things that make me smile.

(having my mom call worried if i was down in the pits of despair due to my last post...plus tons of your overwhelmingly thoughtful responses made me realize what a bump on a log i sounded like a couple-a days ago. so, i thought i'd let you know that amidst my flair for the dramatic, i do smile a couple hundred times a day...and these are just some of the reasons why...)

• Ellie's pretend sleeping. definition: when Ellie goes and gets a blanket from her room and pretends to be sleeping. and then yells, "Mama! Mama! MAAAMMM! Ellie's sleeping!"
  
  
  
  
  
  and so then, once she's gotten my attention that she's sleeping, she'll close her eyes real good, and then smile, and giggle a little bit...until she finally says, "Ellie's awake now!"
  
  
  
  
  
• the way Ellie refers to herself in third person. and is desperately trying to sort out all of her pronouns, but often says, "Where is her? it? his?" or "Who is him? her?" or "Mama, hold you?" (instead of Mama hold me). i'm going to miss it when she fixes this someday. though i do think it would be weird if my 13 year old still had her pronouns mixed up.
  
  
• another Ellie phrase: when she says "whoa!" especially when it's accompanied by "crazzy!" it's so expressive and funny when she says it. like the spatula fell from the counter at dinner time tonight and she said, "whoa, crazy!" such a character.
  
  
• my man. and calling him my man. he he.

• my new lovely duvet coverlet from ikea. just a step in the right direction of decorating...only $15 bucks to spruce up my shabby-lookin' bed. now bring on some pillows! (my next project. right next to all the painting and refinishing and nesting i have to do in the next 12 weeks).
  
  
  
  
  
• our garden. now, it may seem a little random to you that we built some redwood planter boxes to have a garden BEFORE laying sod and finishing our backyard. quite frankly, it's a little random to me too. but i'm so glad we did. because while M has been gone, i've had something to work on and pour a little of my love (and loving sweat, of course) into. and now, we are already enjoying its fruits- peppers galore, zuchinni, and the tomatoes are a-comin'. you know me and my salsa love. to say that i'm thrilled about it all is a huge understatement.
  
  
  
  
  
• this is related to our garden- but deserves it's own special smile: gardening with Ellie. you see, i really have wanted to plant pumpkin plants in our third planter box- but i must've been a hair too late because i couldn't find them anywhere. so two Saturdays ago, i decided to have Ellie help me plant some pumpkin seeds into these little cups to make our own pumpkin plants. like this:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  it was so cute. she spilled dirt everywhere- on me, on the floor, on the table...and just a little made it into the cups. her favorite part was putting the seeds in though, and then making them disappear. she thought that was pretty magical. since then, we water them together basically every day. i was a little worried that they might not grow anything...what a bummer that'd be. especially the part when i'd have to tell Ellie, "sorry sweetie. Ssnlight, water and dirt + seeds don't grow plants all the time. only sometimes. like the sometimes your Mama has nothing to do with it." but much to my giddy excitement the other day, we saw a bud! you should have seen Ellie. she jumped up and down, and spun around...and then tried to pluck that thing right outta there. silly girl. and today, all 10 cups have little pumpkin sprouts. we're getting ready to plant a few of them this weekend- (side note: i'll have 1 extra little-pumpkin sprout and 3 extra big-pumpkin sprouts. is anyone interested in these? let me know). i'm just hopin' we'll have some pumpkins in time for Halloween! (though, i'm sure i will be in infant-la-la-land at that point and won't give a poop about pumpkins...yipee).
  
  
  
  
  
• country music. and yeah, i love me some Taylor Swift- such a cutie. but i'm talkin' about the Brad Paisley and Tim McGraw country. because Brad is freakin' hilarious, and Tim is the sexiest cowboy on the planet. i'll never forget the day i saw him in torn, worn, & tight floral embroidered jeans singin "where the green grass grows" when i was in tenth grade. changed me for good...and can always put a smile on my face.

 {what a sexy man}

• my house. even with the graham crackers sprinkled generously all over the carpet (which you could observe in the pretend-sleeping pictures) like they are right now. and the mismatched furniture. and the piles of mail that i don't know what to do with. and the laundry that doesn't seem to fit anywhere. and the endless piles of dirt + weeds in the backyard. i love my first little house and smile just thinking that it really is ours. our very first home.

