.

She wanted to touch it
and to give it a kiss
and i admit i was a little scared
the frog would turn into a prince.

ok ok, i got a little carried away.

i'm not gonna rhyme and poetratize this whole post.

we had fun catching up with M's side of the fam. here's a little glimpse of our evening:

and before we knew it
Christmas morning had arrived
So we walked down stairs
And Ellie was so excited overjoyed and surprised.

she got babies

and princesses

and dress-ups too

she got golf-clubs
and dolls
and lots of play-food.


she smiled, she ran, 
she kissed and hugged each and every toy
thanks to all our loved ones, 
her Christmas (and ours too) was filled with love and joy.

whoa sorry, the rhymes just keeping spilling out of me like beans. 
to sum it up:
Christmas was wonderful.
we were very blessed.
and now we are spending the rest of our break painting painting painting, tiling tiling tiling, carpeting carpeting carpeting, and any and every other renovation term you can think of so that we can get this house done before the new year.

pray for us.
and my aching back :)

love to you all! hope you had the merriest of Merry Christmases- and are ready to party in the new year!
xoxo

Santa and Merry Christmas and stuff

we went and saw Santa today.

it all started pretty good- with Ellie looking darling in a little Christmas dress-- and constantly asking for "tanta."

 {these are the kind of shots we get these days: action ones.}

but then, when we plopped her on the big man's lap....well...

it pretty much went exactly like i thought it would:

{notice her one arm reaching out to me-- she kept saying "noo! nooo!" over and over in between sobs while reaching out for me to come and save her. poor thing. sadly, it was very, very funny-- and M and i laughed quite a bit. crazy what we put our children through for the sake of "tradition."}

and while part of me wishes i had that little picture-perfect cheesy grin from my little El-ster, we all know that's just not how she rolls. plus, it's funnier this way.

anyway, so i'm busy making rolls tonight-- M's grandma's secret recipe ones (why does it seem that every grandma has a secret recipe? and what's the big secret anyway? why does it have to be a secret?) and tomorrow will most assuredly be hectic and fun and exciting and busy...

but i wanted to be sure to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. my little life and little world are better because of you, dear blogging world. so, if there's anyone out there, from me to you this Christmas Eve eve, know that my little Marci heart is grateful for you and wishes for all your wildest Christmas dreams to come true. sending you a big hug and lots of love this season and always!

xoxo

gifts

wow, it's Christmas week... i can't believe it... how did that happen? one minute we were making rolls and basting turkeys and waking up at an insane hour to get a few hot deals, and the next.... Wam! it came.

i admit it...i'm excited. makes me feel like a little kid with a slight hope that Santa might actually come and adorn my newly painted red kitchen with the le creuset pots i am currently lusting over. it can't hurt to wish right?

and yet while i'd love those pots, and some new mac makeup and some killer sexy jeans that will shrink my Latin butt three sizes, i can't help but be more excited to actually give a meaningful Christmas for once and make the magic i felt not-so-long-ago for Ellie. i can't wait to see er face Christmas morning when she realizes that those boxes i've been making her steer clear from have been full of toys and treats. holidays truly are special with kids.

and still, while i am so excited to capture ellie's expressions and enjoyment, and i can't wait to see what she likes most, i can't help but think and be grateful for all the gifts i already have been given.

the gift of life.
the gift of family.
the gift of a home.
the gift of warm socks and jackets.
the gift of being parents to Ellie.
the gift of the savior, Jesus Christ's birth and life.

i'm so grateful for the Savior and that we have this time of year to remember Him and emulate Him and the kind of life He lived. the knowledge of His birth and life is the gift i treasure most.

though i'm not gonna lie, i still kinda hope i get those jeans :)

i love this time of year, and hope you are all loving it too!

Merry Christmas week to all.

xoxox

drawing

Ellie discovered she likes to draw....

i foresee many more scribble tattoos in the future...
which is all fun and games till the walls get some tattoos too.
but for now, i think it's pretty stinkin cute.

xoxo

I'll Be Home For Christmas

i woke up this morning with a community of zits inhabiting my face.
i don't know what's worse: the pain of those monsters or the fact that i am still battling zits in my mid twenties.
i decided the only way to combat those vermin would be to sit in front of the mirror and try to annihilate them-- show them who's boss.
well, now my face is all red, swollen, and looking worse (and feeling worse) than before.
ugh.
but, i'm determined to be in good spirits...

so i put on my Christmas playlist.. Christmas music always boosts spirits. i'm now listening to David Archuleta's version of "I'll Be Home For Christmas."



i admit it, i'm crying a little bit. why does that song always make me cry? i think it's because it makes me think of my family.

it makes me think of my mom singing that song while putting Martha Stewart to shame in the decorating department.
it makes me think of cinnamon potpurri brewing in the kitchen, a collection of Santa's adorned all over that beautiful entertainment center, my brother teasing my sister, my dad walking through the door from work or from the gym, and Lucy, the dog, lurking around every corner pleading for attention and snuggles.
it makes me think of snow dancing to the ground, chocolate peppermint cookies (the secret-recipe ones), driving up to a house decked out in lights glowing in white ice, and watching old movies while sipping on some hot chocolate.
it makes me think of my grandpa playing music on his piano, my grandma unveiling her treasure of gifts for all her grandkids, my cousins and aunts and ungles laughing and dancing and singing and limbo-ing.
it makes me think of laughing till my stomach hurts. 
it makes me think of choirs and concerts going on all over town.
it makes me think of my mom's smile, my dad's laugh, my sister's beautiful face, my brother's humor, and his wife's love for their little Rosalie.
it makes me miss my family like something fierce.

don't get me wrong, i love it here. it is lovely. i love being close to M's family. i love sharing the holiday with them.  it is so special-- especially for Ellie.
it's just not home...yet.
and so when i think of "I'll be home for Christmas," i can't help but think of my little childhood Utah house...humble and sweet...and my little Hartley family...wild and equally sweet.

love to you all, and missing you all lots.
hope you're enjoying the season!

xoxo

i'm hoping he wins tonight:

but i wouldn't mind if he won either:

how 'bout you?

{side note: i'm getting sad that all my shows are ending. like, i'm pretty depressed thinking that there's no Glee on tonight. thank goodness for the two-hour SYTYCD season finale. but really, what am i going to do until 'early spring' without new Glee music, hilariously sarcastic Sue comments, and ridiculously adorable Mr. Shoe? thank goodness Christmas is around the corner...and then American Idol, Lost and 24 are coming soon to distract me........[a side note to my side note: am i the only one who gets chills every time an American Idol commercial comes on?? and how freakin' cool is it that Ellen is going to be a new judge? just when i thought it couldn't get any better...it did.] the end.}

Ellie week part VII: sweet and sour...but mostly sweet

one final Ellie week post...

{yes this is a blurry image..but i wanted to share it because a. it's virtually impossible to snap a clear photo these days and b. it totally captures Ellie's personality these days: on the go, happy, energetic, always moving, sweet & sour}

 anyone who knows and/or who has been around Ellie for about 10 seconds knows that she has a very unique personality. i like to call it "sweet and sour...but mostly sweet." you see, she is so sweet and kind and loving in so many ways....most of the time. but don't get on her bad side...and don't make her mad...because then things can get a bit sour.

you can make her mad by doing 1 of 2 things: 1. pick her up and try to love on her while she's busily playing or running around. 2. deny her a treat or a toy or basically something that she wants. (and if you're me, which i am me, i have a 3rd and 4th way i can make her mad: 3. give another child attention (this could mean holding them, chasing them, giving them a snack....the list goes on. she's suffering from "only child syndrome" at this point). 4. leave the room.).

so what does "making Ellie mad" entail? well, there's only one way to describe it: crazy. and one other word too: tantrum. 

now, i must admit, i really wasn't expecting to be dealing with tantrums at such a young age...but we have at least one grumpy spell or tantrum a day these days...and sometimes, if i'm extra lucky, i'll get a handful of them. she is a very stubborn, strong-willed little squirt. the solution: therapy. ha ha, just kidding (could you imagine an 18-month old in therapy? strangely, in this world, i somehow could). for reals though, i'm not quite sure of the best solution. i usually don't give her what she wants, continue to hold the kid, and go in the other room anyway. i then come back to her out-of-control self and try to hug her and reason with her (insert laugh here) and then distract her with some other toy or snack. is it working? kinda. am i hopeful it will get better? you betcha. could i use advice? of course.

having said all of that stuff about Ellie's sour self, she is also the sweetest little toddler on the planet. the evidence:

• she gives unsolicited hugs and kisses all day long...not just to me or M, not just to her Grandma and Grandpa, and Gammy and Pops and aunties and uncles, but to her toys (even things like blocks and toothbrushes) and even to her food. i love her huggy little self.
  

