Thursday, July 15, 2010

i'm an emotional pile of poop.

seriously.
i am.
like, when the dishwasher broke, and the guy told me it was going to cost $188.36 to fix, i cried.
and it's still broken.
but he promised he'd be back to fix it.
so while hand-washing one of the millions of dishes from breakfast this morning, i cried again. i hate washing dishes.

and when our brand-spankin'-new drier mysteriously stopped working. on our 3rd use. i cried then, too. how can something you JUST bought for HUNDREDS of dollars give you an error and randomly stop working? i don't get that. it's very aggravating. especially when you only have like 3 things you feel cute in, and those 3 things need to be dried by your dryer. so then i go pioneer-woman-style, and dry them on a clothes-line outside. only for them to fall off into the dirt (because 1- i'm not a pioneer-woman, and didn't realize hanging clothes takes skill, and 2- our backyard is overflowing with awesome dirt right now. it's pretty classy). and get all wet + dirty = muddy. yeah, i cried then too.

and when Ellie got into PAINT (while i was washing those stupid dishes i told you about). paint that i JUST BOUGHT. and i ran to rinse it off, and my hand knocked the scentsy candle plugged into the electrical outlet by the sink...and spilled hot wax all over me + the countertop....all 10 minutes before i had to be at Young Womens. WITH Ellie. because M is out of town. yeah, you guessed it. i cried then too.

and when the lady today at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom (where we have our passes) told me that i couldn't ride the train because i'm pregnant (which goes seriously like 2 miles an hour. if that)- which meant that Ellie couldn't ride it because she needed to be accompanied by an adult...i cried. and then i sucked in my pregnant belly real good and told her i wasn't pregnant. and she laughed in my face. and then the tears flowed freely. so then, the rest of the day, i sucked in so hard that i made myself sick, so i just looked like i had eaten 5 too many funnel cakes instead of looking like i was hoarding a human like i am....all so that Ellie could ride the rides...

and so then, even in happy moments, i've started crying. because my eyes are just really good at it these days. like when Ellie woke up yesterday, and wanted me to rock her in the chair. and kissed my arm. and my cheek. and for a minute, i just wanted it to be me + her forever. not any other baby. because we're already a good team. and i love her so much. and i don't want her to not be my baby anymore. i cried then thinking about that.

and then i thought about having a baby in the house. and that made me so happy. and so i cried because i was so happy. because babies are so sweet. and gentle. and Ellie will be such a good big sister. and i'm so excited for her to have that in her life. and so i cried thinking of Ellie being a big sister, and me being a mama to an infant again. that time, i cried pretty hard. it may have been a little bit of a freaked-out cry (infants tend to do that to me) + a happy excited cry too.

and when we saw Toy Story 3- well, i cried like 3 different times throughout that movie. like, the credits were barely over...before the movie even began, and i already had tears in my eyes. not just little ones either. big globby ones falling down my cheeks.

and when i had to say goodbye to my family when we left So Cal on Sunday- well, that was major tearage. and i cried in the car for a good ten minutes. and now, when i look at my pictures from my trip, i cry too. because i miss my family so much. and even when i look at a picture that has M in it, i cry. because i miss him too. and i'm sick of him traveling. it's the pits. (and so now i will insert pictures here. because it seems to fit. and what's a post without pictures, anyway?)

{in Gammy + Pop's backyard...on our 3rd..or 4th...or 5th (can't really keep 'em straight) bbq}
{believe it or not, it was chilly in So Cal while we were there...so yes, we enjoyed some hot-tubbin. no worries, i didn't boil baby-girl for too long :) }
{at Seaport Village in San Diego...Ellie looovved chasing the giant kites.}

{she was a little surprised when it hit her though...hehe}

{this is quite possibly thee most awkward picture known to man. why am i holding Ellie like that? and what's with my bang-o-rangs? and don't you think Shamu's face is just a little too happy to be a killer whale? just sayin.' still, Ellie LOVES Sea World. and so do i.}

{yeah, Ellie's a little attached. it's a bit of a problem}

{but, bring out some dolphins and amazing acrobats, and we're golden.}

{Sea World's the best.}

{and of course, we blew lots, and lots, and LOTS of bubbles at Gammy + Pops house. wow. the addiction lives strong.}

{my favorite thing we did was celebrate my sister Mimi's 19th birthday- we went down to the Pier, and brought this portable bon-fire pit thingie...and spent a good 30-45 minutes trying to light the thing (thank goodness M showed up-- and saved the day)- but then enjoyed pizza + cupcakes + smores...and of course the sand + the ocean waves. it was a blast}

{Ellie was so excited to see her dadda (who had been traveling for work all week, and met up with us at the Pier. i admit it, i was prett-y darn excited to see him too}

{cute birthday girl Mimi + her friend Johnny. maybe they'll be more than friends someday? she'll probably kill me for writing that on my blog. oh well.}

{this is about as good as a family photo gets these days}

{i love my sister. and i love her shirt. i might steal it when i'm skinny again someday. sigh. someday. will i be skinny again someday?}

{cute Mama who made the whole thing happen- she always goes all out for us on our birthdays. bless her. she's the best.}

