Saturday, June 27, 2009

murphy's law

or should it be chapman's law?
i mean, who is murphy? and why does he get a law?

i was just reading up on murphy's law on wikipedia. man, i'm a wiki junkie. i pretty much think it's like an encyclopedia for dummies. so it's perfect for someone like me. anyway, wikipedia explains Murphy's law as:

nything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

wow. has Murphy been eavesdropping into my life the last few weeks?

let me give you some scenarios...and then you tell me if it should be called chapman's law or not.

scenario #1: the birthday party

weeks of beautiful weather in may. lovin' the sunshine. a bubble bath birthday party (including kiddie pools, bubbles, and ducks ducks ducks) would be perfect! of course i have this lovely expectation of everyone sipping lemonade, having otter pops and splashing each other in the sun saying to themselves, "this is the best birthday party i have EVER been to."

think again, lady.

then the most bizarre 400% precipitation for june rolls in. what!? isn't it summer? of course, our hopes were brightened the day of the party as we woke up to blue skies and sunshine. my prayers had been answered! all day i cooked, baked, prepared, wrapped gifts, set up decorations... the party was to start at 3:00. i look outside at 2:00 as M was shivering setting up the kiddie pools (what a man i have). i could hear his voice in my head saying, "well, maybe we should have a plan B." my little yapper snapped back, "no. it won't rain. there IS NO plan B." 2:30 rolls around. meeeaaannnn clouds growled in the west. M comes inside, "those clouds are heading towards us." again, i snapped back, "the clouds don't ALWAYS come from the west!!........or do they?" the clock strikes 2:50. people start to arrive. and down pours the rain. luckily, E didn't notice the rain. she loved her gifts, her cake, spending time with her little friends and family, and of course, all the ducks.

5:00- the party ends. 5:15- the rain stops.


scenario #2 the car
looking forward to an awesome birthday party back in october. missed it because of car troubles (you can read more about it here). quick re-cap of unfortunate events: our engine broke down on I-15...which led to us buying a new one...which led to us having our car serviced for like 3 weeks- or more like FOREVER- which led to us being car-less FOREVER...which led to us ultimately buying a new car (well, new to us, it's a 2007). you don't expect to have problems with your new car right? think again. on our way to a friends birthday party today (has anyone else noticed how these murphyisms all surround birthday parties? what does that mean?) we hear the most bizarre noise- it was like a semi was tailgating us so closely that it was hitting our bumper or something. then we felt a BOOM and we knew...the tire blew out. what? aren't these tires brand new? are we seriously on the shoulder of i-15 right now? how did we not just die? will E stop crying already? then i take E out of the car. what is that wetness on my leg? did she just pee on me? (she was wearing a swim-diaper...and while those are handy for the pools because they don't swell up...they are NOT handy in any other situation because...well...they don't absorb and swell up.). yikes.

agree with me about chapman's law yet?

scenario #3 the diet
M and i have been on this health/exercise craze. M has a friend who is interning with a nutrition/personal training company that is using him as a guinea pig. but M has to be a very obedient guinea pig so that his friend can really learn the ropes and his results can be accurate so that he can become credible as a trainer (whew, i think that was a run-on sentence). anyways. so we've been really, really good. really. no sugar in this house. whole wheat everything. light yogurt. and mayo. and cheese. and anything else that can be light. yes, we're serious here. well, tonight i just couldn't take it anymore. i blame it on all these wacky hormones floating around my weaning body. well, i saw those oreos...the ones that i never used that i bought for E's party a few weeks ago..and they were just calling out my name. "eat me, eat me. marci, you loooovveee my chocolatey goodness." and i thought to myself, "yes mr. o! i do love you. who cares about a skinny butt."

so i looked around to see if anyone was looking (aka M), and i grabbed the oreos ever so quietly and subtly (i was going to sneak them under my shirt and lock myself in my bedroom and pretend to be earnestly preparing my YW lesson for tomorrow. what? don't tell me you've never secretly eaten treats before). well, i wasn't so subtle. that huge sam's club bag of pistachios that i thought was such a good deal decided to lurch itself onto me (and of course it didn't have a clip on it) and it spilled. all. over. EVERYWHERE. and did i mention that it made a huge noise? and did i mention that M was like, "hey, what are YOU doing?" and did i mention that he saw the oreos? and then asked me what i was doing with them? and then i couldn't secretly eat in peace?

stupid murphy.

well. there are many other scenarios. but i'll just leave it at those three.

so what do you think?

* update *

i'd like to add a scenario #4 to my list:

scenario #4 sacrament meeting
yes, in the less-than-twelve-hours-ago that happened after i wrote this post, i have another murphysim to add to my that just couldn't go undocumented.

we get a call- a meeting with the bishop before sacrament meeting.
we get another call- we're saying prayers in this sacrament meeting.
in my heart of hearts, i knew i was going to be released from my calling in the YW presidency. i was very sad about it. of course, we were running late...we got there 5 minutes before the meeting was to begin...but bishop insists on meeting with us. he was blunt and prompt: "thank you for your service sister chapman. you will now be released. the end." (ok, it was a little nicer than that, but that's how i remember it in my brain. we are so dispensable in the church, aren't we?)