• whenever she sees me she says, "hii mama!" (even if she just saw me 10 seconds before). makes me feel so loved.

• she looovvees her crib. she practically jumps out of my arms to get in it when it's time for nap or bed. i think this is partially because of her love affair with her raggidy ole pig that she's snuggled in bed with since she was born. when i leave the room, i often hear her talking to that pig saying this like "awweee, hiii pig. niiicceee." and then i hear her lips smacking as if she's kissing that pig. wow. she loves that thing.
• she also looovees for me to sing her before she goes to sleep. she'll snuggle into my shoulder and say "song? sing?" we sing this "night night" song that my mom wrote for my little sister when she was Ellie's age..basically you sing everything you can imagine to sleep. when i finish, she'll say "again?" or she'll say, "twinkle twinkle?" and then we'll sing twinkle twinkle 5 or 6 times. she loves being sung before bed-time. i love being snuggled before her bed time.
• she says please and thank you, like this: "paallllleeeeshh?" and "take-yoo." i love that sweet little voice.
  
• when we're getting ready to go upstairs to take a bath, (which is still twice a day...she loves her bath SO MUCH that we take one in the morning and one at night...maybe that will change once we start paying our water bill??) we do a little waddle dance and sing "up up up to take a bath bath bath." she waddles just like i do and follows me all the way up the stairs. it's one of my favorite moments of the day.
•  she still LOVES books. she loves being read to and reading books on her own. her favorite book right now is "Papa, Please get the moon for me." she has a recent infatuation with the moon, which i think is absolutely adorable. she also recently loves "The Polar Express" thanks to Grandma Lynne. i love that she loves to read. 

she is just sweet as candy, this little Ellie girl.
if you've met her, you'd agree.
if you haven't, you must.

and thus concludes my Ellie week. hope you've enjoyed it.
and Ellie,
i hope you know how much your mama and dada love you. you're our joy.

{our cute + curious little bug}

xoxo

Ellie week part VI: a couple of random facts

it's late and i've been enjoying a lazy day with a slightly snotty nosed Ellie (which means slightly (and not so slightly) grumpy Ellie)....so i don't have pictures and thoughts gathered for a new Ellie week post...so instead, i decided i'd share just a couple random facts of the day...

Ellie made it to nursery today. yes, she's now in nursery. she didn't cry. and i didn't either (does that make me a bad mom??). in fact, she ran in there, hugged the nursery leader, turned around and waved me and M off and said "buh-bye." wow. i felt myself twittering a lot during the rest of church...turning to see if the door opening was someone coming to tell me what a cry-baby she was being or how mean she was being to the other kids...but no one came. and yes, you could say my mind wandered just a bit.....looks like sitting through 3 consecutive hours is going to take some getting used to. so Ellie's transition seems easy. mine...not so much. maybe it's time to have another kid??? (no, not an announcement).

we've also played a lot today.
we've watched some sesame street.
we've played with Elmo.
we've danced to Christmas music.
we've built some buildings such as this one:

and then Ellie enjoyed her favorite part...destroying the masterpiece:

and then we enjoyed a nice little snuggle...of which daddy captured on his phone (poor quality...frumpy mommy, but you get the idea).

now we're getting ready to eat some yummy gooey Caramel corn while snuggling up and watching the Holiday Inn, my all time favorite Christmas movie. i love Christmas time.

i have one or two Ellie posts left for this Ellie week.............
get excited.

xoxo

Ellie week part V: doin' the moonwalk

{Ellie girl doing some pirouettes on Halloween}

there are very few things Ellie loves more than music.
it's been that way since she was just an itty bitty and her Gammy sang her her first lullaby.

i remember when she used to be that mean little infant she once was (and she would cry nonstop) one of the only things that would give me relief was to dance to these classical baby CD's i had while holding in my arms all swaddled up. i'd put one of those songs on and she'd stop, mid-scream, and look right up at me with those big, constantly-teary -yes as if to either say: "you're crazy, mama- can you send me back?" or "yeah, you shake it mama. this is what i was born to do." i have a video of it somewhere...but i'm sure i wouldn't want to share it with you anyway because i probably was wearing my pj's, rockin my perma-frizzy-pony-tail that i had on top of my head for the first 3 months of Ellie's life, and had a swollen face- either from post-laborness or from crying (it was a shocking experience for me, becoming a mom)- and all of that combined with me dancing to Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons" would be just plain embarrassing for anyone other than me to behold.

however, we did post this video when she was just a few weeks old as proof that she was born to shake it:



{wasn't she such a teenie!? i forgot what a little squirt she was. so cute...even if she was a big meanie. :)}

well, it isn't hard to imagine that her passion lives on...she still loves to dance.
she loves to twirl and pirouette.
she loves to shake her bum (that's a new trick).
she loves to stomp her feet reeallly reallly fast.
and she loves to stick jumps and tricks in there wherever she can.
unfortunately she was being a bit of a stinker when i was trying to get her to dance on demand today. but i did get a few moves, including prop-work and the moon-walk. check it out:

{note: it's kinda long. and kinda boring- and yes, you'll get annoyed by my voice- but it's just to give you the idea of what we do around our house all day every day. we dance. and i try to get her to do other cute and slightly embarrassing moves}



Ellie also lovvvveeess to listen to music.
she loves for me to sing "twinkle twinkle little star" over and over again (it's her favorite song. i didn't even know 18 month-olds had favorite songs).
my favorite is that she'll attempt to sing it too.
makes me smile so big.
{unfortunately you have to tolerate listening to my yucky-mom-singing-voice yet again to get to hear her sing twinkle twinkle....but i promise, you'll be rewarded at the end when she whips out her new favorite trick: flying like tinkerbell}.



i'm so grateful she loves music.
because i think of any language in the whole world, music is the universal one.
it speaks to my soul.
and i hope that it will continue to speak to hers.

xoxo

Ellie week part IV: a pirate's parrot

{Ellie chattin' it up, as usual}

one of Ellie's greatest talents is her vocabulary.
you know those parrots that live on pirates' shoulders and repeat everything their master says?
yeah, Ellie is my little parrot on my shoulder.
she repeats EVERYTHING.
if i say "cool!" she says "coooool!"
if i say "Miiiikkeee?" she says "Miiiikkkeee?"
if i say "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" she says.....
ok, so she doesn't say everything.
but almost everything.

i think her mind must be racing a million miles a minute-- even when she's sleeping.
example: this morning, i went in to wake her up (sometimes she can be a bit of a sleepy head) and right as she stood up and looked at me with her squinty eyes, and she said in her groggy voice: "ball? doggie?" i really wish i knew what she was dreaming about...

she loves to tell me all of her body parts- which i think is adorable. we'll just be sitting there building some building with our blocks and she'll point to my nose and say "nose." or we'll be eating breakfast and notice her toes and say "hi toes!" so cute.

{note: yes, i let Ellie still wear her Halloween pajamas even though it's almost Christmas. so sue me. also, she gets that crazy bed-head from her daddy....... finally, notice the squinty eyes. i love morning-squinty eyes! so funny/cute}



my favorite words she says right now are "de-ish-ush" (delicious) and "yu you" (love you).
i caught them on tape today for your viewing pleasure.

