keep your eye on the grand ole flag

yesterday was Memorial Day.

a day to remember.

a day to think of our beloved USA; where we've been, and where we are thanks to so many who have fought to protect our freedom.

a day to think of all of those we love who have passed away.

in 2013 Ellie was in Mrs. Perona's preschool class where she learned "You're a Grand Ole Flag." man, she loved that song! she sang it in the morning while she took a bath. she sang it to her dolls. she sang it every time she saw a flag blowing in the wind. so of course when we went to the cemetery that Memorial day to honor little Max, she saw all those flags blowing there and marched around in a circle singing "KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE GRAND OLE FLAG" at the top of her almost-5-year-old lungs. and you'd better believe that her little shadow Alice wasn't more than three steps behind, marching and yelling the wrong lyrics right along with her big sis at the top of her lungs.

and so, it's become tradition. we did it last year with newborn Jack screaming his guts out in his carseat ready for a feeding (oh the glamour of newborn-dom). and this year, 1 year old Jack was with us in daddy's arms while we marched around in a circle, waving our flags (more like whacking dad in the face with the flag in Jack's case), singing for our sweet brother.

 
 we look like a bunch of crazy weirdos doing that, i'm sure. but i like to think that it makes Max smile knowing we are thinking of him in the small way we can. and the truth is that us being weirdos like that gets me all sentimental.

Mike and i had this this somber moment where we looked at our kids skipping happily through that cemetery yesterday; they laughed and threw rocks in ponds....Jack picked grass and crawled through the lines of headstones. and we couldn't help but comment on how strange it is that they'll grow up in that cemetery and won't know any different. cemeteries aren't creepy to them. they don't get freaked out or weirded out by people visiting the graves and paying their respects with flowers and tears. all of that is normal and a part of their life. and i know this will all be a blessing to them, but i also can't help but ache for them, too-- having to experience and sort out the puzzle of life and death at such young ages. Alice is especially inquisitive about death right now. "but how many days will i live until i die?" "but isn't it so wonderful that i am going to die?" "when i die, will i go be with Jesus, just like Max is with Jesus?" it hurts to open up these archives over and over ... and honestly, i don't want to talk about death that much! it freaks me out! but i am truly so happy that we get to be so connected to heaven; it has blessed our family so much and i know always will.

and so, we remembered Max yesterday. i love that brave boy and his brave life. "the cutest baby in the whole heaven!" as Ellie always says. these kids sure love their brother Max. and that makes this mama's heart so happy.

xoxo

February 2014: Hartley Family Weekend for Elsa's Blessing

i flew to Utah for the weekend to be there for my little niece Elsa's baby blessing. she was born in December to Sean and Courtney and is the sweetest little thing! i'm so glad that i got to skip town for a few days and be there for it.

my sweet friend Sandi picked me up from the airport in Provo - and then we met up with wonderful Becca at Zupa's for lunch. my favorite thing about going home to Utah is seeing my people! i love these humans so much and wish i could feel of their awesomeness more regularly.

then my mom met up with us down in American Fork with Court and her girls - and we got to go do some errands together at Trolley Square while catching up. i love these cute nieces of mine!

of course, no trip home is complete without stopping at Tasty's to get my favorite powdered sugar donut.....and a double blueberry...because who can ever have just one? the best part of going to Tasty's is that you always, always, ALWAYS run into someone you know. this time's kaysville celebrity siting: none other but the wonderful Emily Craghead!!! it was so fun seeing her with her fam. how is it possible that so much hilarity resides in one human? i'll never know.

 one of the best parts of going husbandless/kidless on a trip is sharing the bed with Mims. good times. goooooood times.

we got to just chill at Sean & Courtney's house and be with each other and the kids, which was so nice - especially because usually i am so distracted with my own kids that i don't get to focus on my nieces and nephews. but not this time! they got alllll my love. it was a nice change!

 little Elsa, the queen of the weekend

the day of the blessing:

so fun to see so much family - Marianne and her son Andrew with my mom.

delicious food and treats as always, and Aubrey - Courtney's sister, and girls' favorite aunt! (sniff)

my uncle Lane & Karen & cousin Kelly, plus baby Bennet, my cousin Ben's son.

my beautiful sis + my beautiful cousin Sarah - who were totally laughing and making fun of someone or something but it was too long ago so now i don't remember.

and my favorite moment of the afternoon: when Rosalie picked up the guitar and sang Let it Go at the top of her lungs. she's so hilariously cute and spunky!

i also love hearing my brother play - he is a master at the guitar! he played "free fallin" - the John Mayer rendition and i lovvved it. he's just so good.

and most of the family that came- love this group of humans so very much!

all in all, a great weekend with my fam. sometimes it's fun to hang with the original crew -- even if it does feel like parts of you are missing (weird how that happens as you get older). love this crazy family of mine that explains so much of my personal crazy! 

xoxo