Friday, January 21, 2011

the thoughts i think

welcome to a random post of some of the thoughts i had racing through my mind at 4 am...as i laid in bed, wide awake, for no good reason at all.

last night, the girls and i were fevery and sniffly, so by 5:30 pm we were all in our jam jams (thats pajamas for all you who don't speak toddler) and snuggled in my bed watching the Little Mermaid and eating crackers, cheese, oranges, gogurts and fruit snacks...nothing but the essentials when we're sick.
 
after the girls went to their own beds,  i stayed in mine and ate an insane amount of Oreos while watching American Idol. my toes are wiggling in my bed right now...alongside some suspicious crumbs. while being sick is no fun...and crumbs are normally a big no-no in the bed, i loved our little jam jam party and will treasure it in my memory bank.

i'm surprised how much i like American Idol this season...and how much i don't miss Simon (sorry Simon). Steven Tyler is hilarious and Jennifer Lopez is adorable...and Randy is back to his cool self. makes me happy that it's not a royal flop as i thought it might be.

before my previous post, Ellie spent much of the last few weeks looking at me like this:


to put it in a few words: we have been having a hard time understanding one another.
but in the last few days, we have spent many moments like this instead:

 
it's amazing how having a new outlook combined with lots of prayers really does change things.

we have missed our M terribly this week. not having a daddy/the hubs around is lame.  we're so excited for some good hugs, laughs, cuddles and playing tonight.

the sun has been shining this week. it's amazing what some sunshine does for my mood, even if it's still chilly outside. we've gone on walks, runs, and even enjoyed the park together with friends. i missed you, sunshine.


Ellie hasn't worn real clothes for 3/4 of the week. she got some dress-ups for Christmas and is obsessed. it's pretty cute to see her get all dolled up.

 

however i can't lie- i'm totally looking forward to her being able to dress herself up...especially when she wants to change 5 minutes after we just got dressed. my favorite is when she totally into character: for example: dressing as Alice in Wonderland, holding Alice, and watching Alice.


or watching Mickey Mouse clubhouse, dressed as Minnie, holding two Minnies...

the same with Belle and Snow White...and Sleeping Beauty..and Cinderella...geesh, we're basically a Disney gift shop over here at any given moment throughout the day.

Alice has a weird Alphalpha spike on the back of her head. you know, where no matter what you do or how much you try to mat it down, the hair just sticks straight up. this picture illustrates it pretty well:


this Alphalpha spike does concern me, some. i mean, how do i fix it? it looks pretty ridiculous. should i cut it? i honestly am at a loss. baby hair is so odd.

i love how Alice has found her hands. she's obsessed...and can't keep 'em out of her face.

 
since we got home from Christmas, she's been a lousy sleeper...(up several times a night) and since i've been under the weather this week, i decided- kid, you've found your hands, it's time to self-soothe (aka, cry it out). it's funny how i was so adamant that i was going to be so great at it this time, and do it so much sooner because it changed my life last time. well. let me tell you something: hearing your baby cry is no easier the second time, especially when you know you can just go in there, give 'em the milk, and they'll be happy. ugh. but, i can't go on in zombie mode like this. so cry-it-out it is. sad mama it is. and sad little Alice it is. but it's only for a short time, right? i keep telling myself that and hoping that it's really true.

i realized this week that i need to purchase a lock for my bedroom door...and a quiet one, at that. thank you Modern Family, for giving me that epiphany.

one of my favorite baby items right now is this sweater of Alice's:

 

it has a zipper in the back, all the way to the hood. i love it because since the zipper is in the back, it doesn't get in the way of her mouth the way a zip-up usually does...but unlike pull over sweaters, you only put the head through the hood, and then you can put the arms through like a normal zip-up. this is wonderful since my babies aren't so much fans of getting dressed/having their heads stuck in a sweater while you find their arms or whatever. wow, i have thought way too much about this one little item of clothing.

i love that my little girls have each other. i really do. i think having a sister is one of life's treasures. and while Ellie has her moments sharing my attention, boy does she love that Alice. and boy does Alice adore that Ellie.


i'm obsessed with yogurtland and think about it multiple times a day. i'm pretty sure it would be cheaper for me to buy a frozen yogurt machine for my house than to keep going out to get it as often as i do.

