Sunday, September 7, 2008

99% of what i do...

how do my days fill themselves these days, you may ask?

well...let's just say i feel like i could be a lactation specialist. 99% of what i do these days has to do with the whole NURSING thing: i'm feeding ellie, i'm changing nursing pads, i'm pumping, i'm feeding again, i'm pumping again, i'm leaking. seriously. i had no idea this would be such an involved process.

which is where this book comes in:

my mom gave it to me this summer- and really, i think i would have found it pretty grotesque before i embarked on this adventure...but now i find it absolutely hilarious. from now on, i think i'll slip in an occasional exerpt from this little treasure. today's pick:

page 2:

"top ten things your boobs would say if they could talk:

1. since when are we open twenty four hours?
2. get the soothing gel. get it now.
3. sir, this is a "babies only" zone.
4. kid, how can you NOT SEE our nipples when they're the size of paper plates?
5. woo hoo! we're spraying across the room!
6. wow, we look spectacular!
7. wait, now we look like old gym socks.
8. hmmm, do we hear a baby crying somewh...and there's the milk.
9. hey, we don't get paid enough to work this hard.
10. oh great. a tooth."

to all you nursing mommies out there... i know you can relate.



melissa said...

oh man-TOO funny! I TOTALLY relate! I could've fed an army of babies the way I made milk! keep it up!

Joe, Amber and Ken Bowden said...

Haha...I love it! It's all so true.

Megs said...

AWESOME...I can't wait. :( One thing (of many) I'm worried about when baby comes - Nursing! Ah! But your post is hilarious, and with many more to come, maybe I'll find some humor in the experience instead of terror. :)

Anonymous said...

hahahahahaha, that is soooo funny! I need this book!

Torrie and Emma said...

that is clever, i definitely agree with the "not being paid enough to work this hard" but I would like to extend that to the whole body feeling that way during pregnancy!

bartonbeat said...

oh how i wish that i would've had that book a year ago. thanks so much for all your comments on our website... i'm so glad the comments are working again! ellie is too cute, she is getting so big! i want, i need to hear about everything that is going on with you. i will be calling soon.

Amy said...

that's hilarious! Where did your mom find this?! I've got to get it for Tiff!

Thanks for the sweet birthday comment, love your guts friend!

Jons and Celeste Leigh said...

Oh my goodness, I can't yet relate to that but wow thats just hilarious. You're so funny.

ClaysJenna said...

That's great! I will soon be able to relate (if all goes as planned of course!) The book sounds seriously hilarious though, I might need to find myself that book:)

Erika said...

Oh my gosh! I loved that post! I'll have to find that book. My brother-in-law made fun of me when I nursed, that I could feed the nations. :-) I was a pumping machine too, since I worked. Good luck with it all. Whoever said it was easy and convenient was telling a huge lie!

The Lishes' said...

Definitely cannot relate AT ALL, but that is the funniest thing I've ever read! Someday.

I dropped the class I had with Mike bc the professor is scary. I'm bummed.