• dressing up like a princess. don't you worry: it's the first thing we do in the morning and the last thing we do before we go to bed. in fact, yesterday when Ellie woke up, she put on her skirt, crown + sparkly red shoes and said to me "What's Princess Ellie doin?" and then last night and tonight before bed, she insists on having princess dance parties...which consists of me putting on the disney station on Pandora, Ellie putting on her fluffy pink skirt, and us twirling together for a good 15 minutes. what a way to wind down for bedtime, huh?

•  playing the piano. when we went down to So Cal the beginning of this month, we were able to make a getaway with the piano i grew up playing on. tender, i know. but there really is something magical about sitting down and playing the instrument i played through my childhood years. i must mention this though- since i left home 7 years ago, i haven't had a piano in my house. yes, my skill-level has greatly deteriorated. in fact, Ellie gets very frustrated when i make mistakes. i have this book full of classic disney songs...and if i make one mistake, she'll say to me, "play a different song, Mama." tough critic. still, playing the piano expresses a part of my soul that's been asleep for a long long time. and it just feels right.

• the little smiley faces that you make on the computer- these ones: :) they just look all friendly... like a cute little grin. and they usually make me mimic a cute little grin right back.
  
  
• a new shirt. even a big tenty-ish maternity one. that always takes the frump out, spreads a smile and makes me a feel a little more cute for some reason. one of my faves recently is a target maternity shirt- i have to try really hard not to wear it every day. because it's comfy. and has those rouched sides which is somewhat flattering to my sad little love-handles that i don't remember having last pregnancy.
  
  
  
  
  
  {p.s. this model does NOT make me smile. who looks like that during pregnancy? c'mon. that's just mean to all of us REAL prego's out there.}
• french toast. and whipped cream. and fruit. and homemade syrup. and don't forget the powdered sugar. as if there wasn't enough of that in this already. mmmm. (maybe my regular consumption of these babies explains the newly-improved love handles?)

•  thinking of Jacob in his denim-cut-off jean shorts. and Jasper and his creepy-eyes/Willy Wonka hair-do.

•  baby kicks. shakes. and rolls. i feel like i already know this feisty stinker. and i want to tell her to pick on someone her own size when it's 3 am and i wake up to one of those kicks/shakes/rolls. but it also makes me give a groggy little smile. even at 3 am.

• when M & E do exercises together. so stinkin' cute. and funny lookin' too.

• snuggles and kisses from M & E. especially when caressing my hair is involved. that sounds mighty nice right about now. M? where are you?

• phone calls and texts from my family and friends. and even comments from you. yes, those always smear a big smile across my face.

see. lots of things make me smile. lots and lots and lots of things.
and yes, i realize a good chunk of them include Ellie.
but she is my world right now.
and boy does she make me smile.

:)

xoxo

explanations

i've had people ask me some interesting questions lately.
so i thought i'd publicly answer them.
because i heard once that if you have the question, than someone else probably has that same question too.

how do you spell your name?

now, i realize that my email address has my name spelled "Marci," my posting alias is spelled "Marce" and i have several comments that start with "Marcia." so what is my name? let me elaborate. well, you see, my full name is Marcia. said like this: Maarrrrssssseeeeyyaaaaahh. yes, like that. or if you are good at spanish R rolls, Marrrrrrrrrsya. but usually only my Grandma or my Mom say my name like that. you see, i was named after my grandma- the cuban one named Marcia. but most people pronounce it wrong, often saying Marsha, so i just turn my head the other way and go by other things. like Marci. that's short for Marcia (get it?).and most people now call me Marci and know me by Marci. but just so you know- it's not spelled with a Y or an IE (though i don't really care if it's spelled wrong. i'm just nice like that). which leads me to the name Marce. now, this is a nick-name. i realize that this is no shorter than Marci...they both have five letters. but let me explain (since that's what this post is about). Marce is said like this: Marrrssss (with a soft S not a Z-sounding S like in Mars). in high school, 99% of my friends called me Marce. in fact, i don't know if some of them would even or have even called me Marci. they call me Marce. and if you try to write Marce like this "Marc" it says MARK. and that's not my name at all. and if you write it like this "Mars" it reads "Marzz" and that's not my name either. so putting the E at the end makes the C soft. so it says Marce. like that. is this too deep and heavy of an explanation? maybe. but it is what it is. and maybe now all my different names in different places will make a little more sense.
 
