well, it's official! an induction date is set.
Monday is the day!
Monday March 11, i'll be induced, if Max doesn't come on his own before then. i'll be 37 weeks. it's truly a miracle to have made it this far! my doctors are always shocked to see me at another appointment. in fact, one doc said to me yesterday, "i just have to admit, i was not expecting to still be seeing you here! what the heck!?" amen, brotha. but even though i'm soooooo uncomfortable, and soooooo achy-pained, and soooooo over-boiling with fluid, i really really really hope he makes it till Monday so that i can be induced. the idea of having Max in a very controlled, very calculated/planned/during-the-day environment sounds so appealing to me, especially with all of his special needs. not to mention, it'd be better for him.
you see, he isn't growing very well. in my recent appointments, he is measuring in the less than 10th percentile...which isn't good for all the potential surgeries he will likely need when he is born. still, my fluid levels are through the roof, causing all the techs to come in throughout my appointments and say, "how high is she today?" "have we passed 50 cm's yet?", "isn't that the highest we've seen? you poor thing....."(the highest i've measured is 50 cm's of fluid.... and just to give you an idea: the normal range is somewhere between 5-15 cm of fluid at this stage of pregnancy....high fluid is anything above 24 cm. so i'm measuring like four times the average amount, and twice the "that's too high" mark. yeah, i'm basically an over-inflated water bed....ready to pop). normally they'd induce me right now because of all of this fluid -- because there are other risks with the potential force of my water breaking on its own....and yet, Max needs to grow -- so it's a catch - 22. regardless of all of that info, somehow, my cervix is hardly dilating, my water obviously hasn't broken, and my belly just magically continues to expand. it's incredible, really. a miracle, in my mind. and truth-be-told, i don't mind being the fluid freak. it's kind of cool to be remembered, i guess. not that anyone could forget this big ole belly anyway.
sidenote, why do people lose all filters when talking to pregnant women? like all of a sudden, it's just ok to say whatever comes to your head to them? case in point: this random guy in Costco came up to me last week and said, "oh man honey, you look like a balloon ready to pop right this minute!" and i kind of pity-laughed and said, "yeah, i'm pretty big. luckily at the end of this thing!" and he said, "you'd better hope you're at the end of this thing..." and disgustedly added, "whoa."
like really. in what universe would that ever be appropriate to say to somebody?? did he think i'd feel good after that conversation? don't get me wrong, i was totally fine. in fact, i can totally laugh about it because the fact is, it's true. even my dr. said to me this week when he went to measure my tummy (which is measuring past full-term, even though i'm technically 36 weeks), "whoa, this belly is really starting to freak me out." yeah, tell me something i don't know! i have to look at it every day, and carry it around 24/7! good thing i adore my OB, and that he can't do any wrong in my eyes. because i'm pretty sure if M said that to me, i woulda punched him in the face. (now, that's not really fair, is it?)
wow. i'm rambling.
in spite of my hugeness, there've been lots of little happies that have lifted my spirits this week and last that i want to be able to remember and treasure from this unique moment in my life/our lives:
:: the most beautiful quilt you ever saw.
isn't that amazing!? beautiful!? incredible!? a wonderful friend of mine came and brought this to me this week, and it hasn't left my side. she, with the help of some of my sweetest friends, got together and hand stitched this beautiful quilt for me. here's a little snapshot one of my friends sent me of some of them working on it (makes me tear up to see this photo):
along the edges some of my favorite quotes are embroidered, as well as a large embroidered quote in the middle. it's hard to photograph -- but these are the quotes:
It's better to look up
Pray more, worry less
live your life on purpose
Strength will find you sooner than you ever thought it would
Breathe it all in, LOVE it all out,
dear self, today you will shine
Keep trying, be believing, be happy. don't get discouraged. Things will work out. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Turn your face toward the sun, and the shadows fall behind you
and in the middle:
Do not fear for I am with you
it is one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me -- and i truly feel arms wrapped around me when i snuggle under it. how do you even begin to thank people for things like this? again, i'm so humbled and overwhelmed by the love and kindness and goodness that has been so generously poured over me and my family these last few months. it has meant more than i could ever express with words.
:: my girls love each other, and it makes me so happy. i think siblings are one of the greatest gifts we can give our children -- and especially in this moment, when i just can't do much, i'm so grateful they have each other to giggle together, to pester each other, to run around in circles together, to dance, and to hug one another.
:: little people hula-hooping is pretty awesome / hilarious!
:: conversations with four-year-olds are pretty awesome, too.
leading up to buying some new hula-hoops for the girls last week, i had a pretty hilarious conversation with Ellie. randomly one afternoon, she came to my side and begged me, "mama, pleeeeeease, can we go buy some hula hoops? pretty pretty pleeeeeease??"
it was random and so sweet, but i explained, "Ellie, hula hoops are so fun, but we can't just go buy something just because we want it."
she asked, "but why mama?"
i told her, "because, i don't have endless amounts of money! just because i want something doesn't mean i have money to buy it."
confidently she replied, "daddy can! daddy has loads of money!"
i was dying. "how do you know he has loads of money?"
and she emphatically put her hands on her hips and said, "Because! He goes to work EVERYDAY!!!"
oh man. kids these days.
:: these adorable sunnies -- i had gotten some for Christmas that malfunctioned, so i just went last week and exchanged them for these ones. how i love them...and the little hint of neon!
:: Alice in sunnies -- (sippin on my diet coke...oh, McD $1 diet cokes, how i love thee) i mean, how can i talk about sunnies and not talk about Alice these days? in fact, she wore some sunnies to church on Sunday...and woudln't take them off in Sacrament meeting. i would ask her to take them off, she'd obey, and 3 seconds later, i'd look down and she'd have them on again. yes, she wears the pants in this relationship (please tell me most two-year-olds do...). but some battles are just too hard to fight, you know?
:: little ballerina buns + tutu bums. i just can't get enough. i can't! Ellie and Alice LOVE having ballet together- i've never seen Alice light up so much about something, and that makes me so happy. they are just the girliest, most graceful little things when they have their ballet outfits on....and it never ceases to melt me into a big pile-o-goo.
:: these darling bow earrings, gifted to me by some friends on a much-needed-girls' night out (i wear them every day! the most cherished earrings i own) to get some of my favorite pregnancy craving: thai food. mmm, have you ever had mangoes-red-curry? AH. heaven, people! in fact, i think i may have to go get some again this week.... it's just that good.
:: this funny lil bum.
:: lil dates with my lil loves. Ellie had a couple of birthday parties last weekend -- and so i took Alice out for a little one-on-one date. we got frozen yogurt, got her nails painted, and picked her out a new nightgown (oh, and took lots of pictures, of course! i'm a freak! i admit it!). she was in heaven! and so was i. one-on-one time with each kid is so precious, isn't it?
:: little girls in denim jackets, and dinner dates with friends. featuring our favorite baby girl in the world, Vivian. oh, and husbands who just get each other.
{image via lds.org}
:: this adorable lil face, that i'll get to see in person in less than a week! it's surreal, to say the least, but makes me so so happy, too.
lots of happies. lots and lots and lots to be grateful for.
it all makes me think of/sing:
"count your many blessings; angels will attend, help and comfort give you to your journey's end."
thank you for being my angels! big hugs and love your way today and always.
xoxo