{note: please ignore my "high-pitched-mommy-voice"..........i can be really annoying..}



oh how i love this little pirate's parrot-chatter-bug.

xoxo

Ellie week part III: technologically advanced

 {Ellie on the airplane, pushing the buttons on the arm-rest to change the channel. seriously!?}

the kids these days come out smarter and smarter, i swear.
Ellie is no exception.
i can't help but think back to when i was a kid when computers were the size of houses, cordless phones were THE BOMB!, and cell phones were the size of watermelons (think Julia Roberts on My Best Friend's Wedding...makes me laugh everytime she pulls out that brick!) that only rich people had in their cars.
then, the cell phone movement happened...and suddenly all the cool kids in high school had them.
i wasn't cool.
you see, i didn't get my first cell-phone till i was in college (i know, i was so deprived. i even walked to school, barefoot, uphill, both-ways, too. so sad).
i remember how cool i thought i was when i got that first phone (that teeny-screened nokia which died like 10 times...but which fostered many hours of playing "snake"- i owned that game)...and how it transformed my life. that was only like 6 years ago, folks.

and then there's Ellie. wow. she will never ever know what it's like to live without a cell phone. in fact, she pretty much thinks my iPhone is HERS. seriously. i can't even pull it out to make a phone-call or answer a phone-call without her saying "pone?" and her grabbing at it furiously.

 she not only knows how to unlock it, she knows how to navigate on it, choose which app she wants, exit out of an app she's sick of, and actually interact and play games on it without my help (such as shape games, alphabet games and number games). it kind of freaks me out.
and while it bugs me sometimes...to the point of even considering buying her an iTouch, just so that i can have my phone back (which is completely ridiculous...and yet i am constantly browsing for good deals on them), i am absolutely amazed by her technological savvyness. and i love her adorable, determined, pouty face she makes when she's playing with it....it's as if she's saying, "this is serious business, mom. do NOT interrupt me."

it makes me realize that this really is going to be a crazy generation.

more about Ellie to come tomorrow!
(p.s. i'm loving Ellie week! it's so fun to tell you all about my little best friend--and the reasons why i love her. hope you're not too overwhelmed by it :) )

xoxo

Ellie week part II: a belly full of apple juice

another little fact about Ellie for you on this "Ellie Week":

i'm 100% certain that this pot belly:

is filled 100% with apple juice.
the evidence:

 

 

 

 

and what a cute little pot belly it is.

it's so fun to kiss.

and gobble.

and tickle.

and to hear her point to it and say "button," for belly-button.

 

question: when do pot belly's become un-cute?

because i'm pretty sure i couldn't rock that look very well.

but for now, i'm hopin' hers stays for a long, long time.

xoxo

welcome to Ellie week. part I: playful Ellie

so, it's been a while since i've posted about Ellie.
a long while.
and she's so big now.
like she says sentences like "tank-you mama."
and she jumps with both feet off of the ground.
which surprises me every time.
and she's basically like a 16 year old these days.
ok not really.
but i feel like there is just SO much to say about her...i couldn't possibly fit it all into one big stew post or one big top 10 list. i just can't do it. SO!
i am going to devote an entire week of posts to my Ellie girl.
that's right.
you're going to get a new Ellie post every single day this week.
because she turns 18 months this week (whaaatt the?).
and because this is my blog.
and i can do that sort of thing on my blog.

Ellie has become such a playful little thing.
in fact, rather than sit and eat her breakfast...or sit and do anything really, she'll look at me with those big brown/green (still no definitive color) eyes and say, "plllllllaayy??" i have to convince her that eating is necessary and playing is secondary...but i'm not sure she believes me.
she loves playing with her baby, playing peekaboo, pretending to fly like tinkerbell (which i will highlight in a future post), playing with all sorts of bouncy balls (basketballs, soccerballs, etc), jumping, dancing, and laughing whenever anyone else laughs.
her favorite is to play WITH somebody (even though she does have moments of independence, for which i am grateful). in fact, when she realizes no one is playing with her, she'll come up to you, grab you by your index finger, and drag you next to her toys and say "toys. plllaaayy." and i think to myself, "man, you know what you want and you know how to go and get it, dontcha kiddo?"
i love this playful, interactive 18 month Ellie.

more fun facts about this adorable toddler to come tomorrow...
xoxo

belated thankfulness

wow, i just got on my blog to re-read about my thanksgiving.
i couldn't find anything.
didn't i blog about it??
didn't i upload pictures for that purpose?
didn't i sit here and type out how i'm a grateful person and love my family and how i don't really like turkey that much?
and then i realized-- i never posted anything about thanksgiving.
no thankful post.
not a word about turkey.
or gravy.
or spending time with family.
not word about pilgrims. or indians.
not a single lick of gratitude to be found anywhere.
what?
are you kidding me?
i can be so...............ungrateful, huh?
so, before i go on and tell you how extremely excited i am for the holidays, and how much fun i am having visiting my family in their new abode in southern California, and before i tell you about my first 5k that i ran, and before i ramble off on some rant or tangent or some explanation why i think Ellie is so cute, i will now attempt to give a belated shout-out to thanksgiving with my top 11 reasons to be thankful this year (because i just couldn't squeeze em in to 10 reasons)...

ddrrruummmrrollll:

11. i am thankful for friends. i am thankful for memories we've made with friends this last year. i am thankful for the friendships we have that have stood the test of time and distance as we've moved so far away from most of them. i am thankful for little texts and emails and phone calls that boost me up more than anyone of them could ever even know. i am thankful for old friendships and new friendships. i am grateful to have girls to talk to about this crazy journey called motherhood and life- and i'm grateful to have couples to watch our favorite shows with, go out to dinner with, and just laugh with. and so, since most all of you are my friends, i am grateful for you.

10. i am so thankful that M has a job. what a crazy world we are living in right now. i thank the heavens every day that M can provide for our little family. we truly are blessed.

9. i am so thankful for my family. i'm so thankful they let me barge on their lives so frequently...whether it's to their house or on the phone or through texts or emails...they are always there. it reminds me of our family song "You've Got a Friend," by James Taylor (or Carol King, take your pick) (and yes, we are that cheesy family that has a theme song...but i know you're secretly thinking, hm, i want a family song):

"When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring , summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend."

i'm thankful i've got a friend in my family. yesterday. tomorrow. every day. forever.

8. i am so thankful for M's family. for giving up every nook and cranny of their lovely house to US, our messes, our junk, and our overwhelming presence. for being so generous with their time and resources in helping us get our first home. for being patient with us. for listening to us and talking with us. for being my friends. and most of all, for loving our little Ellie so much. it warms my heart to see how much they love her...and how much she lights up and loves them in return.

7. i'm thankful for Sesame Street. seriously. Elmo is the best babysitter in the whole wide world! (now don't get me wrong here.. i'm always there...don't go submitting my name for Child Protective Services or anything like that.....) but really, i don't know how you moms who don't let your kids watch tv do it. how do you shower? how do you make dinner? how do you fly on airplanes? Ellie is an ABSOLUTE ANGEL on airplanes, thanks to Sesame Street. oh Sesame Street, how i am forever indebted to you.

6. i am thankful for laughter. and for the chances we are given to laugh each day. for example: today, i was going on this breath-taking run along the coast here in Dana Point, CA...well, i took my parents' Golden Retriever, Lucy, with me. everything was going just fine until all of a sudden, Lucy stopped in the middle of this paved walkway...which doubled as a golf-cart path for the nearby ritzy golf course...and pooped. you heard me: POOPED. well, everywhere there were signs saying "CLEAN UP DOG WASTE." but i hadn't brought a plastic bag. i wasn't anticipating cleaning up dog poop on my run. i mean, i have a toddler- i clean enough poop as it is. i don't need, nor do i want dog poop in my life. but there it was- staring at me. i had to do something. so, i looked at it one last time- real long, and real good- cursing just a little bit in my brain, and decided to kick it. yes, i kicked the warm poop to the side of the road with my lovely running shoes. ICK. what's a girl to do?

5. i'm thankful for music. music dictates the whisperings of my little hum-drum heart. current faves:
john mayer's new cd "battle studies" (even though i'm remaining impartial to the phrase: "who says you can't get stoned..." what the?)
david archuleta's christmas cd (A-MAZ-ING.......i  l-o-v-e it)
dashboard confessional's new cd "Alter the Ending" (brings me back to my high school and early college days)
and pretty much any and all other Christmas music....brings goosebumps to my arms and tears to my eyes.

4. i'm thankful for my religion- my beliefs- my Heavenly Father. i'm so grateful to know who i am, and where i am going. i am so grateful for prayer, which gives me so much hope in such a hopeless world....and helps me to not feel alone when i start feeling lonely.

3. i am thankful for my health. it seems like i take it for granted so often. but i am grateful at this time of my life with a busy toddler and a fast-paced world that somehow i am able to keep up...and not be out of breath all the time...or wait, maybe i am out of breath all the time?