you decided on your baby's name already? Roxy?

no. we haven't decided yet. i just like it. like, a lot. but i've gotten lots of hater comments, even though i asked to not receive those- but i guess it's what you get when you share your name early. and is the reason why i concealed Ellie's name for so long-- because i didn't want anyone smashing it down. why does everyone have to have such an opinion on names? i don't know the answer to that one...but i know i have an opinion on them too, so i guess i shouldn't be talking. but just because i already spilled the Roxy beans, some of my other favorite names include: Alice, Annie, and Raegan. what's your fave? just curious. mine's still Roxy Lynne :)

you sure don't talk about baby #2 much. but you sure do complain about being pregnant a lot.

geesh. i know that's true. i wish it wasn't. let me address the last part of that statement first: the complaining part. you see, i know that it is a tremendous gift that God has given me to be pregnant. i thank him every day for that gift. but that gift hurts me sometimes. and it makes me feel very strange and unlike myself. that's why i complain about it. i just want to be me. but it's hard to be me when i have a huge watermelon dictating all of my emotions, food preferences, and energy levels. does that make sense? i hope it does. and if it doesn't, and if i have offended anyone by my complaints, i'm sorry. i'll try to be less...dramatic. though we all know how impossible it is for that to happen.
as far as the first part of that statement: here are a few little facts to update you on this pregnancy and baby:
-i want to paint her room plum. like not a dark plum. but a soft plum.
-i dream about her a lot. but mostly nightmare dreams- like forgetting about her and then leaving her somewhere. and it really freaks me out. a lot.
-i am 28 weeks along. into the 3rd trimester. we're in the hottest part of summer. it's pretty miserable being so pregnant and being so hot all the time. but it's crazy to think that we're at the tail end of this thing. wow. that happened surprisingly...fast. (did i just say that?)
-she moves even more than Ellie did- and that is saying A LOT. and for those of you who knew Ellie as a baby, you know, i need lots of prayers sent my way if i'm going to have a baby even MORE active than Ellie was. having said that, it makes me feel good to know she is alive, and feisty like me and Ellie. but poor, poor M. maybe we can add a prayer...or two..or ten...for him. he's gonna need it.
-i think about her nose a lot. i love Ellie's nose. and i hope i love her nose too. from her ultra sound, it looks like a button one again...and that makes me excited. i love cute little button noses.
-i have been having tons of contractions lately. ones that really take my breath away. i don't like that. not one bit. doc says it's normal, though. says that we experience everything earlier and with more intensity in subsequent pregnancies. it just reminds me often that the d-day is getting close. a little too close. and that i better go clean something. or do something i won't be able to do once she's here.
-i still like cherries- but i think even more than cherries this pregnancy, i love watermelon. i eat tons of it. like, i just cut up a fresh one on Sunday (like a big one)- and it's almost gone. Ellie doesn't like watermelon. and M only nibbles on it. sometimes i wonder if baby girl is floatin in a bath full of watermelon juice. it feels that way sometimes.
-i'm kinda freaking out about space and where to put stuff and things to make room for another human in the house. M says it will all work out. duh. but, i am way overwhelmed with how to make everything all work out. Ellie still loves her crib...so baby girl doesn't have one at the moment. should i transition Ellie into a toddler bed? this is my daily debate. part of me says, yes, it would be awesome to have that transition taken care of before baby girl comes. plus, then i could use our extra bed we have for Ellie's bed, and move the crib into the other room (freeing up lots of space, helping out my space issue). but then the big part of me says, nooooo. why would you do that to yourself? create sleepless nights before the sleepless nights even arrive..and possibly forgo naptime. (i've heard it happens). ah. i'm at a loss of what to do in this situation. i think about it way too much.
and since i started talking too much about Ellie in there that's my little pregnancy update. for now.

what do you do all day?

ouch. what a question. well. let's see here.
you see, i do something different each day.

