Tuesday, August 30, 2011

hi-five-ing the MC.



winning free stuff is just the best thing, don't you think?

like i had mentioned before, M had a business seminar this last weekend in So Cal. every day the seminar peeps had a raffle giving away prizes and such...
and on one lucky day, M's name was drawn- and his prize was a kindle! Sa-WEET!

he told me that after they drew his name, he threw his hands in the air, screamed really loud, and ran all the way up to the stage where he hi-fived the MC. i reaaaalllly wish i could have been there to see that. he's so cute.



anyway, i'm totally pumped because i love to read. who doesnt!? i love how many free books you can get on the kindle. i feel like i'm stealing or something. but i realize i could definitely use some new good book suggestions to fill up my new digital library. help??? what reads have you been lovin this summer?

help a sista out, will ya?

xoxo

Sunday, August 28, 2011

you can't buy smiles like these.














my batteries are recharging.
my people are happy.
and so am i!
families are wonderful. yes?
oh, and Mr. Disney isn't half-bad either.

xoxo

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

welcome to random city, USA.




M has some work down South this weekend, so we loaded up our little tin-can of a corolla (whom we lovingly refer to as the Swan- mostly for irony's sake anymore) and were off on yet another road trip this morning before 6 am. that picture above is of the lovely sunrise coming over the hills. i love watching the sunrise...maybe even more than watching the sunset. so much hope and renewal. new beginnings. a fresh start.

i admit that i totally love this stage of life that allows me to ditch all responsibilities and obligations at the drop of a hat, while the rest of the world is meeting teachers for the first time, whipping out the new school clothes and fresh kicks, packing lunches, and reestablishing a functional routine. don't get me wrong, i love a good routine. in fact i attribute some of my recent funkiness to be because of the constant chaos and lack of routine that the summer brings. i'm looking forward to settling back into normal life and for things to be a little less hectic.

regardless, like i mentioned in my last post, i am chaos these days. hectic is my middle name. how can you not be with a 10 month old who wants to be walking (and who has taken her first step!), and a three year old who thinks it's hilarious to dump a cup of rice all over the floor? multiple times? even when you ask her to stop?

hence. (what a weird word. hence. rhymes with pence. both make me feel like i'm living in a Jane Austen book. which is pretty cool i guess - i love Jane. i loooovvee Mr Darcy. but then again, who doesn't?).

anyways. what was i saying? oh yeah, that i live in a hectic tornado mess- hence i have a hectic tornado mess of pictures from my phone to share. and while my hectic-tornado-creators are strapped down in one place for several hours, i finally have a minute to document the mess to prove that life has been actually happening. in short, welcome to random city, USA.


one of Alice's favorite things to do is hang out by me while i'm working in the kitchen, especially when i'm either A) cooking (because that usually means i'm slipping her bites of strawberries or bread or rice or whatever i'm whippin' up) or B) putting away the dishwasher (because that means she gets to dump out all the silverware and Tupperware to her hearts content).


she's so funny. her favorite thing is to take things out- more like throw things out; clothes out of drawers, toys out of boxes, food off of her tray, DVD's out of the rack, and of course the aforementioned utensils out of the dishwasher. she makes me laugh all the time.


have i told you that me and a group of friends are running the Napa Valley Ragnar next month?i'm excited. we've been training and running our little tushies off, which has been fun and hard. our runs often end at a park so the kiddies can play after- so i have like a gazillion park pictures.


Alice and i love to swing.


Ellie puts up with it. but not for long because she gets bored. and is a little scared of the swings. she's my cautious girl.


Alice, on the other hand, will crawl all over the park- even through the yucky bark. she is my little adventurer.


one of our recent addictions is coconut water. so refreshing and super delicious. last weekend, M found me some real coconuts (does that sound suggestive and awkward to anyone else??). we chilled 'em real good.


sipped on some delicious fresh coco water.


and ate some of the coco meat. which admittedly was slightly disappointing. all-in-all though, it was fun. and transported us from our little bubble to a Mexican paradise for like five seconds. it was an epic five seconds.


M and i are proud to say we are still going strong with P90x. it's been hard. really hard. there have been plenty of moments that i have either wanted to stay in bed or wanted to puke my guts out because Ab Ripper x is just too freakin' intense- but we've seen some awesome results, and it's actually been really fun to do together. so what does that picture of Ellie have to do with our crazy work-out antics? well, one of the challenges of working out in the morning is that one or both of the girls almost always end up hanging out with us during the end of our workout. yesterday was an extra special morning where Ellie came out during our warm up. awesome. after all the stretches, a few jump squats, and several lunges...Ellie got bored and sat down for a morning read. it was pretty adorable. especially since she was decked out in her frilly skirt. at 6 am.


i think i shared this picture of Ellie on Facebook- but another morning last week she came out at 7 am holding this pink dress and the most awesome bed-head ever. some people may criticize letting my 3 year old dress up all day every day. but with joy like that smeared across her face, i don't care what the naysayers say.


last weekend my childhood friends Brooke and Courtney came to the bay area and met me for lunch. they came down to Walnut Creek, a drive that usually takes me about 15 minutes. well a miscommunication, a train ride, a missed transfer, and three hours later, i met up with them...long story short: i'm a dork. it is always so rejuvenating to be with friends you grew up with. because they know you and understand life in a way that not just anyone does. they were friends with you through your awkward brace-face stages, your giddy-boy-crazy phases, and your silly-teenage drama. they know your mom and dad and sister and brother. they just get you. that's how it was to see Brooke. we talked and talked. we ate and ate. we shopped and shopped. we laughed and laughed. it felt like she brought a piece of home to me. thanks for making time in your busy/short lil getaway for lil ole me, gals. i'm lucky.


getting out is good for the mama. and good for the fam too. because after i've been out for a while and experience what it feels like to be a normal human without peach juice in my hair or nothing but wipes in my purse, i start to miss them. and they even start to miss me! bonus! this picture is taken from my car when i got home from my gals outing- they were so excited to see me. it made me get a little glimpse of what M gets to feel every day when he gets home from work. lucky guy.


i made my first cheesecake for a party last night. it was one of the proudest moments of my life. i really don't think i've ever made anything so delicious.


