Monday, November 23, 2009

normal...kinda-sorta...


{this photo is over a year old of our little family...but i love how you can see the love on our faces...well, other than Ellie's face...she's at that age where she's captivated by the fact that she can move those wiggly things attached to her hands called "fingers"... but on M&M's faces...oh sweet love.}

i'm feeling a little more normal now that my better half has returned from the desert of Arizona (at least for a week).
i don't know what happens to me when M travels...
for the first couple days all is hunky dory.
i'm glad to miss him and have a little break-- not in a mean way-- just in a "sometimes he drives me nuts" sorta way.
but then after those first couple of days- i get all whacked out.
my independent self goes out the window.
i forget who i am.
i become all helpless and weepy.
i start going in stores like BevMo thinking they're BigLots and i can't sleep at night..and when i do, i start having terrible nightmares of him having affairs with really hot, tall, blonde, sexy women somewhere in some Casino in Arizona (do they even have Casinos in Arizona? regardless- it's a dream). but then, i wake up, and i'm all mad at him. as if he really did something.
and then i start listening to sad, sappy love songs that make me feel all lonely and even more helpless.
so i put on movies like Pride & Prejudice to imagine my M as Mr. Darcy.

oh gosh, i'm that pathetic girl.
the one i always scoffed at. made fun of. swore i'd never in a million years be.
that's me.
sigh.

but now he's back.
and i'm back.
and i am swearing to myself that i won't be that ridiculously irrational next time he leaves.
which is on Monday.
holy cow--the thought of him leaving is already stressing me out again.
how do you wives do it who have hubby's that travel all the time? don't you hate it? i do. but i'm sure you got that from this strange rant of a post.

and so, the point of it all: i'm so thankful for Thanksgiving this week (how cliche!). i consider holidays little gifts nowadays- ones that i look forward to opening for weeks in advance to recharge my emotional batteries. i hope you can recharge yours, too.

happy thanksgiving week to you!
xoxo

7 comments:

erin 'n phil said...

girl I know how you feel. My hubs travels a lot and I always have the same feelings. First day or two, great. I'm alone, I can do what I want. Get some alone time. And then the walls start closing in. Hahaha. The mind starts to wander.

So no, you're not pathetic. Happens to a lot of gals. I too, swore I'd never be that girl. :)

Megs said...

I don't know how I've dealt so well with Tim traveling so much. But I will admit that it used to be easier BEFORE I had a baby. I find that I NEED that adult conversation after she sleeps and a 30 minute phone call doesn't cut it.

That's funny that you mentioned Pride & Prejudice because that's what I did last time he went out of town. So pathetic. :)

Becca said...

Whenever Travis leaves I can't sleep at night. No joke I have to leave my lamp on & the closet light on because I feel like people are going to get me. ha. So I'm in St. George for thanksgiving. Wish you were here! Bry is sleeping in "ellie's closet." ha.

Have a happy thanksgiving! Love ya

Sean said...

It's a good thing to miss him and to know that things work best when he is home.
It's a good thing that you will be here in during his next trip.
I can't wait!
Love,
MOM

Sean said...

hahahaha. I don't know why I am under Sean's thing! hahaha. Like he would ever say that! hahahaha It looks hilarious!

Sean said...

cianc

Shaylynn said...

I just adore you... you make me laugh so often!