Tuesday, October 25, 2011

procrastinating felt.

right now i'm laying on the couch listening to Ellie laugh while M throws her beloved stuffed dogs (the ones that sleep with her in her bed every night- and have since...forever) up onto the ceiling fan so that he can turn it on and watch them fly. dads really are just more fun than us worn out moms. because right now i want to go in there and say "quit the shenanigans, you two- it's past your bed-time!! lights out!" but that makes me feel elderly, so i'll just sit here with my feet cozied up on the couch in my new adorable Toms (courtesy of adorable sister) and let my peeps be happy a little longer.

life has recently become so full and busy for me and our little family. busy = good- but also tiring. so tiring. and so i'm taking a mini-break on my little cozy yellow couch. a break to let some of my wild thoughts free.

one of the big life-changes is that i got called to be the Primary President in my ward (feel free to insert gasp here...like unto the congregational gasp that happened when they made the announcement in Sacrament Meeting last Sunday). (for those not-LDS readers out there- this just means that i, along with three other women, are in charge of running the child organization in our church group). i have gone through a whirlwind of emotions since i got called. first and foremost, i feel inadequate. i'm only 26 years old. i know that experience = knowledge and wisdom, and i just have very little of either of those things. i am so lucky to have some wonderful counselors and secretary, 2 of which have been the primary president before. but i honestly feel like a little duckling trying to lead the ducks- it is ridiculous thinking of a duckling leading a duck- but that's how it feels. i just know there are far more experienced, capable women out there- and am scared to make mistakes.

having said all of that, i have been overwhelmed by the love i have felt from Heavenly Father. i feel like He truly knows me and understands the chaos that is my life sometimes- and will help me get through it- and make peace out of this chaos...somehow. and for now, i find sure peace knowing that I love Him, and i love children, and hopefully those two things will be on my side. i know many of you wonderful women have served and are serving in callings like these- and that inspires me! and of course, i'm so excited for all of the things that these children will teach me- i can't wait to surround myself with their sticky hands and chatter-box voices- and their pure faith and hearts. i just love kids so much.

and so that's my new life in the Primary.

before i knew about this calling, i had signed up for this Quiet Book Co-op- basically it was this group if ladies that were going to make X number of a designated gospel-topic-felt page, and we'd all swap. I'm not sure when or how this ever appealed to me- because i hardly sew, and i am barely crafty. but the thought of having an adorable homemade book like those masterpieces floating around on pinterest was kind of exciting. so i signed up.

birthdays happened. family came into town. world went crazy with new calling. felt book = last priority.

and now, my pages (28 of them! 28!!!!) are due on Saturday and i feel like a tenth grader who has procrastinated her end of semester project that counts for 97.3% of her grade.

I'm about to flunk.

guys why did i do this to myself?

ugh. thank goodness for awesome friends who will help you for hours and hours sewing snaps and cutting felt. and even for a husband who (bless his heart) did his best to cut some deformed fruit. both acts of true love.

but the truth is, i don't know if i'll ever be able to look at or touch felt again.

and yet it calls to me. because i'm not finished yet. and wonder if i ever will be.

hey, at least X factor is on!
i've always been a sucker for reality TV.
and i really like Astro the rapper and Drew- but i've also always been a sucker for the teen-boppers.

ok, now i'm just procrastinating again. it's just so easy to do when felt is involved.



Kris said...

Yay! You'll be wonderful in the Primary!!! I have nothing to say (because callings are SO difference for everyone) except that you'll be stellar because you'll give it your all!

D-dawg said...

Marci that is a BIG calling and I think you will do a great job! I like your description of the duckling trying to lead the ducks- But sometimes age just doesn't matter. Good luck!!! See you in a couple of weeks!

Megan said...

Congratulations on such an exciting time in your life! What an amazing opportunity to be called as the primary president! I just know you'll be great. I'm sure you will learn a lot and others will learn from you. It's always a two-way street :) It's probably crazy, but I've always wanted big callings like that. I've been a primary teacher - which is the.best. But more recently it's been those secondary callings that everyone hates you - like VT coordinator. I love VT and I believe in it, but everyone hates me. I'm enemy #1 in RS. Good times. :) Good luck with everything!

And I love doing felt projects! After this big undertaking you'll need to take a much-needed rest, but then it'll get fun again. :)

Becca said...

When I read that you were going to be the Primary president I totally thought "yeah that's perfect she'll be so great." Seriously. You're awesome and great with kids and fun and cool and I love your new toms. Just remember balance. I think sometimes you just have to let things go and know it's ok if they are not perfect (even if it's church stuff and you feel the guilt ha). I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect at everything :) I've had to let go of my perfectly clean house to do Bryant stuff (which makes me sad), but I know if I didn't I would go insane. I love you friend! I totally believe in your capabilities to be a very kick ass primary president. haha. I just swore before saying primary. hardy har har.

Marissa said...

Hi Marci,

I've been totally blog stalking you for a while now- you are a great writer! And I love hearing about your raising your kids in Walnut Creek (I grew up in Concord and sometimes imagine what it would be like to raise my kids back there- so many good things!) Anyhow, I am primary president in my ward here in Portland and have been for the past 3 years. I hadn't even been in a primary room since I had graduated from primary when I was 12. It was totally overwhelming. It sounds like you have some great counselors to learn from though. THat plus your personality and love for kids will be perfect. And plus sugardoodle.net when you are stumped for ideas. You will do great!

Linda said...

I learn from the young Moms in our primary so much! I love being led by little ducklings. My favorite.
Quack away darling!
Didn't know you "felt" this way about "felt". Oh, Marci, the things that you do and say! You're a lovable.

Ashley and Aaron said...

I was recently called as the choir director in our ward and felt SO overwhelmed! But I have already felt the Lord's guiding influence and support...it is amazing how when we rely on Him we really can take on any challenge and I know you will do awesome. Hope you got your quiet book pages done! I want one of those too...

Mat and Brooke said...

Marci, you will make the world's greatest Primary President...and I mean that. Your Bishop couldn't have possibly been more inspired! Love you lots.