Mondays are laundry days. and chore days. to recover from our party hard weekends (ha). i also try to squeeze grocery shopping in here.
Tuesdays are random errand/project days. if i didn't get grocery shopping done on Monday, i finish it today. but  this will change as they will soon be filled (in two weeks) as "Joy School Day." the day Ellie goes to Joy School. i can't wait for this. and i can't believe she's old enough to go to Joy School. wow. i'll have to fill you in on our Joy School plans in the near future. something i'm definitely very thrilled to be included in.
Wednesdays are park days. our old ward organized this day of the week where all the young moms and their toddlers/preschoolers go to the park and let their kiddos play while we get a chance to talk to real humans for a few hours. it's nice for Ellie to go and play hard for a few hours outside.
Thursdays are outing days. this means that we either have someone over to play, we go somewhere to play, or we go out somewhere. like Six Flags. or like the Zoo. i like doing those kinds of outings on Thursdays because they seem less crowded on those days. we also go to our Farmers Market in the evenings on Thursdays.
Fridays are field trip days- this means that our old ward organized an activity every Friday to do together in the summer. sometimes these activities are little too old for Ellie (ie museums and stuff). but last Friday we went to this awesome little swim place- it's fun to get together to do something like that with other kids and other moms.
Saturdays are house project days. that is a very broad term.

now, Ellie usually naps from about 1:30 to 3:30. during this time, i recover from the morning and get ready for the evening. that means cleaning, finishing up laundry, getting dinner ready, and all that jazz. we don't go out too often in the evenings (except for farmer's market Tuesdays)- that's usually our wind-down (or maybe more like wind-up) play time where Ellie hangs out and i try and give her some good one-on-one attention- reading, coloring, playing outside in the kiddie pools, and eating lots and lots of fake food/cake. :)
and in between all of that, i make dinners, and change diapers diapers diapers, wipe noses, do cute hair-dos (sometimes amidst tears), wipe down kitchen counters, sweep up crumbs, wipe tears, discipline tantrums with time-out chair time, plan YW lessons, plan what my dream house will look like someday, dress-up like a princess, giggle, coupon, and give lots and lots of hugs and kisses.

do you have any favorite decorating websites?

several people have asked me this lately. i laugh. because i am thee worst home decorator on the face of the planet. i need some serious house-CPR. but my friend Becca told me about this site recently: younghouselove.com. wow, i love that site. i'm addicted. M and i are now trying to figure out how to vamp up our bedroom space- we're thinking of building our own headboard from this tutorial, and building closet space on the side of our bed modeled after this bedroom (since closet space is a huge issue in our little abode). not to mention all the stuff i want to do to Ellie's room/the nursery/the kitchen/the family room/etc etc etc. anyway, can you help me by adding to my list of favorite decorating sites? because my list has....like 2 on it. thanks.

and Ellie just woke up from a nap.
so that's it from me + my rambling + weird explanations for things.
i think i just needed a few minutes to....have a blog dump.
a random one, too.
and that's that.

xoxo

heeeyyy duuuudddee.

(honk twice if you watched that show...when you were like 7).

so it's MY dude's birthday today.
so why not give the Mr. a birthday "hey dude" (aka shout-out) on the blog?
you see, today marks twenty-seven years for M.
i know, right?
what an oldie.
and if i was super nice and talented, i would proceed to write twenty-seven things i love about him.
but that sounds long.
and it would need to be censored, which would make it harder. (what? we're married).
so,
i just want to say two things (since two is the first number in the number 27..hehe) that i love most this year about him real quick on this, his special day.

1. M is the kindest human being on the planet. anyone who has spent more than 10 seconds with him would agree. he'll sit and talk with the girls and be truly interested, he puts up with romantic comedies (and even likes 'em...don't tell him i told you), he finds good in even the most prickly of prickly people, he asks multiple times a day how baby #2 is doing and how i am feeling and if i need anything (yes, please, i need a diet coke, 2 shots of vanilla, 5 otter pops, a pillow for my back and a pillow for my feet...oh and could you scratch my left toe? i can't reach it anymore. thanks), he is a loving brother and son...and most importantly (to me), he is a loving dad + hubby. i think kindness is his best trait. and it is dang sexy.