{and after all that partying, we needed a good day to just chillax and lay out. Ellie did just that. with her bubble gun. seriously, she's a bubbles addict. wait, did i say that already?}

{and we spent our last moments on the beach. M catching the waves...}

{with my Pops...}

{and Ellie, in rock-throwing heaven.}

 {and just because this picture makes me laugh, i'm going to include it. why does Mimi look so tall in this picture? it doesn't help that we're looking up at her...but really, she looks like 10 feet tall. whoa. i love my family.}

(P.S. Sean + Court + Rosalie- you were missed. as always. i hope we get to see you sometime soon!)

it's no surprise why i cried when i left, huh?

so if you see me, don't be surprised if you see salt on my cheeks. i can't really get it off. i'm turning into a human version of the salt-flats. and truthfully, i'm ok with that.
because i'm pregnant.
and that's the best excuse ever for being an emotional pile of poop.

xoxo

15 comments:

Shaylynn said...

Oh Marci! I cry all the time, and I'm not pregnant:) I love the final picture, I'm so envious of anyone who gets to have a sister!

You my dear are beautiful.
Crying is normal.
Crying is healthy.

I am going to say a prayer for effective machinery in your house:)

ClaysJenna said...

I love this post. I love you! I love your beautiful family! I love that little baby in your belly! I love your little Ellie! Gosh, you are too adorable!!! I also love the tag that's "I'm a big baby" 'cause that made me smile!!

Megs said...

What a great post. Sorry you are super emotional...It's not always fun being prego :)

The pictures are great...as always. I would cry, too. ;)

Linda said...

WoW! I cried a lot today too. Maybe there is something in the air? NO! I am NOT pregnant. That! Would make me cry for a century! Besitos! Te amo de aqui a la montaƱa mas grande en el mundo...MUA! LOVE the pictures, every one!

jenny said...

that sounds like the worst day. seriously. i can't believe your new dryer broke! that sucks. and that really is no fun to be without your hubby for so long. i'd be happy to come hang out one night if you get lonely! obviously i'm sitting here on the computer while chris watches the Espys...i have no idea if that's how you spell it, but anyways i hope you have a much better day tomorrow.

dang those nazi six flags people! one time i had to sign a waiver at pixieland to ride the train.

Becca said...

Hi Bff. I'm sorry you feel like an emotional pile of poop (although reading that made me smile ha). You are so awesome for being such an incredible mom to ellie, especially with things breaking and Mike gone for work. I don't know how you do it. I cry just thinking about being pregnant ha.
Wouldn't be awesome if M and Travis opened a business together? We could live in cute little houses right next to each other for the rest of our lives, and then we could hang out all day long like old times. :)

Ps. Ellie is so tall! and her hair is lighter! Oh and your hair looks awesome, especially in that last pic.

I miss you.

Joni and Rico Adams said...

Rico and I will be in San Diego next week! I wished you lived in So Cal then I would visit for sure. :(

I'm glad you had such a good time with the fam.

The Ostlers said...

Just a heads up from one pregnant gal to another...do NOT watch Extreme Home Makeover while pregnant. I cried for 2 hours straight!

Kimberly said...

Hi Marce!
I'm sorry you've been crying. It makes me want to just come give you big hugs...oh, wait, I can in about 2 weeks when we're in town and get to party with Dev's family and our bffs. :) I miss you. I'm excited to see your beautiful house too and let Ellie and Wyatt play.

P.S. I think its normal to cry, especially when you're pregnant. But if it makes you feel better... I've been crying a lot lately too. I think its just life.

Ashley said...

I need to take a pregnancy test.
I have the same symptoms!!! :)
I hope your next few tears are happy instead of frustrated or sad. You are wonderful. Te amo.

Jeff and Whitney said...

Oh man darling, sounds like a lot is going on! Loved the post, it made me feel normal :)

Let the tears flow, I think its pretty healthy.

And what a beautiful little girl you have. Can you even imagine how much your heart is going to grow with another?

Mat and Brooke said...

Marce, you've gotta cut yourself a big break. We're all emotional piles of poop when we're pregnant!! It's just in the cards for every single one of us women and there's no way around it! The great thing, is that you're adorable about it and handle it so well. I love hearing from you!

Elizabeth said...

Hello I found your blog from The Fredy Family... so I hope you don't mind me saying Hi.
I cried at Toy Story 3 and when I lost my ipod last week... you at least have a great excuse!
Your blog is gorgeous and your pics look great . Thanks for sharing.

mere/tay(xoxo) said...

all those pictures makes me want to live in cali. nor or so. i should convince all of my family to pack up and go. iowa is sticky and muggy and sticky and hot sticky humid.
i love you.
cry it out babe.
cause pregnancy is a #blank*. (can't swear...i have a child now)
xoxo

Megan said...

Hey Marc, thanks so much for your sweet comment on my blog. Its so nice to know someone can relate! Sometimes I wish I was more of a crier cause sometimes I really want to but cant. Usually I just get really feisty. And I can't imagine handling Sol by myself for days at a time. Thats got to be so hard! Hang in there! Once I have my baby girl I'll tell you how worth it it all is. Until then we're kind of in the same boat... :)
Love you!