Tuesday, November 17, 2009

an autopilot post.

i realized something strange was going on in Sacrament meeting on Sunday.
after wrestling a little with Ellie...and convincing her that the bread we brought from home was just as good as the bread in the tray, and that the drinks we had were sufficient to quench her thirst...even more sufficient, in fact, than the thimble-sized cups of water they administer...we were taking a little bit of a breather as she played with Grandma sitting on the bench with us. (side note: having a Grandma is the best in Sacrament meeting. for us + for Ellie.)

so, back to our breather..
i look over to M.
and was a little disturbed.
i shockingly whispered, "what the heck are you doing?"
he looked down at his hands that were poking and massaging the bum of Ellie's undressed baby (for some reason, Ellie refuses to keep her babies clothed. i think she is saying to us: you see, us babies are far happier naked. take a hint, M-O-M).
nervously, M chuckled.
and said, "i didn't even realize i was doing that..i swear."
and we laughed.
and he put it down.
i think he was facing a bad case of the auto-pilots.

then, yesterday, i was so excited to notice a BigLots! on the corner here. i have a couple items on my Christmas list (insert WHOA here-- Christmas shopping already??) that i thought i might find at BigLots!, but i had to get home, so i decided i'd go back out later. later came around so i grabbed my BigLots! list, my cute little baby E, and we hit the road. so we were driving along, and i was thinking about Christmas gifts, which led me to think about Christmas recipes, which led me to think of dinner recipes, which led me to think about what i was going to make for dinner. all of a sudden, i noticed the sign behind me. i'd passed it! so i went back.
i then started thinking about Gregory House. (another side note: does anyone watch House? i really love that show). so was thinking about House which led me to think about how happy i was that he had changed and how i wished that Cutty would see his new good heart soon.
dang, where am i?
where is that place?
you guessed it. i passed it again.

well, third time's the charm right?
i was thinking about a lot of stuff that i don't even remember while entertaining Ellie and missed it all over again.

so, after three times of missing the blasted entrance, i finally got in the parking lot, parked he car, and grabbed the kid and put her on my hip. we walked towards BigLots! and opened the door.
i felt confused.

there was no random electronic section.
there was not a random toy section.
there was no random aisles or candy.
there were, however, several assortments of kitchen items.... mostly wine glasses and bottle openers.
i then noticed that this place had lots of wine.
lots and lots of wine.
and rum.
and beer.
and probably vodka.
(those are pretty much all of the alcoholic beverages i know. yes, i'm an ignorant, non-drinker-type)
i took a double-take to the sign, and finally realized it said BEVMO!   not   BIGLOTS!
autopilot, i tell you.

even later,
i pulled out from my stash a pack of peanut m&m's.
(yes i have a stash. it may or not be located in a drawer under my bed. no, M does not know about this stash. no, i do not intend on him finding out about this stash. enough said.)
i began researching coupons.
not reading blogs.
not shopping.
researching COUPONS.
(yes, my interests are becoming a little bleak).
well, 3 seconds after i opened the bag, i reached in for a few more to pop in my lil mouth and much to my dismay....

the package was empty.
someone stole my m&m's!
Ellie, are you eating my m&m's?
wait..Ellie is sleeping.
M, are you eating my m&m's?
wait, he's in Arizona.

or....maybe, just maybe...
i kept poppin' them and poppin' them in my mouth, without even realizing it, until they were all gone.
which means i didn't even get to enjoy them.
because i was eating them brainlessly.

i don't really know what else to say.
other than i often find myself in auto pilot mode these days...
for no explicable reason.
it's pretty easy to live brainlessly, i guess.

oh yeah, and i really want some more peanut m&m's.



Ashley said...

Can't stop laughing! You are hilarious. My whole dang life is an auto-pilot moment. And I stopped eating peanut M&M's for that very reason. Have you tried the almond M&Ms? They're to die for.

Amber said...

It's a survival skill. We moms have to develop autobrain to get through diaper changing and throw up messes and lots of crying - it helps us to get through.

jenny said...

ha! i do stuff like that all the time! especially the last one- i can never figure out who ate all my treats :)

by the way, LOVED discussing coupons last night! not boring at all to me! i am adding your coupon blog to my google reader right now! let me know if you find any good runs!

Linda said...

Marci, You are funny. Auto Pilot! Stew! What next!? You make me laugh, even when I am certain that I will not for the whole day because there is too much seriousness that day or whatever. I am still laughing at Mike rubbing the dolls bum ... hahahahahaha. Maybe now you young MOMs will have an added measure of appreciation for your Ol'MOM's who embarrassed you plenty because of their auto pilotnesses. There is so much humor in this life! I am glad that you take the time to find it and furthermore share it with us all. Thank You and I love you.

Megs said...

Oh my word...This was like reading the story of my life these days!!! Ha ha. Too funny. I don't allow myself to drive these days unless absolutely necessary because of my distracted autopilot mind. :)

mere/tay(xoxo) said...

tell mike that i think he's a creep. jk...sort of. that is hilarious. that's a down right shame that you couldn't enjoy your m&ms. how horrible. how horrible indeed. oh how i love you. and mike too even though he is a doll creeper. ha ha. xoxo

Chris and Brooklyn said...

You are such a good writer, I love reading your blog! Sometimes when I am driving and then get to my destination, I can't recall even driving there, Scary? yes! Autopilot mode? Yes!

erin 'n phil said...

You, my friend, are hilarious.

Travis said...

This is awesome. So awesome, in fact, that I'm willing to be the first dude to comment on it. Mostly so I can let you know that you should move your stash before I tell Mike. I accept bribes. I guess being the only dude in the world to read blogs has certain fringe benefits. :D

Savannah said...

Hilarious. and too true. P.S. Don't you just hate it when the goodies are gone before you realize it? I always like to relish that very last little num, and I miss it when I gobble it up without knowing :)