2. he is fun. yes, he is a very hard worker- but he also knows how to let it all go and have fun...which i love! he loves to boogie board, he loves to golf, he loves rollin' around and wrestlin with Ellie,

 he always wants to do something new and adventurous and/or quirky (like making random videos or driving somewhere new on the spur of the moment), he does silly things with me (like wearing bright yellow sunglasses...in public,

 or trying on a ridiculous amount of different hats

or having random dance parties), he's constantly smiling and optimistic, he makes Ellie laugh all the time,

and he does his best to make me laugh, too...even though i can be prett-y dang grumpy these days (geesh, what happened to my happy-go-lucky self? i think baby #2 kidnapped her...and will give her back with her first breath. at least that's what i'm hoping). M is super fun to be around. i'm so glad to have him- and miss his funness terribly when he is away.

anyways, sorry about all my tangents. but, the point is, M really is the best.
and i'm glad he's mine!
Happy Birthday, dude.
hope you feel loved today + always!

 with love,
your wifey + crazy 2 year-old Ellie

p.s. we're going to the Cheesecake Factory tonight to celebrate (awe yeaaahh!). i'm feeling adventurous...which means i want to try something new. i usually get this delicious Jamaican Jerk dish or the Cuban Sandwich. they are both so. dang. good. man, i'm salivating right now. but i'm curious...what's your Cheesecake Factory fave? their menu is ridiculously huge, so i feel pretty lame that i get the same thing every stinkin' time. suggestions would be appreciated.
p.s.s. this is completely and utterly unrelated- but is it just me, or is sweetened condensed milk possibly the most heavenly dessert ingredient ever to exist? wow.

xoxo

i'm an emotional pile of poop.

seriously.
i am.
like, when the dishwasher broke, and the guy told me it was going to cost $188.36 to fix, i cried.
and it's still broken.
but he promised he'd be back to fix it.
so while hand-washing one of the millions of dishes from breakfast this morning, i cried again. i hate washing dishes.

and when our brand-spankin'-new drier mysteriously stopped working. on our 3rd use. i cried then, too. how can something you JUST bought for HUNDREDS of dollars give you an error and randomly stop working? i don't get that. it's very aggravating. especially when you only have like 3 things you feel cute in, and those 3 things need to be dried by your dryer. so then i go pioneer-woman-style, and dry them on a clothes-line outside. only for them to fall off into the dirt (because 1- i'm not a pioneer-woman, and didn't realize hanging clothes takes skill, and 2- our backyard is overflowing with awesome dirt right now. it's pretty classy). and get all wet + dirty = muddy. yeah, i cried then too.

and when Ellie got into PAINT (while i was washing those stupid dishes i told you about). paint that i JUST BOUGHT. and i ran to rinse it off, and my hand knocked the scentsy candle plugged into the electrical outlet by the sink...and spilled hot wax all over me + the countertop....all 10 minutes before i had to be at Young Womens. WITH Ellie. because M is out of town. yeah, you guessed it. i cried then too.

and when the lady today at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom (where we have our passes) told me that i couldn't ride the train because i'm pregnant (which goes seriously like 2 miles an hour. if that)- which meant that Ellie couldn't ride it because she needed to be accompanied by an adult...i cried. and then i sucked in my pregnant belly real good and told her i wasn't pregnant. and she laughed in my face. and then the tears flowed freely. so then, the rest of the day, i sucked in so hard that i made myself sick, so i just looked like i had eaten 5 too many funnel cakes instead of looking like i was hoarding a human like i am....all so that Ellie could ride the rides...

and so then, even in happy moments, i've started crying. because my eyes are just really good at it these days. like when Ellie woke up yesterday, and wanted me to rock her in the chair. and kissed my arm. and my cheek. and for a minute, i just wanted it to be me + her forever. not any other baby. because we're already a good team. and i love her so much. and i don't want her to not be my baby anymore. i cried then thinking about that.

