xoxo, the chapmans

ellie ellie on my mind.

2012-01-26T17:04:00.000-08:00

from the words of her mouth just seconds ago, "i'm free and a half now, Mama. i'm a big girl. but free and a half means i'm still free. i'll be four next though and then i can have a birthday party."

yes, she is a big girl- and is changing so much and so fast. some things about Ellie:

she finds joy in the littlest things- mostly because she has happiness and silliness oozing out of her bones.

she has the cutest imagination ever. the last couple of days, she has been walking around with Pascal on her shoulder, and i have too. sometimes he jumps down her back and tickles her and she squeals. and sometimes my Pascal jumps in my pocket and hides. i love her little mind.

she is smart as a whip- she doesn't forget a thing, and has been that way since she came out of the womb.

along with that, she loves books. she came this way- looking at books when she was the littlest little squish- but now will sit down for most of her quiet time carefully looking through books and books and books. recently she has become so fascinated with the Book of Mormon- which is so neat to me. i can see how these little spirits come so eager to learn and willing to accept the gospel, and why it is so important to teach them in the home from a young age. it strengthens my testimony a lot to see her so excited about these stories.

she never ever ever stops talking. she is a narrator and an explainer and a tele-broadcaster, and a meteorologist, and a music analyst- you name it, she has something to say about it. i love seeing things the way she does, though sometimes my ears are ready for a little rest. still, i love that little voice + brain combo.

she loves her new pediatrician and actually talks about her all the time. what kid loves the doctor? yeah, she's a weirdo. i think part of it is that she loves dressing up in the hospital gown. again, what a weirdo.

she is a total wuss. seriously. scenes from Sesame Street + Mickey Mouse freak her out, causing her to run out of the room and cover her ears. really? and she will NOT try adventurous rides at theme parks- basically all the fun ones. why is she such a wuss? drives me cuhhh-razzyy.

she dances and sings through life. i don't know if she'll really pursue dancing and singing, but she loves both things and i love that she loves them. when i ask her what her favorite part of school is or church, she always talks about a song they learned or the time that they got to dance. i feel like she puts her heart and soul into singing every song she sings, and i just love that kind of passion.

she loves to be dressed up. this has been our life for the last 2 years pretty much- and i don't see it changing any time soon. like it that way...though life will be a whole lot easier when she can really put the dresses on without needing my help right that very minute ...

if you want to be on Ellie's "favorites" list, you will bribe her with lollipops and pizza. this girl looovvvves pizza and lollipops. what kid doesn't?

she has cute little friends and people in her life of whom she talks about often. she dreams about them, and pretends to call them, and loves going out on the town to do stuff with them. i love cute little people together.

she's such a daddy's girl- and literally squeals most days when daddy walks in the door from work. i can't blame her- he's pretty awesome.

she is a busy worker bee. she seriously wants to help me do whatever i am doing all day. she wants to put away clothes and clean the counters and scrub the toilet. she still struggles doing anything by herself- so we do a lot of side-by-side picking up and cleaning, but i still think it's pretty amazing. and ... i know it won't last, so i'm soaking it up while i can.

she is compassionate. if Alice falls, she's the first to ask why she's crying and where she needs a kiss. if i'm talking on the phone to someone who is sick, the first thing she asks me when i get off is, who is sick mama? and are we going to bring them cookies to make them happy? i love her big heart.

along with that, she loves her little sister Alice. she is such a protector of her. sure, Alice's crying/screaming drives her nuts sometimes- and she gets frustrated when Alice sneaks a carrot away from her plate- but we've turned a major corner of them actually playing together and loving each other- and i constantly think how lucky i am to have them, and how lucky they will always be to have each other.

she is so funny. she makes me laugh. like when she makes up words or names. or when she gives me weird reasons for not eating something. or when she comes out of her room from quiet time dressed up in my heels and shorts and wants me to take a picture with a silly kissy face. funny kid, i tell you what.

she is emotional. we are working on channeling these emotions in the right direction because sometimes they spiral out of control into huge volcanic eruptions and it's not pretty. i try not to get embarrassed when she's having these melt-downs, and i think i'm getting better at handling them. but sometimes i don't handle them well and say things like "you're driving me nuts," to which she'll reply later, "you made me so sad when you said i drive you nuts." such a sweet, emotional little thing. i am always worried i am going to crush this vivacious spirit- but i'm doing my very best, and so i know it will all work out in the end.

and sometimes i look at her in the morning and i jump, knowing that she grew the night before. i get this panic feeling deep down that it's going by too fast. the other day we were in the car and the Taylor Swift song "Never Grow Up" came on. such a cute song, huh? it always makes me cry. after listening to a few lyrics to the song, i said,
"Ellie, i like you the way you are. will you listen to this song and Never Grow Up? please?"
Ellie took me very seriously and replied, "But Mama, i want to grow up! i need to grow up!"
and so i said, "ok Ellie. i guess you can grow up. but will you promise me something?"
Ellie: "yaa...."
Mama: "will you let me always be your Mama and you can always be my Ellie?"
Ellie: "yes Mama. you'll always be my Mama because i love you."

and then the panic went away. and i felt ok. because i know i'll always be her Mama, and she'll always be my Ellie...she's my little buddy forever and for always. and knowing that does a Mama's heart good.

xoxo

sometimes my hubby drives me nuts.

2012-01-24T22:16:00.000-08:00

it's true- he does. like can you please just put our coat away instead of draping it on the couch? and why is that candy wrapper from the candy you just ate on the floor instead of the trash? and how hard is it to put those balled up dirty socks that are on the floor, 2 inches away from the hamper, inside of the hamper? and can you just look up at me while i was telling you that useless information about Ellie's most recent BM and give me a reaction instead of looking at me with that glassed-over look, and then repeating the last three words of my previous sentence to pretend like you were listening?

men.

but then this weekend we went on a date. he had a scout training (ha!) on Saturday morning and i got a text when he should have been listening to proclamations of boy scout pride saying "we're dropping the girls off at G&G's at 5. we're going out."

can i just say i love that? i love when he plans something without me heckling him to do so. i love that i didn't have to scramble and find a babysitter because he already did it (love that G&G love the girls and that the girls love them). i love that i got to put on lipstick and get a purse ready (instead of a diaper-bag full of sticky stuff).

so we dropped the chillens off, went out, and just remembered how much we love each other. and that sometimes being a parent stresses us out. and sometimes the messes make me nuts. but that we chose each other- and we did that because we make each other laugh, we like to check each other out, and we love to be together. we need to remember that love stuff more often, because it does a heart good.

in short: make your man plan a date, put on your sexy boots + some lipstick, ditch the kids, and go out...and you'll forget that your hubby drives you nuts sometimes.

lucky me to have this man to call mine.

xoxo

did you hear...

2012-01-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

that Emily Maynard is going to be the next bachelorette? and that Bentley wants to be on that season? and that i still watch this crap??

did you hear that Ellie sings Book of Mormon Stories, and in her rendition, the Lamanite's Fathers are given their own lair?

did you hear that i am considering growing out my bangs? and that i am really torn about it because i love them but am sick of the upkeep? but did you also hear that i am going to Mexico in May and that if i have bangs while there i will look like a distressed poodle? did you hear that pathetic things like hair keep me up at night and that i desperately need your approval on hair decisions?

did you hear that American Idol started again tonight? and that i got goose-bumpy-chills all over my legs and arms when it started?

did you hear that Ellie has asked me at least 10 times today to clean the toilet so that she can have a quarter to put in her Disneyland jar?

did you hear that Alice is 15 months old now? and that she is so so so spunky and squishy and cute and a complete and utter disaster, but in a good way? and that we only have 12 Sundays left until nursery (but who's counting, right?)?

did you hear that a big pink lollipop can make a 3-yr-old's dreams come true? and make her happier than just about anything you've ever done for her?

did you hear that Hollywood is yet again remaking Les Miserables (one of my all time favorite musicals / books)- and some members of the cast include Hugh Jackman, Russell Crow, Ann Hathaway and (hold your breath) rumors of Taylor Swift?

did you hear that it is finally going to rain tomorrow after this crazy streak of gorgeous sunshine? and that i am actually kind of looking forward to cozying up with some cider, a book, and some rain?

did you hear that January is more than half over? and that i just heard hallelujah choruses as i typed that?

and did you hear that you all made me feel so loved and happy with your comments and notes on my last post? did you hear that i love sharing this journey of motherhood with each of you? and that i love motherhood, with all of it's ups, downs and sidways-nesses? well i do. very very much.

xoxo

real life.

2012-01-13T08:37:00.000-08:00

i've been wanting to do a post for a while now talking about all my new year's goals and resolutions. you know, the one where i tell you my goals about the budget, the new amped up exercise plan, the spiritual lion i'm going to become, and the new, happy, patienter-mama i will be.

well, in real life, my iphone screen shattered just days into 2012 (breaking the bank), i popped a zipper, got my butt stuck in a chair, and slept away a migraine (and ate tons of cookies) instead of exercising, i have been stressing out majorly with church responsibilities, and have had sick kiddos again, resulting in many self-pep-talks, and breathe-in, breathe-out moments. "you can do this, Marci! choose to be happy! happiness is a decision! breeaaattthhheee."

translation = in real life, i suck. me + goals = fail.

but have no fear!

i will not give up! because in real life, goals are yours and no one else's, and you can always try again tomorrow or the next day- no one cares but you- and i know in real life it always works out. and in our real life, we've made some prett-y cool changes around here in spite of our crappy karma.

change 1) the girls are now sharing a room! M and i had toyed with the idea for a few weeks before Christmas, - both of has had shared rooms with our siblings growing up and loved it. i remember nights, my brother and i would laugh ourselves to sleep, and i remember sitting on the top bunk all together listening to my mom play the guitar/sing us to sleep. we mentioned the idea to Ellie once, and she got so excited, she wanted to move into Alice's room that very moment. what's the worst that could happen, right?

so the week after Christmas, we had an influx of kid-junk oozing out of every crevice of our house. when they'd go to bed in their separate rooms, i'd do a nightly walk-through and pick up all the little teensie toys that somehow didn't make it back in their rooms, all the stray socks and strollers- and soon enough there would be two gigantic piles of shtuff beside each of their doors. the house was never picked up = i always wanted to pull my hair out! lucky for my hair, turning Ellie's room into a playroom made a space for all the kid shtuff and saved my sanity. and having the girls share a room is just the cutest thing- especially waking up to hearing little giggles coming from their room. and while we've had our moments of losing sanity at 3 am (since they've been sick and have been waking each other up with hacking coughs and crying), it's been mostly awesome. i think all sisters should get a chance to share a room.

change 2) i decided to start being more intentional in having Ellie help me around the house- instead of her just being a sometimes helper (even when it's wayyy easier/more efficient to just do things myself). she's been helping me put away laundry, put the dishwasher away, pick up her playroom after quiet time, and even doing dishes. it's been awe-some!, and i don't know why i haven't started it sooner.

change 3) a few weeks ago, M and i had a conversation that changed my life. i had been bubbling over like a pot of spaghetti sauce 11/10ths too full, full of emotions and feelings insecurity and anxiety about being a mom. some were totally unwarranted, but some weren't. the down-to-earth truth was this: i wasn't feeling happy and fulfilled at home. and i was having a hard time keeping it cool when both girls would simultaneously melt-down...for the fifth time...that morning, and not reacting angrily. and then amidst the meltdowns, still getting all the other stuff done that needed to get done (Christmas gifts, cards out, shopping done, house clean, dinner done, etc etc etc). being mom is one big multi-tasking-juggling-balancing act, isn't it? and honestly, i felt like i was constantly dropping the ball. the girls were constantly unhappy. i was constantly short and snippy. and M was walking on egg shells...scared to ask the dreaded question: "how was your day?" (because a look of horror and scary eyes would be shot in his direction). i'm sad to admit that this home-dynamic had been going on for several weeks (hence the 11/10ths full pot).

on the day of me and M's conversation, i had had a breaking point. i was trying to get the girls out the door for an appointment, and Ellie would not cooperate. she wouldn't put her shoes on (after asking her a billion times), and refused to come in the car. there Alice was in the car, screaming her guts out as i stood in the doorway trying to reason with this unreasonable child. at the last refusal, i hit my limit and demanded forcefully (yelled loudly) for her to get in the car. i confess, it wasn't the first time i had ever done that. of course she fell to the floor (Ellie is a mini-me: hyper sensitive and emotional) and sobbed even harder. steam burst out of my head, i picked her up, buckled her in her seat, and we were off. minutes went by, and the crying finally stopped (hallelujah!, i thought to myself). and then i heard a faint little voice from the back of the car say,

"Mama?"

"What Ellie?"

"Do you like me?"

