gratitude.

it’s been one of those weeks.

one of those weeks that dragged and dragged and dragged.

one of those weeks where you feel sad and happy and lonely and excited and energized and exhausted all at the same time.

one of those weeks where you realize that the phrase bad things happen to good people is really true.

one of those weeks that make you see all the small tidbits of your life…and realize it’s all those small things that make your life beautiful.

do any of you have these weeks?
i think you do.
i hope you do.
i hope it's not just me that sometimes has a hard time seeing the sunshine behind the clouds.

but i want to see the sunshine. because i know when i look for it, it's always there.

so instead of focusing on the come what may part of this drabbish week that has past, i decided i want to focus on the love it part that i am experiencing at present…and all of those little things that i feel so incredibly grateful for (even though thanksgiving day is still a few days in the future).

grate⋅ful [greyt-fuhl]: to be warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received

i am grateful for sunrises and sunsets. i love how they symbolize a fresh start and a beautiful ending to each and every day.

i am grateful for family. aren’t families amazing? they pick us up when we’re down. they understand us even when we’re hard to understand. they love us even when we’re hard to love. they make us feel valued, important, and part of something worthwhile.

i am grateful for my family. for my parents, who are my role models, of hard work, passion, and of faith and commitment to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. for my siblings, of whom i feel honored to call my friends- who are smart, funny, kind, unique and down to earth. for my sweet husband, M, who serves me and loves me unconditionally, and who is my best friend. for M’s family, who i consider my own…and has loved me as their own from the day they met me. for my sweet Ellie, who fills my soul each and every day with happiness, fulfillment, and love. i love my family.

i am grateful for the song “Old McDonald.” it has saved me many-a-tears, and granted me thousands of gummy grins from little E.

i am grateful for books. i love escaping this crazy place and finding myself hanging out with vampires, princesses, and war-heroes.

i am grateful for 5-year olds, who are honest to the bone, have zero inhibitions, and love you no matter how many times you tell them “NO!” or “STOP THAT!” or “SAY YOU’RE SORRY!”

i am grateful for medicine. enough said.

i am grateful for music. i love getting my boogie-woogie on. i love singing as loud as i possibly can in my car. i love sitting down at the piano and getting lost in the notes. i love music.

i am grateful for our little apartment that we've made a home. i love that it is our place. i love that i can feel love filling my heart as i leave, and feel love filling my heart back up as i return.

i am grateful for rice cereal. especially when it’s caked and smeared all over little Ellie’s face.


i am grateful for movies. movies that make us laugh. movies that make us cry. movies that give us hope. movies that help us enjoy life.


i am grateful for friends. friends that listen. friends that offer hugs and love and support. friends that know when you need a little call or a message or an email. friends that make you laugh at silly things. friends that teach you and share with you in your crazy times, your normal times, and your wonderful times.

i am grateful for anti-bacterial hand sanitizer. it really gives peace of mind to my germ-o-phobic self.

i am grateful for blow-driers and hair-products that save me from frizzy-hair syndrome (most of the time).

i am grateful for babies. babies who help us serve. babies who teach us how to be simple. babies who help us learn how to love.


i am grateful for my body. my body that somehow created a beautiful baby. my body that somehow delivered that beautiful baby. my body that somehow nourishes that beautiful baby. my body that gives me air. my body that allows me to exercise. my body that allows me to smell, taste, feel, hear and touch the world around me. my body that is a gift from God.

i am grateful to know that i am a daughter of God. i am grateful that i can feel His love for me every day. i am grateful to know that He hears and answers my prayers. i am grateful to feel His guidance and presence in my life in such chaotic, uncertain time of life.

And so it is, that tonight i am grateful. grateful for the sunshine in my life. grateful to be so blessed.

mama called the doctor and the doctor said:

NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!!

ok, that was just the kindergarten teacher coming out of me.

but for reals, after several days of irritable, runny-nosed, tug-on-her ears, don't-want-to-take-a-nap-longer-than-30-minutes, scream-while-she-eats Ellie, we decided it was probably time to make a doc visit (triple UGH).

so we went.

side note: why don't doctors just tell you the real time they want you to be there? meaning, the real time they'll actually come and acknowledge your presence in that little bomb shelter room?