Ellie dressed up as a pirate for the cutest pirate birthday ever. she's so funny.


Alice is a heart breaker. look at that curl!


both girls are obsessed with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse right now. cute. slightly annoying.


last week i went with the youth to do baptisms for the dead at the Oakland temple. i hadn't been to the Oakland temple's baptistry since i came out to meet M's family for the first time while we were dating. in fact, it was in that little special room that i had the warm feeling come over me- the one where i knew i was with my future family. and future hubby. we hadn't even said i love you yet. or had the "m" word convo yet. but i knew. so as i sat there with those cute youth, i had a flood of memories come over me- sweet ones that made me smile and remember those warm twitterpated fuzzies.

and i think that's all for now. because M is starting to get annoyed that i'm like a fourteen-year-old texter instead of keeping him company on this lovely drive. and Alice needs a peach or banana or something in her mouth so she'll stop crying. and Ellie needs a drink. hectic duty calls. and i love it.

xoxo

Thursday, August 18, 2011

thoughts on motherhood.


i woke up this morning feeling a little less funky than i have been on previous mornings. which is odd because today's agenda included my least favorite chores: mopping the floors and...laundry. and who am i kidding? picking up my whole tornado of a house. i'm sitting here with a pit in my stomach wondering when i will ever have this homemaker thing figured out so i'm not always living in recovery mode-- the mode of putting things away while four grubby (but cute) hands and and four fast and furious feet follow quickly behind me undoing everything i've just done. sigh. still in spite of that stomach pit, i'm feeling a little more optimistic about things today.
i realize i've been falling in that all-too-familiar rut of comparing myself to others. which inevitably makes me feel bad about myself, and insecure about my abilities and state of life.

her kids are dressed so cute all the time.
their house is always clean.
her clothes are soooo cute.
that 3 year old has such awesome manners. shoot.
and that 3 year old never melts down.
and that 3 year old actually listens to their mom.
their car is so big and convenient. and is clean. meaning there aren't crumbs in every minuscule crevice.
her hair is NEVER frizzy.
the other 10 month old babies are snugglers.
they have a beautiful front yard.
she is so stinkin' crafty.
they get to live close to their families.

yadda yadda yadda.

yes.
i'm ashamed to call each and every one of these thoughts my own.
i know.
i KNOW.
such worldly thoughts.
as if someone's possessions, gifts, and/or talents somehow diminish my worth. what the? i should celebrate their successes and happinesses. wouldn't i want them to do the same for me? instead of feeling discouraged anytime anything goes my way? i should be inspired. not discouraged.
i'm embarrassed.
i mean, most of those thoughts have to do with things i have or don't have. or just things for that matter. and things aren't the things that matter. people are the things that matter. love is the thing that matters.
and it's hard to feel love when you're worried about keeping up with the Jones's. or the whoevers.
i realize that if i need to worry about keeping up with anyone, it's keeping up with my girls.


and that's what's cured me.

disconnecting from the junk that's been pulling me down.
taking a little time off from the distractions.
and putting more time with the ones that matter most.

being a mom is hard work.
heck. being a woman is hard work.
making meals, morning, half morning, noon, afternoon, night...
doing dishes all day long...
wiping bums...while one of them does impressive aerodynamics to resist you...and while the other one yells for you a hundred times "i'm DONE! I'M ALL DONE!!!" and you're trying to get there as fast as you can but the timer just beeped and you need to take the chicken out of the oven...
keeping things picked up and organized...
disciplining naughty behavior...consistently...even when you don't want to...
kissing boo boos and giving bandaids and hugs liberally...
doing the errands while keeping everyone semi-happy...
and sometimes throwing it all out the window, all in the name of TLC and playtime, even on days that you're operating on little or no sleep.

i mean it's no wonder sometimes you feel like you need a little break from the chaos.


however.
i have to confess:
i'll take the smudgy fingerprints on my glass doors.
and the spilled goldfish on my carpet.
i'll wipe the bum for the hundredth time that day. even if i JUST changed that diaper. or she JUST went potty 3 minutes ago.
i'll even take the tears.
because i know that around the corner from those tears is a big hug and a sweet nuzzle.
the nuzzle that makes me feel warm. and whole.
and i know i'd feel completely empty without the chaos.
i am chaos right now.
and that's ok.
the truth of it is i really wouldn't trade my job for a fancy orderly house, lovely clothes, a flashy car, or even a million billion dollars. seeing these little girls grow and learn truly makes me feel like the richest lady in the world.


with them in my life, i have all i need.
because i'm a mom.
and i'm beyond blessed.

xoxo

Saturday, August 13, 2011

funk.

have you noticed my empty presence in the blogosphere?
maybe you haven't.
i'm just in one of those funks i sometimes get in.
where blogging sounds hard.
making dinner sounds hard.
coming up with a dinner plan sounds hard.
wiping yet another bum sounds hard.
and all the other things in life that really are hard seem really really really hard.
no i'm not depressed.
no i'm not just trying to be dramatic.
i just am feeling funky.
and need to find my spark and groove again.
anyone seen my spark or groove laying around?
please return them both asap.
till then, here's a couple of treasures to prove we're alive and well.
(because just cuz i'm in a funk doesn't mean i've put down the camera(s)).







xoxo