::pain and hot tears stream down my face right now remembering this::

i immediately pulled the car over. i felt so ashamed that she had to ask me that. i turned around, looked at her, and told her that i not only liked her, but that i loved her so much it hurt sometimes.

and so i told M about it all. it sucked because i was embarrassed- he never loses his cool, and yet i do. why did that happen? i wasn't the mom i always dreamed i would be- and i wanted to change. i never ever wanted my kids to ask me if i liked them again.

he then told me something that i'll remember forever. he said, "what helps me with Ellie is to imagine what it would be like to be her- a three year old little girl. i just try and put myself in her shoes and it helps me a lot."

and so i've done that- (and increased my prayers on the subject x 100, and just flipped my negative switch to the "off" position). i think it's all helped- but i sincerely believe the difference maker has been that i've sincerely tried to put myself in Ellie's shoes. i'm still not perfectly patient- but i've been trying to look through life through a three-year-old's eyes, and it has helped me understand why it's hard to leave when you're having fun, why you'd rather wear a fluffy pink dress instead of pants, why you may cry inconsollably over and over again when you're feeling sick (or not feeling sick), and why you get upset when your little sister snatches your favorite baby... and doing that has given me the extra umph to be able to reason, play, and give a little extra love and encouragement without losing my cool. sure, it's not the first time i've ever had a parenting epiphany (just look under my label "being a mom," and i'm sure you'll find dozens of somewhat similar "i don't know what i'm doing" "why am i always made" posts), and i sure as heck hope it won't be the last. but for now it's made a huge difference in our home, and the the truth is: that advice changed me. and because of that, i know 2012 is going to be a great year.

side note: i'm so grateful for my hubby who doesn't judge me, but lovingly teaches me so much. i understand more and more how important it is to be a team in marriage and parenthood- and that you really need each other. i am blessed, i tell you. blessed.

a few extra pictures of my people and what we've been up to this new year:

xoxo

dear 2011,

2012-01-07T16:14:00.000-08:00

well, you're gone. and have been gone for 7 whole days. you went real fast, too, didn't you? what was with that? and your sister, 2012, came with a bang, introducing herself with a very embarrassing moment of involuntary undressing. yeah,i wasn't exactly thrilled to welcome her in my life. plus, you were mostly good to me and my little family. a lot happened between us though, didn't it? you were a busy dude. just wanted to thank you for all the good times and even the crummy ones. because like i mentioned, you were mostly nice, and when you weren't i realize now that it was good for me- that you were just trying to help me learn and grow.

we started out together with a newborn, a 2 year old in diapers, and another busy season. i was ready to pull my hair out most days- but we pulled through, all living, breathing, and smiling- miracle, i tell you. we quickly became the circus- and have called ourselves that ever since. life with kids in our house is just that, one big juggling-act-tight-rope-walking circus. and we love it.

we survived busy season with watching tv (love me some bachelor, modern family, parenthood, project runway, american idol, and newest: new girl... whoa, that list is getting lonnnnnngg). we also survived with awesome friends, running lots, going to the park, and visiting my family down South- remember my crazy trip i took with the girls by myself? well, that's what you do when you're in survival mode, i guess. my favorite part of that trip was seeing Ellie ride a pony for the first time. i don't think i ever blogged about it- but she was so brave, so proud of herself for being so brave, and so cute holding her cowgirl hat the entire time.

and of course, we also enjoyed the beach, Disneyland, and spending time with gammy, pops, Mimi, and with grandma and grandpa grapes. it was an emotional time for all of us- but a wonderful trip- and special to spend so much time together. there's just no place like home, right?

after living through busy season, and a few more weeks of crazy traveling and work schedules, you stood with M has he put in his two weeks and said goodbye to the Man (Deloitte). it was a bittersweet time, saying goodbye to colleagues, friends, and a steady paycheck twice a month + awesome health coverage. but it was mostly awesome as you were with M to fulfill his lifelong dream of being an entrepreneur AND being in business with his parents. sure, it's been a roller-coaster. but together we've enjoyed the up and downs- and mostly enjoyed a normal family life again. how we love having M around. and love knowing we'll never have to survive busy season again (whoa, what a thought). thanks, 2011, for giving me my hubby back.

and once M was back, he became the girls' favorite. i've had to come to terms with that- but i'm ok now. 2011, you turned my girls into daddy's girls. will they ever love me like they love him?

shortly after M's job change, we said goodbye to my grandpa who passed away. it was a sad time for my family- though happy to reunite with so many distant relatives we had been out of touch with for so long. it also made me grateful for the peace and hope the gospel brings.

and only five months later, you were with us to say goodbye to my grandma, too. i'm grateful for their inspiring love-story- but miss them both. i miss their house. i miss their laughs. and i especially missed them on my birthday when they weren't there to sing like they had the previous 25 years. you helped me realize that life is fragile. to hold on tight and enjoy the chaos of my young family and my parents/siblings, because we won't be around each other always- and to love those around me a little more.

and so we got to spend lots and lots of time with family, thanks to you. from trips to visit to my family, trips from our families visiting us, and lots of outings with M's family, we were overwhelmed with love and appreciation for such awesome people to call ours. i'm determined to build a big communal village someday.

we discovered the deliciousness of King's Donuts. thanks a lot, 2011.

we shortly after discovered the effectiveness of P90x. sure, we gave up once or twice. but we also saw it through-- and you were with me and M every morning, slapping us in the face, telling us to get our donut butts out of bed-- until we could do our own pull-ups and felt super fit and sexy. thanks for helping us discover p90x, 2011.

you gave me my first gray hair. jerk.

we had a summer full of swimming, splashing and playing. it was a blast, and i died every time i saw the girls in their adorable swim suits. we miss your summertime, 2011.

we endured a terribly ghetto front yard for much too long- but then you helped us get our acts together and refinish it. i think this was my favorite house project we did together- thanks for helping me love my house again.

we started our joy school together with three boys + Ellie and ended with three other little girls + Ellie. you made me fall in love with the joy school curriculum, especially watching Ellie learn and grow while making such good little friends in the process. joy school is awesome.

we made new friends and kept old ones and missed ones that are far away. we started hanging out with friends more and even having girls nights. i needed that girl time. a lot.

and then one of them moved away- her little boy was one of Ellie's best friends, and she was one of mine so it was super sad. you helped me remember that saying goodbyes doesn't really get easier as you get older, but that finding true friends is worth the heartache.

we were 1st time season pass holders to Disneyland with you. it was awesome- though i think people got a teensie overwhelmed and annoyed with my Disneyland Blog Posts (here, here, here.) i don't regret it though- because i am a disney freak (whew, i said it. feeling very liberated right now).

remember how fun it was serving the young women in our church? i especially loved our crazy sleep-over party and excursion into San Francisco. i love those girls and the women i served with.

you were there when i was shocked and saddened to be released- and you were there when i was overwhelmed with love as they heart-attacked my house and car, saying good-bye. you were also there when i closed that door and cried my eyes out. life is funny, isn't it?

you gave me a new calling, 2011- one that i have been entirely overwhelmed by, and felt incapable to fulfill. i still think my bishop is crazy (and Heavenly Father too) but i know they know what they're doing and so i just have to remind myself to have faith. but faith seems to come harder the older i get, even though i definitely don't feel old enough to be having callings like this. still, i love the Primary children, i love the women in my presidency, and i love the Lord- and so like President Hinckley would say, i know it will all work out. it always does, especially when you're doing His work.

we ran over 500 miles together this year- and i even got my body back (kind of) in the process. sure it has dents, stretches, and tears- but i'm going to view those like Mater from Cars does- like they're a treasure (even though sometimes i cry about them, too). back to the running: you were with me to share many morning runs with my dad when i went to visit- and you were there as i made some amazing friends running several times a week, something that i look forward to instead of dread (who looks forward to exercise?). also you were there to see me accomplish a life-long goal of running a half-marathon. it felt amazing...

and you even helped me have one of the funnest weekends of my adult life running the Napa Valley Ragnar. (side note: can you call yourself an adult when you still like Disneyland as much as i do, eat pb+j's every day for lunch, and bust out in random dance parties multiple times a day, and even through a race's finish line?) you will always be the year that i truly learned to love to run.

we discovered Pinterest. and then didn't see the light of day for weeks. you've watched me be inspired and addicted and captivated and zombie'd out like never before. bless/blast that pinterest.

you gave both my parents their 50th birthdays. they're old. does that mean i'm old too? but they look goooood, and i'm hoping that part is in my genes too. you helped me remember that i have the most awesome parents who have become some of my most awesome friends.

you were there to survive the worst part of parenting yet: potty training. it sucked. and i'm already dreading the day that i have to do it with Alice. but you saw us through it and i thank you for that.

we discovered the world again through Alice's eyes- and Ellie's, too. we watched Alice change from the sweetest little piggie baby on the planet, into a feisty, funny, happy, busy toddler. you were with me as i kissed her squishy cheeks over and over, and almost ate her dozens of times because her chubbiness was so delicious. i was sad that you took her baby-ness from me, but am happy that you gave me such a fun, beautiful, sweet, and verrrry curious personality in return.

we discovered Ellie's iron will and determination.

we learned that she does what she wants when she wants to. you've watched me be baffled- and come to the realization multiple times that i'm basically parenting myself. still, you helped me realize how sweet she is, seeing her need love and attention and affection, and giving love, attention and affection liberally to those around her. she is compassionate, and i love that about her. i've loved seeing her become the person she will always be- with her funny phrases, her beautiful dancing, love for music, books, and art. 3 has been a tough transition, losing my baby/toddler to this new strong preschooler, but at the end of each day when she says her prayers and tells me she loves me, i know i'm the luckiest mama in the world.

and so i thank Heavenly Father every day for blessing me with these two little girls who give my life so much purpose and joy. i've never worried so much, laughed so hard, been so frustrated, or felt so much happiness as i have with you, 2011, while being their mama. having two is definitely sweeter than having one. who knew?

the mr. and i celebrated 6 years of marital bliss with you (marital bliss = teasing/annoying the crap out of each other sometimes + making each other laugh...hard). 6 years sounds like a long time- we're getting pretty good at this marriage thing, which is good because we really love each other.

we went on some memorable dates, M and me. we latin danced for the first time. which was hilarious, ghetto, and fun.

we also ate lots of sushi together. and realized that's me and M's favorite special treat. does that make us trendy? anyway, i'm kind of mad that you had me discover how much i like that stuff because it's dang expensive. but then i'm way glad because it's just too delicious and wonderful to not know about. dang sushi.

and you helped me learn how to use Holga- which is super awesome. i've loved capturing life through a new lens and using film. i think it's become one of my favorite possessions.

we also blogged the most together than i had with any other previous year- at a whopping 135 posts (which beat my current record from 2009's at 134 posts...weird, right?). i don't know what to make of that- if it's a good thing or a bad thing- but i mostly think it just means that you were busy and i was busy and together we just had a lot to say.

we did and learned lots of other awesome stuff too- other awesome Southern Cal trips, Ellie's room re-do, almost losing a finger (and several other embarrassing moments), dressing up as Alice in Wonderland for Halloween, meeting my new niece Ruth, and enjoying every last minute of the holidays, from thanksgiving to Christmas....but this letter is getting too long to talk about it all... and you've probably stopped reading by now. so i'll wrap it up by saying this: you were quick, busy and full of new experiences, some sad and some joyful. it's hard to say goodbye- and so i'll do what a teacher of mine used to do in High School- i'll say "see ya later" instead. because i do hope to see you again- maybe in my Life's Movie someday (yes, i think in heaven we're going to be able to watch big-screen movies of our lives. it's going to be awesome). thanks for giving me so many memories and special moments with the people i love. i'll never forget you, 2011.

hug,
Marci

P.s. guess what? as if you weren't bored enough, you can also read letters to previous years! 2010, 2009, 2008, & 2007.

xoxo

new year's eve, our little sunbeam, and a super embarrassing moment.

2012-01-04T00:31:00.000-08:00

what kind of a mom does it make me that M and i didn't even tell Ellie that it was New Year's Eve?
and that we didn't even give the slightest mention that at midnight there would be a party and celebration- and that millions of children all over the world would be staying up late to bang on pots and pans and throw confetti and eat junk food and drink delicious bubbly drinks?
and that instead we put Ellie + Alice to bed early so that we could have friends over and have our own party sans children...?

well... it sounds pretty awful when i type it all out like that, but it was totally worth it because we had a totally awesome time with some of our much-younger/cooler-than-us-friends, without worrying about grumpy kids, messes only children could make, and having horrible meltdowns the next day. plus, being able to socialize without kids makes you realize that you are human- that you can talk about things other than poop and sleeping schedules, and that you like music other than Disney songs and lullabys. it was refreshing. we played celebrity, ate delicious food (think fancy cheese plate, individual 7-layer dip cups, grandma's cheesecake, and much more), made fun of Lady Gaga's freaky octopus costume, and, of course, toasted in the new year with some bubbly (aka Martinelli's). i didn't take a single picture of the decor, took only one picture of the food (my slice of cheesecake)...but redeemed myself with the awesome photobooth pictures.

the next morning we were blessed with 9 am church (sense a teense bit of sarcasm? i mean, 9 am church the morning after New Years = crap, i've got a serious case of red-eye). but mostly, i am serious that we are blessed with 9 am church this year- we've only enjoyed 9 am church like once since we've been married (because of how moves and schedulings have worked out in wards we have been in) so i've been idealizing this 9 am start for quite some time... and i was totally right- because even though it was super tough rolling out of bed, getting everyone dressed and hair-did, and throwing everyone + our 5 duffle-bag-sized-church-survival-kits into the car in a timely fashion (amidst being semi-prepared for our Sunday duties) it was as awesome as i imagined it would be come 12 o'clock. how i adore (and have missed) Sunday naps.

but now i'm rambling passed the really important junk i wanted to talk about.

1st important thing: Ellie had her first Sunday in Primary as a Sunbeam! all last week, and all day Saturday, and allllll morning before church she kept saying, "i get to go to Primary now. i'm going to be a Sunbeam. i'm not in nursery anymore because i'm a big girl. do i get to go to Primary now? is it time to go to Primary yet? i get to go to Primary, you know." yeah, she was kinda excited. it was super cute realizing that she knew Primary is a special place to be. and it is.

being in Primary to see her come in and experience her first Sunday there was one of the most special things for me to witness as a mom yet. i felt like it was a little gift to watch her expressions and see her little fingers wiggle and wave at me as i sat up front. she looked so little there with all the other big primary kids, and was so sweet listening to the songs. when we introduced those cute lil beamers, i called them to the front and she held her little fellow-sunbeam Chase's hand. it was like they were nervous but proud to be there together. i wish i could have photographed it- but it was one of those things that my mind took a photo of and i hope to remember forever. it made me realize that she is still so little, and that i am so lucky to have such a cute little human in my life.