Alice has very kissable cheeks. i love them.


and spend at least 1/2 of my days kissing on them.


i think it's funny how Ellie is so amazed by all of Alice's baby things. like the bumbo.

 

and she wants to be sure i know that she used to use that when she was a baby too. so funny. i'm just waiting for her to ask me to put her in the bjorn. it's only a matter of time.

i'm getting ready to make the big purchase: the double stroller. i'm pretty set on getting the phil & ted's jogger...but man that's gonna break the bank. but my health and sanity are worth it, right? do any of you have a different stroller you swear by? just curious.

Ellie stinks at sharing. how do you guys get your kids to share so well? the only person Ellie shares well with is her baby Roxy.


and even that's a stretch sometimes.

thanks to my friend Elyse, we discovered this awesome little play place called "the jungle" a few weeks ago. it's basically like a souped up McDonald's play place.
Ellie thought it was the coolest place ever...she stayed in the ball pit for at least an hour. seriously. did not move.


while i couldn't help but think and wonder about the amount of germs festering in this place... i had to remind myself that Ellie was in heaven. i wish i wasn't such a mom sometimes.

lately i love it most when Alice holds really tight on to me in some way with her little fist clinched tightly.


Ellie never really did that. it makes me feel like she's safe with me. and i think i decided that there's nothing greater than feeling safe and at peace...and that's what i want my children always to feel with me and in our home. because while i would love for all of us to be super duper happy all of the time, the reality is that life is messy and unfortunate things happen sometimes. but yearning to feel safe and at peace is something we can always feel, even when life gets messy. i hope my kids always feel safe with me and in our home.

and then somewhere around 5:15 am, i drifted into a fuzzy dream-like state, where all i heard were Disney & Mickey Mouse Clubhouse songs. and i think i haven't thought a single thought since (except for that thought i had of not thinking). so for today, that's all.

xoxo

11 comments:

ed and kelli said...

i love this marce. love the pictures. love your girls. want to meet them. miss you dearly. sad your hubs is gone.. it's the worst, i share your pain. also.. my two cents on the double stroller. i searched forever for the one i wanted because they do break the bank.. but i say go for it.. find the one you absolutely love cause it will get use and you want a good quality one for sure! i went for the more expensive one {i have a city mini double.. by baby jogger ..i just wish now it was a jogging stroller but i'll live} anyway, it was alot but i love it and it gets great use.. and my kids love it. :) so go for it.. i hear phil and teds are great!

Megan said...

Gosh I could relate to a lot of this post. I'm sorry you weren't sleeping. That's the worst when you're sleep deprived. I love Alice's sweet little cheeks. Very kissable. And I love seeing that little blanket I made for ellie. It made me smile. Okay, question: How do you eat large amounts of yogurt and oreos and stay so darn skinny? You look great!

Megs said...

I just have to comment, though I think I comment too often.

1. we've been having parties in our jammies recently, too. Tis the season for sickness and we are not immune. But the girls love those days & I don't mind the crumbs as much as I thought I would. :)

2. I'm scared to watch the new season of american idol. I think I would miss Simon too much.

3. emerie only wears dress up clothes lately, too. And her newest favorite is Cinderella, so she gets her Cinderella doll and we watch Cinderella. And she asks to watch it 30 million times a day. Ugh. But pretty cute, too. How does disney do it?!

4. you are one brave mama to try the cry-it-out method. I'm a complete wuss and gave up very early on with emerie. So I don't dare try this time. Instead, we just tried the method of going in there at night, putting our hand on her chest until she calms down, binkie in, and then leaving. The article I read about it said it would take about a week before it was over. The first night I was in Emerie's room no less than 100 times (I kid you not)...but by day 5 I was only in there once a night and after that it was over. That was when she was older - like 6-9 months old. So we still have awhile for Ava to be doing such shenanigans. *sigh*

5. we've considered buying a frozen yogurt machine, too. Orange Leaf is our favorite spot. It's close. Too close.