2. i am thankful for food. i love food. so much. i've loved learning how to cook lots of yummy foods this year- and i've loved finding new yummy places to eat since we've moved to Northern Cal. i really really hope that heaven has some sort of food. because i think i might be really disappointed if there isn't any. like, i may ask for an earth-guest-pass to come and eat food once a week if there isn't any in heaven. i love it that much.

1. i am thankful for my own little family- for M- who is the perfect person for me...who somehow puts up with all my irrational, overly emotional rantings and crazinesses...and who i know adores me and loves me...and who i love and appreciate more than words can express. and for Ellie, my sweet little almost-18-month old little Ellie who has brought more joy, tears, personality, stubbornness, and love to our home than i ever could've imagined.

and so, i am thankful.
my cup runneth over....

ok, now that i have my thankful closure--

December, you can come now...
with all of your holidayness...
holly,
silver bells,
sleighs,
stars,
mangers,
stockings,
shopping,
baking,
cinnamon,
family togetherness,
evergreen,
sparkles,
mistletoe,
peppermint,
and so much more...

bring on the holidays!

xoxo

normal...kinda-sorta...

{this photo is over a year old of our little family...but i love how you can see the love on our faces...well, other than Ellie's face...she's at that age where she's captivated by the fact that she can move those wiggly things attached to her hands called "fingers"... but on M&M's faces...oh sweet love.}

i'm feeling a little more normal now that my better half has returned from the desert of Arizona (at least for a week).
i don't know what happens to me when M travels...
for the first couple days all is hunky dory.
i'm glad to miss him and have a little break-- not in a mean way-- just in a "sometimes he drives me nuts" sorta way.
but then after those first couple of days- i get all whacked out.
my independent self goes out the window.
i forget who i am.
i become all helpless and weepy.
i start going in stores like BevMo thinking they're BigLots and i can't sleep at night..and when i do, i start having terrible nightmares of him having affairs with really hot, tall, blonde, sexy women somewhere in some Casino in Arizona (do they even have Casinos in Arizona? regardless- it's a dream). but then, i wake up, and i'm all mad at him. as if he really did something.
and then i start listening to sad, sappy love songs that make me feel all lonely and even more helpless.
so i put on movies like Pride & Prejudice to imagine my M as Mr. Darcy.

oh gosh, i'm that pathetic girl.
the one i always scoffed at. made fun of. swore i'd never in a million years be.
that's me.
sigh.

but now he's back.
and i'm back.
and i am swearing to myself that i won't be that ridiculously irrational next time he leaves.
which is on Monday.
holy cow--the thought of him leaving is already stressing me out again.
how do you wives do it who have hubby's that travel all the time? don't you hate it? i do. but i'm sure you got that from this strange rant of a post.

and so, the point of it all: i'm so thankful for Thanksgiving this week (how cliche!). i consider holidays little gifts nowadays- ones that i look forward to opening for weeks in advance to recharge my emotional batteries. i hope you can recharge yours, too.

happy thanksgiving week to you!
xoxo

an autopilot post.

i realized something strange was going on in Sacrament meeting on Sunday.
after wrestling a little with Ellie...and convincing her that the bread we brought from home was just as good as the bread in the tray, and that the drinks we had were sufficient to quench her thirst...even more sufficient, in fact, than the thimble-sized cups of water they administer...we were taking a little bit of a breather as she played with Grandma sitting on the bench with us. (side note: having a Grandma is the best in Sacrament meeting. for us + for Ellie.)

so, back to our breather..
i look over to M.
and was a little disturbed.
i shockingly whispered, "what the heck are you doing?"
he looked down at his hands that were poking and massaging the bum of Ellie's undressed baby (for some reason, Ellie refuses to keep her babies clothed. i think she is saying to us: you see, us babies are far happier naked. take a hint, M-O-M).
nervously, M chuckled.
and said, "i didn't even realize i was doing that..i swear."
and we laughed.
and he put it down.
i think he was facing a bad case of the auto-pilots.

then, yesterday, i was so excited to notice a BigLots! on the corner here. i have a couple items on my Christmas list (insert WHOA here-- Christmas shopping already??) that i thought i might find at BigLots!, but i had to get home, so i decided i'd go back out later. later came around so i grabbed my BigLots! list, my cute little baby E, and we hit the road. so we were driving along, and i was thinking about Christmas gifts, which led me to think about Christmas recipes, which led me to think of dinner recipes, which led me to think about what i was going to make for dinner. all of a sudden, i noticed the sign behind me. i'd passed it! so i went back.
i then started thinking about Gregory House. (another side note: does anyone watch House? i really love that show). so was thinking about House which led me to think about how happy i was that he had changed and how i wished that Cutty would see his new good heart soon.
dang, where am i?
where is that place?
you guessed it. i passed it again.

well, third time's the charm right?
wrong.
i was thinking about a lot of stuff that i don't even remember while entertaining Ellie and missed it all over again.

so, after three times of missing the blasted entrance, i finally got in the parking lot, parked he car, and grabbed the kid and put her on my hip. we walked towards BigLots! and opened the door.
i felt confused.

there was no random electronic section.
there was not a random toy section.
there was no random aisles or candy.
there were, however, several assortments of kitchen items.... mostly wine glasses and bottle openers.
i then noticed that this place had lots of wine.
lots and lots of wine.
and rum.
and beer.
and probably vodka.
(those are pretty much all of the alcoholic beverages i know. yes, i'm an ignorant, non-drinker-type)
i took a double-take to the sign, and finally realized it said BEVMO!   not   BIGLOTS!
crap.
autopilot, i tell you.

even later,
i pulled out from my stash a pack of peanut m&m's.
(yes i have a stash. it may or not be located in a drawer under my bed. no, M does not know about this stash. no, i do not intend on him finding out about this stash. enough said.)
i began researching coupons.
not reading blogs.
not shopping.
researching COUPONS.
(yes, my interests are becoming a little bleak).
well, 3 seconds after i opened the bag, i reached in for a few more to pop in my lil mouth and much to my dismay....

the package was empty.
what?
someone stole my m&m's!
Ellie, are you eating my m&m's?
wait..Ellie is sleeping.
M, are you eating my m&m's?
wait, he's in Arizona.

or....maybe, just maybe...
i kept poppin' them and poppin' them in my mouth, without even realizing it, until they were all gone.
which means i didn't even get to enjoy them.
because i was eating them brainlessly.
autopilot-edly.
bummer-dee-dummer-edly.

i don't really know what else to say.
other than i often find myself in auto pilot mode these days...
for no explicable reason.
it's pretty easy to live brainlessly, i guess.


oh yeah, and i really want some more peanut m&m's.

xoxo

a stew post

what's a stew post, you ask?
funny, M just asked the same thing.
here's our convo 2.5 seconds ago:

m: you bloggin?
me: mmm hmmm
m: what are you bloggin' about?
me: stew.
m: who's stew?
me: not the person...
m: the food?
me: mmm, not really the food either.
m: hmm. that's random.

and it is. kinda random. let me elaborate:

you know how stew is usually the meal you make when you don't know what else to make...and you have lots of random ingredients that would otherwise go unused so you throw them all together in one giant pot and hope the flavors fuse together ok to make something slightly tasty (whoa...longest run-on sentence ever)??

well, tonight this post is going to be like that. a stew post, if you will. because...i have lots to say...lots of random thoughts. some that go together, most that don't....so i'm just gonna throw them out there, stir 'em up real good, and hope that the flavor is slightly tasty to keep you dipping that spoon back in and slurping it up.

ingredient #1:
Ellie is big. she's a full-blown toddler now- yelling during sacrament meeting, dumping out snacks at target, laughing just because everyone else is laughing, dancing all day every day, saying tons of new words a mile a minute, and even singing "twinkle twinkle." my favorite new thing that she does is come up to me when she sees me putting some piece of clothing on, like a sweater, and she comes, fans it out, and says "cuuuuuuuttteee!" what a girly girl she is. she melts my heart.

ingredient #2:
did you know there are only 44 days till Christmas?? 44! i'm so excited to actually be THOUGHTFUL about our gift-giving this year. usually i'm so busy with school or this thing or that other thing that i don't get to be as thoughtful with the gifts i give as i would like to be. but i'm not so busy these days anymore (whoa, i'm finally coming clean). so! i've been thinking about gift-giving....and geesh. please tell me, does anyone else struggle with getting gifts for dads & hubby's as much as i do?? HELP.