2nd important thing (the embarrassing story): we were sitting in Sacrament meeting. (yes, another Sacrament meeting embarrassing moment to compete with this one). i was feeling a little "full." (hey, it was January 1st. i just had the best eating holiday break EVER, which = indulging shamelessly and frequently in homemade cheesecake, chocolate peppermint cookies, peppermint rice krispy treats, bread, fudge, roast, potatoes, rolls, pies, flan, caramels, truffles, and every other sweet or high-fat goodness covered and/or smothered in butter). M had to help me zip up this cute little blue dress that my grandma had sewn for me a few years back..it was a tight squeeze, but it zipped, and stayed zipped as long as i didn't breathe. i love that little blue dress so the sacrifice of not breathing is always worth it.

so there i was in sacrament meeting- the sacrament was being passed. it was dead quiet (minus my children talking loudly and occasionally yelling). i had my bags of books and treats (aka battle gear) laid in front of me, and Ellie asked me for something. i bent over to get it, and POP, scrrrrakzkzzizii, pppow. what the!?? my zipper had POPPED. as in BROKEN. as in SPLIT OPEN. this is no joke. i immediately slammed back to the pew. i sunk down real low. and starting inhaling and exhaling very quickly (i hadn't been breathing, remember?), and thoughts buzzed around my head (insert a swear word or two here), "did the dude behind me just see what happened? did he see my underwear? did he see my BRA? gasp! oh my gosh. how embarrassing. who else saw? does everybody know that i am completely undressed in SACRAMENT MEETING??" so i tried devising a plan for what i should do ::took a piece of bread:: what to do what to do what to do? ::eyes got big trying to communicate to M of my crisis:: ::folded arms for water prayer:: ::sweat dripped down neck:: ::finally got M's attention:: then the person behind me, a friend of ours (praise the heavens) leaned over to me and said, "Liz has a blanket in the car if you want it." so the dude sitting behind me had seen the embarrassing zipper-popping-incident. great. ::head hangs in shame::

i was able to slip on my diaper bag as a back-pack (bless that bag), and hold my dress together on my way out- and then i bolted home and had to use the scissors to cut myself out of the dress. no one would notice that i was wearing a red dress instead of blue one when i got back, right? all in all, it was a pretty humiliating experience- one that i just wanted to scream out kind a like this:

but who needs that kind of extra attention on themselves when they are already half-clothed because of eating too many treats?

and so i guess i should add some sort of diet to my new year's resolutions with the rest of America.
but diets aren't really my style, so maybe i should put "make a billion dollars so i can buy some new dresses" on there instead.

yes, that one seems better to me.

happy new year, everyone! my annual letter is coming soon.

p.s. to the grandma's and family peeps out there, in my previous Christmas post, i added a video of Alice and Ellie dancing to Jackson 5's Santa Claus is coming to town. Alice's dancing skills are pretty adorable if you wanna check 'em out.

xoxo

we had ourselves a merry little Christmas

2012-01-01T21:56:00.000-08:00

highlights:

::face-timing with my family to open gifts together (technology is rad)

::Grandma Grapes (great grandma) Chapman reading the Night Before Christmas at our family Christmas Eve gathering

:baking cookies for Santa

::the girls in their cute Christmas Eve Minnie Mouse Jammies (Ellie's first pair of slippers)

::staying up till 3 am assembling gifts and presents (Santa's got a tough job)

::seeing the girls wait excitedly on the stairwell to come down and see if Santa really came

::seeing silly George-Albert one last time, using Ellie's Christmas Present from Santa
side note: Ellie had a respectable fear of Georgie. i guess that's what happens when a little guy raids your underwear drawer and paints your nose red.

{"hey Georgie! that's my bike, not yours!"}

::seeing pure joy on the faces that Santa had, indeed, come (Ellie saying, "i was a good girl, Mama! i was a good girl! Santa came!")

::watching Ellie rip through her presents as if there was a fire (and loving every single one) (while wearing her helmet the whole time...classic)

::seeing Alice sit in boxes and eat fruit snacks from her stocking instead of opening presents and playing with toys (quirky kid)

side note: have i mentioned my girls are polar opposites?

::just sitting back and enjoying the surprises and joy of the kids- and not taking nearly enough pictures to prove how awesome it was

::being spoiled - especially lovin' my new sunglasses.

::especially the inside detailing

::the remote-control helicopters for all the boys- who knew grown men still loved toys this much?

::our delicious waffle breakfast
::the girls all dolled up in the most gorgeous Christmas dresses, hand stitched and sewn by Grandma Lynne (seriously amazing)
warning: too many pictures below. but cut me some slack. that's what you do when your girls are wearing adorable fancy dresses.

side note: she pulled an all nighter from Christmas Eve-Christmas Morning so they could wear these on Christmas Sunday. talk about incredible...the smocking and detailing is exquisite!

::attending Church on Christmas Sunday- such a treat

::Christmas dinner, british style- complete with yorkshire pudding and christmas crackers and crowns. so fun.

::staying over-night a few nights at Grandma + Grandpa's house- the girls were in heaven, and we loved our little family camp-out every night
side note: why is it so funny to wake up to a one-year old standing at her crib and staring at you?

::testing out scooters and bikes and cars for hours and hours and hours, and other toys too

::lots of laughs and movies and cuddles

::seeing the lights at the Oakland temple

::spending time with friends from out of town- we miss you, our friends!, and loooved hanging out (aren't Ellie + Wyatt so cute?)

::lots of baking and treats and eating out lots and lots

{bread + oil appetizer is my ultimate fave and i usually get full on it before my real meal comes}

::having dance parties together (i love how my girls love music- and how Alice loves to dance. oh gosh it kills me it's so cute)

::just having tons and tons of quality time together as a family.

Christmas always goes by so fast, doesn't it? all this prep for a 24-hr day. but it's so worth it and we're loving all of our new toys, spoils, and the love we've felt spending time with loved ones, each other, and thinking of our Savior. thanks for everyone who made it special. Christmas is the best. only 359 days till Christmas 2012!

xoxo

thoughts on baking + Merry Christmas

2011-12-23T08:56:00.000-08:00

last night as i busily baked my little heart out, i got thinking about 2 things.

1) why is it that every time i bake, every cupboard is open, every dish is dirty, and it looks like a wild raccoon broke in and found my stash of...everything?
2) what makes a secret recipe "secret?"

the second thought really resonated with me as i made my Grandma's secret recipe of chocolate-peppermint cookies with cream cheese frosting. i've eaten a lot of chocolate cookies in my day. and i've eaten a lot of peppermint (peppermint happens to be one of my favorite things). but this mix of chocolate and peppermint is the PB+J, the Simon + Garfunkel, the spaghetti + meatballs- basically the bomb-est combination to exist. i remembered times when Grandma baked this cookie- dressed in her adorable hand-sewn apron, with red lipstick on and a perfect beehive do' and i get a little teary eyed. funny how a cookie can bring back a flood of memories that make you happy and sad all at the same time.

so i have really wanted to share this all-powerful-emotional cookie recipe with you, my friends. but i couldn't do that while she was alive because she would disown me. this was NOT my recipe to give. and now that she has passed away, i have been tempted a half a dozen times to share it again- but i'm even more afraid now that i might lose a guardian angel or something. and then all of a sudden a bunch of mysterious crap might start happening to me (no, i'm not superstitious. why do you ask?). i personally think recipes are like books- the more to read it, the more to enjoy it. but i guess i will keep this secret recipe locked up a little longer in honor of my Grandma...along with wearing red-lipstick while i bake.

our elf, George-Albert (Georgie, as we call him) has been busy lately. he's gone fishing, done some impressive pull-ups, made a snow angel, made an ornament pile in Ellie's shoe, hung a diaper and undies from our Christmas Card display, and painted Ellie's nose red while she was sleeping (which made her cry. dang). i'm torn because i'm ready for him to stop being so creative- but i'll definitely miss this sneaky lil guy.

the other night, we went to a friends' house in our stake who does this awesome little Christmas Village display. it takes 40 hours to set up- but it is amazing. it's one of our favorite December FHE traditions- and the picture below is one of my pride and joys- i love when she flashes a peace sign.

also, we went into San Francisco the other night to see all the festive stuff with M's parents and brother. we went in with the purpose to see the biggest Gingerbread House at the Fairmont Hotel. we parked a little above the fairmont right next to the Grace Cathedral. the architecture was stunning- i sorta love old cathedrals. i'd always stop and admire them in NYC when i lived back East years ago... i love how they make you feel like you step out of 2011 into another era. inside the cathedral, this guy was playing really creepy organ music, and there were lots of crucifixion depictions...so we didn't stay too long. but we enjoyed our little stumble across such an amazing building.

then we scurried along, (hand in hand with grandpa and Jeffy)...

and ended up at the Fairmont- where the decorations were amazing- and the Gingerbread house was even better (though i was kind of disgusted watching 9 year old little girls eating the nerds-rope off of the house. where on earth were their parents?). Ellie loved it.

and then Alice got something in her eye- Ellie assured us not to worry and to keep smiling for our rare photo op- and she'd help Alice get it out. such a concerned sibling.

walking back to our car, there was this little park that Ellie insisted on playing at- while Alice insisted upon eating the sand. nothing like some inner-city sand to bring in some good Vitamin C mixed with feesies.

after the Fairmont/'park affair, we headed to Union Square to visit the iconic Macy's and Union Square Christmas Tree. we also saw amazing shops all decked out for Christmas, had cigar smoke blown in our faces, saw a really huge castle made out of sugar icing and other stuff, and herded with the rest of the cattle along the busy streets of SF. it was madness. and so fun. thanks Chapmans for such a fun evening of city-craziness.

and now it is the 23rd of December. and the sun is shining, my house is a disaster- and i'm ready to sign off for a few days.

Christmas is wonderful, isn't it? and while we've been doing all this fun, crazy holiday-ish stuff, we've also had time to really talk about and think about our Savior. my grandpa on my mom's side had this wonderful tradition that my mom kept while we were growing up. each of us had a box, and in that box was blank paper. on that paper we'd write one thing that we were going to give as a gift to the Savior that year. maybe it was to speak kinder to those around us. maybe it was to pray in His name more often. maybe it was to be a better friend and serve more. whatever it was, we'd write it on the paper and put it in the box as our Gift to Him- to remind us whose day it really was. i love this tradition and am looking forward to doing it with my family this year- because i know that all i am is because of Him.

Merry Christmas everyone!
love you to the moon and back.

xoxo

round 2, cuddles, and festive stuff.

2011-12-15T18:32:00.000-08:00

just got back from round 2 at the dr's office this week.
results:
second round of 2 ear infections.
second round of pink eye.
PLUS teething- she's cutting molars..

PLUS a mama who is on the verge of going insane.

i guess that would explain why Alice has been screaming her guts out/has been glued to my hip/has been hanging on my leg when not on said hip...

poor little thing.
and Ellie- poor 2nd little thing, is still coughing her guts out... dr says it's normal- but c'mon- coughs like this are not normal. but what do i know. i didn't study at an expensive university for a hundred years- so i guess i'll believe the lady who did.

anyway- two good things did come of this.
1) we found a new pediatrician. one that the girls actually talked to and liked. that was new and cool.
2) i've gotten lots of extra snuggles. which is a rare thing from this little wiggly creature these days. and a rare thing from her wiggly older sister, who seems to like dad wayyyy better than me (heck, i don't even know if she likes me at all these days). (note: me + Ellie's cuddle pictures = silly face pictures. hey, i get what i can get).

i'm just hoping we're getting all of this garbage out of the way so we can have a superly awesome-tastic healthy-licious Christmas.

anyway.
enough with all of this bah-humbug complaining stuff!
i'm annoying the crap out of myself right now.
we've been keepin' it real- and mixin' in some fun festive stuff when we can.

some fun festive stuff:

my rosette wreath is finally finished and hanging on the door. i love it- though am noticing all of its imperfections now. like how you can see the middle part, and i should probably add more rosettes there. but making more rosettes sounds nauseating. and i always burn myself with the hot glue gun, so i'm leaving it hung and giving my poor fingers a break for a while.

we wrote letters to Santa and actually took them to the post office. we did this last year too (you can read about it here), and i think it is such a fun tradition. i like to imagine the postman's face when he sees:

'Santa Claus

North Pole

Planet Earth'

on the address line. i like to think that he smiles when he sees it.

we also have visited Santa- a couple of times. once we went to the Mall. Ellie loved getting to meet the Snow Princess that lives at the North Pole by Santa. i didn't even know she existed- if i was Mrs. Claus i'd be a little ticked knowing a hot, young babe always dressed for a wedding was hanging around. but whatevs.

the big news was actually that Santa told Alice that she was on the naughty list (he heard about all the ornament shattering, floor coloring, water-dumping, and diaper-changing-tae-kwon-do-wrestling that she has been doing). Ellie seemed all-too pleased about this. apparently she believes justice should be served (she's a little police officer). the Santa at the mall was pretty amazing, though- i thought he looked super authentic- i especially loved his mustache with the curled ends.

another time we went to Six Flags' Holiday in the Park to see him. they have a cool sleigh that you get to sit in- and even have elves and Mrs. Claus there. but the Santa there has a bad case of old-man breath, and was kind of wonky this year. he kept "suggesting" for me to sit in the front with the girls..i didn't want to cuz i knew i'd look ginormous in the picture- but he wouldn't let it go- so i shimmied my way up front...and bam, my suspicion was correct- i'm a giant in the picture. i wanted to whisper to him "you stink like beef and cheese. you sit on a throne of lies." but i didn't. because that would have been rude.

while at Holiday in the Park, Ellie also met a creepy Gingerbread Man who hugged her for an abnormally long amount of time. we also watched the huge tree get lit, waited way too long to ride the carousel, enjoyed all the Christmas trees and other lights lit up everywhere, and listened to a terrible medley of Christmas songs that could only be performed by theme-park singers.

and contrary to my really mean synopsis of Holiday in the Park, we had a blast and plan to go back next week.

i finally started wrapping Christmas presents. my mom is super amazing at wrapping gifts. she said that she got it from her dad who always made a special Christmas gift for each of them each year and would make the wrapping of that special gift just as incredible as the gift itself. presentation is key. anyway, i am not as good at wrapping as my mom is. but i'm happy with the outcome nonetheless.

we've also addressed/labeled a good deal of Christmas cards (let me know if you want one! and if you are expecting one, there are some that haven't been sent yet- i had to reorder and have been checking 2x's a day for a week waiting for the rest- ugh!). we've received quite a few too! i set up a little display on our wall- makes me happy to see so many of your faces, our family and friends, on our walls. man, we miss you guys.

of course, we've been doing as much shopping as we can (amidst melt-downs, runny noses, and nervous breakdowns). our favorite was going to see the huge tree in downtown Walnut Creek. my girls loved that.

and we even have lights on our little house. i love that M likes to be festive and gladly put up the lights as soon as we were back in town from Thanksgiving. he takes great pride in those lights, as he should.

finally, (are you still there? whew) our little elfish friend, George Albert has made mornings so fun with his little mischievous hide-n'-seek spots. i haven't photographed all of them- but my faves have been:
::the toilet paper hammock he made from the bathroom door handle,
::having a tea party with Ellie's princesses,
::peeing in the toilet and not flushing
::and when i woke up and he had mopped up my floors.
Ellie asks for Georgie first thing in the morning- and laughs every time she finds him. i've loved this tradition- even at 6:30 am when i wake up stressed that Georgie (Ellie's nick-name for George-Albert) hasn't left the mantle yet... it's a little involved, but so worth it.

other festivities on our to-list:
ward christmas party
white elephant christmas party
making neighborhood/friends treats
baking the traditional chocolate peppermint cookies (grandma's secret recipe!)
seeing the lights at the temple
going to the lights at the zoo
our Primary Nativity lesson
seeing our favorite decked-out- house all lit up (the one that coordinates with the radio- it's truly awesome) (we still haven't seen it this year!)
going into SF- seeing the tree on the Pier, Macy's, + the giant gingerbread houses
cross off those last gifts off of my never-ending list!
our "Symbols of Christmas" FHE lesson
a magical christmas morning, filled with joy and happiness...and with no tears or meltdowns (wishful thinking?)

man there's a lot to do/see, huh?
Christmas time is the best!
but it also wears me out.
hope you're enjoying the festiveness (and taking naps when you need 'em)!

