dear 2010,

i know, i know.
you've been gone for over 2 weeks now.
but i'm not the type that breaks up or does goodbye's very well.
i always wanted to stay friends.
to not let anyone leave my life indefinitely.
because that's just heart-wrenching.
but there you went.
closed the door on me.
very quickly, too, might i add.
but 2010, you didn't even give me the chance to tell me how much you meant to me.

you see, you gave me the gift of a 2nd pregnancy.
you were there, with me through every moment of that hormonal roller coaster.
you watched me puke my guts out.
and you watched my body morph into a crazy version of itself.
and you were there as my tummy rolled and kicked.
and you even accompanied me to every dr. appointment to hear every heartbeat, see every limb in those ultrasounds, and to feel every bit of joy i felt as i became more and more in love with this new little person that would soon fill our lives. thank you for giving me that gift of a healthy, beautiful 2nd pregnancy.

you watched us move into our first house.
you saw the boxes pile into our dining room.

and you were with us as we found places to empty those boxes.
and you were even there to watch us renovate, create, and decorate (lots of ates) for the very first time.
you helped us transform this first little ole house into a beautiful little ole home.
thank you for giving us such a lovely little ole home. i love it.

together we learned new things:
how to garden- and plant pumpkins from seedlings.
how to sew- and create crib bumper pads.
how to refinish furniture- and make it beautiful again.
thanks for helping me dare to learn new things.

you also were there when i got to play host the first few times.
it took some getting used to.
and made me realize how stinking amazing my mom truly is.
how did she keep the laundry going and the bathrooms clean and dinner made and the house looking spic 'n span & vacuumed all the time, even when guests were in the house? wow. she's amazing.

you helped me cultivate old friendships...in fact,

you hung out with me + one of my best friends Becca + her sister Nat in San Fran when they came and visited me for a weekend. (Bec, the following pictures are for you. i think i told you i'd post them or something like forever ago and never did. does this make up for it?? better late than never??)

{no your eyes arent' doing tricks on you. because yes, they're twins.}

 you were there when we ate good Italian food at that chic little cafe in Little Italy.

and you were there when we stuffed our faces with authentic Mexican food and decadent Ghirardelli sundaes.

 

and you were even there when we had a crazy-scary run-in with a bunch of teenage punks who tried to steal my phone and my purse one night. bunch of hooligans.

{why are you laughing, Nat? getting mugged is no laughing matter}

and then you were there that afternoon after i drove them to the airport and i cried my eyes out because i missed being close to my friends. thanks for never telling anybody about that.

but you were also there to help me make new friends.
you watched me step out of my awkward 20-something-year-old comfort zone to rediscover myself and make new relationships and friendships.
and what sweet, lasting friendships i made.
so sweet that they even threw me my very own surprise baby shower.

it was one of the kindest things anyone had ever done for me.
one that left a huge impact on me.
and that i will always remember.
you helped me feel so grateful to have such kind friends looking out for me, taking care of me, and helping me feel loved. thank you for watching out for me and giving me so many wonderful friendships.

we continued our lasting relationship with television.
wow, you gave me lots of good television.
we said many goodbye's this year..to some of my favorite shows.
we said "peace out" to Jack Bauer and Simon Cowell...
and even the cast of Lost...after which i cried my eyes out. that was a tough goodbye.
but we also welcomed new shows to the list...
my favorite addition being Modern Family....with all its quirkiness and adorableness in each and every character. thank you for giving me the hilariousness of Phil Dunphy and Cam and Gloria.

you were with us as we went to Mexico with M's family.

what an awesome vacation!
it marked the end of my pregnancy sickness...what a relief!
it felt so great to be with M for a good chunk of time after a crazy busy season.
it also felt so great to just sit on the beach and relax.
we felt so wonderful and blessed to spend so much time laughing, eating, playing, and making memories. hola mexico!

together we got involved in a new ward.
how lucky we were to be in such a warm, inviting and loving family ward.
immediately, you watched me get put to work in the Young Women's organization.
how my testimony grew as i prepared lessons and thought about those sweet little spunky teenagers each week.

i have loved every minute of it...even the nights that Ellie has had to tag along with me to activities.
thank you for helping us find such a perfect ward for our little family.

you were there when mr M and i celebrated 5 years of marriage together.

had it really been 5 years since it was our special day?
it seemed so surreal.
together we shared a wonderful getaway in the City...complete with bike-rides to the golden gate bridge (yes, and a fall to my butt),

 

fine dining, martinelli's (living on the wild side), sleeping in, movies, and more fine dining. 

it was a rejuvinating weekend.
one where we reminisced about the last five years and talked about the future.
one where we remembered how much we loved each other.
one where i remembered how lucky i am to have married the kindest man on the planet...and my very best friend. thank you for giving me that weekend to always remember, 2010.

we passed through summer quickly spending more days in the kiddie pool than out of it.

