Monday, January 14, 2008

the popped button.


so, this past weekend i have come to terms with a dubious truth: i am an emotional wreck.

now, i'm definitely blaming ALL of this on the pregnancy. i usually am a much more stable human...but somehow i'm aboard the weeping rollercoaster and am personifying a clearly irrational version of myself. let me explain.

on thursday, my cute cousin Caleb married the love of his life, Dany. i was able to be there the whole day, enjoying the temple sealing, the luncheon, lots of family, laughs, chilly weather, dancing, cake-cutting, sweating, loving, kissing, and everything else that could accompany weddings.

well, i was going to be seeing tons of people i knew this day- since Caleb's family lives in my neighborhood, and since he attended my high school, and since we had TONS of family coming out for the event. so, of course i wanted to be dressed for the occasion! i picked out this darling black dress my mom bought me (comfy enough to pass for maternity) and this beautiful long white coat that i bought for my own engagement pictures. well, this beautiful white coat is adorned with sparkly rhinestone buttons along the front...and was already missing one at the start of the day. luckily, i picked out this fuzzy black scarf and it covered up the broken button...so nobody would know it was missing but me. sure, it was a little snug- but everything fit a little snug these days. so i went with the black and white ensemble and left the house feeling fabulous!

well, the day went on....and, well, wedding days are long! lots of pictures, lots of hugs, lots of questions about baby chappy- all wonderful things - but definitely an exhausting day. after indulging in yummy rolls and decadent desserts at the luncheon, we went up to the reception hall in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and took a seat around one of the tables. i was feeling a little more "full" than i did at the beginning of the day. well, as soon as i leaned over to take a seat (something which has become increasingly uncomfortable in the passing weeks) i heard a faint little "pop" and something drop to the floor. i looked around to see if anyone else heard it...and then looked to the ground and saw a glistening rhinestone button rocking itself slowly to a STOP on the floor. i had popped a button.

now, up until this moment, i had been overly enthused to gain weight and "show." i was so excited for everyone to finally just know that i am pregnant. all of this changed with the popped button. i suddenly felt like an engorged toad...one who can barely lean over his lily pad to fetch a fly for dinner. i looked down at my jacket...the thread all distorted...and looked around again, giving a fake smile to keep in with the conversation. i didn't want anyone to notice...because i had just popped a button due to the increasing size of my tummy.

of course someone noticed...the jacket wouldn't stay together. my poor sister-in-law was the victim. she was just trying to be courteous to say that she'd fix it...but i couldn't hear her as i ran out of the room into the nearest bathroom stall. i was crying by this point...passing family members and friends. yes, i was crying over a popped button.

but soon, my mom came into the bathroom and talked some sense in me. it wasn't long before i realized that i was acting like one of my 5 year old kindergartners who doesn't win a prize at the end of the day... or better yet, like a 3 year old...who had just dropped her ice-cream scoop off of her cone or something ridiculous like that. i felt like an idiot. it was at this point that i wished i was a bear who could crawl into a hole to hibernate for the winter and just let my belly rise like a loaf of bread for no one to see.

now, a short 4 days later, i realize that this is all part of the adventure called "pregnancy." i'm ready to embrace this emotionally ship-wrecked version of myself...and try to make her ready to sail again. all aboard, ahoy!

15 comments:

melissa said...

good times..being large, crying, so much fun!! i sympathize with you-but it just means you still got that little one growing strong!

Anne said...

O pregnancy. I would say I can sympathize, and I totally can with the being large, but with the emotional roller-coaster not so much. My husband says that's the only time I'm emotionally stable and pleasant. I guess I'm crazy when I'm not. Go figure.

Megan said...

Hi Marci! I came across your blog through Jenna Flom's and I just have to say that I loved this first entry! You're great!

Hansen's Munchkins said...

I am so glad you posted this so that in future pregnancies when I have these days I can come back and read it and not feel like a complete alien in my body. I had a similar experience at Sean and Courtneys wedding luncheon, all I remember is feeling chubby because you couldn't really tell I was pregnant yet and walking as fast as I could to the rest room trying to hide the roll I had just stuck in my mouth that I could not get myself to swallow before I gagged and threw up everywhere. My advice is to go Target or Motherhood and buy some really cute inexpensive maternity outfits you will feel like a million bucks and those clothes are so comfortable you will feel like a whole new person. I am so happy for you, you and Mike are going to be the best parents. I have always loved and looked up to your family. Secretly (although I don't think it is much of a secret) Jason and I really want to be Hartley's.

ClaysJenna said...

Marc..this blog made me smile and then want to be there and cry with you. I don't want to know what I will be like pregnant because I am already an emotional person. Seriously! I cry more than anyone I know...can't be good for me. I guess you can be grateful that all you did was pop a button and didn't rip a seam or something:) I hope all is going well...I'm excited to see you the end of this month!!

Megan said...

Oh I totally sympathize Marci! I was near tears daily for about the last 4 weeks. I really grew over that time and it wasn't just tummy love. I grew everywhere. It is not easy to get bigger!

The last week or so i've made peace with my body, somewhat...its not easy though so cry if you have to! I think you look great!

Hansen's Munchkins said...

You need to post some pictures of your baby bump.

jeffandamy said...

You crack me up!!! My mom said she saw you at the reception and you look darling as usual- she told me that you were telling her about the popped button- being over emotional is never fun... I feel that way often and can't blame any pregnancy hormones for that! Hope you're feeling great! and I want to see pictures of your baby belly too!

jaci said...

Marce..you are so good and writing and telling your stories. I love it! I miss you and hope I can be half as cute as you when I am prego! Keep the stories comin'.

Marce said...

thank you for all of your loving support as i fight the good fight! i feel so happy to know that my friends still love me despite my pathetic tendency to cry over popped buttons. so nice to be in touch!

Chappy Chatter said...

So I just spent some time catching up on your blog. I had a great time. I laughed so hard about your button popping episode. Especially because I know that you and Mike have been looking forward to the "showing" part of pregnancy. Just think how fun it is to have great stories like this to look back on and tell your little daughter about. It would be so boring if it all went easy and smooth. Take care. Luvya.
Lynne

ed and kelli said...

oh marce... that is so sad! but you konw this is goign to be one of those things you laugh about later... i miss you!

Brittany said...

Marci, Marci, I am so glad to see you in the blogging world. Congrats on being prego! I think we must be due just days of each other. I tell you, I can totally relate. I was an emotional basket case with my first, not so much with this one, but I do have my days. Just the other day Joe (my hubby) was taking my 6 month belly photos and he started laughing at how long it took me to get "ready". I kept saying "I'm ready" then breaking down in tears because of my growing belly. They composing myself, laughing and doing it all over again. Good times, I really can relate! Have fun with it, you will never be this unstable again unless you are prego. You look beautiful and so happy!

Dad said...

Marci, you are so funny. Thanks for putting up with so much "feeling crummy" and now a Popped Button! The huge price you are paying to bring my next granddaughter to us, will be sooo worth it. We love you darlin!
Dad Chapman

Erika said...

You are sooo funny! Showing in pregnancy is actually fun, don't worry. :-)