PS Christmas arrived a little early today- i bought a groupon back in June that i used to snag a Canvas from our family photos last month. it was hard to choose which one...but i figured the one with all of us looking/smiling at the camera was a Christmas Miracle in itself and should be the natural winner. i'm so excited to hang it up!

PPS: i'm so sorry this was so long. i was wishing it was over like an hour ago, so i can only imagine how you're feeling. i've always been a little too long-winded. but i guess you all know that by now.

xoxo

San Francisco Ballet: the Nutcracker

2011-12-10T09:31:00.001-08:00

-train ride
-10 second burger king stop- enough time to photograph our tickets
-balcony seating
-a happy, festive family memory- where Ellie repeatedly asked thousands of questions throughout the performance ...including whether or not she could wear a sparkly tutu like the snow princess someday
-dreaming of the sugar plum fairy...

...just some of my favorite moments from our date to see the Nutcracker with Ellie last night.

though, i think my favorite part was when Ellie asked if the baby being pushed in the stroller at the beginning was baby Jesus. yes, i think we are doing a good job of instilling the true meaning of Christmas into our children's brains. i'm so proud.

xoxo

december-ish

2011-12-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

it feels decemberish...
and it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here.

some evidences:

:: a little sneaky elf is residing at our house- his name is George Albert the Elf. we like this sneaky little guy. especially since he made us an amazingly delicious Santa-Pancake breakfast upon his arrival.
:: we have an impressive line-up of cold-cough remedies stacked on our counters
:: we went to our cute little Christmas Tree Lot down the street and hand-picked our cute little tree. we brought back the smells of heaven with us.
:: we got half-way through trimming the tree and ran out of lights. and realized we didn't have hooks to hang our ornaments with. so it stayed half-lit and undecorated for a day. drove me nuts.
:: my little helpers helped me make our own little colorfully funky pom-pom garland. it took way longer than i expected. and i love it.
:: Ellie literally squealed with delight putting the star on the tree. i loved that.
:: my little helpers have done lots of sporatic shopping and deal-searching with me, in hopes to find the perfect gifts for loved ones
:: and i've even been working on finishing that little rosette-wreath i pinned on pinterest like a year ago. i'm happy with how it's turning out.

we have been doing other decemberish things that are unpictured (for now) including (but not limited to):

:: Christmas lights on our little house

:: watching the First Presidency Christmas Devotional (if you missed it, you can watch here- it was wonderful).

:: listening to tons of Christmas music, full blast (even Angels We Have Heard On High...Jenny is my witness)

:: baking and eating way too many treats already...even for breakfast (take that, P90x!)

:: finally ordering our Christmas cards- i'm so excited with how they turned out. can't wait to send you one!

:: and, meeting Santa (which will be featured on its own post when i have time to scan the ridiculously priced picture (yes, Six Flags doesn't let you take a picture with your own camera anymore! ba humbug!)

we are loving December, as i'm sure you are too.

xoxo

thanksgiving 2011 highlights:

2011-11-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

cooking cooking cooking

10 lbs of the creamiest potatoes you've ever tasted

Mimi's stuffing success

pushing strollers all over the house

little girls giggling

7 pies- including the most delicious pumpkin pie i've ever tasted, the most delicious apple pie i've ever tasted, and of course the famous razzleberry pie that makes all my dreams come true with every bite

50 buttery rolls

the most gorgeous turkey i've ever seen (and delicious, too. even though i tend to think turkey is weird and only eat it on thanksgiving)

the most beautiful table settings / fall decor

black friday shopping (at 3 am, with M. we are such weirdos!)

perfect weather

lovely morning runs on the beach

digging in the sand

cutest cousins playing non-stop with minimal fighting

sweetest sleeping Ruth

talking and laughing and poking fun at each other (dry cups vs liquid cups)

lots of playing outside

running and splashing in the ocean

a perfect beach sunset

time flying by

thanks Mom & Pops for such a memorable week.

and now, i can't believe the holidays are here. i'm sitting here sniffling and coughing my guts out- but i have christmas music blasting, so all is right in the world. i adore Christmas time. who doesn't? can't wait to get our tree and dress her up tonight!

xoxo

gratitude snippets: day 4.

2011-11-24T09:44:00.001-08:00

this morning i should probably write about something profound that i am grateful for- seeing that it is the actual thanksgiving day.

but really my mind just keeps thinking about how grateful I am for morning runs on the beach (they are my happy place)...

and all the delicious food i get to eat today- including homemade pies and rolls... all of which i will shamelessly indulge in, to 100% capacity, with zero guilt, thanks to said run.

oh, and sharing the beach run my people was pretty awesome too.

hope you get to enjoy a delicious thanksgiving with some of your awesome people, too.

happy thanksgiving from so cal!

xoxo

gratitude snippets: day 3

2011-11-23T07:48:00.001-08:00

today i am grateful for road trips.

i am grateful for these long car-rides that always involve some combination of the following: watching beautiful sunrises, singing songs, playing games, watching movies, eating treats and snacks, taking lots of potty breaks, stopping at farms, reading books, talking, crying, sleeping with a crink in your neck, yummy drinks, a massive amount of bedhead, and...the promise of ending up somewhere pretty cool.

so excited to be spending thanksgiving with my family- i even get to meet my new niece, Ruth! i'm so excited, i can't stand it.

Ellie was up at three am at my bedside telling me it was time to go. needless to say, she is pretty excited too.

hope you get to spend the holiday with people you love!

xoxo

gratitude snippets: day 2

2011-11-22T12:28:00.000-08:00

today i am grateful for my body.

there are lots of random thoughts i've had about it this morning. sure, it is ever-changing and ever-aging these days. it does not look like it did when i was 18. i have stretch-marks, blemishes, scars, and flabby skin in unflattering places. i have gimpy fingers, and i bruise wayyy more easily than i used to. my once perky boobs are now deflated and small. and if i'm being honest, i feel like i am always determined to exercise more and eat right-er to lose that infamous last 5 (or 10) pounds. but my body is wonderful. some reasons why:

i can go on a run pretty much whenever i want (well, when my kids cooperate). i am no professional, marathon runner- but i love going on runs. they are my holy place. and i am so grateful for my healthy knees, my strong heart, and my willing feet that can carry me through this hobby.

somehow, my body created and delivered 2 healthy babies. this thought never ceases to amaze me. i cannot believe that our bodies can perform such a miracle. and every time i really look into the eyes of my little girls, i remember what a huge blessing it is that my body could do that.

now that my babies aren't so young, i often get a full-nights' sleep. i know some peoples' bodies don't allow them to do this. i am a very grouchy person when i am sleep-deprived, and so i am so grateful for the many nights of rest that my body (and my girls) allow me to get.

amazingly, i have been able to nurse both babies as long as i wanted to. but truth-be-told, i am also grateful to be done nursing and to get my body back (hallelujah!) just last Friday (a little more than a week ago), Alice had her last feeding. i admit, i was the one who needed to be weaned, not Alice. you see, she's become such a wiggly, active thing...she's just much too busy for me and my snuggles anymore...and i was too stubborn to give them up. until finally i did, and now i am doing a happy dance. unfortunately my boobs were weaned along with Alice (meaning, they are shriveled little grapes...not even big enough to be called raisins)- but it is so wonderful to now not have someone needing some part of my body multiple times a day. i am also grateful to not be ravenously hungry like i was when i was nursing. and i am grateful to be able to wear a big push-up bra (without worrying it will punch alice in the face while feeding) to cover-up the effects of 2 children. because even though i am grateful for my body, it doesn't mean i am not well-aware of its flaws.

xoxo

gratitude snippets: day 1

2011-11-21T21:24:00.001-08:00

day 1:

tonight i am grateful for family home evening.

{photo taken by Harlow Photography}

now before i go into any more detail i must confess: we have a history of being HORRIBLE at holding regular family nights. M and i would go on little kicks of "trying to be better"- but i honestly think that up until a couple of months ago, the longest we ever went was 2 consecutive weeks of FHE. (tail between the legs). we have no good excuse, seeing that both of us were brought up by awesomely goodly parents who taught us better than that and did hold regular family nights. but for some reason it just didn't click with us and we consistently fell short. i admit that it might have had something to do with me not wanting yet another thing to have to plan and be in charge of and nag about (Debbie downer, i know). and that's the truth of it all in a shelled nut. we used to be crappy FHE-ers.

well, a couple of months ago, i had an epiphany that i was not excluded from our prophet's counsel to have family nights. I decided that i was being a lazy-butthead, and our family could really benefit from gospel-centered lessons. we needed some good family time. and we needed to teach more about Jesus and the stories from the scriptures, rather than just assuming the girls would be fine and learn it eventually.

so we started having family night. we started with coming up with Family Rules. and one of them was to have family night every week. we haven't missed since. it makes me feel so happy to type that.

Alice loves it. she squeals and dances and marches around the whole time. Ellie loves it! she loves the scriptures. she loves singing the songs. she loves our special treats that we only get on Monday nights.

she even mimics FHE on other nights and pretends to give us lessons and do activities.

i feel a little ashamed by my lack of faith and obedience in following the little things -- specifically in having family night -- because for us it has turned into such a big thing- such an incredible blessing. sure, the lessons are usually simple, and we get easily side-tracked...but i promise, our family has already grown closer and created new memories...and its only been a couple of months! and i guess i realize that in not having FHE, we were just withholding blessings from ourselves. which is silly, no?

so tonight, i'm grateful for FHE. and hope we keep it a family tradition forever and ever.

xoxo

a thankful thursday

2011-11-17T15:36:00.000-08:00

a few weeks ago, my little family had pictures taken by the wonderfully talented Denae Harlow.
i wanted to wait to post any pictures, since i obviously will use one or two of them in a Christmas card that i'll be sending out- and i didn't want to ruin the surprise.

but i just couldn't wait...
i love them too much.

the more i look at the pictures, the more my heart is filled with love and gratitude for these 3 adorable people who have filled my life with so much meaning and purpose.
we've had some situations surrounding us in the last little while that have just really made me look at my own little family and just be so grateful for the blessings that somehow are mine. how did i get so lucky? i can't quite be sure. all i know is that 10 years ago, i dreamed of a handsome husband who'd love me and be kind to me. i dreamed of having kids and being a mom. i dreamed of being happy.
i'm a definite believer that dreams can and do come true, even in unexpected, unplanned ways.
i love this quote by Camilla Kimball, one of the sweetest most genuine ladies to ever live (not that i know her personally or anything- just by stories i've heard of her, and stories i've read of hers):

"you do not find the happy life. you make it."

i think it's true. you can't always go looking for something bigger and better than what or where you are. it kind of reminds me of the thought "the grass is always greener on the other side..." but what i think is it may be greener over there, but that doesn't mean your grass isn't green, so make the best of it, right? at least your grass isn't brown! but then again, i think sometimes, for whatever reason, the happy life finds you. and really, i feel like the happy life has found me. sure, sometimes things are topsy turvy. Ellie cries about nonsensical things, and Alice hangs on my leg while i pee, and M decides to fix a fence 10 minutes before we need to leave somewhere... but my life is full. full of love. full of smiles. full of memories and bruises on our foreheads. full of tears, of both heartaches and joy.

and so today, i am grateful. most grateful for these wonderful people that i get to share the happy life with. because it wouldn't be that without them.

{p.s. my mutant finger made a surprise appearance! i tried to disguise that poor pinky with finger-nail polish...but how can you disguise a mutant?? you can't. poor guy.}

{all images were taken by Harlow Photography c/o Denae Harlow. she's awesome, huh?}

life is good.

xoxo

november nights

2011-11-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

if i could have just one wish on this 11-11-11 day, it would be to remember nights like this forever and ever.

xoxo

holga: california dreamin'

2011-11-10T13:23:00.000-08:00

all the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey
i went for a walk on a winter's day

i'd be safe and warm if i was in LA

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

ok, the skies here are actually pretty blue today.
and i am actually in California.
and it's actually not winter at all. i'm not even sure what winters are anymore...other than massive rain clouds and down-pours. it still kind of weirds me out to not have to buy snow gear.
so i know it is kinda silly that this song is playing in my head.
but it is.
i think it's mostly because i just got back this old roll of Holga film from the end of summer.
and i do miss my Southern Cal home.
i miss my Southern Cal people.
and my Southern Cal beach.
and even though Fall is my fave,
i'm missin' my not-so-white legs, and my girls' cute swimmin' suits just a teense bit today.
so i'm eating watermelon and popsicles (wrapped under a blanket) right now... and dreaming of the smell of sunscreen and salty air.

