three months: then and now.

behold, the truth about Ellie:

it's amazing how much changes in three months. three months ago, i felt huge and uncomfortable...i felt anxious and excited...i felt ready, yet not ready for what would come.

{41 Weeks Pregnant}

then Ellie came to us. the first week, i was excited and hopeful, and of course exhausted. Ellie was a little miracle. i was constantly in awe that this little person really was ours.

{Ellie at 1 day old}

then, Ellie wouldn't sleep. she was never one of those babies that would just get wiped out and fall asleep wherever they were. she started getting "fussy." she cried a lot. in fact, she cried way more than i had expected a little infant to cry. there were many sleepless nights. nursing took FOREVER. she was very, very alert...and seemed frustrated by her inability to move around in this little body. for weeks, i was in denial that Ellie was colicky. i felt like colic somehow reflected something negative on me as a mom. i felt like i should be able to console my baby. i tried to remain calm and patient- but it was very difficult sometimes...i cried a lot. she didn't even like it when i held her- she wanted to be put down. i longed for cuddling and snuggling my baby.

{Ellie on the Fourth of July- almost 4 weeks old}

we tried everything to help Ellie get over her fussiness. we tried formula instead of nursing. didn't help at all. i put her on a strict schedule- of which we never deviated from. it helped a little. i read a book called the happiest baby on the block (thanks jen) which helped a lot. we became faithful swaddlers, swingers (acutally BOUNCERS would more accurately describe it), stomach-holders, shhhh-ers, and offerers of sucking (nursing, binkies, etc). bouncing helped a lot...but she became addicted. everyone who was associated with Ellie in the previous months knows that she could only be consoled by a tight swaddle, a bink and bouncing. it was crazy. needless to say, i was exhausted all the time.

{Ellie swaddled, with binky- seconds after rigorous bouncing}

that was the old Ellie.

let me tell you about three month Ellie:
it's like a switch has gone off! she is sooo happy!
she smiles like crazy
she loves to be held (i type this with tears welling up in my eyes!)
she loves sucking on her fingers (instead of her bink). this has helped tremendously with self-soothing
she can finally fall asleep WITHOUT bouncing [insert huge HOORAY here!]
she loves to sit and watch baby einstein
she loves the baby bjorn- and will hang out there while i do anything from cooking to blowdrying my hair
she loves making giant spit-bubbles
she rolls over
she is scooting
she loves the "big girl" bath
she talks like crazy (cooing, etc)
she gets more adorable with each and every day.

{Ellie's adorable smile on her blessing day}

{Ellie letting me snuggle and hold her!}

don't get me wrong; i was in love with colicky Ellie. she has always had my heart. i was just often exasperated. i couldn't figure out what to do sometimes. it is my belief that three month Ellie has entered our lives as a gift for sticking it out patiently with colicky Ellie. there are still tricky moments- but overall, life has 180'd. i'm proud to say we have conquered the colic. to all you new mommies out there (or mommies to be)- hang in there! you can do it! it gets better and better each and every day.

and to my Ellie:
i'm so happy you came into our lives three months ago! you have been a little monster sometimes, but you are the cutest little monster on the planet. thank you for being my new little best friend. i love you!