{if you zoom in on this picture, you will notice the constant nostril flow we've been dealing with the last several days. gross.}

diagnosis: Ellie has an ear infection in both ears.
first time mom here, freaking out (not for the first time).

why is it still so hard to hear my little baby cry?
why can't we take the pain away?
why can't they just tell us what's wrong so that some other person doesn't have to stick some huge appliance in their ear to figure out what's wrong?

conclusion: there's a new staple in E's diet...yucky pink paste...which she oddly willingly eats.

chin up, i have no doubt i'll be writing of daisies and daffodils in no time.
until then, come what may...and love it, right?*

*hopefully come what may includes sleep tonight. fingers crossed.*

xoxo

we've been sick.

yes, it's true. ell's and i have been feelin' pretty dang crappy the last few days.

pooey.

M has been so sweet takin care of his girls:
bringin' home soup.
stayin' home on a friday night...instead of going to the byu basketball season opener...just to be with us.
and of course...since there's nothing better to do when you're couped up all day...rearranging furniture and wall-hangings.

how did i get so lucky to find him?

and while we have been in for three days straight...trying to rest...i still feel exhausted.
i think i'm going to go open a new box of tissues.

aaaaahhhhh cheeewwww!

(no worries- i'm not contagious via blogger)

yesterday

yesterday my baby Ellie turned 5 months old.

5 months!

time is such a weird thing. because in some ways i feel like she has been in our lives forever...that i never really was pregnant (though while i was pregnant i remember thinking, does this have an end?)...and that she never was one of those itty bitty babies that i see my friends posting pictures of on their blogs.

but then, i realize...it has gone by so quick. she is so big. she is changing so much. she is so fun. and, somehow, each day...even when i thought it was impossible to love her any more than i did the day before...i do. is my heart growing? it feels like the love is going to burst out of it.

so i decided, there are five months worth of things that Ellie loves...in no particular order:

she loves to stare. like this:


she loves baby einstein...STILL.


she loves her exersaucer.



she loves to do this high pitch scream thing. no, she's not crying. it's like she's talking in an excited way or something.

she loves to suck her thumb...STILL.

she loves suckin on her toes...which is adorable- except during a diaper change.


she LOVES bath time...and doesn't understand that SHE's the one who keeps turning/dunking her face in the water...NOT ME.

she loves her family. gammy, gampa, grandma & grandpa c, aunts & uncles. even though it takes her a minute or two to warm up, she adores all the love an attention she gets.


she can't sit STILL. always kicking her legs...onthe floor, in the bath, in the bjorn, in the exersaucer...ALWAYS movin'.


she loves to put anything and everything in her mouth.



she loves to scoot...so close to crawling. you can see it in her face that she feels so proud of herself with her mobility.





she loves to hang out in the bjorn..i think she'd stay there all day. it's like you can see her learning as she watches the world around her. which leads me to the final thing:

she loves to be curious. she IS so curious. always observing people..and the world around her.


and there's so much to love about Ellie...and it's time to share some of them. in no particular order:

i love her cheeks. i want to eat them. seriously. we used to have these really awesome neighbors who had the cutest little boy they called "Buddas." Buddas was a chunky little guy with the most edible cheeks ever. his mom and dad always talked about how they wanted to roast him and barbeque him and eat him up. a Buddas feast would be delicious, they'd say. well, i now understand. i want sautee her, roast her, barbeque her and double fry her. those cheeks are triple scrumptious.


i love her smile. M and i will do just about anything for a smile...from singing ridiculous songs (over and over and...over), to contorting our faces in ways that are obscene...and could most definitely be used for blackmail if ever caught on camera, to exerting every muscle possible to toss, turn, tickle and jumble little E in hopes of a glimmer of a lifted corner lip. her smile melts my heart over and over.