...but don't worry, soup and bread is on the menu tonight... because i'm sure by then my summer cravings will pass and i'll be ready to be cozy again.

xoxo

the wonder years

2011-11-09T17:04:00.000-08:00

right now is quiet time in our house.
and it is actually quite quiet, for the moment.
ahhhh, sweet peace.
while i am taking a breather, i have netflix on -- i am currently re-watching my childhood favorite show, the Wonder Years from the beginning (thanks to my sister's brilliant discovery).
did you watch the Wonder Years?
of course you did.

it's like "our show."
you know, the show of our childhood.
the show that gives us a glimpse into what our mom + dad's childhoods may have been like.
the show that makes you think of your own jr. high/high school friends and first loves.
the show that makes you imagine yourself as Winnie Cooper and remember your own Kevin Arnold.
the show that makes you laugh and be frustrated and tear up and ...really, makes you feel like you're watching your own life in a show form.

anyway. i love this show. it's hilarious. and cute. and makes me forget all of my sticky floors and puzzle messes and remember what it was like to be a kid. it makes me remember my wonder years. sometimes i miss being a kid. do you miss being a kid too? life was just so much simpler then. like when you could just go for a ride on your bike. or when the biggest stress of your day was forgetting to practice the piano or that it was your turn to do the dishes or wondering if Johnny Hot-Lips thought you were a Suzy-Hot-Tush.

today's episode started with this quote:

"when you're a little kid, you're a little bit of everything; artist, scientist, athlete, scholar. sometimes it seems like growing up is a process of giving those things up, one by one. i guess we all have one thing we regret giving up. one thing we really miss. that we gave up because we were too lazy. because we couldn't stick it out. or because we were too afraid."

it made me remember that being a kid wasn't always easy either.
and the growing up part is hard. giving things up is the worst.
and i really hated the insecurity that being a kid/teenager brought.
like reeealllly hated it.
of course then, i probably didn't understand how challenging those moments were.
i'd like to believe i made the best of the hard stuff and enjoyed the fun stuff.
but now that i realize how hard some of that was, maybe i'm glad that i have grown up a little bit.
i'm glad to be a little more the Master of my life and a little less the questioner, the wonder-er... of what it all would become.
wondering who you'd become someday was a scary thought, wasn't it?

even though my childhood is long gone, now i'm thoroughly enjoying watching my girls enjoy their childhoods and their own wonder years. they are so cute and fun- and they change every day.

Alice is changing especially fast. she is suddenly SO active. and has a very LOUD opinion of things. she loves finger rhymes- especially 5 little speckled frogs and the itsy bitsy spider- and can even mimic the hand-motions. it's really cute. she loves to get jiggy with it during our family dance parties and...meal-times are her holy times. it is impressive how fast she can clear her tray. which means i'm eating meals especially fast these days, too- because i can't get a decent bite if Alice isn't strapped down in a seat somewhere.

oh, and most importantly these days, Alice is my little Linus. you know, Linus from Charlie Brown? you see, she walks (read: marches) around all day long, dragging long her little lovie. what is Alice's lovie, you ask? well, it is a silky slip that my mom let me cut. Alice was obsessed with my silky under-clothes. (get what i'm puttin' down?). somehow she would find tops and bottoms in every which place and would hold them to her face and suck on her thumb. it kind of got out of hand, so i asked my mom (the fountain of knowledge) what the heck i should do. well, like most moms do, she had a brilliant solution- using a silky slip in its place. and it's done the trick- and been Alice's companion ever since. she LOVES that thing.

Ellie is my little emotional ballerina diva. her favorite color is red, (hence the red coat),

she loves to look pretty (read: dress up/put make-up on/admire herself in the mirror),

and she is obsessed with candy. so obsessed, in fact, that i followed the advice of one of my friends, Karen, and had the Switch Witch come to our house the day or two after Halloween and take all of our candy in exchange for a little present. crazy, you say? well, that's what you have to do with candy-obsessed children; take it all away because it makes them nuts. and in turn makes their mamas nuts. anyway. these days Ellie feels like she is a big kid. she hates to miss out on the fun- especially at bed-time...and so more than once or twice, M and i have found her like this (after she's come out of her room a dozen times or so):

and while she is getting so big, she's still so little. don't you think she's so little? oh, and she's so sweet, too.

and the girls together- well they're a cute, feisty little team. they love each other. and they love to argue with each other and take each other's stuff all the time. kind of reminisces of Kevin and Wayne, no? Alice basically follows Ellie around everywhere all day long.

i'm convinced Alice learned to walk so young (took first steps at 10 months, full-on walking everywhere by 11 months) out of desperation to keep up with Ellie. she asks for Ellie first thing she wakes up ("El El El El," is what she says for Ellie) and wants to do everything Ellie wants to do. about 50% of the time, Ellie enjoys this, and kisses that Alice to death...making her fall on her butt until Alice squawks and yells at her. the other 50% of the time, Ellie has some serious aggression towards Alice. and Ellie then goes to time out for acting upon that aggression. (again, reminiscent of Wayne and Kevin). but Alice does a pretty good job of sticking up for herself. and seems pretty resilient to Ellie's jabs and pushes. and Ellie's jabs and pushes are becoming less frequent. still, i've had to succumb to my new role in parenthood as a referee. i hate this role, but i guess it is what it is.

and so the days are just melting away.
these Wonder Years of my sweet girls' lives are flashing by quicker than i can catch my breath.
and we're loving every out-of-breath moment as much as we possibly can.

xoxo

Alice's Circus

2011-11-01T14:25:00.000-07:00

hi!
so we're experiencing some serious post-Halloween sugar crashes over here. wow. i'm going nuts. and have literally hidden all the candy because i can't take it any more (and neither can my butt). maybe Halloween isn't as great as i always thought it was? or maybe i'm just seeing it from a new point of view (the view of the parent who has to deal with the sugar-overdoses).

whew.

so, here i am to post about something happy.
Alice's birthday party!

{isn't she just about the cutest thing in the whole wide world?}

i've never had so much fun throwing a party as i did throwing Alice's 1st Birthday Circus party.
the ideas were seriously endless (thanks to Pinterest)!
and of course, what makes a party is the good company. thanks to everyone for coming and getting your Circus on with us. a huge shout-out to my parents and sister for driving out all that way just to celebrate with us. it was seriously so fun.

now, the party started out with a total bang. literally.
we had these huge mylar balloons tied to a post in our backyard..
well, one danced away...and made its way into the power line behind our house.
as the guests were arriving, we heard a huge BAM. POW. ZZZZKKK!! sound. it was wacky.
a few seconds later we heard another POW! and saw the electrical lines explode down.

and then...the power went out.

it stayed out for an hour and forty five minutes...almost the entire party.
all of our neighbors were in the streets (because they were probably watching big football games or making lunch or doing something equally frustrating to lose power for) wondering what the heck had happened.
we pretended we had no idea.
the firetruck came.
the electricians came.

and finally restored power to all.
lucky for us, you don't need power at a Circus party.
and so we just laughed about it (amidst the sounds of fire engines and sirens) and hoped no one would come and publicly humiliate us (or arrest us) in front of all of our family friends.
no one did.
phew.

did you know mylar balloons could do that?
neither did i.
and neither should high school boys. please, keep this information from them.. or it could mean serious trouble for us all.

in spite of the crazy balloon incident, the party was killer. here's a peek into our fun:

the set-up:

the birthday girl, ring leader of the Circus, Miss One-derful, Alice:

her chosen audience:

the activities:
eating (obviously)
face painting
reading corner
coloring station
goin' fishin'
ring of fire
photo booth (which i will feature at the end)

the main event (~~destroying~~ eating the first birthday cake):

my personal favorite, the photo booth (i made everyone sit down and take a picture at our "photo-booth" on their way out- and then mailed them a copy later. i have so many other pictures than this, but for the sake of my precious free time and your eyes getting dried out from too many pictures/too long of a post, i will spare us all):

it was such a lovely afternoon- thanks to everyone who made it so special...
especially to the birthday girl for coming into our lives, making our family the craziest circus ever, and making it the most enjoyable stage of life thus far.

life is sweet!

xoxo

boo!

2011-10-31T22:15:00.000-07:00

Ellie has been in at least 5 different costumes today (i'm a mean mom and wouldn't let her wear her Alice dress until tonight. c'mon folks, she's three. and her Alice dress is all white in front. that's just a recipe for disaster). lucky for me, Ellie thought it was awesome. and she thought it was triple awesome that she could eat candy all day long. it was practically the best day of her life.

All in all, it was a super fun day- lots of fun with friends, having dinner with family, and of course trick-or-treating.

Alice loved the candy bowl.
who doesn't?

off with his head!

trick-or-treating was a blast.
Ellie-Alice squealed from house to house in excitement.
i love seeing her so happy.
and little Alice-Cheshire Cat purred right at her heels.

they were pretty stoked with the spoils.

and now we're all in a sugar coma.

man it's way more tiring than i remember.

whew.

but since it's halloween, i wanted to leave you with one last little halloween treat:

hope your day has been extra spooky!

xoxo

right now..

2011-10-29T15:32:00.000-07:00

right now we have 17 mini pumpkins scattered around our house. Ellie and Alice are obsessed with mini pumpkins and almost always have one in their hands.

right now i should be planning sharing time for tomorrow.

right now i have 189 unread posts in my blogger. and like a bajillion emails to go through.

right now my kitchen table looks like this:

right now i feel like an Olympian that i my MIL and some incredible friends finished those blasted 28 felt pages in time for our exchange this morning.

right now i never want to look at felt again.

but right now, i'm so excited by how adorable the felt pages by everyone turned out. some people are so crafty and creative. once i have them all put together maybe i'll do a feature post. but then again, i've still never done a post about our yard or Alice's birthday (or her room, now that i'm thinking of it), so a feature post is a weak promise to make.

right now i'm loving Halloween-October Season. mostly because i love that i get to have an excuse to let the girls dress up all day every day and i'm not viewed as the "weird mom," but rather the fun one.

right now i'm loving our trunk or treat pictures from last night- unfortunately i did not get any good individual pictures of us, ....but i will remedy that come Monday/trick-or-treating. it was a super fun family ensemble to do this year.

right now i am eating a huge bowl of chili thanks to an abundance of leftovers that i made for last night. i will be eating chili for a month.

right now i finished that bowl of chili (i took a little break...didn't want to drip on the computer) and am now eating yet another Reese's peanut butter cup. Halloween candy is going to be the death of me and my figure.

right now i'm freaking out trying to put together outfits for family pictures next Friday. i mean really, this shouldn't be so hard. but for me it is. because i am indecisive -- and i really want us to look cute.

right now i am so freaking excited because my sister in law is about to have a baby, and they just changed their thanksgiving plans to go to Southern Cal (instead of their previous plan which included my parents/sister going to Texas for Thanksgiving, and us staying here)- which means we get to go to Southern Cal, i get to see my fam again sooner than i expected, and i get to meet my new niece and snuggle her in less than a month.

right now i want to go back to bed. and it's only 3:00 pm. but staying up till 2 am and 3 am the last three or four nights is seriously making me wonky.

right now it's amazingly silent in my house (though it looks like a war-zone around here) and so i think i just might go back to bed.

sharing time can wait, right?

xoxo

procrastinating felt.

2011-10-25T21:20:00.001-07:00

right now i'm laying on the couch listening to Ellie laugh while M throws her beloved stuffed dogs (the ones that sleep with her in her bed every night- and have since...forever) up onto the ceiling fan so that he can turn it on and watch them fly. dads really are just more fun than us worn out moms. because right now i want to go in there and say "quit the shenanigans, you two- it's past your bed-time!! lights out!" but that makes me feel elderly, so i'll just sit here with my feet cozied up on the couch in my new adorable Toms (courtesy of adorable sister) and let my peeps be happy a little longer.

life has recently become so full and busy for me and our little family. busy = good- but also tiring. so tiring. and so i'm taking a mini-break on my little cozy yellow couch. a break to let some of my wild thoughts free.

one of the big life-changes is that i got called to be the Primary President in my ward (feel free to insert gasp here...like unto the congregational gasp that happened when they made the announcement in Sacrament Meeting last Sunday). (for those not-LDS readers out there- this just means that i, along with three other women, are in charge of running the child organization in our church group). i have gone through a whirlwind of emotions since i got called. first and foremost, i feel inadequate. i'm only 26 years old. i know that experience = knowledge and wisdom, and i just have very little of either of those things. i am so lucky to have some wonderful counselors and secretary, 2 of which have been the primary president before. but i honestly feel like a little duckling trying to lead the ducks- it is ridiculous thinking of a duckling leading a duck- but that's how it feels. i just know there are far more experienced, capable women out there- and am scared to make mistakes.

having said all of that, i have been overwhelmed by the love i have felt from Heavenly Father. i feel like He truly knows me and understands the chaos that is my life sometimes- and will help me get through it- and make peace out of this chaos...somehow. and for now, i find sure peace knowing that I love Him, and i love children, and hopefully those two things will be on my side. i know many of you wonderful women have served and are serving in callings like these- and that inspires me! and of course, i'm so excited for all of the things that these children will teach me- i can't wait to surround myself with their sticky hands and chatter-box voices- and their pure faith and hearts. i just love kids so much.

and so that's my new life in the Primary.

before i knew about this calling, i had signed up for this Quiet Book Co-op- basically it was this group if ladies that were going to make X number of a designated gospel-topic-felt page, and we'd all swap. I'm not sure when or how this ever appealed to me- because i hardly sew, and i am barely crafty. but the thought of having an adorable homemade book like those masterpieces floating around on pinterest was kind of exciting. so i signed up.

birthdays happened. family came into town. world went crazy with new calling. felt book = last priority.

and now, my pages (28 of them! 28!!!!) are due on Saturday and i feel like a tenth grader who has procrastinated her end of semester project that counts for 97.3% of her grade.