Ellie loved that thing.
we also owned more season passes than we ever had at any other time in our lives...one to the Zoo, Sea World, Disneyland, and Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. we were regulars everywhere.
we also went to many park days, spent time at pools and clubs around town, and vacationed multiple times down South to visit my family in Southern California.

Southern California truly became a second home to us.
you helped me survive some lonely weeks without M by traveling to visit my family there.
you helped me remember how lucky i am to have such a nurturing, supportive, fun family.
and how lucky Ellie is to have such a wonderful family, too.

we spent time laughing and getting pedicures.
eating yummy meals.
learning the ins and outs of San Clemente.
going to Disneyland and Sea World.
and falling in love with the beach. how Ellie loovves the beach!

oh man, remember how little Ellie was when you first came along?
she was practically a baby...just barely 18 months!

and now look at her- you gave her the greatest-changing year of her life.
she learned so many things, i can't even remember them all. like how much she likes spaghetti. and hot dogs. and vanilla yogurt. ok, and candy.
you were there when she discovered Disneyland for the first time...and the second...and the third...never had she experienced so much awe and joy.
you were there when she hated nursery...and you stuck with her until she learned to love it...and now she talks about it almost every day.
you were also there when she realized she loved the slide.
and her independence.
and dressing up in dress-ups..and dancing...

 

or blowing bubbles...

and movies- long ones like Tinkerbell and Toy Story and Snow White. and short ones like Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse.
and playing with her toys...literally.

you were with her on her first day of school ever.

and her first day of dance class ever.
both moments i will cherish always.
and you were there when she became terribly two. with all of those tantrums and wails and screams...and throwing lollipops at cashiers' faces.
and you were there when she became terribly adorably two, too. with her voluntary kisses and hugs, her  "i love you's", and "awe! that's so cute!" and "i'm a princess, mama!"
and my favorite thing you were there for with Ellie was when she became a sister. and how much she treasured that moment when she first met Alice. remember how gentle she was with her?

 

she kept caressing Alice's face and counting her fingers and toes. and she wanted to kiss her over and over again. 

nothing in the world had ever been so sincere and sweet.

which reminds me how magical it was when we brought Alice into this world.

 

you almost had her come on my birthday.
i would have been mad at you for that.
i'm glad you knew better.
what a wonderfully special day it was when Alice joined the world.
you gave me the most perfect day possible.
one that was almost peaceful...and that was surely joyful...which explains her name, Alice Joy.

and the months after that have been the same.
you saw me adjust to 2 children...yes, i sometimes struggled (and still do), but you were patient with me. you let me know that things would work out.
and they have.
how i adore that little Alice.
thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me little Miss Alice.

and then the holidays came.
you watched me fulfill my dorky calling in life to create family ensemble costumes as we dressed up as Old McDonald's farm.

and then before we knew it, we were baking pies (you helped me successfully make my first pie ever), making rolls and roasting turkeys....and telling each other how grateful we were for all our infinite blessings.
and then i blinked, and dance recitals, christmas trees, Alice's blessing day, christmas lights, secret santas, holiday parties, wrapping paper, gifts, Santa's visit, our trip to San Clemente...and everything in between rushed by us in a flash.

and then there we were...my parents, Mimi, M, Ellie, Alice and i... eating Sushi... on your very last day.
it was my first time ever eating Sushi.
i liked it.
a lot.
you helped me feel chic and trendy one last time, my friend 2010.
and then the ball dropped.
and to follow suit, i missed it.
and you were gone.
before i got to say goodbye.
so here it is:

you were good to my little family, 2010.

 {this picture makes me laugh....the person taking this obviously didn't realize Ellie was there, too....}

you helped me grow up a lot.
i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not- but one thing i am sure of is that i am grateful for all of these memories you gave me.
i'm a better person for having met you and hung out with you. i miss you already!
so...
goodbye, 2010.
i'll always remember you.
sniff.

xoxo,
Marci