lucky.

right now i should be preparing my lesson for YW.
i kind of am.
even though since i am blogging, i'm mostly not.
the lesson is on "the Priesthood" and how it is a great blessing.
my brain keeps getting distracted to this feeling of homesickness that is completely insane, irrationally emotional, and inexplicable-- since i just returned from visiting my family, and since i will see them all again this next week at my brother's graduation. maybe i'm crazy? probably. pregnancy hormones? yes yes, let's blame it on that. i'm ticked at pregnancy right now. it's wearing me out. it deserves the blame of all the junk right now.

i keep looking at pictures of my trip and thinking how lucky i am.
and how lucky we all are.
how lucky we are that our Heavenly Father loved us enough to send us down to this crazy world in little packs. little families. not perfect families. but perfect families for us.

and then it got me thinking, i think if i really could, i would miss heaven a lot. sometimes i get little glimpses of what heaven will be like- like when Ellie requests to say a prayer, and we stand there, our little three-some family, praying to Heavenly Father...she says "bless mommy. bless gammy. bless daddy. bless Lucy (my parents' dog). love you. in Jesus' name, amen." and i can imagine it like that going on forever and ever- conversing with our Father, being together spending meaningful time together. or like when we sit on the beach and watch the sun set and wonder if the world could ever look more beautiful. and then it makes me kind of homesick for Heaven.

so what's my remedy for homesickness, earthly or heavenly? (besides my 3lb bag of gummie bears & case full of otter pops...and chocolate i have randomly stashed in corners throughout the house)

earthly remedies:

• going through pictures. remembering sweet memories that aren't so far away. and looking forward to new ones. 

• phone calls. lot's of 'em (thanks mom). and/or texts. thanks bff's & sisters for always responding to me.
• hugs from M. not the ones that he tries to fix it after. but the ones where he just holds me and seems to understand that i just need to be a little sad for a minute or two. then i'll be ok.
• listening to songs. one that keeps popping in my lil brain is "i'll be seeing you." you know, that old Frank Sinatra song. it's not too long- it goes like this:

I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces all day through
In that small cafe, the park across the way

The children's carousel, the chestnut trees, the wishing well

I'll be seeing you in every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
I'll find you in the mornin' sun
And when the night is new

I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you

i like that song. because i really do see my family and friends and loved ones in the world around me. especially when it's just me.

heavenly remedies:

• praying.
• receiving priesthood blessings
• studying messages from the prophets- scriptures or conference tlaks.
• going to the temple

is all of this too churchy?
maybe.
but it's what's on my brain. i'm homesick. homesick for my earthly family. and my heavenly one too. but i'm grateful for telephones and bended knees to keep me in touch and make me feel a little less sick and a little more glad.yes yes, i'm a lucky girl. just gotta remind myself of that every now and then.

 xoxo