I'm about to flunk.

guys why did i do this to myself?

ugh. thank goodness for awesome friends who will help you for hours and hours sewing snaps and cutting felt. and even for a husband who (bless his heart) did his best to cut some ~~deformed~~ fruit. both acts of true love.

but the truth is, i don't know if i'll ever be able to look at or touch felt again.

and yet it calls to me. because i'm not finished yet. and wonder if i ever will be.

hey, at least X factor is on!
i've always been a sucker for reality TV.
and i really like Astro the rapper and Drew- but i've also always been a sucker for the teen-boppers.

ok, now i'm just procrastinating again. it's just so easy to do when felt is involved.

xoxo

miss one-derful.

2011-10-21T16:58:00.000-07:00

yeah, it's official. i stink at being a bloggaholic.
maybe it's the fact that my one-year-old is a walking godzilla.
maybe it's the fact that every time i turn my head or start doing something that requires both of my eyeballs from watching the two hooligans, terror ensues. and tears inevitably follow.
maybe it's the fact that when i get a free moment, all i want to do is lay flat on my back in utter silence (until i hear a fly buzzing around my personal bubble, and then my free time is spent going on a mad-fly-killing spree).
whatever it is, i won't be seeing blogging therapy any time soon.
my apologies.

anyway- probably the most exciting thing that has happened around here in a while is that our little baby Alice has turned into a not-so-much-of-a-baby-one-year-old.

being a parent is such a miraculous thing, don't you think?
i mean, watching a baby learn and grow and transform into the person she'll always be is truly amazing.

Alice has been such a sweet baby.
so sweet, in fact, that i have wished almost her entire babyhood that she wouldn't grow up out of being a baby. don't get me wrong- she's always been active and quick enough to keep up with her (cute) monster big sister. and i admit, now that we're really learning her personality, i'm starting to warm up to the idea of her lack of baby-ness anymore... but there's still that ache and pang in my side that is sad that she won't be a baby forever.
having a baby is just so unique and special. and so i'm hanging onto those little baby things a little while longer... and then maybe my baby hunger will take over and the only remedy will be to make another one.

sorry future posterity. but you'll have to learn about the birds and the bees eventually.

anyways, back to my point.
Alice Joy.

i don't know if i ever told you the story about her name. so i'll tell it real quick. just because i want to.
on the day that Alice was born, we went to the hospital...without a name picked out. i was so mad at M because he wouldn't ever talk about names with me, and when he did, it just turned into one big joke. "let's name her Bertha, after Jeff's big toe." or "let's name her Hilda, after our 65-year-old German neighbor." yeah right, you ding-dong. but mostly he made me mad because he didn't like my #1 pick of a name- the one i had told all of you about, Roxy. i loved that name. i still love that name. but M, he loathed it. "that's a dog's name," he'd say. or "my mom says it sounds like a Las Vegas lounge singer." yeah, i ~~wanted to punch him in the face~~ wasn't thrilled about his derogatory comments about my beloved Roxy name-- but i convinced myself that we'd make it to the hospital...and when he saw the complete and utter agony i was in bringing this dang baby into the world, he'd let me choose whatever name i wanted...and then we'd bundle little Roxy Lynne up and take her home.

but the day came.
and no such agony came.
it was a peaceful morning.

i know right?
peaceful?
but it's true.
i got up, showered. blow-dried my hair. painted my nails. and even put make-up on. (was i going to get family pictures taken, or to have a baby?).
my mom took me to the hospital so that M could take care of Ellie and get her to Grandma and Grandpa's house (so wonderful to have so many helping hands).

of course, when i got to the hospital, things were a little more stressful. they had me get in, and threw a gown at me and wanted to check my progress and put in the IV immediately. i was already dilated to a 3 or 4 or something like that...contractions were coming, and so they sent the anesthesiologist in right away to give me my epidural. the guy was a total dork who put in the needle three times and numbed only half of my body- and could never quite get it right. i still don't get it. like i said, he was a dork. but after that hour of chaos, the peace came again.
M strolled in.
we took some completely unflattering pictures of me and him (ones that no one will ever see).
and we waited.
we talked.
they ate delicious Sweet Affair sandwiches (kind of like Kneaders).
i ate ice chips (so gourmet).
we waited.
i tried to talk about names.
denied.
we waited.
we talked.
and my Nurse came into check me.
i was at a 10.
i finally said to M,
"ok we really need to decide what we're naming this baby!"
i mean seriously. it was stressing me out more than actually having the baby was.
we asked my Nurse for some name advice.
she was tight-lipped. (smart lady).
we asked my mom for some name advice.
she was also tight-lipped (double smart lady).
then i kinda tried to pretend like i was in a lot of pain.
and i moaned,
"please, let's just name her...(groan of pain) Roxxyyyy?"
he wasn't buying it.
"she is NOT a Roxy, Marci."
"FINE." i said.
i was mad.
and realized no amount of pain i pretended to be in would make mr. stubborn M change his mind.
so it started racing.
racing for new names.
all of the lame ones came to my mind, "Bertha. Hilda. Malificent. AHHHH. I HATE CHOOSING NAMESSS!!!!"
and then, there was peace for a minute. and out of the blue while sitting there, at a 10, waiting for my doctor to come and catch the unnamed baby girl, it just came to me.
"what about Alice?"

Alice was the first name we talked about when we got pregnant again. we both loved it, but i was skeptical because it sounds pretty close to Ellie. and i didn't want anyone calling Alice Allie, because that was reaaalllllly close. so we kind of ruled it out.

but then it that moment, i just knew it was her name.
and M knew it was her name, too. it was the first time i heard these three words come out of his mouth, "i love it."
and because it had been such a peaceful, joyful day, i knew her middle name had to be joy.
and so, literally 10 minutes before Alice Joy came into the world, we had chosen her name. and i can't imagine her as anything else. M was right (but i'll never admit again...and don't you DARE tell him i said that). she truly is the most joyful little creature on the planet.

i loved the day she was born.
and i've loved every day since.

some more about Alice:

Alice is spunky.
Alice is sweet.
Alice is curious.
Alice is a chatter-box.
Alice is a ham.
Alice lovvvvvvveees food- including (but not limited to) popcorn, strawberries, oranges, grapes, cheese, yogurt, and almost any variety of those awesome squeezable baby food things they have recently come out with (side note: those squeezable baby foods are genius! how they've changed my life! i especially love the ones that have a veggie mixed in. brilliant).
Alice has a round belly to prove that she looovvvvees food.
Alice loves her lovie.
Alice loves her thumb.
Alice loves her sister Ellie.
Alice loves to walk everywhere. and hates when she can't walk.
Alice doesn't have time to snuggle. even before sleeping.
Alice is always in a hurry. just like her mama.
Alice loves to squeal.
Alice loves to toss things out (ie DVD's, toys, blocks (danger!), clothes....the list could go on and on).
Alice loves to carry around either a spoon or a crayon at all times. random. but true.
Alice loves her bath. sometimes i'll catch her just standing in front of her bath, looking in. and one time, i couldn't find her anywhere. finally i looked in the bathroom and there she was, just sitting in the empty bath, looking up into the faucet...as if she was waiting for the water to come out.
Alice loves books.
Alice loves finger puppets.
Alice loves music- and even knows hand-motions to Popcorn Popping and The Itsy Bitsy Spider.
Alice loves to dance. i love seeing her little march dancing. so cute!
Alice loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Alice loves when Daddy comes home. she squeals and yells and runs to him. and then whacks him real good in the face (baby affection is so endearing).
Alice loves people- and saying "hiiiii!" to just about everybody we see when she's in a shopping cart or at a restaurant. she has a way of making people melt around her. including her mama.
Alice has her mama and daddy wrapped around her little finger.

she is just such a sweetie.
we all love her so much (duh)-- our hearts have grown practically a bajillion sizes since she entered our lives.

i love you miss Munch, tu tu, squish, Alice! (don't you love the nick-names you can come up with?)
i can't wait to see you continue to change and grow and discover this big world.

xoxo

being a bloggaholic is time consuming.

2011-10-19T17:23:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry. i just don't have time to tell another story today (especially with gimpy pinky over here, making it a funky process to type anything).

but i thought these pictures might hold you off till tomorrow.

some photobooth fun from Alice's little circus birthday party:

fun, huh!?
the party was a total riot.
and yes, i just rocked the word riot like it was 1993.
we'll chat again soon.

xoxo

the tale of the mutant pinkie*

2011-10-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

* let me preface this tale by saying 2 things:
1) i wrote this post by spelling the word "pinky" with a "y." spell-check gave me the red squiggly lines of death, and told me that it should be spelled "pinkie." so i changed it. but i personally like "pinky" better. thoughts?
2) what you're about to read is a tragic tale. a horrific tale that has become significantly funnier the further i get away from it actually happening. i'm pretty sure it belongs in a movie like Dumb and Dumberer-est or something. so. no need to feel guilty for laughing at my absolute dorkiness and for not feeling any sort of pity on my idiocy at all.

once upon a time, there was a young mama of two hooligan children. they were really cute children, but their constant mischief and whining made them hooligans nonetheless. (irrelevant details). this mama always operated about 5 minutes late...because one of said hooligans always had to go potty right before it was time to go, or had a messy diaper, or dumped a milk+water+paint concoction all over the floor. it was a circus. but it was a happy circus, so this mama was happy.

one day, the mama had 3 hours with only the baby hooligan, while the master hooligan was at school. the young mama was so excited because she had many errands to run- and then could put the baby down for her nap and even clean up some of the chaos back at the circus house. it was going to be a good day.

and so the young mama made her impressive list and was off to do her errands. she arm wrestled baby hooligan in the grocery cart, threw a couple of full boxes of cheerios in her always-open beak (wait, is this a baby hooligan or a baby bird we're talking about??), and when the cheerios were gone and her strength was spent, they arrived at the car. baby hooligan started squawking -- so young mama glanced at her watch and realized it was nap-time. she ran to her drivers' seat where she set down her phone and keys- this had become a crisis-prevention course of action, since she'd misplaced both items too many times before.

so in the car seat went the baby hooligan...who used impressive wiggling-jello-body-skills to protest the seat- but luckily young mama won this time.
then baby hooligan started squawking and whimpering again.
so young mama dashed to her bags, and started throwing them in the trunk- being careful with the bananas and bread (because squished bread and bruised bananas are just nasty). then the young mama quickly shut the trunk (since everything she did was done quickly). and the unthinkable happened... she felt pain. immense pain. in her cute little pinkie on her right hand. she pulled. and pulled. and PULLED. and realized, yes, in fact, the impossible happened. her pinkie finger was stuck in the trunk. you heard the narrator correctly: STUCK IN THE TRUNK. the young mama had somehow, in some way, slammed her beautiful pinkie finger in the trunk. it was immovable. thoughts of panic ran through her mind.

"how was this possible!?"
"maybe i can wriggle it out..."
"how can i open this trunk...the keys are on the front seat...am i going to be stuck forever!!??"
"they're going to have to amputate!"
"i liked my pinkie so much!"
"will i be deformed forever?"
"will M still love me without my pinkie?"
"could i die from this?"
"am i on candid camera?"

after coming to the conclusion that she wasn't going to escape alone, she started doing a freaky-panic dance to any and all people that happened to be meandering in the proximity of "the incident." there was a person waiting for her parking spot- so the young mama waved ballistically and screamed at them, "I'M STUCK! HELP ME! HELP MEEEEEEE!" she looked crazy, hunched over her trunk, waving her left arm like a monkey.
just then, a mysterious man arrived at the scene. "Holy Sh$$!!" he yelled. and then asked the young mama where her keys were. she told him, "RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!" (as if he was the idiot or something).

about a minute had passed.
she was beginning to feel like a movie was going to be made of all of this.
she wondered if she'd be alive to see it made.

finally, mystery man found his brain, along with the lever for the trunk and popped it open.
young mama jumped up and simultaneously cursed a naughty word.
and then she felt bubbles come from her toes to her head...and puked her guts out.

young mama got in the car and cried.
the man upstairs had in fact saved her finger, but washed her potty-mouth out with puke.
the baby hooligan was oblivious to the scenario- and giggled at the young mama's crying, as baby hooligans seem to do sometimes.

two weeks passed, and the finger got increasingly ugly, turning black and blue and swelling up real plump. the young mama's hubby began referring to her once-cute-pinkie as "the mutant finger."
her parents began freaking the young mama out with old wives tales and stories of gangrene.
and her friends constantly encouraged her to see a doctor because "it just didn't look right."

so the young mama found a morning when she could escape away from the hooligans for the exciting event of seeing a doctor. almost as soon as she arrived, she saw nurses and doctors who all scolded her for waiting so long to come in. "i have hooligans for children and live in a circus. i don't have time for doctors," she thought. the doc rolled her eyes at the careless young mama and told her to get an X-ray immediately. the medics kept referring to the young mama's injury as a "crush wound." the young mama felt like she was an impostor of some real serious injury...until the results came back showing a minor fracture, and the doc informed her that she had an infection and would need antibiotics and a splint. luckily the medics assured the young mama that she and the pinkie would find their way out of deformity...eventually.

this story has no happy ending, for the finger is still in a "mutant state."
what does 'eventually' mean, exactly?
will the pinkie ever heal?
will the young mama ever be normal again?
only time will tell.

the moral of this story:
don't be in too big of a hurry...you never know how your pinkie may suffer.

{please don't judge the young mama's Hitler mustache. taking care of hooligans and crush wounds come before personal hygiene (or photoshop editing) (seriously though, why does it look like that?)}

xoxo

bloggaholic week.