so he shuffled us out of there reallly really fast. and he was conducting the meeting. it begins. tears start welling up in my eyes...inevitably. hello! i'm a girl!! and even though sometimes i complain about how time-consuming it is, or how i am nervous to teach a lesson, or yadda yadda yadda, having a calling makes us feel we are contributing something. and hello! i love the girls! and the ladies i've served with have become such good friends! i love them. and will miss them. and will inevitably feel left out when they still meet for YW without me on Sundays and Wednesdays. sigh.

anyway, so after the world's shortest song, it was my turn to pray.
i say a pretty decent prayer...considering how distracting E was being.
i say amen.
i look to E.
she's pretty much freakin out now.
there are STAIRS THERE.
i fall.
you heard me.
i almost swear.
what!? in sacrament meeting????

back to the falling part:
the four-inch heels that i thought looked so hot this morning were suddenly the stupidest things ever. i wanted to throw them out the door and i wanted to die. and everyone was looking at me. and please, can someone take the attention off of me for a second??

thank goodness, bishop starts talking again.

"we'd like to release the following sister from her calling: sister chapman as YW second counselor."

all the attention right back on me.

needless to say, i ran out of there as fast as i could. straight for the door. went outside. BAWLED MY EYES OUT. (i'm hormonal, remember?)

case in point: anything that can go wrong WILL GO WRONG.
the end.

(p.s. sorry i'm so dramatic :) ).



Becca said...

Oh. my. gosh. This post is hilarious. haha. I'm giggling in my kitchen right now. Everyone has been a secret treat eater I think. I seriously can't even form a resonable sentence because I'm just picturing the "treat scenario." Oh goodness. funny.

Jenni said...

ooooh sweetie! i totally feel for you! but with all that bad luck, you are going to have a few months of everything going your way :)

Barbes said...

Is it awful that I'm a little excited for your next Murphyism because it will be so hilarious to read about? How I adore you and your blog.

anne said...

I love your posts. I have fallen on numerous occasions in front of the public eye (3 times at prom my senior year...yah...3!) and while it seems that the world is going to end it really won't.
Some one should really hunt down that Murphy and beat him good. :)

Amy said...

Marce- you crack me up! I'm sorry that it seems you've gotten the short end of the stick... but hopefully that's only because so many good things are to come that you had to get a little glimpse of the stinkiness.

I am definitely a secret treat eater.

And I had a hard time when I was released from yw for the first little while... but the drama is one thing I have yet to miss.

I'm looking forward to hearing about that something good coming your way.

ps- it was soooo good to see you and your fam the other night! I'm so happy that worked out! Love your guts!

Lynne said...

Oh Marci, I am laughing so hard I am crying, but at the same time I want to come and tuck you into bed and bring you cookies and milk. I would let you watch movies and read good books all day while I take care of Ellie and if Mike wants to join you he can. Someone in the universe is being really mean, but enough is enough.

Lea Tame said...

Yes, I love it! That would be a fantastically wonderful thing to have witnessed! Love you!

Lea Tame said...

P.S.- do you have any more adorable pictures of Josh and Ellie from her party? If so, I would LOVE for you to email me them! Thanks!

Shaylynn said...

sugar-restricted diets are not natural Marci. Eat all the oreos you want girl:) Sorry about the tripping, as if saying a prayer in church isn't stressful enough, right? Way to not swear:) that's so hialrious that you said that. San Fran will be less murphyish for you, hopefully. I'm sending GOOD vibes.

Linda said...

Oh! Marci! You fell! In Sacrament Meeting.... after your prayer, and while being released! 5g9763rhfow0923oyr7cb Sigh.
I am sooooo sorry honey. I am proud of you that you did not swear. That would have been the worst part! I personally don't like Mr. Murphy. Really. What a negative fellow.
I will laugh a few more times before I go to bed about the secret treat fiasco. That is hilarious and I can see Mike's kind eyes... looking at you in total disappointment! hahahahaha! You are too funny.
Do you want me to buy some Oreos for when you guys come this weekend. Just don't eat them in front of me! I thought of you today. MIMI, Dad and I went on a beautiful Sunday drive up the Green Mountain Canyon in MIMI's convertible. The Mountains were exquisite!!! They always remind me of you and each of my amazing kids! Take care... and next time.... clip the dang pistachios and put those suckers on a different shelf than the secret treats. Then: Buen Provecho!

Linda said...

P.S. You will get another calling in time... and you will love it just as much... and you will feel needed and useful once again.
We are indispensable to the Lord! Really! The work will never fail...with our without us.... but we all have a job, a mission... it's so exciting to watch you be " recycled" in the church like the rest of us! It's wonderful. I am sure the girls and the friends you have made will miss working with you too. You are wonderful and will bloom wherever you are planted!

Clay and Jenna said...

Oh, my goodness! I'm so SORRY that you fell down the stairs in sacrament meeting. I dropped the water tray one time...that gets quite a bit of attention as well...I'm sorry!!

Ashley said...

Seriously. We are from the same true. And that's good because cherry trees are my favorite :)

Reena Bostock said...

Your story about the heels and feeling HOT in them and then wanting to chuck them...made me laugh so hard! I'm sorry you had one of those days! You'll look back on it in a few and laugh at yourself. Take care and know that every woman is hormonal and sneaks a treat now and then.

Dionne said...

OH MY GOSH!! I am dying! I am totally laughing at your expense - sorry!!! Miss you!!

Ashley Myntti said...

I love you Marci! I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard at the thought of you falling down the stairs! I know you won't hurt, so I felt ok in laughing! Thanks for bringing a smile to my day! We need to do lunch!