ingredient #3
i've been kinda bummed out lately. you see- we just found out we aren't going to be able to move into our house until January. there are lots of frivolous details on the why's and how-comes that i won't expound upon...and i guess i've just been super bummed out because i reeeaaalllyyy wanted to decorate and set up our new place for Christmas. silly, i know. what's the big deal? it's just a couple more months of waiting. but, even though i'm bummed about it, i truly feel blessed to have M's parents, who so generously are allowing us to take over every nook and cranny of their once-clean house. i don't know what we would do without them!

ingredient #4
i'm doing the ultimate "mom" thing these days...
i'm getting into COUPONING. ahhhh. what a scary word. i actually went and bought a binder today to help me get them all organized. i'm really excited. anyway, i just had to tell you guys about this website that i've been using a ton lately. it's called hip2save.com. it is AWESOME. she is amazing- and posts all sorts of deals on her blog. she even posts how-to videos and stuff. i've found some truly amazing deals the last little bit (for example, i bought the Blue-Ray Up and Monster's Inc today for $14.00 total....thats like $7.00 a DVD!). anyway, i know that i shouldn't be so excited about cutting paper, but i am. do you have any great couponing sites you'd like to share? let me know.

ingredient #5
i am so grateful for television. i know i am super shallow to admit this, but i don't really care. i love having something fun to look forward to watching. the Office has been HILARIOUS this season- last week's episode made me laugh out loud at moments. and Glee- wow. i have the songs on repeat on my iPod. then there's SYTYCD-- i already have my faves. and my current fave: House. this has been my favorite season of House so far. i love this rennovated version of Gregory House.

ingredient #6
has anyone noticed how google has been doing sesame street icon stuff all week? i love google. they're so original. and creative. makes me wish i was more creative. and original.

ingredient #7
i just walked away from putting Ellie down for a nap. as i was walking to the door, she stood up, looked at me and said "yuv you." i cried.

ingredient #8
i finally received my teaching certificate in the mail. i cried again.

ingredient #9
Ellie goes into nursery in four Sundays. i will cry every Sunday until then...and then i will probably cry again...but those tears may or not be tears of joy. those of you with kids understand :)

ingredient #10
it's been 2 weeks since a young man in my family's neighborhood committed suicide.
2 friends of ours have recently been diagnosed with cancer.
i feel like i keep having reminders lately how invincible we may feel...yet how temporary, and precious this life is. each day is a gift. it truly is. having a healthy body is a gift. waking up to a new day is a gift. sure, crappy things happen. gas might get sprayed in your face. or you may have to move away from your family, friends, loved ones, and your home. or maybe you got in a fight with your spouse. or maybe you aren't your ideal weight. but then these more serious tragedies happen around you- and you realize- i'm being so frivolous. finding joy in today is essential- because i don't know (nordoes anyone else, for that matter) how many today's i have left...and i'm determined to leave this earthly place with joy & love in my heart. and for people to know that i was joyful and loving, too.

ingredient #11
this past weekend was Stake Conference here.
did you know that members in Northern California are lucky enough to have their stake conference on the Temple Grounds? isn't that a-maz-ing?? it was so neat to be on the Temple Grounds for a Sunday meeting like Stake Conference. nothing brings peace like the Temple.

and so, on that peaceful note, i will end my stew post.
it was a random stew.
sometimes they end up that way.
thanks for listening, and slurping up my randomicity today.
oh, and one last ingredient, for good flavor....
i love you, blogging world.


xoxo

my internal clock is outta whack.

this is the only explanation i have for the whackiness i feel at this moment.

it all started when i decided to wear white shorts today.
let's start first with the "white" part.
yes, i know you're not supposed to wear white after labor day.
but i coupled it with a purple top and a brown sweater...doesn't that make it fallish enough?
second part to address:
i was wearing SHORTS today. sounds groovy right?
well, it is. and i know i shouldn't complain about this wonderful weather i'm having. in fact, i'm not complaining about it. i love it. but i think my internal weather clock is all messed up with this perpetually-nice-weather-junk. every morning i put on some jeans and a shirt and a sweater...a very fallish combination in my opinion....only to be dripping in sweat by noon and wishing i had decided on a better clothing ensemble 4 hours earlier. my face is one giant zit from all this sweat (gross, i know). i feel all weird that the Holidays are coming because the weather hasn't even felt a glimmer of "crisp" outside. how can you eat "apple crisp cobbler" if it's not "crisp" outside? i don't want to think about eating warm apple pie in 80 degree weather.
and now with this fall back (even though it's not even fall here yet with all this 80 degree weather stuff) stuff, i'm starting my day bright and early at 4:00 am...because that's what you do when you are out of whack. you wake up even earlier than you would've before you fell back...and all of a sudden become the early bird who is not only getting the worm, but the whole worm farm.

anyway.

so my day started with some not-so-good karma as i headed out with my white shorts/brown sweater combo.....to my first stop: gas station. well, as many of you moms know, getting gas isn't just a leisurly activity anymore, where you think about your family, what you are going to get done that day, and what you think you might give Harold and Bertha for Christmas. no, no, no. it is now a multi-tasking-one-man-band event for your little tots. you see, you have to keep those kids entertained who are strapped down to the now-stopped-vehicle so that you dont' have to suffer long stares and embarrassment from other people hearing the yelps, whines, and screams of your bored child. and so, i was busy doing some entertaining when i heard the gas knozzle "click," letting me know that it was done. so i finished "wheels on the bus" gave Ellie one more "tickle" and one last "goochie goo" and went straight for the handle.

i've always been a little over-zealous.

you see, the click must have been from my neighbor's knozzle...because mine was still going...full force. SPLAASSSH. SPRRRAAAYYY. GASSSPP. (and maybe a four letter word...maybe). yeah, i got soaked in gasoline. smelly, icky, gasoline.

i mean, really, i wasn't expecting the whole "never been kissed" scenario to actually happen just because i wore some white shorts. give. me. a. break.

so, i nervously looked around to see if anyone noticed (or if anyone DIDN'T notice is more like it), and hopped into my once-clean-car....and then was almost suffocated by the intoxicating smell as i debated whether or not to go home and change...you see, getting out the door is a feat in itself...we were now out the door, almost to our destination....did i really smell that bad? oh well. it's only an hour. who cares.

so stinky-gasoline-marci takes Ellie into Target to do some post-Halloween shopping and grocery shopping. Ellie wasn't too pleased with the experience. i'm sure she was having trouble breathing with all that gasoline she was inhaling. poor thing. so i hurried as quickly as i could with some of my little red-lined treasures...and went to the cashier. by this moment, Ellie was d-o-n-e. how did i know that, you ask?
well, i think the lollipop Ellie chucked at the cashier's face, which then landed behind the cash register, was a pretty good indication of her done-ness.
to top it off: my wallet was left on the drivers seat of the car after my gasoline incident, instead of being in its designated spot in the diaper bag. "um, sir, can you suspend my order, after you wipe that stickiness off your face, while i go get my wallet, p-p-please?"

yeah. not the best string of events.

luckily, i came home, plopped the kid in her crib for a nap and some alone time,  and regained composure by gawking over the sexiness of Jude Law in the Holiday while eating a whole jar of Trader Joe's Salsa and a bag of chips all by myself (second time this month).

when Ellie woke up, i was recharged and rejuvenated (thanks Jude) and decided to make us a little comfort food for dinner: spaghetti. well, as i tried to slurp my noodles as politely as possible, i looked over at Ellie, who was not politely eating her food, but rather smashing it with her fingers, throwing it on her lap, and simultaneously inhaling it through her mouth and nose....and all with a big smile on her face.

the thought came to me then...like a pile of bricks whacking me on my outta-whack-head: i need to be more like Ellie and enjoy the mess...because sometimes, the mess is the best part.

xoxo

happppy haalloowween...

...from our Neverland to yours...

...and from the cutest little Tinkerbell ever!

xoxo

three simple confessions

{brought to you today by youtube}

1. i'm secretly ticked off at the world series tonight for delaying glee. i know, what kind of American am i? isn't baseball as American as it gets? and yes, i know Glee can be.........naughty. but it's sorta my guilty pleasure.....cuz i'm in LOVE with the music. i watch the music videos over and over again on our DVR while i'm cleaning, making dinner, or just hangin' out around the house. the day they come out with a soundtrack, i'm sold. my most favorite song lately is "somebody to love."



