March Flashback: Max's Visitation

it feels eerie and weird to document these kind of ceremonies.

but it seems heartless and cold to not.

these days were long days. emotional days. happy days. extremely sad days. wonderful days. beautiful days.

i think back on them and i am overwhelmed by an immense feeling of love. i'm astounded by the way people reached out to us. by the miles people traveled to be there to show their love and support to us. by the flowers and gifts that were sent. the cards that were written. and the kind words, prayers, hugs, and countless thoughtful acts that were bestowed upon us, especially on these days. i'm embarrassed to say that  i haven't finished my thank you cards. but it's not because i'm not thankful. i think it was a similar thing to my blog - i began writing them, and i had to stop because i would cry and ruin cards and have to throw them out. and somehow, thank you just never feels like enough. but it's better than nothing. i'm so grateful for each of you. so grateful for everyone who came on these days. so grateful we don't go through life alone. i know i keep saying that - but really, can you even imagine?

we decided to not hold a funeral for Max, but rather a visitation in his honor - and then a graveside service for only family to attend the following day. i'm so glad we did this. we got to visit with dozens and dozens of our closest friends, ward members, neighbors, doctors, and family members who offered us compassion and support and love. some traveled from very far away to be with us, others got sitters and waited in long lines - some even with kids, and all endured long hours to show us they cared. many of you were there. thank you from the bottom of my heart. i've never felt so much love in one room as i did that day.

(a huge thank you to my friend Liz for photographing pictures of Max's Visitation. they are so special to me and i love them).

i love these images of the little girls dancing at his visitation. so full of hope and joy no matter the circumstance. aren't children so inspiring?

and then i love this image of Alice here, and our family pediatrician. even 2 year olds know how to appropriately express sorrow and pain over something like death.

it was a special day honoring Max and sharing him with so many of you. i'll remember it forever and always.

xoxo