things that make me smile.

(having my mom call worried if i was down in the pits of despair due to my last post...plus tons of your overwhelmingly thoughtful responses made me realize what a bump on a log i sounded like a couple-a days ago. so, i thought i'd let you know that amidst my flair for the dramatic, i do smile a couple hundred times a day...and these are just some of the reasons why...)

• Ellie's pretend sleeping. definition: when Ellie goes and gets a blanket from her room and pretends to be sleeping. and then yells, "Mama! Mama! MAAAMMM! Ellie's sleeping!"
  
  
  
  
  
  and so then, once she's gotten my attention that she's sleeping, she'll close her eyes real good, and then smile, and giggle a little bit...until she finally says, "Ellie's awake now!"
  
  
  
  
  
• the way Ellie refers to herself in third person. and is desperately trying to sort out all of her pronouns, but often says, "Where is her? it? his?" or "Who is him? her?" or "Mama, hold you?" (instead of Mama hold me). i'm going to miss it when she fixes this someday. though i do think it would be weird if my 13 year old still had her pronouns mixed up.
  
  
• another Ellie phrase: when she says "whoa!" especially when it's accompanied by "crazzy!" it's so expressive and funny when she says it. like the spatula fell from the counter at dinner time tonight and she said, "whoa, crazy!" such a character.
  
  
• my man. and calling him my man. he he.

• my new lovely duvet coverlet from ikea. just a step in the right direction of decorating...only $15 bucks to spruce up my shabby-lookin' bed. now bring on some pillows! (my next project. right next to all the painting and refinishing and nesting i have to do in the next 12 weeks).
  
  
  
  
  
• our garden. now, it may seem a little random to you that we built some redwood planter boxes to have a garden BEFORE laying sod and finishing our backyard. quite frankly, it's a little random to me too. but i'm so glad we did. because while M has been gone, i've had something to work on and pour a little of my love (and loving sweat, of course) into. and now, we are already enjoying its fruits- peppers galore, zuchinni, and the tomatoes are a-comin'. you know me and my salsa love. to say that i'm thrilled about it all is a huge understatement.
  
  
  
  
  
• this is related to our garden- but deserves it's own special smile: gardening with Ellie. you see, i really have wanted to plant pumpkin plants in our third planter box- but i must've been a hair too late because i couldn't find them anywhere. so two Saturdays ago, i decided to have Ellie help me plant some pumpkin seeds into these little cups to make our own pumpkin plants. like this:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  it was so cute. she spilled dirt everywhere- on me, on the floor, on the table...and just a little made it into the cups. her favorite part was putting the seeds in though, and then making them disappear. she thought that was pretty magical. since then, we water them together basically every day. i was a little worried that they might not grow anything...what a bummer that'd be. especially the part when i'd have to tell Ellie, "sorry sweetie. Ssnlight, water and dirt + seeds don't grow plants all the time. only sometimes. like the sometimes your Mama has nothing to do with it." but much to my giddy excitement the other day, we saw a bud! you should have seen Ellie. she jumped up and down, and spun around...and then tried to pluck that thing right outta there. silly girl. and today, all 10 cups have little pumpkin sprouts. we're getting ready to plant a few of them this weekend- (side note: i'll have 1 extra little-pumpkin sprout and 3 extra big-pumpkin sprouts. is anyone interested in these? let me know). i'm just hopin' we'll have some pumpkins in time for Halloween! (though, i'm sure i will be in infant-la-la-land at that point and won't give a poop about pumpkins...yipee).
  
  
  
  
  
• country music. and yeah, i love me some Taylor Swift- such a cutie. but i'm talkin' about the Brad Paisley and Tim McGraw country. because Brad is freakin' hilarious, and Tim is the sexiest cowboy on the planet. i'll never forget the day i saw him in torn, worn, & tight floral embroidered jeans singin "where the green grass grows" when i was in tenth grade. changed me for good...and can always put a smile on my face.

 {what a sexy man}

• my house. even with the graham crackers sprinkled generously all over the carpet (which you could observe in the pretend-sleeping pictures) like they are right now. and the mismatched furniture. and the piles of mail that i don't know what to do with. and the laundry that doesn't seem to fit anywhere. and the endless piles of dirt + weeds in the backyard. i love my first little house and smile just thinking that it really is ours. our very first home.

• dressing up like a princess. don't you worry: it's the first thing we do in the morning and the last thing we do before we go to bed. in fact, yesterday when Ellie woke up, she put on her skirt, crown + sparkly red shoes and said to me "What's Princess Ellie doin?" and then last night and tonight before bed, she insists on having princess dance parties...which consists of me putting on the disney station on Pandora, Ellie putting on her fluffy pink skirt, and us twirling together for a good 15 minutes. what a way to wind down for bedtime, huh?

•  playing the piano. when we went down to So Cal the beginning of this month, we were able to make a getaway with the piano i grew up playing on. tender, i know. but there really is something magical about sitting down and playing the instrument i played through my childhood years. i must mention this though- since i left home 7 years ago, i haven't had a piano in my house. yes, my skill-level has greatly deteriorated. in fact, Ellie gets very frustrated when i make mistakes. i have this book full of classic disney songs...and if i make one mistake, she'll say to me, "play a different song, Mama." tough critic. still, playing the piano expresses a part of my soul that's been asleep for a long long time. and it just feels right.

• the little smiley faces that you make on the computer- these ones: :) they just look all friendly... like a cute little grin. and they usually make me mimic a cute little grin right back.
  
  
• a new shirt. even a big tenty-ish maternity one. that always takes the frump out, spreads a smile and makes me a feel a little more cute for some reason. one of my faves recently is a target maternity shirt- i have to try really hard not to wear it every day. because it's comfy. and has those rouched sides which is somewhat flattering to my sad little love-handles that i don't remember having last pregnancy.
  
  
  
  
  
  {p.s. this model does NOT make me smile. who looks like that during pregnancy? c'mon. that's just mean to all of us REAL prego's out there.}
• french toast. and whipped cream. and fruit. and homemade syrup. and don't forget the powdered sugar. as if there wasn't enough of that in this already. mmmm. (maybe my regular consumption of these babies explains the newly-improved love handles?)

•  thinking of Jacob in his denim-cut-off jean shorts. and Jasper and his creepy-eyes/Willy Wonka hair-do.

•  baby kicks. shakes. and rolls. i feel like i already know this feisty stinker. and i want to tell her to pick on someone her own size when it's 3 am and i wake up to one of those kicks/shakes/rolls. but it also makes me give a groggy little smile. even at 3 am.

• when M & E do exercises together. so stinkin' cute. and funny lookin' too.

• snuggles and kisses from M & E. especially when caressing my hair is involved. that sounds mighty nice right about now. M? where are you?

• phone calls and texts from my family and friends. and even comments from you. yes, those always smear a big smile across my face.

see. lots of things make me smile. lots and lots and lots of things.
and yes, i realize a good chunk of them include Ellie.
but she is my world right now.
and boy does she make me smile.

:)

xoxo