i love how she knows us. she knows M- flails and throws her arms around when she hears his voice...will sit in his lap forever, stare at him with her nose on his as if to say, "you're my best friend, daddy." she knows me- smiles so big when i walk through that door after work and say her name, touches my face and caresses my arm while i feed her as if to say "thank you mommy," and giggles at all my silly faces, tickles, and songs. sigh.


i love her personality. yes, she's got tons of it. i thought i wouldn't sense any hint of personality until 6 months. wrong, Wrong, WRONG. she has more personality than me, for heavens sakes. she is feisty, she is funny, she is opinionated...and she is absolutely darling.



and so....here's to five more wonderful months (and then some!) with my sweet little Ellie bear. hopefully next time i'll be able to say how much i love the way you sleep through the night (please tell me this isn't wishful thinking...).


xoxo
*wow, sorry for the mega long post...and the anthology of pictures. i guess you could say i got a little bit carried away...*

a little bit of this...

and a little bit of that is the best way to describe this last weekend...which now seems so far away. what is it with weekends? they come and go...always leaving me wanting more. ugh.

anyways.

on friday night, we took our little ellie bear to build-a-bear so she could build her own little friend. ok, really, can a five month old build her own bear? no. so, mike and i did it all...but ellie was right in on all the action...watching the fluffy machine very curiously, putting bear hearts in her mouth (seriously, what doesn't go in her mouth?), and observing the lady stitch up her bear's back.

{the finished product. isn't she sweet?}

mike and i put a little recording of our voices in each of the hands...it is so funny to see her curiously stare at the little bear when she hears our voice comes out of there... it's like you can see her brain working "how's mom's voice coming out of there?" she's a genius, i swear.

anyway, she LOVES the bear.
she smiles at it.
and caresses it.
and hugs it.
melts my heart.



so, thanks to mark & carrie for the sweet gift! we loved the excuse to get out...and ellie LOVES her new friend.

on saturday morning, i woke up and did the unthinkable:
crafts.
yes! me! MC hammer, the craft-o-phobic.
it was our relief society super saturday...and i did some crafts.
and i enjoyed it.
sorry, there are no pictures yet...i'm not all the way finished. but when i am...my craftiness will surely make its blog debut.

then, we went to the BYU game. M is a little...sad. because it was our last game as BYU students (well, i mean, i'm no longer a student...but i feel like one by default as a student's wife). it was a strange, strange reality to behold. i think M is in denial.

strangely, Ellie didn't get tired at the BYU game. which was NOT good. usually she falls asleep in the bjorn...and while in the picture above she looks like she's wiped out...she's not. she was wide awake.

we had a birthday party to go to (happy birthday cute hailey!)...and so i took cranky-wide-awake Ellie...and the unthinkable happened:

she crashed! ON MY SHOULDER! she never just falls alseep in my arms like that. and when i say that, i mean that. if i am a craft-o-phobic person, ellie is a sleep-o-phobic... so i have to admit, this little moment was a treasure for me.

after the crafts, the game, and the birthday party (i'm getting exhausted just typing all of this...whew), we played a little bit with ellie {who continues to make crazy progress in the moving department):


and then i realized...it's my turn to teach tomorrow.

which leads me to this:
i got released as the primary pianist.
i am now in the YW presidency.
a happy change for me.

so i prepared my first lesson.
which i think went ok.
only one girl present.
serious.

so, now you can maybe see why i was tired yesterday...and why i just wanted to veg out and read goose girl all day. and i did. and i liked it.

and, just because ellie looked SO cute yesterday, i have to post a couple more more pic's.



goodbye, yet another weekend. hope to see you again soon.

xoxo

'till tomorrow...

i have lots to blog about...
but i'm tired.
and i'm currently addicted to reading this:


so, i'm going to go snuggle up in my bed, finish reading about the pretty goose/yellow-haired girl...and dream about how much i love him:


and her:


promise to catch up mañana...
'till then, sweet dreams.