2011-10-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

hey howdy hey (toy story style)!

i have sooooo much to blog about. life has gotten nuts around here. like crazy pistachio, macadamia, cashew, peanuts nuts. i have lots of crazy stories, new stages of life we've stumbled upon, and fun stuff we've been up to in between. so! i'm going to try to post something every day this week. yes, i'm going to be a bloggaholic. i'll get a therapist later.

topics to be covered:

beach trip on my birthday
Alice turning one
Alice's circus party
new church callings
our yard
Alice walking (as of like 6 weeks ago- wait, that may explain a lot of the chaos these days...)
a crazy finger injury
my family's visit
our attempts at having FHE- including a visit to the Pumpkin Patch
Ellie being SO three, it's killing me (and giving me more grey hairs than i can count)

wow. lots. where do i even start?

how bout i start with the beach trip on my birthday.

as noted in my previous post, i had a fabulous birthday.
birthdays are wonderful, aren't they?
holidays are fun because you know lots of people around the globe are celebrating on the same day for the same reason (generally speaking) as you. i like thinking of families everywhere gathered around the Christmas tree, opening Christmas presents together. i like thinking of the world running around dressed up in monkey suits, freaky masks, and princess tiaras, all in the name of candy + Halloween. holidays are exciting and fun.
birthdays, though.... birthdays are the best because it's a special day. it's a day where YOUR birth is celebrated. it's a day where we celebrate everyone's unique awesomeness. it's a day where you feel uniquely appreciated and loved. it's a day where you hear from family members and friends that you haven't heard from in a while. it's a day where you do fun things and make new memories. and all of that is why i love birthdays.

i also mentioned that in the evening of my birthday, M planned to take us girls to his favorite beach spot up here in the Bay Area. of course the girls + i love the beach...who doesn't, right? we got there in the early afternoon, and i was stoked to take bunches of pictures- especially in time for Alice's birthday. so we had been there for like 10 seconds and there i was, gettin' all snap-happy. my back was toward the tide as Alice was running toward me-- all giggles and squeals like she is these days. M was snapping some pictures of Alice / Ellie with his iPhone.

and then.

BAM.

i was soaked. water from my ~~ghetto-fabulous booty~~ back-side, all the way down to my (thankfully shoe-less) toes. the tide had raced passed me-- and all of a sudden the colors around me dimmed, everything around me went into slow-motion, and there was Alice- knocked down by the force of the tide. she rolled right onto her back- and without thinking (or was it while a million thoughts were running through my mind?) i dropped my camera (which was thankfully strapped around my neck), fought against the water, and swooped Alice up right as the water went over her face. minus her skin saran-wrapped in sand, her teeth-chattering, and goosebumps, she was OK.

have you ever felt the Northern California Ocean?

it's basically ice.

so M grabbed Alice from me, and we stripped her down as quickly as possible and wrapped her in a blanket.

and then i finally exhaled. and inhaled.
i felt like i had been holding my breath that whole time.

M and i just both stared at each other.
whoa.
did that really just happen?
how did that just happen?
how did we all make it out of that ok?

we hugged each other extra tight.
thanked our Heavenly Father for blessing us with safety.
and gathered everything up real quick to head home.

(much to Ellie's dismay. she realllllllly wanted to keep digging. three-year-olds are pretty clueless when it comes to life-threatening situations. sometimes i wish i could still be that care-free and naive).

life is crazy!
and while we'll always remember that crazy birthday eve, i'm so glad that we'll remember that we were all safe and watched over, in spite of the craziest fast-raising tide i've ever seen.

yes, we're blessed.
stay tuned for many more crazinesses (and much happier ones) from this aspiring bloggaholic!

xoxo

12 happies

2011-10-12T20:14:00.001-07:00

12 things on october 12's happy list:

1. the cute poppies snuggled up by my tree in my new front yard, and the beautiful cala lily pot inside my house

2. birthday month and the perpetual parties, oreos, balloons and cheesecake going around our house.

3. Ellie writing her name for the first time all by herself

4. my mustard cardigan gifted by an adorable friend (yes, all my pinterest peeps can heave a sigh of relief! now i can finally stop pinning mustard cardigans)

5. Ellie showing off her cute lil cupcake necklace

6. pumpkins, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin rolls, pumpkin cheesecake... PUMPKINS PUMPKINS PUMPKINS!

7. Alice wearing my fedora

8. the amazing full moon tonight

9. Alice eating a lime for the first time

10. my Facebook page bumpin' and cell-phone ringing with texts, messages, and calls today, helping me feel so loved. thanks for all the shout-outs! i love you, my peeps.

11. newly + freshly cut locks

12. andddddd, hanging out all day long with some of my favorite peeps...ending at the beach for a lovely sunset.

so today i'm happy. so happy that i'll do a little jig in my birthday suit. totally justifiable at least one day a year, right? (no worries, i'll spare you from a pictcha on that one).

26 is going to be a good year- i can feel it in my bones!

xoxo

mr. chapman(s)

2011-10-05T18:08:00.001-07:00

planning parties can be oh-so fun.

xoxo

random thoughts that are all randomly food related.

2011-10-04T21:22:00.001-07:00

tonight i read Ellie like 15 books before bed. we ended with Green Eggs and Ham. i did my silly kindergarten teacher voices and she giggled through the whole thing. i love making Ellie giggle. after i finished i kissed her real tight, tucked her in, shut the door and headed straight for the Oreo stash.

i love halloween oreos because they taste so fresh. so naturally i inhaled the first one...but then heard the click of Ellie's door opening with a few crumbs tumbling around the corners of my mouth. i hurried and hid my other Oreos under my pillow just as i heard her say, "Mama, I'm siiirssty (thirsty)." so i got her some water, scooped her up, and brought her back to her room where i gave her a little kiss. she pulled away from me and said, "watch-ya eatin' Mama?" i told her i wasn't eating anything, to which she replied, "but you taste like a Oreo..."

talk about caught in the act! i laughed out loud. i can't think of anything better than tasting like an Oreo. other than having a funny kid telling you that you taste like one.

it has been raining here which has been so nice. it really feels like fall, which is obviously my fave. and it's october so it's double my fave (i know i say July is my fave...but that's only until October rolls around and then i change my mind...until July comes around again). anyway, since nothing tastes better than warm soup and a chunk of French bread on a chilly night, i made some chicken enchilada soup for dinner.

it was actually a Body For Life recipe i tweaked a little bit- that's right, a diet recipe. that tasted GOOD. hot dang, it hit the spot. and the real way i gauge a dinner success is that i can't wait to eat the left-overs for lunch tomorrow. cannot wait.

Alice discovered that she loved spaghetti this weekend. like, she really loved it. though, now that i think of it, i can't think of many things she doesn't love to eat.

i remembered this weekend how much i love homemade waffles and homemade syrup with lots of strawberries and so much whipped cream, you can't even see the waffle. breakfast food is just my favorite thing.

and one last food for thought, a food confession. today i hosted joy school at my house. i love joy school so much. it's so cute hearing these cute little girls talk about decisions and obedience and sing cute little songs together. to teach them about following rules, we did a little baking experiment. i had 2 boxes of cake mix-- with the first i let them add whatever they wanted to the mix. we added milk, 1 egg, a hunk of butter, and sugar. we mixed it all up and poured it in yellow cupcake wrappers. then, we made a cake box following the recipe. we poured the good mix into the pink wrappers. the idea was to demonstrate that deciding to follow rules brings much better results than just doing whatever we want. so we let the cupcakes bake and about 1/2 way through, i peeked in to see how they were doing. guess what? even the wacky recipe cupcakes were looking beautiful. what the heck? that just wasn't going to work with my object lesson at all...so i took a fork to the wacky-recipe ones and deflated them as much as possible. yes, i'm a fraud! i rigged the experiment, all in the name of an object lesson.

and i admit: i think it was worth it...the girls were amazed by how beautiful the "follow the rules" cupcakes were compared to the "wacky recipe" cupcakes. one little girl even said, "the cupcakes are so pretty when we follow the rules!"

success. fraudulent, but successful nonetheless.

and now i will eat a pretty "follow the rules" cupcake. because i ran out of Halloween Oreos, i ran out of other food topics to ramble about, and it just seems like the right thing to do.

xoxo

friday, beautiful friday.

2011-09-30T15:31:00.001-07:00

there are so many reasons to be happy it's Friday:

1) general conference weekend. my soul is ready for some spiritual uplifting

2) general conference = an excuse to eat an insane amount of delicious food. we will be eating buttermilk waffles with tons of strawberries and peaches and blueberries, whipped cream and maple syrup, steaks, potatoes, chips & homemade guac, and pumpkin bread-- hopefully not all at once.

3) i've had a nasty flu and am finally feeling a little better this afternoon (which may explain the hefty list of foods on #2- i've been surviving on saltines since Wednesday night. ick). being sick is super lame. feeling better is super awesome. and i kinda want to climb a mountain (since i've been laying on the couch for two days straight).

4) family time. we haven't had some time with just our family at home for a few weeks now- with family in town, us going out of town, the Ragnar, etc etc. sometimes it's just nice to not have any place you HAVE to be, yes?

and so, i'm happy its friday- knowing we'll probably spend the weekend in our dress-ups, watching conference inside Ellie's princess tent, eating delicious fattening food while our souls get spiritually fat, too.

oh and we'll probably spend some time rolling around on our new grass.
because it's so green and so-super awesome.

happy friday/weekend!
xoxo

happy happy happy.

2011-09-28T15:56:00.000-07:00

"Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

last week my friend Jenny did a happy list on her blog.
a bunch of things that were making her feel happy.
i like Jenny because she is real and funny but positive. her list made me feel happy. and made me realize that similar things were making me happy, too.
yesterday i read another happy list on one of my favorite blogs, Rockstar Diaries.
that Naomi is adorable. and is so good at finding joy in the little things...especially in being a mom. i like her and sometimes wish we were friends.

i realize that sometimes on my blog i can be a little bit of a downer.
life can be nuts, you know?
one minute, everything feels fine- and the next...WHAM. things change. little ones get sassy. littler ones start walking and bonking heads on every sharp edge imaginable...resulting in blood. loved ones may pass away. good health can change to poor health. the list could go on and on.

being a stay-at-home-mom is the thing i always wanted to be when i grew up. i wanted to have my cute house and my cute hubby who came home and kissed me every night and my cute kids and my cute plates to serve my cute dinner on. i didn't really realize how challenging it would be to keep everything cute. because life gets caarraaazzzzy. sometimes i'm cooking the spaghetti when i realize there's blood dripping from Alice's mouth, and Ellie just spilled milk on the carpet and M walks through the door and wants that cute kiss and i am panicking hearing the timer go off for the spaghetti, while seeing the milk seep in the carpet and the blood getting ready to drip on Alice's new shirt. what issue do i address first? chaos, i tell you. to the point that i'm holding my breath basically all day, and consuming abnormal amounts of bread and chocolate to cope with the nuttiness.

but just because things are crazy and chaotic doesn't mean that there isn't joy.
i have so much to be grateful for -- and so many little things that make me happy every day.

so here's my happy list to share with you-
thanks to Naomi and Jenny sharing theirs with me.

10. Ellie's silly faces. and her need to have several "silly face photos" taken a day.

9. my beautiful new grass in my front yard- and the man laying the sod using a machete to cut the edges. classy. (it's getting all finished today- and then most assuredly deserves it's own post soon. because having your own grass and flowers when you've been living with weeds, mud, and ghetto-ness is AWE-SOME).

{picture taken from my kitchen window- the dudes are out the working and i felt weird to go out there with my camera ... again, more to come, pinky-promise}

8. Alice's lady-bug jammies. these were actually Ellie's when she was a baby. and they are just my very favorite baby jammies ever. the best part is when her little tummy hangs out the bottom of them. oh gosh, her round little belly is simply edible.

7. evening runs- two nights ago, M went on a guys' night with his brothers (who were here from out of town) and his Dad. since the girls and i had the night to ourselves, i decided to take them for a sunset run. the weather was absolutely perfect- a soft little breeze, a beautiful sky, and not a soul on the streets. i love my stroller, my healthy body, that perfect night and that perfect run.

6. side-by-side hotel-room beds for the spazzy 3-year old to jump back and forth on.

5. Alice's little white pants...and her "big-girl stance." i honestly can't believe she is walking so well everywhere. it's absolutely adorable and absolutely saddening at the same time. but mostly it just makes me happy because she is so proud of herself and usually squeals the whole time she walks from one place to the next.

4. bed-time stories with Gammy. brings back so many wonderful memories of being a feisty little girl myself.

3. the beautiful Utah mountains. they rejuvenate my soul. and i miss them all the time.

2. Fall TV- especially that Modern Family started again. holy hilariousness.

1. the big carts at Sam's or Costco- so that both girls can sit side-by-side. especially when Ellie casually puts her arm around lil Alice like she's the best thing in the world (rather than the casual punches she's usually throwing throughout the day).

1- part B (because this photo is just stinkin' adorable)- eating treats as much as possible- especially from our favorite little local bakery, sweet affair. oh how we love our cookies and cakes over here.

yes yes i am happy.

happy happy happy.

xoxo

7 lessons i learned from the Napa Valley Ragnar

2011-09-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

7. if you want to make a spectacle of yourself, lock your keys in the car, and then call the fire-department to come to your rescue. you'll get lots of attention- and have lots of laughs about it.

6. always lock the porta-potty stall. well, unless you want a middle-aged dad walking in on you hovering over the pot.

5. looking fantastic while running is a secret to success. Kristin was by far the best-dressed 80's gal on our team. a few of us tried to rock it, but fell just a tad short of the awesome line...though our hot-pink nail polish was pretty sweet. next time, i will surely take it to the next level, because i'm convinced it helps you run faster...and sexier.

4. running 2 days straight with friends (and with strangers) makes you family.

3. learning how to follow a map could be a useful skill to have -- unless you want to run additional miles...say, 3 of them, after an already longish 7 mile run.

2. dancing and singing all the way through your runs makes them far more enjoyable. i never knew how empowered i'd feel by singing black-eyed-peas' "Imma Be" at the top of my lungs in the middle of the night by myself. and dancing through a finish line was definitely a memorable experience.

and the number 1 thing i learned from the Napa Valley Ragnar is:
tattoos make you feel strong.
and make they you want to flex in any and every photo op possible.

every lost wink of sleep, extra mile ran, tummy ache, ugly speedo bum, and smelly pasture was worth it!
it was a total blast-something i'll definitely be doing again. thanks for fantastically fun time Ladie's From the 80's!