2. i love sesame street. i feel like i can finally consider myself a true stay-at-home mom now that i've found my inner love for this show. i guess i just love how they appeal to parents with celebrities and little parodies of shows. my most favorite one lately is "preschool musical." check it out.



3. i think i laugh the hardest when other people fall or hurt themselves. i know i should show sympathy. but i don't. maybe it's because i'm super clumsy? (let's be honest, gravity is NOT my friend). anyway, i think i've watched this grape-stomping video at least a hundred times...and i laugh harder and harder every time i hear that poor lady groan. oh man, i'm so glad that wasn't me. then again, i bet that lady is glad she didn't fall down the stairs in front of everyone in a quiet church...



more confessions to come soon...
sooner than these ones did, i promise :)

xoxo

a lot.

hi.
i'm finally blogging again. it's a multi-tasking-type-of-a-blog-post.
you see, i'm in the bathroom while Ellie busily splishes and splashes with her crazy-bath-antics and i'm making myself write something, anything, from my phone. i've wanted to write about so many things lately-- but i seem to have been in a funk of sorts. not sure the exact cause of the funkiness- but there has been a lot going on the last few weeks:
a lot of emotions.
a lot of excitement.
a lot of grumpiness (of which i will graciously spare the details).
a lot of lonely moments now that M is officially a working man.
a lot of fun moments deciding paint colors and backyard landscaping and favorite baseboards.
a lot of stressful moments making all of theses house decisions with a crazy 16 month old who firmly believes the world is her stage...and therefore acts out randomly and in the most inconvenient ways possible.
a lot of anxious moments wondering how all this house stuff will come together.



a lot of visits to see the "puntins" (pumpkins) in various locations throughout Utah and northern California.
a lot of costume planning (you know me and my Chapman-family-costume-ensembles....you just wait for our reveal this year. it's gonna be epic).
a lot of missing family and friends.
a lot of chasing a crazy child in every direction imaginable.
a lot of wishing i was better at putting myself out there to be kind and make new friends.
a lot of phone conversations to make up for my lack of friend-making-skills.
and a lot of unsolicited (and solicited) love, snuggles, hugs and kisses from Ellie (and mr. M, of course) to help me feel that what President Gordon B Hinckley once said is very true:
it will all work out.

and so i wrote a lot about a lot of nothing.
and will now promise to write something with substance tomorrow.
or maybe the next day.

xoxo

a collection of collages and letters

dear Utah,
i already miss your mountainous presence.
i don't know when i'll see you again--but you have a stamp-print on my heart.
i'm proud to say: i'm a Utahn, through and through.

dear Gardner's Village,
thank you for allowing me to be the craziest version of myself.
thank you for encouraging women to let down and release our inner-witches.
thank you for playing crazy music, having adorable shops, and good-clean-fun.
one suggestion for your suggestion box:
have a sign marking your poop-infested rivers in dark places.
i never want to unknowingly trudge through one of those again.
p.s. you owe me a new pair of shoes.
p.s.s. i can't wait to see you again next year.
p.s.s.s. thank you friends and family who came and found me at witches night out. it made the night so sweet and sugary to see you, all witched out. caaacckllleee cacccklleee.

dear discovery gateway,
thank you for letting us discover you.
ellie loved playing in your beehive.
she chased after every bouncy ball in that hive for over and hour.
and would've stayed there all day- but my attention span couldn't handle that.
thank you for having cool magnets, animation kits, a giant doll-house, a fun grocery store, a fun horse to ride, a helicopter, and baby strollers for toddlers to push all around the place. i will never have the amount of toys sufficient to make our house as cool as yours.

dear childhood house,
i apologize for carving my initials in that secret place.
i also apologize for spilling nail-polish in several visible places on your carpet.
more importantly, i wanted to thank you for watching over me as i became the person i am today.
thank you for being a good listener...but not a gossiper...about all the conversations you heard me have.
thank you for never telling my secrets from the doorstep or the love-couch.
thank you for being the place that held so many dinners, so many fights, so many prayers, so much music, and so much love.
you will always be MY house.
and i'll always remember you.

dear family,
how do i live without you?
i can't.
you'll always have a piece of me.
thanks for being so fun.
and so funny.
and such good listeners.
and laughers.
i can't wait to see you again.

dear halloween,
Ellie and I are so excited for you to come. we dress up all the time. we eat candy all the time. we talk about pumpkins all the time. we wear black and orange all the time. we dress up as witches together. we can't wait for our costumes to make their debuts. thanks for being so festive and fun.

dear cute, new, humble house,
please hurry up and get ready for us to move in. i can't wait to see you. and love you. and make you our first home.

xoxoxo,
Marci

cackle cackle

remember this from last year??

well, my friends.
the time has come once again to get your witch on!
i love witches night out at Gardner Village.
and you should too.

so!

drop your plans tonight--
grab a sitter (or tell your hubby he's on duty for once)...
drag along your favorite estrogen-filled witch(es)..
and come enjoy the cackling, the broomsticking, the dancing, the cauldrons, and the inevitable crazy fun!
i'd love to see all of you, my favorite people, celebrating your inner witch.
because let's be honest-- it's in all of us, waiting to be unleashed and discovered.

hope to see you there,
and your little dog too!!!
(there had to be at least one witch cliche in this post..)

p.s. only X chromosomes allowed.
just thought i should mention that.

p.s.s. let me know if/when you are going....so that i can look for you. i'm serious. it would make my day to see you!

xoxo

puntins.

i'm alive.
and very well, thank you.
because i love october.
do you love october as much as i love october?
i love the smells.
the coolness.
the perpetual birthday celebrations that go on in our crazy family.
witches (and witches night out!).
pumpkins.
cute leggings.
the colors.
the sky.
fall.

i'm also very well because i'm home...enjoying all my favorite october things...and much, much more, including (but not limited to):

 enjoying the freezing cold utah air.
(yes, i'm already a california weather wimp).
enduring yucky colds.
eating yummy food.
laughing lots of laughs.
shopping lots and lots.
talking till our voice-boxes are mute and our ears are fried.
drinking a jamba a day.
saying more goodbyes.
wiping lots of tears (and snotty noses).
and lovin' all the "puntins" (ellie's cute way of saying "pumpkins").

feels oh-so-good to be home,
one. last. time.

xoxo

i'm sick.

homesick that is.
i love conference- but man, it made me miss home like something fierce this time around.
i wanted to wrap my arms around those big utah mountains.
i wanted to reach up to the sky and feel the storm that everyone was facebook-status-updating about every five seconds.
i wanted to be cozy by the fire.
i missed home.
and not just my utah home.
but my heavenly home.
my heavenly home that is full of love- the kind of love that so many of those brilliant spiritual men talked about. the kind of love that helps me see good in everyone around me. the kind of love that helps me be more expressive about it. the kind of love that helps me serve others without wanting anything in return. the kind of love that makes me forget about myself and my insignificant problems. the kind of love that is Godly love.
homesick, i tell you.
homesick.

i've had the following song on replay for the last few hours.
it's my fave.
for lots and lots of reasons.
some heavenly.
some earthly.
maybe i'll tell you those reasons someday.
just maybe.



listening to sappy love songs about rainbows and dreams is what we girls do when our hubby's are out of town and missing their moms. and dads. and brother(s). and sister(s). and dog lucy. and aunts. and uncles. and friends. am i right? or am i right?

lucky for me, i get to wrap my arms around those utah mountains....
tomorrow!!

i'm comin' home (michael buble style)!
i'm comin' home to snatch the doorknob from my bedroom that i told you about a while back...and to say goodbye to my house. i'm comin' home to celebrate our birthdays (my mom's, my sister-in-law's, and mine). i'm comin' home to go to witches night out. i'm comin' home to shop. i'm comin' home to eat. i'm comin' home to fill up my crazy cuban canteen.
because while i'm so happy here and love it...
i'm a mama's girl.
and a mama's girl needs her mama.
and a mama needs her mama's girl.
(and i need my dad and sisters and brother too, but you know what i mean).

point to this random ranting:
there may be a slight blogging hiatus.
or a large one.
depends on how much fun i'm having... :)

xoxo

an early b-day celebration in my new favorite city

i think M was feelin' bad a couple months ago when he realized that he'd be outta town for my birthday for a work training. if i'm being onest, i wanted to put him in the dog house....though i realize it is the first of many things he'll probably be missing in our lifetime together.

but ladies and gentlemen, he's outta the dog house with this wonderful San Francisco outing he planned for us last night. check this out....
on the itinerary:

• g+g chapman get Ellie for the afternoon (so we'd be baby free!) (thanks g+g!!)
  