xoxo

my baby is crazy.

so, i knew in the womb that little miss ellie was a wiggly creature...kicking me and jabbing me ALL day long, and ALL night long.

then, when she graced us with her presence...and never wanted to sleep...but rather be awake and kick those little legs and stretch all the time, i REALLY knew she was wiggly.

but i never could have guessed that at less than 5 months old...she'd be moving like this.
she is crazy.

f.y.i. she is still a little slow (thank goodness) and does take a little break at one point...so don't expect some speedy little cruiser. but still.



she is absolutely loving her new-found mobility..being able to get where she wants...to put things in her mouth that she wants...the following video is proof:



yummy video camera!

i want to be a scrapbooker.

before i begin my nightly ranting, let me just say: i'm a little embarrassed by how many of you remembered that colorful sweater of mine... i don't know what that says about me...or about the sweater. i'm not really sure i want to know...

ok, moving right along....

i need your help.

i don't consider myself a crafty person.
at all.

the thought of scissors and glue and die-cuts and cute printed paper all sounds nice and fluffy...and really...overwhelms me.

the problem is, i have this deep desire that burns into every corner of my being that aches to be a cutesy tootsy scrapbooker. but i sit down to do a page...hours later, i finish...unsatisfied...with a big mess and a hole in my pocket with all of the money i spent doing it. i stink at it.

my solution: digital scrapbooking.

i've tried getting into this scrapping style multiple times. while this version of the cutesy tootsiness is far less messy and far more manageable, i still find myself overwhelmed.

here's where you come in.

i've noticed on countless blogs of yours ADORABLE digital pages posted. i constantly admire unique cutesy header designs and backgrounds that i KNOW you did. how do you do it all? i guess my main plea is: where do i begin in this big universe of digi-scrapping? i'd love for you to share your favorite sites, the way you started, etc. please, come out of your comment closet and help an eager scrapbooker-wanna-be. i can't do it without you.

thank you in advance.

xoxo

i need to clean something...

i'm feeling stressed.

listening to political analysts all day will do that to a person.
which leads me to this:
we have a new president.
i'm not sure how i feel about it all.

to add to that...i have a baby whose sleeping is all messed up because of daylight savings time.
the little baby who once slept till 7:30 or 8 is now wide awake at 6:30 (no OR 7...its been 6:30 every morning).
no matter what i do.
and that's not even mentioning the two other times she is up in the night.
shoot me.

like i said,
i'm stressed.

when i'm stressed...i clean stuff.
i'm kind of compulsive that way.

then, i start projects that are larger than life.
and i get more stressed.

today's project:
getting rid of old clothes.

{you're getting stressed looking at all of that, aren't you?
and now i'm even more stressed that i just divulged this insanely messy corner of my room. don't judge me, please. it was all in the name of "cleaning."}

a project to get rid of old clothes....this is a big step for me.
because this means getting rid of almost all of my clothes...ones that i have been in denial are old...but rather "vintage." yeah right.

so getting rid of all my "vintage" stuff means...i'm going to be walking around in my birthday suit until i can afford new ones.

ok, not really.
but, my stress-releaser project gave me a new things to stress about- a big mess, and a desire for more clothes to fill the space that my old ones took up.

maybe one of you could submit my name for one of those style network shows...like "how do i look" or "what not to wear" or something like that. i'd love you for it.

now i'm going to go back to being stressed.

*update: hours and hours, empty drawers, a clean closet, a less-stressed marci, and three brim-full garbage bags later, the clothes are cleaned up and out of the house. i'm feelin' clutter-free...rid of all my high school baggage (and let's be honest...that colorful sweater even represents some eighth grade baggage...). anyone up for some shopping?

yabba dabba dooooo

hope you had a wonderful halloween!

with love,

the flinstones

{family flinstone}

{fred}

{wilma & crying pebbles}

{pebbles}

{fred & pebbles}

{wilma & pebbles}

{auntie mimi witch & pebbles}


{gammy witch & pebbles}