and then i thought about having a baby in the house. and that made me so happy. and so i cried because i was so happy. because babies are so sweet. and gentle. and Ellie will be such a good big sister. and i'm so excited for her to have that in her life. and so i cried thinking of Ellie being a big sister, and me being a mama to an infant again. that time, i cried pretty hard. it may have been a little bit of a freaked-out cry (infants tend to do that to me) + a happy excited cry too.

and when we saw Toy Story 3- well, i cried like 3 different times throughout that movie. like, the credits were barely over...before the movie even began, and i already had tears in my eyes. not just little ones either. big globby ones falling down my cheeks.

and when i had to say goodbye to my family when we left So Cal on Sunday- well, that was major tearage. and i cried in the car for a good ten minutes. and now, when i look at my pictures from my trip, i cry too. because i miss my family so much. and even when i look at a picture that has M in it, i cry. because i miss him too. and i'm sick of him traveling. it's the pits. (and so now i will insert pictures here. because it seems to fit. and what's a post without pictures, anyway?)

{in Gammy + Pop's backyard...on our 3rd..or 4th...or 5th (can't really keep 'em straight) bbq}

{believe it or not, it was chilly in So Cal while we were there...so yes, we enjoyed some hot-tubbin. no worries, i didn't boil baby-girl for too long :) }

{at Seaport Village in San Diego...Ellie looovved chasing the giant kites.}

{she was a little surprised when it hit her though...hehe}

{this is quite possibly thee most awkward picture known to man. why am i holding Ellie like that? and what's with my bang-o-rangs? and don't you think Shamu's face is just a little too happy to be a killer whale? just sayin.' still, Ellie LOVES Sea World. and so do i.}

{yeah, Ellie's a little attached. it's a bit of a problem}

{but, bring out some dolphins and amazing acrobats, and we're golden.}

{Sea World's the best.}

{and of course, we blew lots, and lots, and LOTS of bubbles at Gammy + Pops house. wow. the addiction lives strong.}

{my favorite thing we did was celebrate my sister Mimi's 19th birthday- we went down to the Pier, and brought this portable bon-fire pit thingie...and spent a good 30-45 minutes trying to light the thing (thank goodness M showed up-- and saved the day)- but then enjoyed pizza + cupcakes + smores...and of course the sand + the ocean waves. it was a blast}

{Ellie was so excited to see her dadda (who had been traveling for work all week, and met up with us at the Pier. i admit it, i was prett-y darn excited to see him too}

{cute birthday girl Mimi + her friend Johnny. maybe they'll be more than friends someday? she'll probably kill me for writing that on my blog. oh well.}

{this is about as good as a family photo gets these days}

{i love my sister. and i love her shirt. i might steal it when i'm skinny again someday. sigh. someday. will i be skinny again someday?}

{cute Mama who made the whole thing happen- she always goes all out for us on our birthdays. bless her. she's the best.}

{and after all that partying, we needed a good day to just chillax and lay out. Ellie did just that. with her bubble gun. seriously, she's a bubbles addict. wait, did i say that already?}

{and we spent our last moments on the beach. M catching the waves...}

{with my Pops...}

{and Ellie, in rock-throwing heaven.}

 {and just because this picture makes me laugh, i'm going to include it. why does Mimi look so tall in this picture? it doesn't help that we're looking up at her...but really, she looks like 10 feet tall. whoa. i love my family.}

(P.S. Sean + Court + Rosalie- you were missed. as always. i hope we get to see you sometime soon!)

it's no surprise why i cried when i left, huh?

so if you see me, don't be surprised if you see salt on my cheeks. i can't really get it off. i'm turning into a human version of the salt-flats. and truthfully, i'm ok with that.
because i'm pregnant.
and that's the best excuse ever for being an emotional pile of poop.

xoxo

sparkling, superb, and then some.

stars...

stripes...

sunshine...

sunscreen...

 squeezes...

sand...

smiles...

sandals...

San Clemente...

sunset...

spectacular sky...

 
snuggles...

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

just some words to describe our fourth...
and some reasons why it's my fave.

hope you're enjoying all the red + while + blue!
xoxo