• a ride on the train (bart) into San Francisco

• the final Giants game of the season ( i ♥ baseball games...you can't get more American than that..unless you add peanuts and hot dogs, that is)

• a walk exploring and shopping in the city (discovering Union Square and Market Street)

• an early dinner at Osha, a very yummy Thai restaurant

• a frantic run trying to find Ghirardelli square...only to realize my iPhone directed us to a Ghirardelli shop instead of the square..........which led us to riding the bus (aka the Muni) all around town until we finally found it and had the moooosssttt delicious butterscotch, caramel, hot fudge sundae EVER (which i most definitely paid for later-- i'm lactose intolerant, remember?)

• a taxi ride with a classic cabbie to take us to our final GRAND destination...........

• the grand finale:

             front-row balcony seats to see Wicked in Orpheum theater (which was uh--maz-ing! even more amazing than i had remembered it being when i saw it 5 years ago).

it just doesn't get better than a date in a city, eating sunflower seeds while watching homeruns go into the bay, eating yummy food, slurping a delicious sundae, and seeing a fun show...all with the company man of my dreams. thanks my Mr. for a perfectly splendid day in my new favorite city. i could get used to this "two weeks of birthday celebrations" thang.

xoxo

p.s. am i convincing any of you to come and visit me yet???
yes, i still need friends.
i'm told it takes time.
but i never was the patient type :)

getting reacquainted

i think i may need to reintroduce you to this little person:

meet Elizabeth.

we call her Ellie around here.

you see, with all of this house hunting (which ended TODAY!...yes, we bought a house...details coming soon), moving, site-seeing, stressing, relaxing, and playing, i've neglected updating you on my little Ellie's life the last few weeks.

well, let me get you two reacquainted...because my blog is a lot cooler with her in it.

Ellie is a long + lean 15 month old, who looovvvves elmo. she kisses elmo. she hugs elmo. she lets elmo have some of her drink. she loves watching elmo on the big t.v. she loves to dance when elmo sings. elmo is her one and only true love.

Ellie also loves making animal sounds. she would look at pictures of animals all day long, telling you every animal sound to go along with it. i found this iPhone app that allows her to push on the animal and it makes the sound. it's cute for the first 20 seconds...but you see, she wants to do it for like 20 hours straight. she'll see my phone and say "anmal" for animal...meaning, "mom, pull out the animal sounds now, wouldya?" sometimes, i do...and then i fall asleep because there's only so much a mama can take.

Ellie also loves real life animals. as soon as we go outside, she says "tat" (for cat) and looks everywhere for the kitty named Twinkle that lives here. the thing is, Twinkle is kinda mean. she doesn't really like to be petted or touched for that matter. but Ellie chases her anyway, and incessantly tries to give her kisses.

Ellie loves to eat gogurt more than anything else. she'd eat a gogurt every 10 minutes if i'd let her. she also loves cheese and crackers...still loves to chomp on edamame, peaches, corn, and goldfish crackers...and drinks about a gallon of apple juice each day. we are convinced her little belly is full apple juice.

Ellie has turned into a little monkey...climbing all over everything and getting into anything and everything in sight. her latest favorite places to climb into or onto include: the kitchen table, one of the fancy chairs in g+g's fancy room, the stairs (which i hate), and the kitchen cabinet. she's such a cute little squirt, she can squeeze her little diaper bum all the way into this little teenie cupboard. it's pretty cute...for like 5 seconds until she realizes she's stuck and slightly claustrophobic. funny monkey ellie.

Ellie surprises me with how girly she is. she loves to wear her necklaces, loves putting on sunglasses, loves holding my lipglosses, and loves shoes. we were at a really cute lil jewelry store today that also had shoes.....and of course, she starts pulling out all these sexy heels and tries to put them on her feet. how does she know this stuff so young?

(the pic's below were taken on our shopping trip today with my phone...sorry about the poor quality, but i thought they were too cute not to share).

Ellie loves books. but you already knew that. she most recently loves elmo books. but you probably could've guessed that too.

Ellie most recently likes to color and draw. i love how she can just scribble her heart out on my phone. i love how i can then save them...i've always been excited to hang my kids' art work on my fridge. i guess for now, my blog is my pseudo-fridge for ellie's artwork:

Ellie is a petite little thing...just yesterday, she graduated from a size 3 diaper to a size 4....she'd been in a 3 since she was 6 months! crazy thing. i'm in love with her cute lil shape...which is not so much a baby shape anymore...but a toddling little girl shape. still, she's got her little curves...like right above the knees....ooo i just love to tickle and squeeze those knees....and still wanna bbq her and eat her up. mmmmm delicious.

After a full day, Ellie needs her beauty sleep....a beautiful 12 hours of sleep. you see, while she is extra fun, extra sweet, and extra adorable...she also is extra exhausting. i never knew what it would be like to chase a little person around all day. i guess it's way better than i imagined it would be...but also way more tiring. so around 8 pm every night, she conks out like a light bulb....and i do too.

if you haven't met lil Ellie, you need to. she's feisty, funny, cute, smart, curious, lovely, and spunky.

basically, she's your typical toddler :)

a typical toddler who is very, very loved by her mama and dada.

 

xoxo

things with alotta hype

oh hi,
it's me.

i'd like to introduce you to my new addiction:

meet dorothy (the newest way to lose my brain, become lost to the real world, and any interaction with humans...and still be completely a.o.k. because she is just that cool):

{and yes, i'm also addicted to playing with the photobooth feature on my computer. sorry about that}

and so it was that i caved into the technology hoopala and hype.
i got an iPhone (happy early birthday to me!)...and i named her Dorothy.

quite frankly, i don't get what all you haters are talking about.
this thing is a-mazing.
incredible.
incredibly addicting.
and just plain cool.

and i secretly want to disappear and play with it all day long.

and sometimes i do.

so what apps can't i live without? i know i've asked this here once and on facebook...so i'm sorry if my multiple questioning is getting annoying...but i'd really like to know. i want to get the most out of this 4 inch machine.

one that someone recommended to me is Twitter. now, i have a twitter account. but i don't really get what the hype is about twitter. i don't really get how it would be useful to me. like, why would i want to know what ryan seacrest is doing or where he is? i mean, he's cool and all, and i'm the first to admit and confess that american idol is one of my favorite shows...but do i really want to know what he's eating for dinner?
enlighten me on this twitter fad, please.

while i'm on the subject of hyping things up, there's been alotta hype about trader joe's. i've been in trader joe's once like a bazillion years ago...and don't remember anything about it. i mean, it kinda sounds like a souped up cow-boy gear store that also has fishing poles, saran wrap, and mustard. people keep telling me, "you're so lucky to live close to a trader joe's. i love that place." but then they scurry off and forget to tell me what's so great about it. so, tell me about this trader joe's phenomenon. what makes it so darn special? what's all the hype??

and now, i'd like to make a whole lotta hype about his gal: Dari, who has an Etsy headband shop here. she just held a giveaway on her blog...and i guess what goes around comes around because yours truly WON! i never win anything (i know, i know, how cliche) so i feel very, extremely, hyped-up-excited. i love all of her adorable lil headbands. i'm deciding between this one:

this one:

and this one:

i need help choosing.
what are your thoughts?
i'm leaning towards the first one...
or maybe one of the others listed in her shop here...
i stink at committing to choosing consumer products..unless it's the iPhone.

and we've come full circle.

soooo, i think i've shared enough hype with you for one day

i look forward to your knowledge and wisdom, as always.

xoxo

the walnut festival

went to the walnut festival this weekend.

been hearing about it for quite some time now. basically, it's a really cute (and outrageously expensive) carnival that makes its way to walnut creek, ca every september, every year. people around here pride themselves on the walnut festival.

i'm not gonna lie: i was expecting walnuts. you know- walnut tasting, maybe some walnut syrups, walnut cupcakes, walnut cookies. but as luck would have it: there weren't any walnuts at the walnut festival. not a single one. just carni's (a term i just learned this weekend), cotton candy, carousels, balloons, and expensive games for cheap prizes.

oh, and don't you forget the fun.
the festival was lots and lots of fun!

ellie especially loved the red balloon she got for free at one of the booths.
i guess we could've just gotten a red balloon at the nearby drug-store.
but that wouldn't have given us half as cute of pictures.
and, i'm obsessed with cute pictures.
but you already knew that :)

hope you're enjoying your weekend!

xoxo

giftcard giveaway winners

i've been so excited to announce my winners for my giveaway, i can hardly stand it.
i have to give you a "thumbs up" (hence the picture) for all of your awesome comments and for choosing to follow me! you're the best.
my one regret is that i can't give something to all of you, my readers, my followers, my friends.
if i had my own show (like ellen's or oprah's) called "marci" i would have all of you be my live studio audience- and i'd give you all giftcards, dvd's, cd's, and make-up. yes, lots and lots of make-up.
but unfortunately i don't have my own show.
and so winners had to be picked.
thank goodness for random.org-
so that i didn't have to be the picker. (picking is so un-lady like, anyway).

drumroll please:
announcing my giftcard giveaway winners!!!