-a BIG shout out to M for holding the fort while i was gone...and for the extra adorable poster he/Ellie made together for me when i got home. i especially liked the stick figures, squiggles, and salty snacks. my people are so cute.

xoxo

11 months = 11 pictures...plus a few more.

2011-09-15T16:11:00.000-07:00

today marks Alice's 11 month of life.
wow.
11 months.
almost a 1 year old.
jeesh.
and so, i thought i'd post 11 recent and adorable pictures of miss Alice- since pictures are just the best part anyway.
yes, there are some repeats.
because a few of these adorable pictures just got globbed into some of my mega posts...and they're just too cute to go overlooked.
such a sweetie, this little Miss Alice.

ok, ok.
so there were 15 pictures...i just got uploading pictures and couldn't narrow it down.
can't believe it's already been a year since i was ready to welcome this sweet Alice in the world.
such a sweet adventure this year has been.
and you know what a birthday means-
a birthday party!
can't wait to throw it...1-year-old parties are the best.
and in celebration of the circus we've become as a family since Alice entered the world, we're throwing her a circus-themed party. (if you're on Pinterest, i'm sure you've seen all my crazy pinning going on).
should be fun and sweet- just like the birthday girl.
and then, she can officially stop growing up.
because i like her the way she is.

xoxo

love you grandma.

2011-09-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

{my brother and i with my Grandma and Grandpa}

today i feel a bundle of mixed emotions.

i am feeling super bummed and blue because my grandma passed away last night.
she was in an immense amount of pain- and was in extreme agony and suffering this last while- so i'm happy knowing she's not suffering anymore. and it also makes me so happy to know she's been reunited with my grandpa, her companion of over 50 years, who just passed away in May.
but again, i'm sad. sad knowing that my own dad has lost both of his parents within four months of each other.
sad knowing that he was there, watching them deteriorate- and not be able to do anything about it.
sad knowing that my mom, who has been "their angel" as grandpa would call her, was there more often than not in these last few days, weeks, months, and years, even- to see and feel every emotion of this somber journey with both my grandpa and grandma- and watch it come to a close.

my grandma was a simple, classy lady.
a few of my favorite things about her:
she always had her lipstick on. and it was almost always red.
she made some fabulous desserts- i just made her famous cheesecake for the first time....and w.o.w.! i drool.
she was a fabulous house-wife- sewing blankets for each of us grandchildren, adorable aprons, tablecloths, and everything else.
she was one of the wittiest women i've ever met- and was truly hilarious in her day.

but the thing about my grandma i'll remember most was her relationship with my grandpa.

my grandma and grandpa lived a love story.
he was in the Navy.
she was a nurse.
his ship was ported in San Diego at the same time my grandma was there on an internship for Nursing.
he told me once that when he saw her, he was smitten. she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. it was love at first sight.

they were married over 50 years- and held hands and made each other laugh every day. when my grandpa died, part of my grandma died with him. and so, four months later, her broken heart was reunited with him- because she just could not live without him.

all i know is i want my marriage to be like theirs.
they loved each other.
they cherished each other.
they took care of each other.
and they were just dang cute.

{pictures from my wedding day}

man i miss them both.
and am so glad i know we'll all be together someday.
how would i be able to live without the peace that truth gives me?
i just don't know.

life is so fragile, isn't it?
hug the ones you love extra tight today, and always!

xoxo

joy school 2011

2011-09-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

it's a good thing it wasn't my first day of school today- because this morning i woke up with five interesting red spots on my face (read: zits) and a stomach ache. interesting the way stress manifests itself in our bodies: extra oil and gas. i wish instead i got like extra wiper fluid and a blast of A/C- but whatever.
ok, you know you're nuts when you type something that makes you laugh at yourself- yet you're positive no one else will get. again, whatever.

what i really meant to say when i sat down here at my deformed computer (my keyboard is now missing a spacebar, a #6 key, and my left, right, and down arrows. which means i have to touch the little sensor every time i make a space. it's horrible. which is part of the reason my computer presence has been a little shifty lately. kids and electronics- a nuts combo, i tell you. man i'm taking some awesome detours and tangents today.) was this:

Ellie started Joy School today!

{isn't she so cute?}

hooray!

now, i'm sure you remember, we did such a cute little co-op last year,too. we decided then to just form our own curriculum- since we didn't want to fork out the money for the official Joy School plan, and since our kids were so young (Ellie was only 2!). it worked out great and we had a really fun year with our little friends. for Ellie, it was instrumental in helping her develop socially. before Joy School, she'd cry any moment i left the room. or even when we'd leave her at nursery. she wasn't all that interested in playing with kids- and honestly wasn't very good at sharing. thanks to sticking through the hard times (and my friends for sticking through the hard times), Ellie is so much more confident with other children. she still isn't the best at sharing- but what three year old has it totally mastered? (at least that's what i tell myself) still, she is amazing at it compared to before. and mixed in with all the social stuff were cute lessons and songs centered around letters of the alphabet and numbers. overall, it was a great first-exposure experience to learning and structure.

{our cute lil squirts from last year at our end of year party}

this year, we have a new little group- of four adorable girls! all little girls Ellie has become friends with through dance. one of the moms had done the actual Joy School curriculum with an older daughter of hers- and with her experience, encouragement and knowledge of the program, we decided to adopt it. do you know much about it? i'd heard of it but wasn't too informed before. one of the selling points to me was one of the first phrases that explains what Joy School is:

Tthe central belief of Joy School is simply that children, while in their most impressionable years, should be taught life's most important thing, various capacities for joy. A related belief is that children suffer not from being started in academic learning too late, but in starting too soon, before they have a basis of social and emotional self-esteem.

doesn't that just make sense?
i was sold right away.

so basically, Joy School has very structured lesson plans addressing 13 different Joys to teach these little preschoolers about: The Joy of the Body, The Joy of the Earth, The Joy of Honesty and Candor, etc etc. all things that i totally want Ellie to learn- and i guess embarrassingly enough just assume she should know already...
there is tons of other info about it on their website that you can check out here.

i'm seriously so excited about it and all that Ellie will learn this year. she is such an emotional thing- and i am thrilled to have this program that will help her recognize and express her emotions in a more positive way...and with three of her best little friends!

and i can't lie: i'm pretty dang excited to have a little more structure in our lives- as our other school year activities (including Mom's Morning Out and Dance) have also begun. while saying goodbye to summer is sad, welcoming fall just might be my favorite thing- since it includes some my favorite things:

-routines
-colorful leaves
-cooler temps
-which means tall boots and cute sweaters and scarves (ok, here we don't really wear any of that till like November or December...it's wonky)
-caramel apples
-tons of birthdays (maybe a tad biased here)
-Halloween
-pumpkin patches
-pies
-the school hustle and bustle...

so let the school hustle and bustle begin!

oh, that Ellie!
she really is such a sweet and sassy little thing.
being her mama is definitely one of my sweetest joys!

xoxo

disneyland 2011.

2011-09-10T22:18:00.000-07:00

on a complete whim last year, we decided to buy season passes to Disneyland.
best purchase ever.
we got a screamin' deal, only had to pay for me and M since Ellie wasn't three yet, and went to the Park a total of 9 times using our pass before it expired last weekend. i'd say we got our money's worth out of it....though now that we have to pay for one for Ellie, i don't know if we'll be renewing them. sniff.
i know what you're thinking, "Marci, aren't you all Disney'd out??" and to that i say, "NEVAAHHH!" (*said like a pirate) that would mean i wouldn't be a Disney Freak. and a Disney Freak i am. i will never be Disney'd out.
it's understandable that some people get stressed by all the mayhem and chaos that Disneyland brings.
others would rather go to any place OTHER than Disneyland, especially with babies and toddlers (and this last time we went, we truly experience chaos- losing Minnie Ears, blankies, headbands, and sunglasses. and it was 99 degrees. yeah, it was a doozie. i wouldn't recommend Disneyland on a 99 degree day. wouldn't you agree Mom? it was nuts.).
but i love it.
maybe it's because i was born in Southern Cal and spent many childhood days and nights at Disneyland, crying over shared cotton candy and being terrified of creepy characters such as a larger-than-life Pinocchio or the weird wolf from Splash Mountain?

{look at our awesome Disney Attire- i mean, we practically came out of the womb as Disney Freaks- i'm even sportin' the Minnie Socks! and look at Sean's suspenders AND fanny pack. man we're jet-setters}

or maybe it's because lived in Anaheim till i was 10? and almost every night in the summer we'd sit on the wall in front of my lil red brick house and watch those Disneyland fireworks?
oh the memories.
it's true, Disneyland just smells like my childhood.
i love the music, the rides (even the annoying kiddie ones), the food (oh, the food!), the happy people everywhere, and the joy it brings on my face and my kids' faces. it's just the best.

anyway, i haven't done a good job of posting pictures from our most recent visits...mostly because i feel like i overwhelm the blogosphere with my obsession with Disneyland. i know, it can be nauseating. but then i got to thinking about it, and i dont' care if it's nauseating! i want to print this crazy blog someday- and in it, i want documented proof of all my awesome excursions with my cute fam to the happiest place on earth.

now, be warned:
gazillions of pictures lie ahead.
(translation: your eyeballs may hurt from excessive disneyness).
i couldn't help myself.
and since pictures are the fun part anyway, you'll only find a brief description (boxer brief style) before the pictures from each of the three visits we made this year.
ok.
proceed with caution.

from our 2-day visit in March:
(Group = Gammy, Pops, Mama, Alice, Ellie, Mimi, Chelsie)
Highlights:
Meeting TONS of characters (and having an autograph book for them to sign! what a hit!): Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, Rapunzel, Cinderella, Fairy Godmother, Alice, Mad Hatter
Alice looking like an adorable chunk in her red polka dot dress and Minnie Ears
Ellie looking adorable dressed up as Minnie and Cinderella
Eating our favorite sandwich- the Monte Cristo
Riding "It's A Small World" as many times as we wanted
Riding "Winnie the Pooh" as many times as we wanted
Going on the Bumper Cars with Pops
Dancing with Alice & the Mad Hatter- and hugging them realllly tight
Having an extra fun time since Gammy, Pops and Mimi (and her friend Chelsie!) all came and partied with us

from our escapade in May:
(*note: i did post some photos from this day in my Disneyland: Holga post. i love those pictures)
Group: Mama, Daddy, Ellie, Alice, Mimi- and we even got to meet up with some friends!
Highlights:
Meeting Ariel and Aurora right at the beginning of the day
Ellie dressed up as Rapunzel- so cute
Riding the new Toy Story ride for the first time- so fun! (the line is always so long- but this time it wasn't too bad and we finally waited for it- we all loved it)
Meeting up with our friends Nick and Rachel, Cristian and Reese- so fun to see you guys! thanks for making the trek out to see us!! it was so cute seeing Ellie and Reese play together. man we miss you guys!
Meeting up with our friends Julianne and Bracken and their adorable triplets- thanks for staying late to see us!!! your kids are so adorable- and it's just not fair that we don't live closer. miss you all!
Alice being interested in the rides- she loved "It's a Small World" - and so it of course was engrained in our memories at the end of the day
Going on Autopia a million times- Ellie loves that ride

and from our most recent trip, the end of August:
Group: Mama, Daddy, Ellie, Alice, Gammy, Jeff, Mimi
Highlights:
Our crazy 2 mile walk to the park + from the park. what were we thinking, Mom!?
Seeing Ellie, M & Jeff ride the teacups
Alice riding her first carousel- and squealing out of joy the whole time
Ellie riding in between two strangers on Pirates of the Caribbean- hilarious!
Alice taking her first steps to Gammy- seriously- she took her first four steps at Disneyland to Gammy. what an awesome thing to be able to say for the rest of her life! (spoken from her Disney Freak mother)
surviving the heat with frozen lemonades and ice cream cones
Ellie and Alice in their matching Minnie Costumes-i die!!
Ellie and Alice meeting Minnie together (three times!)- i die again!
Ellie dancing in the middle of the street- all by herself- while waiting for the parade to begin- hilarious.
Ellie learning how to bow and dance like a Princess at the Royal Coronation Ceremony- so cute.
watching Gammy and Ellie go on the bumper cars together
Seeing M have a blast with his little brother on all the rides
the awesome new fireworks show- especially seeing Dumbo fly over the Castle

and i think one of my favorite things about Disneyland is when the day is nearly over and all of a sudden....there's silence. so you look down to your stroller to make sure everyone's ok, only to see everyone in a true Disney Coma.

and you know there's gotta be some good dreams going on in those little sleepy brains.

and thus concludes my mega-Disneyland 2011 post!
don't know when we'll be back (sniff)...
but when we do, you'll be sure to be one of the first to know about it.
(i can hear your excitement bursting through the screen).

i love Disneyland.
but i'm pretty sure you've already gathered that much.

*a special thank you to my parents and sis for always being willing to come with us, the circus, to Disneyland. i know it's not easy- but it's so much more memorable and sweet when you're around. hugs.

xoxo

weekend moments.

2011-09-04T19:48:00.001-07:00

some favorite moments from this weekend:

playing in the kiddie pool...before it was even full...in dry clothes (NOT swimwear) out of sheer excitement and anxiousness to just get in and get wet:

squirting the mama over and over again with a squirt gun, even after multiple requests (ahem, demands) to stop:

learning how to become an impressionistic artist from a verrrry young age:

the sheer joy that can only come from enjoying ice cream and treats galore:

the cougars pulling out the big W- but more importantly, lil Munch learning how to do the hand-motion for TOUCHDOWN!, just in time for football season, thus making her dadda ever-so-proud:

and the exciting news that Buzz has finally earned his rightful throne in the Dollhouse.

successful weekend, yes?
and we've still got tomorrow!
three-day weekends are da besssssst.

hope you're having fun and hugging the ones you love extra tight!

xoxo