6. Emerie is obsessed with Ava's bumbo! And the boppy. And the baby bjorn. And the bouncer seat.

7. I looked into phil and teds strollers and wanted to cry when I saw the price. They're oh-so-lovely but oh-so-expensive. I asked around and I have a few friends that went with baby trend double jogging strollers. The one bad review they receive is the fact that the front wheel wobbles when you first buy it, but the quick & easy fix is if you tighten the wheel it won't wobble anymore. Why the manufacturer doesn't just do that is beyond me, but whatever. And our single jogger was a baby trend and it was great. I ran a 5k with it and had no issues. So I'm thinking I might buy one of those. $200 or less price tag versus $500.

8. I don't have advice on sharing, sorry. Wish I did. Pass yours along if you get any. Emerie is in a "my/mine" phase right now. Oh the joys. ;)

Sorry for the uber-long comment but I just adore your happy thoughts and how similar they are to mine. You just word them better ;)

Jarom and Amber said...

Darn my preggo emotions right now.. even this post has me in tears. LOVED the comment about Modern Family. I laughed so hard watching that episode! :)Your house looks so beautiful in the background.. I really enjoy the purple room! It looks great!

Sorry.. no advice on the stroller. I still have awhile before needing the double and am researching away on the same thing.

As for the sharing.. in order to get my stepdaughter to share, distraction is what she needed. We would try to get her to find another toy she liked and then let her choose which one she would play with and which she would give to her cousin or whoever (at the time she was 3 and 4). When she was 6 and got a baby brother, she needed some reminding that even though he didn't understand what was going on, he needed something to play with too. She is now the first to find something to share with him.. or to trade if she wants what he has. I'm currently trying the distraction method with my 18 month old and it seems to be working.. as long as there is another toy, animal, etc for him to choose from he is pretty happy. I just hope we can get it down before baby #2 arrives.

Good luck!

Allie said...

Marci, I think you are wonderful, and I love reading your blog. You always put things in the right perspective, and boy do I need that sometimes. Not to mention, your girls are adorable...whether or not they like to share. Who likes to share? :) I'm excited to be in your ward!

ClaysJenna said...

I love your blog. I don't think I say it enough. But I love to read it. I love to see pictures of your beautiful family! Your girls are just adorable!

Kris said...

I love the blanket that's in the pic of you and Alice in the mirror. Very cute.

And oh, the double stroller dilemma. I obsessed about a double stroller for months. I ended up getting a MacLaren Twin Techno and I love it... mostly. I swear by this stroller, but probably for different reasons than you're looking for. My priority was portability. I love being able to keep a stroller in the back of my car (and not have it take up all the room so I still have room to fit other things too) for when I'm out and about. I can just whip it out and have it for major convenience, shopping, at park, etc. So this is more on the side of a suped up double-umbrella stroller, allowing it to be more compact. I do everything under the sun with it, except run. But that's because I never run outside and that's not a need of mine. I just go walking with it and love it. It's narrow enough to fit through doors and folds up small enough to go through security at the airport. So there you have it. But cheers to any double stroller that brings you sanity! Good luck!

Kris said...

ps) I had to laugh because at first glance I almost thought that was your boob in the last picture that Alice was snuggled up against. Can you tell I'm still very much in lactation-land?!

Marce said...

thanks everybody...for all your info...and tips and help. you guys are the sweetest.
Kris: FYI, i removed that picture..because you're totally right....it looked like major boobage! all i can say is, i promise it was NOT....but man. i don't need people thinking i'm flaunting my milk all about my blog! :) thanks for pointing that out. and thanks for laughing instead of judging me. miss you and our provo home!

Tiffany Johnson said...

LOVE THIS. LOVE YOU. I am so so sad that your little ones are growing up so fast. They are so adorable. I really really really miss our chats during sunday school in our own little nursery. I miss you my friend.

Linda said...

Marci: I cannot believe your brain works that well at dawn! Can I keep you?
Te adora,
Tu Madre