1. Nat
2. Lovers
3. Jons and Celeste Leigh
4. Amy
5. Kade & Jess
6. Tiffany Johnson
7. Amber
8. Andi and Scott
9. Anne
10. Lisa Johnson
11. Hilary
12. Lovers
13. Anne
14. Mat and Brooke
15. Lea Tame
16. Michelle
17. Candace
18. Nat
19. Joni and Rico Adams
20. Under the Oaks
21. Rachel
22. Amy
23. Kade & Jess
24. The Oldham's
25. Miss Morgan
26. Andi and Scott
27. Mat and Brooke
28. Jaci
29. Jenna
30. Amy
31. Stephanie
32. Jaci
33. Heidi
34. The Oldham's
35. Kade & Jess
36. Rachel
37. Andi and Scott
38. Hilary
39. Jenni
40. Elysia
41. Amber
42. Heidi
43. The Peterson's
44. Jaci
45. Stephanie
46. Ju and Brack
47. Clay and Jenna
48. Elysia
49. Danielle
50. The Oldham's
51. Ed and Kelli
52. Under the Oaks
53. The Peterson's
54. Lali Johnson
55. Clay and Jenna
56. Kristi
57. Ju and Brack
58. Lali Johnson
59. Tiffany Johnson
60. Miss Morgan
61. Stephanie
62. Lovers
63. Jen
64. Miss Morgan
65. Jen
66. Nat
67. Amber
68. Tiffany Johnson
69. Jons and Celeste Leigh
70. Becca
71. Jarom and Amber
72. Mat and Brooke
73. Clay and Jenna
74. Jons and Celeste Leigh
75. Michelle
76. Rachel
77. Ed and Kelli
78. Becca
79. Danielle
80. Linda
81. Anne
82. Lisa Johnson
83. Candace
84. Lisa Johnson
85. Ed and Kelli
86. Danielle
87. Lali Johnson
88. Lea Tame
89. Jenni
90. Jarom and Amber
91. Alesa
92. Jen
93. Hilary
94. Becca
95. Ju and Brack
96. Joni and Rico Adams
97. Elysia
98. Under the Oaks
99. Jarom and Amber
100. Jenni
101. Joni and Rico Adams
102. Alesa

i wanted to show you the whole list so that you would know that ALL of your comments were accounted for, and that it was completely random!
so, this means that Nat- you are the winner of the Coldstone Giftcard
Lovers, you are the winner of the Barnes & Noble Giftcard
and Jons & Celeste Leigh- you are the winner of the Nordstrom giftcard!

i will be emailing you all today- and would appreciate it if you got back to me by Sunday with your address so i can mail you your goods. if you don't get back to me before then, i will announce an alternate winner.

to everyone else, i love you.
does that make you feel uncomfortable and awkward to hear those three words from me?
well, sorry if it does.
but i do.
i love you, my little blogging world.

i promise to do another giveaway soon. i love giveaways. and i always want to win one myself.
if you have some stuff you'd like me to giveaway (tee hee) let me know...i'd be happy to take it off your hands. :) if not, no worries- i have some ideas up my sleeve. get excited.

again, thanks for reading. sending you all a kiss hug kiss hug!

xoxo

thursday thinkings and thoughts

{me with my thinking cap on}

yes, i'd like to introduce yet another segment on my blog.
you see, i have lots of thoughts and thinkings.
some things are things i may need advice on. because i know we all have expertise and opinions on differing things. and i'd like to get some of that expertise. so i'm gonna ask for it.
some things are just things that i wonder, am i the only one who has ever thunk this? (for example: do you ever want to say thunk instead of thought? i like the word thunk so much...even though it's not even a real word).
and other things...are just thinkings and thoughts that have no rhyme or reason.
i'd like to share some of these thinkings and thoughts with you.

i've been thinking a lot about my lil monkey ellie. you see, she's growing at an exponential rate- and learning even faster. i think about her all the time...and i know i scrutinize every little teensie weensie thing that she does or doesn't do. i try not to. but i do. one thing i worry about is the way she interacts with other kids. usually, they'll approach her- and she'll wack them in the face like "can't you see my bubble? you're intruding. popping the bubble. step away." which leads me to another worry: she wacks people, including me, when she's mad. i wouldn't be so shocked by it if it wasn't in context the way it usually is.
for example:
"ellie, we can't watch elmo right now."
WACK across the face.
"ellie, it's time to get out of the bath."
hysterical WACKS flying in the air to not get out of the tub.
and don't even get me started on the tantrums...yes, rolling on the floor. whimpering. whining when she doesn't get something she wants.
i thought these things weren't supposed to start till they were two? am i justified in worrying? or am i being over-protective, paranoid, and annoying?

i've also been thinking about how much i want to be casted on "what not to wear" or "how do i look" or some other TLC show like that so that i can feel justified in getting rid of all of my teen-bopper clothing in exchange for a stunning new wardrobe. i think about wanting new clothes more than any girl should. maybe you could vote me on one of those shows? or maybe you could just buy me a new wardrobe and save myself (and you for knowing me) some embarrassment. i'm fine with either.

i think about the utah mountains a lot. i'm imagining them all covered in fall right this minute. i'm imagining the crisp apple air. you see, it's not fall here yet. (don't let the whole "first day of fall thing" confuse you). it's still like a bazillion degrees (despite the coldness we found ourselves shivering in at the beach yesterday) and so, i miss fall, my favorite season, and i am aching to see a red or orange leaf somewhere. instead, there are dead mustard hills which i'm told look lovely when they're green. funny the things you miss when you don't have them around anymore.

i've been thinking about the following comment a lot recently, since i've received it multiple times:
"wow, your hair is so long."
is this a compliment? or? what if it is followed up with the following comment:
"i could never in a million years keep my hair that long."
maybe i'm overanalyzing this question (i know, what a SHOCKER, that i would overanalyze something)-- but do you think there is a subtle (or not-so-subtle) hint in there saying something like, "look lady, your locks are looking a little straggly and mangy...you could really use a cut)?

i think i might want an i-phone for my birthday. am i thinking i want one just because it's the trendy thing to do? do you have one? maybe you could sell me on it. what are your favorite apps? or what makes this worth...or a waste of my money??

i think about getting a deal a lot. i mean who doesn't love getting a good deal?? i have some sites i've recently found and am wondering-- do you have any sites you could share with me that would help me get a deal? with coupon codes, etc??

i think i'm really excited about my giveaway, which ends tonight! don't forget to enter here. i think i want to keep the giftcards for myself! but i think i'd better not, since i already promised them to you.

and i think...i think that's enough thinkings and thoughts for one day.

xoxo

ellie sees the beach for the first time

in my mind, i thought it would include sandcastles, swim-suits, warm sand, and maybe even a sunburn.

in reality, it included fog, wind, sweatshirts (though i forgot ellie's so she got to wear mine...a hilarious sight all on its own) and sand in all the wrong places.

funny how life does that, huh? lets our brains make something out to be waaay different than it really is.

but even though the reality resembled nothing that my mind had imagined, it was an incredibly fun and memorable day...and i wouldn't have changed it. not one bit.

we just hope for ellie's sake (since she insists upon going in the icy water) that next time the sun doesn't decide to hibernate as soon as we get there.

needless to say:
we love the beach.
and we can't wait to go back for more!

oh yes, and don't forget...THURSDAY is the LAST DAY to enter my giveaway. for more deets, go here.
xoxo