a driver's license saga.

this is me thanking you for de-lurking yourselves yesterday.
i feel so loved.
and refreshed.
and re-inspired.
and ready to blog again.

in fact, since i feel like we're all such good friends now, and that much closer, i've decided to tell you a little something about me. a little secret, perhaps. and, let you into my circle of trust.

*now please note, what you are about to read is me putting aside years of built-up pride. i realllllyyyy hate to admit this. and i probably will deny it if you ask me about it. but here it goes:

driving isn't my best skill.
(cough).
(phew).
(GASP).

and, like most of my faults, i won't take responsibility for it.
no, no.
i blame it on my blood.

you see, my brother, when taking us to school every morning in high school, hit several moving and stationary objects with our steel beast: a bus, several curbs, just to name a few. he got pulled over once for speeding after zooming past a cop on the freeway. seriously, who doesn't notice a copper driving RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?

now i've had my fair share of fender benders...backing into several things, hitting a wall in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building Parking lot while admiring my new engagement ring (now that's another story), rear-ending a tow-truck that left it's beautiful dent in my front bumper, which created such whiplash that it sent all my beautiful hand-dipped chocolate strawberries (of which i had lovingly made for my kindergartners on Valentine's Day last year) to squish and squash all over my dashboard, and most recently, 180-ing on I-15 in a snow storm, only to run into a mile-marker...which sent my side-view mirror flying into some nearby mound of snow. UGH. anyways, i've also been infamous for speeding... getting several tickets for it in my past...and even for running a red light (which, might i add, got sent to my in-laws house...and there were pictures of me cluelessly staring into the abyss. and fyi: red light tickets in california are 400 bucks. now that's an OUCH).

and let's not forget my lovely baby sis...backing into gardening trucks...or better yet, destroying someone's garage/yard after plummeting through it with someone else's car...when she was 13.

yeah, like i said, we Hartley's aren't known for our driving skills.

but i'm not really here to talk about that.
no.
i'm here to talk about my recent DMV experience.

here comes my confession. the realll point of this post (deep breath).
for the last 18 months, i've been driving with an expired license (GASP!).
i know, right!? how could i be so careless? don't i care about the law? what kind of example am i giving to my children?? what if, just WHAT IF i had gotten pulled over in the last year and a half??

don't you worry, i've thought all those things myself.
now, i know you're asking yourself, or you're getting ready to ask me, Marci, why in the world did you wait so long to get your license renewed? are you taking crazy pills??
i have a really really bad answer.
no, really.
it's bad.

i didn't want a new picture.
stop judging me.
you see, when i got married, i had to get a new license to change my name. that was only like 3 1/2 years ago. and, for once in my life, i took a tolerable drivers license picture...one that i liked and wasn't embarrassed to show to people when they asked to see it...


and i really really didn't want to go take a new one because i knew that i wouldn't get so lucky twice. especially since my license expired while i was pregnant. and every pregnant lady agrees that they just don't look like their normal lovely self. i mean, who wants a swollen driver's license picture??
oh man.
i'm horrible, huh?

well, when we changed our car insurance a few weeks ago, we got a notice saying that if i didn't renew my license right away, something awful would happen to me...like a skyscraper would fall on me...or something equally frightening. so, i went to the DMV.

i was so scared. what were they going to say to such a law-breaker??

well,

if i'm being honest, they didn't say much.
really.
all the lady said was,
"wow, 18 months. where've you been lady?"
and i just chuckled.
and said "i know, seriously."
and that was that.

of course, i had to take the stupid test. but it wasn't so bad...i mean, it's open-book, people. so, 25/25 points later, i was up standing in front of that weird screen thingy. and begged the lady, "please, i know this is silly, but can i please keep my picture?"
she said no.
and snapped a new one.

this is what they gave me:


look at my nose!
really, look closely.
it looks HUMUNGO! all smashed in and creepy lookin'. i look like a weirdee.
i just knew it would be bad.

but luckily, when they mailed me the real one, it wasn't so bad as i thought.



and even though i miss my old license and picture, i'm happy to not be breaking the law every time i get behind the wheel.

ok, now you know a little secret about me. shhhhhhhh. don't tell :)

xoxo